What A Doctor Needs
by The Lazy Medi-Wolf
Summary: A Spin off of "What A Vulcan Wants". Focuses on Liv Kirk and Bones! Rated for: adult language, adult jokes, very dark in places, & adult situations. Do not read if under 16, advised age 18 Read & review please. Peace
1. Happy Birthday Baby

2258 – September 4th Somewhere in Georgia 1656 Hours

Leonard groaned and covered his face with his hand. He didn't want to be back on Earth, though his heart still lived there. He didn't want to deal with 'The Bitch', Jocelyn. He didn't want to have to deal with the guilt of losing two patients AND his P.A. in the Klingon/ Pirate debacle… He did want, however, to drink himself into a stupor. Unfortunately, he couldn't.

He stared out the window of the transport shuttle. How he hated those things, damned death traps, even the ones like the one he rode on, the ones that didn't leave Earth's atmosphere. But it was necessary. It was too long of a drive to get from San Francisco to Georgia, and he was finally allowed to see his little girl, Joanna.

She was the only thing he loved, the only thing in the universe that he loved enough to deal with 'The Bitch', her mother. The only thing he loved enough to brave 'The Bitch's' new man, a surgeon who made millions, apparently. While he hardly made ends meat. At least he could see Joanna, and maybe a few old friends, like Josh and Laurie. He wondered absently, bitterly, if they had gotten married yet… if they were even still together…

He took a swig of his flask as the shuttle set down, he needed the liquid courage to face what he'd come to face… He gripped the small bag he'd shoved his few decent clothes into and the wrapped package of Joanna's birthday and Christmas gift. He hoped she liked it… He wasn't really all that good with kids and he had been so cruelly denied the opportunity and the right to know his baby. It wasn't much… but it was all he could give her.

The step off the transport shuttle was one of the most difficult he had ever had to make. But he took it and looked around. There was no one waiting for him that he knew… Typical. So he hitched his bag a little higher and strode into the crowd to wait. As it thinned he realized that, most defiantly, no one was coming. Muttering vicious curses he found a phone and called 'The Bitch's' personal communicator.

He had typed the code into the pad but just as his hand hovered over the send he hesitated. Fuck calling ahead. She knew he was coming. He was going to catch a God damned cab.

2258 – September 4th Riverside, Iowa 1923 Hours

Livie was many things, a Physician's Assistant, a healer, a little sister, her brother's caregiver and babysitter, her mother's angel. But the sad fact was, also, that she was damaged goods. Every one in Riverside, Iowa knew about little Sammie Livie Kirk. Everyone had known how her step-daddy would beat her when she was little, about how, when she was in her teens, she struggled to even be in the same room as a male other than her brother. Things had changed, she had changed, but to them she was always trash.

She hadn't coped as well as Jim had, that she knew, but in the end, with lots of therapy, she was about as well off as her twin. Sure, neither of them were normal, neither of them could be considered totally healthy individuals, but they were good people, SHE was a good person. And she was going to be damned if she let close-minded, redneck, cousin-fucking hicks bully her.

Livie took a sip of her Bud Classic. She preferred sweeter things, cocktails, the Slushomix, but a beer bottle was many things. It stopped people from attempting to spike her drink, because it came to her with a closed top, it had a low alcohol percentage so she could have a few of them, and it seconded as a weapon if need be. She hoped that there wouldn't be a need, but she was always prepared.

Jim was supposed to be arriving shortly. He had a week of shore leave because his ship got totaled in an issue with Klingons. Sounded like her brother, that was for sure. If there was a tiny chance of it all going to hell in a hand basket, then it would, guaranteed, as long as Jimmy was involved. But she loved him dearly, and he loved her just as much. They were all they'd had, as kids. Because an absent mother and an abusive step-father didn't really count as a support system or family.

She glanced at the old style watch on her wrist. He was late, as usual. She took a long sip of her beer. He'd damn well better hurry up. Their mother would go to bed at 9:30 sharp in the evenings and it was an hours walk to the house because the buses closed down at 6 pm, she didn't have a car, and she imagined he didn't either.

The door banged open and the warm wind tore through the room. She heard growls from the surrounding bar patrons, some gasps of shock and excitement (mostly from little old ladies), and a few swoons. Oh yea, Jim was back.

Liv looked up and found herself staring into eyes exactly like her own, their Daddy's eyes. She left the bottle of the bar and leapt into Jim's arms, smiling. He tightened them around her, pressing his forehead to hers. "I missed you Livie." He growled at her.

She didn't need to be a psychologist and doctor to know he was hurt, both physically and emotionally. She could hear it in the voice she knew as well as her own. "I missed you too Jimmy." She murmured, pressing a kiss to his scruffy cheek.

Jim set her down the nine inches so her feet settled back on the ground and turned to the bartender. "Two more Bud Classics." He ordered like he was used to being listened to.

Liv laughed, shoving her twin slightly. "Be nice Jimmy. Here you're just a farm boy, not a Captain."

He smiled indulgently at her. "You have no idea how great that sounds." But behind the smile Liv saw something that worried her, something she identified because it was in her eyes all the time too, whenever she looked in the mirror. Jim was haunted, hurting, and lonely.

She slid her arm around his waist and leaned into his chest like they had as kids. She couldn't say anything to make things right, there was nothing she could say until she got the whole story from him. But she knew from experience that being with someone helped. His arm slid around her shoulder and tightened until it was almost painful. Yea… he needed her. And she needed him… they'd been apart too long.

2558 – September 4th Oxford, Mississippi 1745 Hours

The house looked exactly the same to Leonard as he stepped from the cab and looked up at it. It was beautiful, the classical Southern Mansion. It had been through tons of renovations, but when he'd bought it he'd been given the paperwork proving it had originally been built in the 1840's. He loved it then, currently he just hated it and everything it stood for.

He walked up the wooden steps onto the large, wrap around porch. The second to top step creaked and groaned under his weight. It needed replacing or it would eventually break. Clearly the Bitch wasn't looking after his home well and her man was useless. What sort of man didn't take pride in the state of his home? He reached the door and knocked.

The door opened and Leonard fought a frown. The man standing on the other side of the screen was shorter than his 6'1" and much thinner than himself… And much younger, Len guessed he was maybe 25, Jim's age. His pale golden hair was curly and his eyes green, making him look, to Leonard, like an overgrown Golden Retriever puppy.

The man frowned very slightly. "Can I help you?" His accent was clearly north Eastern and he was dressed as crisply as Len would expect him to be, pressed white button down, perfect dark grey slacks, gold cuff links…

"I'm Leonard McCoy." Leonard growled, "I'm here to see my daughter."

The man's frown deepened. "Jocelyn!" He called into the house. "Leonard is here."

"Tell him to get lost!" Len heard The Bitch call from deeper in the house, above the laughter of children.

But there was a familiar laugh that haunted his dreams and the sound of little feet hitting the hardwood floors. "DADDY!" Screamed the familiar voice. Joanna rounded the corner and came into his view, running full kilt toward the door. _Please Lord,_ he begged, _let her mean me and not this KID!_

The stranger spun and offered his arms to Joanna but his little girl brushed past his out stretched arms and threw open the screen door. "Daddy! Daddy! DADDY!" Joanna cried as she leapt into his arms. Len dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around his beautiful red-headed daughter.

"Hey darlin'." He greeted her softly. "I missed you baby girl."

Joanna laughed, her arms tight around his neck. "I missed you too Daddy! I missed you SOOOOO much!" Her arms relaxed and she wriggled in his hold, forcing him to set her back down. She smiled a beautiful, toothy grin up at him. She was missing one of her top incisors. She grabbed his hand and pulled. "Come on Daddy! Come ON! It's my party!"

He laughed, feeling light hearted for a moment. His baby wanted him there… she still loved him. "You don't mind getting' my bag, do ya friend?" He asked the strange man who was raising his daughter as they passed.

Joanna was so HAPPY her Daddy was finally home! She liked Nick well enough, he was nice and bought her toys and pretty dresses, but he wasn't her Daddy. And she didn't love him like she loved her Daddy. Her Daddy wasn't around all the time, in fact usually he was at school and work, but it didn't matter.

Her Daddy was always with her, because she always wore the present he gave her just before Mommy made him leave, the locket with a picture of him and her. And at night she slept with the teddy bear her Daddy sent her for Christmas the year before. She loved her Daddy more because even though he didn't give her lots of pretty things, because when he was home he spent time with her.

When her Daddy was there he did everything with her. They rode horsies, played games, made lemonade, drove around in Daddy's classic car… Nick never did those things with Joanna. And to Joanna, those were the things that really mattered.

Her Daddy's hand was big and it covered hers totally, and he was strong. She was pulling him, but she knew he was letting her, because he was so strong she couldn't make him do anything… No one could. Because to Joanna's seven year old mind, her Daddy was a superhero, her hero, and could take on the world…

Her Mommy stood in the Kitchen as Joanna dragged her Daddy in. Mommy glared at Daddy and looked at Joanna with a pinched look. Mommy wasn't happy. But Joanna didn't care. Daddy was home. Daddy was braving the only person who could beat him, her Mommy, all for her.

Joanna heard her Daddy say softly, "Hello Jocelyn," as they passed her Mommy. Mommy said nothing back. Daddy didn't seem to care though, because he didn't stop and Joanna led her Daddy out into the backyard, where all her friends were.

Leonard was grateful that none of his crewmates were present at the party. He would never have felt comfortable enough to play with his daughter in front of them. He was not a nice or even pleasant man, however with his daughter he tried. He loved Joanna and as such gave her everything he could, his whole self.

As such he could be found with a football in his arms, running slowly toward the 'end zone'. Ten kids raced after him, jumping on him in an attempt to make him trip. Two already hung from his shoulders, laughing as he kept going despite their weight. He couldn't remember the last time he was so HAPPY. He was even smiling…

"HA!" He heard Joanna yell as she leapt onto his back, the force of her making him stumble slightly. He knew they couldn't stop him so he let them have him, he dropped to his knees with a mock-grunt of pain and effort.

"Alright, alright, you got me." He said just before a forth kid hit him from behind and forced him to fall forward.

"DOG PILE!" A little girl, he didn't know her name, yelled. Suddenly he was inundated with laughing, smiling little bodies jumping on him. He knew he'd ache a little the next day, but really he didn't care.

And, had any of the Enterprise crew been there to see, they'd be awed to find that their cantankerous, rough, rude CMO was smiling a very natural, handsome smile that lit up his grey eyes and made him seem younger. Had they been there they would have wondered what an ass God must be, to rip such a loving, good man from the family that clearly made him happy. Sadly there was no one there who cared about Leonard who would notice.

But the man who did notice was shocked. As he understood it Leonard was a terrible father, a terrible man, and worse, a terrible doctor. As Nick watched the man who he had replaced he wondered if perhaps his new wife was influenced by her anger and bitterness, and the man who he'd stolen a life from was really a decent, loving sort of man. It gave Nick a lot to think about as he called that it was present and cake time.

Leonard smiled slightly at his baby girl. Sitting in a massive circle of her friends and presents, she reminded him frighteningly of Jim. His daughter had been uncomfortable in big groups as the center of attention when he'd left, three and a half years before. Now she had the vivacious nature he saw in his best friend and Captain. It unnerved, but pleased, him a little.

Gifts were slowly passed to Joanna, cards opened and read aloud, paper ripped off in a fit of excited giggles. As he watched the gifts be unwrapped his mild unease at the nature of his gift grew and grew. When he'd left his daughter was far from a girly girl, she was a Daddy's girl, but all the gifts from her friends were pink, frilly, or fluffy.

Joanna hugged one of her friends as he eyed the newest gift… Good GOD who bought fluffy pink stuffed dogs? Dogs weren't pink! Mind, he believed that the only real dog was a big dog, so perhaps owners dyed their little rat dogs pink. Leonard wouldn't know.

Eventually it was his turn to give his little girl her gift. He handed her the decent sized purple and blue bag and fought a flush of embarrassment. Would his gift measure up? Probably not… Joanna pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and lifted out the first box. A Star Fleet regulation Play Pretend Medical Kit (He'd had Scotty's help in making it himself because he couldn't buy one, apparently little kids didn't want to be doctors anymore). But Joanna squealed louder than she had all evening and threw herself at him, hugging him tightly.

"Now I can be just like you!" She said loud enough to make him wince.

Leonard chuckled at the slightly shocked looks of parents and the awed looks of the assembled children. "I wouldn't say that, darlin'. Hopefully you'll have a better bedside manner than me." A few of the parents, patients from his old practice, chuckled, smiling indulgently.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Joanna chanted hugging him tighter each time she repeated the words.

Leonard patted her back gently. "The bag isn't empty yet sugah." Joanna squealed and raced to the bag, releasing him instantly. She pulled out the second gift with her free hand. And then promptly began bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet like a loon.

"Yay! Yay! Yay! Does it work Daddy?! Does it really work?!" She asked excitedly.

"What is it?" The new step dad, Nick, asked Leonard, looking at him as opposed to the clearly overly-hyper child.

Leonard smiled smugly, feeling more than a little pride at knowing his daughter so well. "A regulation Star Fleet issue Medical Tricorder." He glanced at the bubbly red-headed girl, still clearly overjoyed. "And yes, it really works, but it has no power unit right now. So you can play with it now and when you get older, if you keep it nice, I'll get you the special issue power unit."

Eventually things got back on track and cake was served. Leonard watched Joanna when a hand clapped him on the back. He glanced to his side and saw 'Nick'. He fought a frown.

But the strange man smiled slightly. "That kiddo really loves you." He commented conversationally.

Leonard nodded, not quite sure where the shorted kid was going. "Yea, I suppose she does."

"Where are you stayin' tonight?" The man asked, turning his eyes to look at Jocelyn, who was dishing out cake to the attending parents.

"Motel just by the shuttle port. I'll be out of your hair tonight, no worries, and gone tomorrow morning." Len growled, feeling the usual anger at being kept from his baby, his home…

The blonde shook his head. "No, no. You're gonna stay here, in the spare room." Len shot a surprised look at the blonde, who smiled slightly. "I'll handle Jocelyn. Joanna loves you, she missed you, and clearly your not the bastard I was told you were. Stay the night, tuck your little girl in, read her a story, make her breakfast in the morning."

Leonard bit back his bitter, knee-jerk response and considered the kid. He SEEMED honestly sincere, which was really good of him, but also really naïve. "Thank you but no. You have no idea what problems it'll cause in your marriage."

The blonde man scowled slightly. "She lied to me, I think I can choose to let you stay here, given that I'm the one who works and pays the bills." He patted Leonard's back again. "I insist."

Leonard didn't offer him a smile but he nodded in thanks. "That's good of you, Nick. I suppose I'll have to agree." Nick wandered off and Leonard turned his eyes back to Joanna. He smiled slightly, watching her laugh. Twelve more hours with his kid? He sure wasn't about to pass that up.

AN: Hello my Doves! Here is the first chapter of "What A Doctor Needs"! I hope you liked it and it wasn't too dark. It will lighten up eventually but not quite yet. Leonard is a dark fellow for the most part. And Liv is little better, bright and happy and funny on the outside but broken and hurt underneath, just like Jim…

ANY WHO! Reviews = previews! Show me the love!


	2. Darkness

AN: I'm BAAACK! *Cue evil cackle* Seriously tho, enjoy the next chapter of "What A Doctor Needs", in which we will see a wonderfully sweet, tender, and sexy side of my personal favorite Doctor. ; D Warning: Dark thoughts ahead, for both Livie and Len.

2258 September 4th - Oxford, Mississippi 2100 Hours

Leonard smiled indulgently at Joanna as she tugged him up the grand staircase of the old mansion. "And you can tell me a STORY!" She chirped, giggling and excited.

He chuckled, looking into eyes that perfectly matched his own. "Sure Darlin', anythin' ya want." He promised, fully determined to spoil her as much as he could in the few short hours he had left with her. "Go get changed, I'll be right there." She bounded away as he slipped into the guest room, the room that had been his for the last five months of his failed marriage before he'd left and his refuge for the better part of the last four years of said marriage.

Leonard set his bag on the narrow bed and silently cursed himself. He couldn't stay, he knew, but the longer he spent away from the ship and the constant terror he endured while in space the more his resolve to return dwindled. Typically Jocelyn's attitude would be enough to send him running back, but she seemed to be trying to play nice. He wondered absently if it was because of Joanna or the new man… Nick seemed to have taken a liking to him.

And Leonard could like Nick, if the situation was different. He was a decent sort of man, honestly kind and caring, and a good doctor even if he was just out of Medical School. But he was also the man living in Leonard's home, sleeping with his wife (whom he no longer loved but STILL), and raising his amazing little daughter… No, no matter how decent of a man Nick was, Len would always hate and resent him, because Leonard wasn't a good enough man to forgive and forget like that.

"Daddy!" The voice cut through his thoughts and made him smile slightly, forcing back the darker emotions that were his norm. It was not the time for self-pitying and hate. There would be more than enough time for that in San Francisco the next day and for the rest of the week.

"Coming!" He called back, rolling his shoulders and taking a steadying breath. It was time to be a good father, the best Father, he could possibly be, just in case he never got the chance to do it again.

Her room was exactly as he remembered it. Unlike most girls her age, Joanna disliked the color pink but loved the color blue. Her room was a symphony of blues. The walls he had painted, the sheets and quilt they had picked out together… It warmed his heart to see his baby had clung to the reminders of him in his absence. Except for one distinct difference. There was a very large brown shipping box sitting on her bed.

"Help me open it Daddy." She begged, working to force her little fingers under the LAYERS of packing tape. "It's a present but Mommy couldn't see. She'd be mad."

Leonard fought a chuckle. Really, it shouldn't be so entertaining that his seven-year-old daughter was hiding things from her mother, but it was. Pulling out the switch blade he always carried when not on the _Enterprise_, he motioned her hands away. "Let me." He murmured. She moved her hands and he easily sliced through the tape.

Together they opened the flaps and peered inside. Joanna giggled, pulling out three wrapped gifts and a mini recorder. She pressed the button on the Recorder and to Leonard's surprise a halographic image popped up. It had no color and was slightly grainy but he could make out the features of a beautiful young woman with long pale hair.

"Happy birthday Joey-girl. I'm sorry I couldn't be there but I'm finally going into space and there's a lot to get ready." The woman smiled lovingly. "You know I love you like my own but unfortunately I can't take you with me. So to help us keep in touch, since the usual way won't work anymore, I've gone ahead and gotten you your gifts. They're for your birthday and Christmas which is why they're so big."

The woman looked down slightly and frowned. "Well I'm out of recording time now so I've got to go. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas Joanna, and remember I love you with my whole heart." The image died.

Leonard turned to look at Joanna, who was smiling with tears in her grey-green eyes. "Who was that Joanna?" He asked, feeling more than a little put out at having been kept out of the loop. Who was the strange woman? Why was she so familiar with his daughter? And why was Joanna crying?

"Ivie, my babysitter when Mommy made you go away." Joanna said, rubbing her eyes. "She worked for Nick as his Ass… assis… assistant?" Leonard smiled and nodded his understanding. Joanna smiled. "She is my best friend ever! But she had to go, because she wanted to go into space. She loves space. And now she can, so she had to leave me." Joanna's eyes welled up again. "I miss her."

Leonard didn't quite know how to soothe his daughter, playtime and bonding he could do. Tears… when females cried he shut down. Like a good southern gent he was a sucker for a weepy woman, no matter her age. "What did she get you?" He asked, placing one of the presents onto Joanna's lap in an attempt to distract her.

They opened the gifts together. A small, personal communicator (which Leonard knew cost a fortune because he considered one) designed to look like a blue fairy sculpture for concealment purposes, a handmade and child-sized Star Fleet Medical Staff uniform, and a science experiment kit (a rock tumbler with rough semi-precious gemstones and a crystal growing kit).

Leonard was seriously impressed. Whoever 'Ivie' was she knew his daughter better than his ex-wife and all her friends combined. Gently he tucked his baby girl into her bed and turned off the lights after reading her a chapter from a book of her choice (a book about a boy-genius who lived on a Starship). He smiled slightly at the sight of the glowing stars that littered her ceiling. Those were new. He looked at them for a few moments before recognizing some of the constellations. Yes, 'Ivie' knew his daughter really well indeed.

2258 September 5th – Oxford, Mississippi 0600 Hours

Leonard sipped his coffee and leaned against the porch rail, watching the sun slowly rise. He missed this. He thought sadly. He missed sunrises over the acres of field, slowly turning the sky pink and yellow and gold, the darkness of night melting from black to darkest purple to darkest blue, to the brilliant sapphire. Long moments like the one he currently enjoyed didn't happen on a starship, especially one captained by Jim.

A sharp, demanding whiny caught his attention and Leonard smiled fondly. His old stallion stood by the gate, pawing at the dirt, his black fur shining blue, gold, and pink in the light of the morning sun. He laughed, setting down his mug on the rail, and walked to the fence; he didn't really think as he scaled the fence and stood beside his old friend.

The stallion, Darkness, thrust his nose into Leonard's hand, sniffing him loudly. "Hello my friend." Leonard replied, stroking one hand down the muscled, arched neck to pat the strong withers. "You look as good as always." Even though Darkness surely hadn't been ridden since Leonard was last home- no one dared Darkness' wrath except Leonard- he was strong, toned, and as handsome as any horse could be.

Running his hands over the beast's back Leonard found no snags, no caked mud, no bites (bug or horse). At least someone was caring for his dearest friend. Darkness shifted away, taking three long steps in the direction opposite the house. He snorted, tail flicking; saying clear as day, 'Well, are you coming or what?' Leonard laughed and followed the stallion slowly, his hand on the big horse' withers.

They topped a smallish hill and Leonard just shook his head in amazement. Hadn't Jocelyn and Nick been keeping them apart during breeding season? When he'd left there had been Darkness, a stallion, three mares – Lady, Sunspot, and Starfire – as well as one gelded male, Gambit. Those four stood, quietly grazing and dozing, on the slope below him, as did four more animals. One chestnut creature was beautiful and leggy, clearly on the young end of three years, not quite fully grown into her own body, but beautiful none-the-less. Two more, one black as Darkness and the other a glossy bay, were younger than their paler heard-mate but defiantly over a year in age. And one little foal stood pressed close to Starfire, a pale golden with black mane and tail.

Beside him Darkness whinnied loud enough to make Leonard's ears ring. The now decent sized herd turned in unison to look up at them. Within moments Leonard was inundated. The four he had left behind pressed close to him, shoving one another for the chance to greet him. Noses pressed to his chest, butted his back, Gambit gifted him with a wad of horse slobber on his shirt front, and Lady sneezed mussing his hair thoroughly. He laughed. The first completely unguarded, carefree laugh he'd experienced in years. He'd missed them, missed them so bad it hurt, he just hadn't realized it until that moment.

The four new additions slowly greeted him. The oldest boldly, pushing up against him and giving him a gentle shove, leaning against him. He pushed her off playfully and blew in her nose gently, letting her learn his scent. The two younger ones greeted him but did so slowly, guardedly, as if he were odd but not totally unfamiliar. He assumed that someone had been to see them a few times before.

The youngest, a colt he realized as he was closer, refused to come near him, clearly distrustful and frightened. Leonard wondered if the little boy had ever seen a human before. The thought made him scowl. His horses were being neglected. He would have hand fed the colt once a day, stayed with them at night, and been around during the day as much as his work permitted, just to imprint upon them that he was part of the herd. He tried not to let it bother him as he felt the rough/playful butt of a nose against his back and the flick of a tail. Turning, he joined the older horses in their game.

Leonard's watch claimed it was an hour later when he noticed the first signs of life from inside the house. A car engine roared to life, Nick he assumed, and tore from the drive. Biting back a sigh of disappointment he started back to the house, knowing Jocelyn would make him leave shortly and he needed to gather his things.

Something tugged on his shirt hard. He stopped and peered over his shoulder. The little colt stood, Leonard's shirt securely in his teeth, directly behind Leonard. His body posture all but screamed of a nervous request to play. Leonard smiled and worked his shirt free. With a short glance back at the house he decided it wouldn't hurt if he stayed a little longer. Jocelyn be damned.

Nick noticed many things as he wandered into the kitchen of his wife's house, their house he supposed. The coffee pot was full, the smell rich, but the light indicated that it was no longer on. Jocelyn replicated her coffee in the mornings, too rushed to be out and gone to bother with making it the proper way. The back door was slightly open, just enough that the latch didn't fall shut, locking the door. It had taken him weeks and weeks to finally get the hang on that door…

He stepped outside. There was a nearly empty coffee mug on the porch rail. There was no lipstick along the rim so it absolutely couldn't be Jocelyn's. He heard the whiny and turned sharply to look out at the pasture. He caught a flash of black, flashed of brown, and the thundering of hooves.

He squinted against the rising sun, which burned in his eyes. When his eyes focused his jaw went slack. Leonard ran in the center of the herb of horses, the great beasts keeping his pace. Leonard turned with them, totally in unison with them, as if he were just another member of the herd himself. He stopped and Nick watched as the horses continued, turned and returned to him, passed him, and continued in the other direction. Leonard's arms were outstretched, as if greeting and stroking the horses that passed. Nick was too far away, he couldn't be quite sure.

Leonard turned, to see the figure on the porch. Given that he hadn't been yelled at to get the hell out of the house, he assumed it couldn't be Jocelyn. Stroking Darkness' face one last time he let himself out of the paddock and joined the figure, Nick.

The younger man smiled slightly at him and while Leonard didn't smile back he nodded in greeting, his lips held firmly in a neutral expression. "Thanks for making the coffee," The young man greeted him. "First time I've had fresh brewed in a long while."

Leonard snorted, grabbing his mug and entering the kitchen. "Then I imagine you haven't had homemade waffles recently either." He quipped, not at all surprised. Jocelyn loved technology and hated cooking, that had been his job when they'd been together.

Nick laughed. "I don't think I've EVER had home made waffles. My folks were both doctors and far too busy…"

Leonard snorted. "Well I'm gonna have to fix that, boy. It's a crime against nature after all." Food should be made by people as often as possible. Replicators were great but nothing compared to the real deal. He knew most folks claimed not to taste a difference, but Leonard swore there was a huge difference.

The mix was in the exact same place as he remembered, hidden in the sparely filled pantry, on the very top shelf, in the back. It was unopened, which was a good thing since he imagined the box dated back to the last time he'd lived in the house. But it was still good, dry foods didn't go bad for decades. He lifted the box down and set it on the counter, reaching behind himself from memory, searching for the mixing bowls. He found them.

_Good God,_ he thought, _has no one even been through here since I left?_ He doubted it. Into the large mixing bowl he dumped the dry powder. Measuring was for those who couldn't eyeball it, he decided when he couldn't find the measuring cups (the drawer he remembered them being in was filled with papers, pens, and invitations to about a dozen social functions).

But Leonard was a good cook and had a good eye, though he'd never admit it. After adding the water, oil and eggs he beat the mixture with a hand wisk, as opposed to the electronic one. All the while Nick watched him with eyes filled with a curiosity that reminded Leonard of a student on his first day of classes. Well at least the kid might learn something, might be able to treat HIS daughter to her favorite breakfast once in a while.

The waffle iron took a few minutes to find, but Leonard would not be defeated. He had just closed the iron on the first batch when he heard the tell-tale creak of the loose floorboard on the second to top stair. The smile he allowed himself in the presence of Nick was hardly an upturning of the corners of his lips, but it was a smile none-the-less.

"'G'Mornin, Darin'" He called to his little girl. Her shriek of laughter was accompanied by the pounding of little feet on the stairs and hard wood floor. Joanna skidded into the room, dressed in her nightdress.

"DADDY! You're still here!" She cried as she hugged his waist tight enough to make him grunt slightly in discomfort.

"'Course I am baby. Had to make you yer waffles." He quipped. "Fetch us three plates, three knives and forks, and three glasses of milk kiddo." He prodded when she didn't budge. With a giggle she released him and ran to do as he'd said.

"She's mighty happy to see you this mornin'." Nick drawled slowly, giving Leonard a look he could only call sly. "You don' leave without sayin' good bye, do ya?"

Leonard snorted. "I get thrown out on mah Go…" He remembered their audience and checked himself, biting back the curse that was on the tip of his tongue. "Gosh darned bottom, if ah'm even allowed ta stay the night. Which Ah usually aint."

Nick said nothing more, looking to Leonard to be thinking mighty hard on somethin'. He dished out the first two waffles in the silence, handing one to Joanna and the other to Nick. "Eat up." He encouraged the young man. "Best when they're hot."

Joanna didn't like crying. It hurt her eyes. And she especially didn't like crying just before going to school, because the other kids made fun of her puffy, red eyes, calling her a 'cry baby'. But she couldn't stop the tears that welled up in her eyes when her Daddy walked down the stairs with his bag in his hand.

She threw herself into his other arm, dropping her backpack, and cried into his shoulder. "Please Daddy. Please don't go." She begged, fighting the sobs that threatened to shake her little body. "I love you Daddy. Please stay. Please!" But even as she begged, and cried, she knew her Daddy would leave. Nothing she ever said could make him stay.

"I want to baby." He whispered. "I wish I could stay and be with you always. But Baby girl… I'm not allowed. The judge said I couldn't live anywhere near your Mommy. And he gave you to your Mommy."

Joanna hated the Judge, whoever he was, she'd never met him; he was the man who made her Daddy stay away. To Joanna, because he'd ordered her Daddy away, the Judge was as evil as the Devil.

"He's a butthead." Joanna sobbed, "Why do you have to listen to him?"

Her Daddy's chest shook with laughter. "He is a butthead, but you know why I have to listen." He said softly, his hand rubbing her back gently.

And Joanna did know why her Daddy couldn't stay. If he did her Mommy would call the Robotic Police, and they would come to take her Daddy away. Joanna didn't want her Daddy to go to jail, it was a bad place (like time out but much, much worse).

It broke Leonard's heart, as he held his baby girl to his chest. Sobs wracked her little body as she clung to him, begging him to stay. He wanted to, GOD did he want to, but he knew he couldn't. Not only was he due back to Star Fleet in a few days, but he was also court ordered to only spend three days with his baby a year as long as she had another living parent.

"Take me with you." Joanna begged softly as her sobs slowed. "I wanna go to space Daddy! Take me to space with you! I won't get in the way, I promise!" His heart clenched. Never had she asked for that before…

"You can't Joanna, you know that. You couldn't come home for a long, long time. You wouldn't see your Mommy or Nick again." He murmured, hoping she would understand, that she would stop asking because if he thought he could get away with it… he would take her with him.

"I don't care." Joanna argued "I don't wanna live with Mommy and Nick. I wanna live with you Daddy!"

Distantly Leonard heard Nick's huff of breath. Clearly he was hurt or upset, as far as Leonard could tell he liked Joanna. But Leonard ignored the young man. Thinking quickly he raced for reasons why she couldn't come with him. "There's no school on my ship." He said simply. "You need to go to school. And it's dangerous, very dangerous." Those words brought back, in a terrible rush, the memory of his lost crewmates, the two sister's who'd died, the PA who had saved his life, and his dearest friend, Chris, who had been looking like a lost cause for a week or so.

He felt like a complete monster, for wishing his daughter onto the _Enterprise_. How could he wish such a thing for her? He was supposed to protect her, keep her safe. He couldn't do that on a Star Ship.

Joanna sniffed, finally calming down. Leonard pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll think about you every day." He promised his baby, just like he had the last time he'd had to say goodbye.

"Promise?" She asked sweetly, sniffling and wiping her eyes. Leonard nodded. "Me too Daddy." She promised, smiling sadly. "I love you."

The yellow bus pulled to a stop and the door opened. Leonard set Joanna down and handed her, her backpack. "I love you too Joanna." He said gently as she ran for her bus. His heart sunk as she bounded onto the bus and sat in a seat. The bus began to roll down the street, taking his baby with it as she waved desperately at him from her window. He waved back until the bus rounded the corner.

Hefting his bag again Leonard adopted his customary scowl. His baby was gone again, and he wouldn't see her for years. She'd be a teenager next time he saw her. He was fighting a losing battle, trying to be in her life. Come the time she was a young adult, when she finally got married, he wondered who would walk her down the isle… Himself or Nick? His heart, broken and scarred, shattered again at the very thought. With a gruff farewell he left for the Shuttleport as quickly as possible. If he lingered he wasn't sure what he would or wouldn't do and say.

AN: Sigh, Poor poor Leonard…. Having to say goodbye again. I feel like a real monster doing that to him but it had to be done. Hope you enjoy, my doves, and remember review = PREVIEW!!!!!


	3. Challenge Me

Hello again! I don't have too much to say yet about this story. For the most part "What AVulcan Wants" is still getting tons of love and this isn't yet, but we'll work on that. Just remember, review = preview! And I always love plot cookies, so if you have an idea you think I would find useful and don't mind sharing then let me know!

2258 – September 6th 2247 Hours

Liv watched Jim with an indulgent smile. Her twin was such a horn dog. He had a girlfriend, Liv knew full well, but apparently it didn't mean he couldn't flirt shamelessly. He lay it on thick, winking and tossing around innuendo after innuendo. If they were in Riverside it would have gotten him slapped, and then possibly beaten, but they were in San Francisco, the Terrestrial base for Star Fleet.

Liv never understood WHY Frisco was the base for Star Fleet. LA seemed better, or New York, or even somewhere not in the old US of A. Why that particular city? She took a sip of her non-alcoholic Sweet Tea. She needed to keep an eye on her troublesome twin, and thus needed to be sober.

But as she pondered Jim had been moving. When she glanced up he was gone. Liv muttered a curse but jumped half way through as Jim bounded onto the seat beside her. "Livie! Where's your Kirk -Flirtatiousness?" He asked more than just a little loudly.

Liv winced at the volume of his words. "Whoever said your shamelessness is a family trait?" She asked, hoping to deny the very mischievous part of her soul. If she started making trouble then there would be no one to save her twin when he, inevitably, started a brawl.

"I know you." Jim slurred, swaying very slightly in his seat. "You're my twin Livie. I know you like I know me. You're as much trouble as I am, but your better at it." His eyes looked slightly jealous as he admitted the last sentence.

Liv snickered. "Naw, I'm just better at staying out of trouble and not getting caught." Her twin smiled brightly, his eyes playful.

"So prove it." Jim taunted, knowing, as Liv did, that she couldn't back down from a challenge. "Prove you're as good as me." He pointed to a handsome, dark man who had just taken a seat at the bar. "Get him to dance with you."

Liv should have realized it seemed a little too easy, but a challenge was a challenge; she wasn't thinking about how easy it was or wasn't, she was thinking about her target. Even from across the bar she could tell he was handsome, in a rugged sort of way. He had dark hair, a firm jaw, and the hand wrapped around his glass caught and held her attention.

One would think that abuse victims wouldn't like hands, but Liv did. Liv LOVED hands. If a man had sexy hands and a handsome smile then she was a goner. And HOO BOY! The stranger's hands were tanned, the palms square and large, and the fingers long and strong looking (not the gross looking too-skinny fingers some men had). Before she even realized it she was off her chair and walking toward the man with the incredibly sexy hands.

It was almost as if she became a different person, as she strode across the bar. Her slightly defensive stance that she always wore fell away, leaving her cool, confidant, and strong. Her head was up, her short blonde hair bouncing with her firm step, her hips swaying in a way that screamed, "You know you want me" to every man in the bar. But she only had eyes for the man with the sexy hands… her prey.

As she got closer she noticed little things. His drink was a whiskey of some sort, neat - not on the rocks so he was a big whiskey man. His face was slightly lined, more from the deep frown that pursed his lovely looking lips than age she guessed. His jaw was dusted with a day or two's growth of scruff, making him look delicious.

Liv slid onto the stool beside him, laying her hand gently on his arm and putting on her most innocent, doe-eyed expression. Men were a sucker for the helpless Southern Belle. She took a breath and caught the fragrance of Southern Comfort, slightly nutty, but mostly like vanilla. _Ohhh he has good taste_, she thought.

"Can you be a darlin'?" She asked, she had no sexy Southern Drawl but if he was Southern then he'd know hers was a fake, created from a blend of Texan and Georgian. His eyes, which snapped to her face instantly, were the most handsome blue-grey-green she'd ever seen. The intensity of the pain in them made her heart clench and her words halt in her throat for a moment. "I can't seem to get the bartender's attention, and I want a Mint Julep."

"Pull you're shirt lower." He advised in a gruff growl, thick with a Mississippi Southern Drawl. He turned back to his drink, shifting his arm to force her hand off. She felt the ripple of firm muscle under the loose pull over and nearly placed her hand back just to feel the strength again. He was built? She wondered, he sure didn't seem to look it.

"Please," she begged, "I'm new around here, just flew in today."

He scowled and snapped. "Darren! Get your skinny ass down here and get this girl what she wants so she'll leave me be!" Liv wanted to scowl. Good GOD why was he so damned difficult? She'd never MET a more cantankerous man.

Leonard fought a nasty growl when the perky, albeit strikingly beautiful, blonde didn't leave him be. To his hazy, drunk mind the stools beside him belonged to him, so no one could sit in them and bother him like she was doing.

He glanced back up at her as he set down his empty glass a little too hard. Her eyes were the brightest blue he had ever seen on anyone besides Jim. His vision was really hazy, swimming in and out of focus, but he thought he saw some resemblance to Jim in the girl's features. But maybe it was just the eyes.

Said eyes flicked to him and her blood red lips curled into a beautiful smile. Or… he thought it was beautiful but given his beer goggles he might be wrong. "You gonna talk to me?" She asked teasingly, "Or just growl some more?"

Leonard 'humphed' and glared at Darren, the bartender. "Gimme another." He ordered. Were Darren not well acquainted with him, Leonard was quite sure the man would have cut him off, but Darren knew him very well. Knew he could handle his liquor just fine, thank you very much, and knew that on the nights, like the current one, when Leonard drank more than he could handle to just let him drink himself into a stupor and let him sleep it off in a booth.

Darren poured him another and the blonde remained, sipping on her sweet, minty drink. "You gonna talk with me?" She asked after a few long, blissfully silent minutes.

"No." Leonard growled. "I don't think I am."

The blonde shrugged. "Mind if I talk? My brother's here with me but he's busy trying to get as many offers into bed as possible."

Leonard snorted slightly. That sounded like Jim. And he knew exactly how this poor woman felt, he'd been the obligatory third-wheel for Jim enough times. "If you must." He growled but he didn't quite mean the annoyed tone he had. Because he understood, he couldn't totally fault her.

She smiled, not the flirtatious or teasing one, but a sweet, genuine smile, soft and delicate. "I'm Liv." She murmured, offering him her small hand.

Leonard took it slowly, noting even in his haze, that her hand was tiny and delicate in his but callused in just the right places for horse work. "McCoy, Leonard McCoy."

She smiled slightly. "Leonard… I like it. Means 'strong as a lion' doesn't it?"

Leonard choked slightly on his drink. "Good God woman, I'm a doctor, not a walking dictionary." Leonard didn't know if he would ever be considered 'strong as a lion'. Strong wasn't his thing, no one considered him strong, not even strong willed.

"So, Leonard, you from around here?" She asked politely.

"Not really." He muttered, not wanting to talk about his situation.

Liv nodded. "Yea, I'm just passing through."

"What about your brother?" He asked her, remembering she had mentioned him.

She sighed. "He's on leave. When he has to go then he has to go and he's his best friend's problem, not mine." But her eyes, the bright blue, darkened with sadness. "Same with my Joey. I have to leave her behind. She's my old boss's step-daughter and I love her more than her own bitch of a mother." There was so much anger in her voice than Leonard hoped Joanna's 'Ivie' loved his daughter as much as Liv clearly loved her 'Joey'.

"Leaving them both is going to suck." She finished her drink and motioned for Darren. "I'll have a SoCo too." In his haze he didn't think a woman ordering whiskey was odd, even though she seemed like the fruity drink sort of gal. "I can't take care of them if I'm not there."

Leonard knew the feeling… the need to protect, to tend… It had driven him to be a doctor, to marry Jocelyn, to join Star Fleet (Jocelyn had played a part in that too but hey). He would have warned her, had he thought she'd listen. She seemed so young, so ready to help and protect… He couldn't bring himself to burst her bubble.

The song changed, a slow haunting melody he didn't recognize. But that didn't surprise him because as a rule Leonard didn't know popular music. Liv smiled and caught his wrist in her small hand. "Dance with me? I love this song."

Usually Leonard would have denied her, but he was drunk and she was beautiful. He let her pull him onto the dance floor and place his arms around her slender frame. She tucked against him easily, given she was smaller than him by easily eight or so inches, and to his hazy mind she felt quite nice against him. Warm and feminine, she felt nothing like Jocelyn once had (she was taller, wider, and much more dominant).

Leonard could dance, if he did say so himself, and he led Liv around the dance floor with a grace he shouldn't have possessed, given how drunk he really was. Had he bothered to look up, or, indeed had Liv bothered to look up, they would have seen a ridiculously grinning Jim. As the music slowed they slowly shifted to the swaying of most of the couples and Leonard found himself looking down into her bright eyes.

"Bleed Me Blue." He murmured, realizing exactly the color of her eyes.

"What?" Liv asked, stopping as he did, looking up into his face as he stared down at hers.

"Your eyes, they're Bleed-Me-Blue." He replied, too drunk to realize it might be a bit of an insult. After all, it fit. Her eyes were just like Jim's. Eyes that made you fall in love and then set yourself up to be broken, shattered. Her eyes were the sort of blue he could let himself get lost in, fall in love with, and he would never be the same.

He blinked and broke, temporarily, the hold the booze had on his mind. He laughed. "Forgive me, I'm drunk. I dunno what I'm saying."

Liv laughed. "That's alright." She stepped from his arms and he noticed immediately that he felt the loss of the warmth of her body. She took his hand and shook it with a smile. "Thanks for the dance, cowboy." She turned to walk away from him, leaving him deeply perplexed.

Jim was having entirely too good a time watching his sister con his CMO into a dance. She was good, he had to admit. Bones was a cantankerous ass and yet, somehow, Liv had broken through the older man's defenses and gotten her way. He wondered idly if Liv would be as good for Bones as she was for him… Maybe he could try and get her reassigned from the _U.S.S._ _Barrok_ to the _Enterprise_. She'd make quite the impression on the crew.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Liv spun on her heel, her darker blonde hair flashing in the light. He looked up just in time to see her wrap her hand around Bones' neck and pull him down to kiss him sweetly. She turned from his CMO a second time and made a bee-line for him, smiling all the while.

"You are a terrible, evil, conniving bastard." She greeted him. "But I love you for it."

"Like him?" Jim asked his little twin with a slightly drunken grin.

"Very much." Liv admitted. "He's a little cantankerous and difficult, but good god is that man sexy."

Jim smirked. "He's my CMO." He loved the way his twin's eyes widened slightly and her lips quirked into that familiar grin. "He's my Bones."

2258 – September 8th 1800 Hours

Liv hadn't asked why she'd been re-assigned to a different ship, she already knew. Jim thought he was sneaky but she knew him a little too well. But she'd humor him and play pretend, just to see his smile. Jim was like a kid in so many ways, so easy to please and just as easy to crush, though he'd never show it to anyone but her.

She shifted in her new uniform. It hadn't been washed yet and it itched. But she loved the blue and grey against her skin, the colors suited her. A shoulder bumped her own and Liv looked up into familiar bright green eyes half covered by floppy black curls.

"You nervous?" Blake asked softly, tipping his head to his lips were close to her ear, excluding the strange red-head who sat across from them.

"Not a wit." Liv lied smoothly, knowing Blake WAS nervous. He smiled a tense smile, his lips pulled a little too tight. She curled her fingers with his. "Easy Blake, The _Enterprise_ is the flag ship. She's got the best of the best on board. We're in great hands."

Blake's smile eased, his hand tightened in Liv's. "Yea, I'm in your hands. I'm as safe as I'll ever be."

Liv smiled reassuringly even though she didn't feel it. He was so sweet, so gentle, why did he become a security officer? Why did he follow her into space when it scared the hell out of him? Hell… why did she follow Jim into space? If it hadn't been for the lucky happenstance of him being on Earth for repairs at the exact time she was being deployed she would have ended up on a different ship.

Coming into space wasn't really to look after Jim, though she claimed that was her reasoning. Space was a fresh start. Space was as far away from Riverside as one could be, as far away from the scarred, pathetic little girl she used to be.

The shuttle shuddered as it docked and she glanced up at Blake as they stood. "God I'm nervous." Blake muttered, tugging on his uniform to make it lay flat properly. "Do I look alright? How's my hair?"

Liv rose onto her tiptoes and ran her fingers through his hair. "You look great, now take a deep breath and smile." Together they, and the red-head, made their way to the door and stood at attention. Liv noticed absently that Blake wasn't breathing. "Remember to breathe." She muttered, poking his side. As the door hissed open, releasing the pressurized air, Blake released the breath he'd been holding in a soft huff. Liv chuckled.

"Here goes." She murmured as the door lowered.

Leonard was most certainly in a foul temper. He did not want to be back on the _Enterprise_, it was a God-damned tin can as far as protection went; he didn't want to be back in space; but most of all, Leonard didn't want to be dealing with a new Primary Physician's Assistant- it would mean admitting he'd lost a good kid to a death he should have prevented.

The shuttle door hissed and lowered slowly, revealing the new crewmembers. Two red-shirts, a tall and broad kid with big green eyes and a thin, leggy red-head, and one blue-shirt. That one was his. The person wearing the blue and grey of the science uniform was slender, short, and blonde as Chrissy. And Leonard had only a second to look her over before she burst into a huge smile and loud squeal.

"JIMMY!" She lunged forward and hugged Jim, who stood beside Leonard, tightly. Leonard fought the urge to laugh.

Jim, of course, returned the gesture and yelled, "LIVIE!" And then promptly lifted the little woman and spun her, forcing Leonard to leap out of the way or get kicked. Jim set the poor girl down before he had to say something and beamed. "Guys, this is Samantha Livine Kirk, my twin."

Leonard felt his gut drop from his stomach and his heart stop in horror. Jim's TWIN?! Good God the _Enterprise_ was doomed… Two Jim's was, without a doubt, his worst nightmare, and she was his primary ASSISTANT?! God had, clearly, forsaken him.

Liv smiled slightly at her twin. The happiness in his eyes, the light in the familiar blue orbs let her know without a doubt, that he was overjoyed at her supposed surprise and excitement. Well… supposed surprise and real excitement. She couldn't lie to herself. She was excited, excited to be with her brother again, to be the sister he deserved and the woman she wished she was.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It's Livie, please. I hate 'Samantha'"

AN: Sorry it's a little late in the day my doves, and a little short. It's been a crazy week. Between the first week as a pledge (I'm Pi Beta Phi btw, so holla to all my sister Angels!), homecoming being next week, and my Mother being in London all week… Anyway, I was gonna go on a bit about Bones' break and Chrissy's B-day from Bones' POV but it would be REALLY dark because he's in such a sour mood. So I skipped it. But it might come back as flashbacks.

Let me know what you think, my dears. As always a review = a preview!

Next time a good introduction to Liv's first day on board!


	4. This is Your Wake Up Call!

AN: HEEHEE Let the odd, twisted dark humor begin! Liv's first day on the _Enterprise_… Let the insanity ensue!

2258 – September 9th 0545 Hours

Liv yelped as she sat bolt upright in her StarFleet issue bed pallet. Music blared around her private room. For a moment she wondered, '_What the FUCK?!'_ And then she remembered exactly where she was and who had the override codes to her door.

As she rolled to place her feet on the floor she sighed. "Could have been worse." She told herself, remembering the plethora of pranks her twin had pulled on her. The chorus started and she snickered, singing along. "Doctor! Ain't there nothin' I can take? I Said. Now let me get this straight You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both up."

It could have been worse… "Computer, stop music." She ordered as she stripped off her bed clothes and leapt into the shower. The music didn't stop. "Computer, stop the music, NOW!" Ohh, Jim was in sooo much trouble when she got her hands on him.

"Captain's override required." The somehow feminine monotone voice responded over the too-loud music.

"Fuck me." Liv muttered, dropping her head against the tiled wall.

"Please repeat request." The stupid monotone answered.

"Computer, turn water on, 32 degrees." She growled. She reached for her shampoo as the water turned on. The instant the spray, which was ice cold, hit her Liv screamed. Leaping backward she cried, "Computer, water to 32 degrees!"

"Water temperature is at 32 degrees Fahrenheit." The computer replied.

"Celsius!" Liv yelled. "The default temperature measurements is Celsius for housing temperature control!"

"The default settings were changed."

Liv closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, fighting to keep her cool. Letting Jim know he'd gotten to her wouldn't work. She'd have to pay him back in kind, and to do so she needed to remain calm. "Fine. Please change it back to Celsius and turn the water to 32 degrees _Celsius_."

"Understood." The water warmed instantly, the deliciously hot water striking her ice-cold skin. Liv yelped in pain and stumbled out of the shower stall.

"Oww, oww, OWW!" Glancing down at her chest and right side she saw the pale skin there turning pink. "Jim is so dead." Hesitantly she stepped under the warm water, her mind already plotting her revenge.

Blake met her at her door, his big green eyes sweet and hopeful. "You'll let me eat with you, right?"

Immediately the tension in her shoulders disappeared and Liv relaxed as memories from so long ago welled up in her head.

_She walked alone down the hall toward the lunch room, Liv was hungry but she didn't rush like her peers did, like her twin did. Jim could yoink food from anyone, but not Liv. Liv wasn't good with the other kids, especially the boys, they made her nervous._

"_Hi." Said a soft, boys voice from behind her._

_Liv spun immediately, on reflex, and flinched away, expecting a blow. When she felt nothing she opened her eyes, shy and nervous. The boy was taller than her, which wasn't hard but he seemed just as nervous her. He was not just tall, but he was built for a twelve year old, his limbs already showing more definition than Jim's. He scared her. "Hi." She answered all the same._

_His big green eyes brightened very slightly when he smiled, but they were dark, hurt, and broken. His eyes looked a lot like hers. "Can I walk with you?" He asked, nodding toward the lunchroom, "and maybe eat with you? I don't know anyone."_

_Liv shrugged. "I can't stop you." She muttered defensively, why was he bothering with her? He was sort of cute, the other girls would let him sit with them… "But I'm not gonna eat lunch."_

_The boy lifted his brown paper bag. "I have a lot. I think my Aunt thinks I'm a black hole." He smiled shyly. "I'll share with you."_

_Liv wasn't comfortable with him, but hey, food was food. And she was starving. "Sure." She said softly, turning to lead the way._

She took her friend's arm and pulled him close as they strode toward the mess hall. "Always." Had she looked at him she would have seen the sweet, reminiscing smile and the determination in his eyes. Instead she led him through the halls to the Mess.

0545 Hours

Leonard slept soundly, looking, for all the world a much more innocent, sweet man. His face was relaxed in sleep and while his jaw was covered with scruff and his hair tousled any sane woman would have said he looked very dashing. However there was no woman in his rooms to think such a thing about the good Doctor. He was alone, as usual.

His usual alarm, which was set to go off at 0500 Hours so he might be early to Alpha shift (to check files, charts, and the daily necessities), had a soft, gentle bird song file to go along with it, to ensure that al least part of his day was tranquil. It was not, however, his usual alarm that went off.

Leonard woke with a yelp, sitting upright, as music, set painfully loud, blared through his quarters. And as if to add insult to injury it wasn't even GOOD music, it sounded like an 1980's boy-band sort of song. 'I'm Doctor Love. You could call me the love doctor, Imma make you better. Sometimes pain is a pleasure, lay down on the stretcher."

Leonard cursed loudly. "GODDAMN IT JIM!" He yelled, letting himself fall back onto his bed. "Computer, give me the time and turn that damned music off." He snarled.

"Time is 05:45 hours. To turn the music off requires a Captain's override." The computer chirped.

"I am going to kill that kid." Leonard snarled and then his eyes widened. "Computer, repeat the time."

"05:45 hours"

"SHIT!" Leonard roared, leaping off his bed and forward the shower. If he showered quickly then he should be fine, as long as he skipped breakfast.

The shower was blessedly hot, forcing him awake and helping calm him just a little before he had to face the crew again. He loved his job, really he did, but Jim and some of the other crewmembers were a real trial. He stepped from the shower and picked up his razor, he didn't really have time but he didn't like looking like he had the day he met Jim, not at work. It reminded him a little too much of Jocelyn.

"Computer, time." He snarled as he wiped his face clean and forced his head into his uniform undershirt.

"06:10 Hours" He was late.

"Fuck." He snarled. "Fuck all." He grabbed his blue shirt. "Computer, make a cup of coffee, black with no sugar."

"Captain override required." The computer replied as he tugged on his shirt.

"I am going to kill that kid." He snarled, storming from his room.

Twenty minutes later the door whooshed open and Leonard knew his new PA had arrived. "Doctor McCoy?" Called the feminine voice that was surprisingly like Jim's in cadence.

"What'dya want?" He growled. "Some of us are working." It wasn't particularly nice, to greet her like that, however he was never nice. And given his morning he was more cantankerous than usual.

The petite blonde walked into his office, where he was hunkered over a PADD, and set a large mug of coffee on his desk. "Jim admitted to giving you the same morning he gave me, an mentioned how he disabled your replicator. I thought you could use a pick-me up." With that she walked away, greeting the Alpha shift nurses and apparently getting settled.

Leonard looked at the mug of coffee. It was black. He took a tentative sip, it was hot -but not so hot he burned his tongue- and had absolutely no sugar. He glanced up at Jim's twin a second time. Damn it, now he felt like a real asshole, and that, of course, only made him more cantankerous.

0610 Hours

Liv sat beside her twin with a dark glare. "You are, without a doubt, the most evil brother EVER!" She snapped angrily, her hand snaking out to steal the apple and cream cheese covered bagel from his plate.

"That's mine!" He yelped, annoyed. Blake snickered from her other side, setting a huge mug of coffee before her.

"No, now it's mine because you turned HENIOUS music on as my alarm, set the alarm back twenty minutes, AND messed with my temperature settings in the shower." Liv snapped, biting into the bagel and humming in pleasure. _Ohhh, blueberry._ She thought happily.

Jim snickered. "You should have seen what I did to Bones."

Liv swallowed. "Bones?"

"The CMO, remember?" Blake added, popping a grape into his mouth. "Sexy Southern Drawl, likes SoCo, you met him in the bar…"

Liv rolled her eyes. "Yea, I remember him. But his name is Leonard, right?"

Jim shook his head. "Nope, it's Bones."

The equally petite blonde Ship's Counselor, Chris, sat across from Liv. She smiled. "I'm sure you know this about Jim, but he has a habit of giving people nicknames." She gave Liv a curious look. "In fact, how did you avoid that?"

Liv smiled a very feral smile. "Jim knows if he DARES used the nickname he made up for me when we were kids he will wake bald with bright pink skin."

From beside her Jim looked terrified. "I'll be good, I swear."

Taking another bite of her bagel Liv watched as the table began to fill. Jim laughed, teased, flirted and was totally at home. And while she knew he was always hurting a little bit it was at a minimum, there, surrounded by his friends. She envied him a little. On her third bite of the bagel she had a sudden thought. _Jim hates blueberry._

With a soft sigh she tossed away her plans for vengeance. He'd remembered her favorite breakfast foods, even though they hadn't had a breakfast together since their senior year of high school. Gulping down her coffee, which was still slightly too hot Liv stood. "I'm gonna grab a second mug and head to Sick Bay. Try not to need to see me until after shift, okay Jim?"

"You never drink two cups." Blake murmured as she leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"Yea, well maybe it's not for me." Liv murmured, smiling very slightly at her best friend. "Have a good day." Ruffling Jim's curls she strode off, loving the sound of her twin's laugh behind her. Okay, maybe the day hadn't gone to hell after all.

At exactly 0630 hours Liv walked into the sick bay, coffee in hand. 'Bones' was clearly a nickname set aside for friends and she was NOT his friend. Indeed she had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't even remember meeting her in the bar, let alone the dance or the kiss, so calling him 'Bones' might not go over very well.

"Doctor McCoy?" She called, realizing he was no where in sight.

"What'dya want?" Came a rough growl from in his office, the frosted glass hiding him from view. "Some of us are working!" He defiantly didn't remember her then, it made her feel a little cold, having been forgotten. But, she reminded herself, he was totally drunk when they'd met.

Gathering her courage she headed into the office. Dark hair fell into his eyes as he bowed his head over a PADD, his jaw was clean-shaven but tightened slightly in anger or annoyance. Yea, Jim was an ass for pranking the poor man so damn early in the morning. Gently she set the mug down by his hand and offered him a very soft smile. "Jim admitted to giving you the same morning he gave me, and mentioned how he disabled your replicator. I thought you could use a pick-me up."

Unfortunately her courage, which wavered pretty frequently when men were concerned (especially angry/annoyed men), failed her and she turned and fled the room before he had the chance to respond. _GOD! How am I supposed to get to know my boss if he's always drunk or angry? I'll never be able to stand and have a decent conversation with him!_

The door hissed open and in walked three nurses, all dressed in the white of non-officer medical staff. One, clearly in charge simply by the way she stood and walked, met Liv's eyes and smiled warmly. Immediately Liv felt herself relax under the eyes of the older, maternal woman.

"Hello Dear, I'm Christine Chapel. You're Samantha?" She asked sweetly, offering Liv her hand.

Liv took the warm, slightly weathered hand and shook it. Christine had a firm grip, no nonsense but gentle, exactly as a doctor should. "It's Liv, actually. I don't ever use Samantha, or any variation on it."

Christine nodded, releasing Liv's hand to motion to her colleagues. "This is Nurse Amanda," the woman was perhaps 30 with dark hair and a sugary sweet smile, "and Nurse Moria." Moria was older, closer to 45 Liv guessed, with pale blonde hair.

"Nice to meet cha." Liv greeted. "I hope I won't be too in the way as I try to settle in."

Christine shook her head. "Oh no, you'll be fine, I'm sure. Just don't let Doctor McCoy make you uncomfortable, he's a grumpy sort of man but he's a good man."

Liv smiled tightly. "Yea, no biggie." She lied smoothly. _Okay, relax Liv._ She coached herself. _He'll warm up a little and you'll get used to him. You knew eventually you'd have to handle people who don't play well with others._ _You can do it._

But no matter how much she coached herself, she didn't quite believe it. Grumpy people reminded her of Frank and Sam, her step-fathers, which reminded her of pain and fear and immediately made her shut down. Maybe Jim having her transferred to the _Enterprise_ was a bad idea…

0825 Hours

It was a fairly quiet morning for nearly two hours. Leonard finished his supply check, covered the basic patient files for the day (five crewmembers required vaccine updates, one required a post operation check-up from the Pirate/Klingon incident, and four required the Medical okay to return to duty), and finished his mug of coffee. In fact he was being very productive and that helped boost his mood. The nurses restocked all the stations and Kirk, under the eye of his trusted Nurse Chapel, got a feel for the Sick Bay.

"Kirk!" He called, seeing that the short blonde had finished her self-guided tour.

She walked into his office, eyes unsure. "Yes Doctor McCoy?"

He tossed her a PADD, which she caught with an ease she clearly shared with Jim. "These are today's cases. Take the next thirty minutes to get to know them. Our first appointment is at 0900 hours."

"Okay, I'll be ready." She said, retreating from his office rather quickly. Leonard blinked, surprised. He'd been practically NICE to her and she ran away… Yea, he wasn't ever 'nice' per say but still, usually people didn't run from him.

He glanced around. He had nothing pressing for the next few minutes… Standing he walked to his office doorway and leaned against the metal. Immediately his eyes found Livine Kirk and he took a few moments to really LOOK at her, critically.

Kirk had the dusky, golden blonde hair that Jim had, her eyes were the same bright, deep blue, and even her jaw had the same angular lines. She would never be the classical beauty Chris was, delicate and feminine. But she had a different attractiveness that even Leonard had to admit to. She was striking, her cheeks high and her jaw angular, her eyes bright and focused, just like Jim. He imagined that when she walked into a bar men paid attention, they didn't stare like when Chris walked in, but they noticed her.

She glanced up and her eyes met his for a moment, wide and startled. The look made a memory float up, unbidden, to the surface of his mind.

_Soft slow music drifted around him. His mind was sluggish and his body comfortably warm. His arms were wrapped around a slender, attractive woman whose small hands rested on his shoulders, the fingers of one resting on the nape of his neck. Her eyes, big and beautiful, stared up at him in surprise._

"_Your eyes, they're Bleed-Me-Blue." He slurred._

His vision cleared as the memory disappeared, the sound of the music in his mind being replaced by the sound of chaos. What the FUCK?!

"Engineering to Sick Bay!" Yelled a voice from the Comm, "We have a major problem here!" He didn't recognize the voice but he didn't know may of the Engineers so that didn't amount to much.

"On our way!" He barked before snapping his eyes to Liv. "Come on Kirk, time to get your feet wet." She was already grabbing the two portable first aide kits, throwing him one.

"Way ahead of you Doc." She chirped, passing him to reach the door. Suddenly, he noticed, she was totally at ease with him- confidant, bold, witty- when she met his eyes he noticed hers were bright and focused. Maybe this was why she was a medical professional…

AN: Okay, I could have gone longer but I'll finish this situation next chapter. I just wanted to post today and God knows if I don't post now I'll not post until NEXT Tuesday. Homecoming Week is keeping me running. I'm up at 6 am and in bed by 1 am, if I'm lucky. And I'm on campus for about 12 hours a day plus 2 hours commute. But it'll settle down Saturday, after the game against Louisville. UTES FOREVER!

Review = Preview!

Ciao!


	5. It's a Kirk Thing

AN: Homecoming week, then sick for an entire week, plus exams spanning those two weeks and the next, then a week long break but I was studying, catching up on what I missed, and readying for yet ANOTHER exam. But I have, hopefully, found my balance, gotten caught up, and resurrected my dead inspiration wolf and she is gaining strength. Forgive me my loves!

0835 Hours

Liv tore through the decks, hot on Dr. McCoy's heels, to Engineering. Her heart raced, her blood pounded in her veins so loud she could hardly hear anything else. Adrenaline junkie that she was, she couldn't have been happier or more relaxed. They skidded to a stop just outside a pair of large double doors that didn't open after sensing their presence (as most doors did).

"McCoy to Engineering. LET ME IN!" McCoy snarled into his comm. Almost instantly the door hissed open and Liv was engulfed in a billow of steam. Pure chaos met her bright blue eyes; she smiled very slightly as her heartbeat accelerated, her pupils dialated, her entire body revving up for the challenge- but her breathing didn't speed up and panic didn't set in. Chaos, fear, panic, this was her element - she was in charge here.

1057 Hours

Liv didn't glance up as McCoy entered the Sickbay, his gait definite and steady. "How's he doing?" He growled in question. The tone not bothering her in the slightest as her mind was almost completely on the task at hand.

"He's gonna be fine. Not even a scar to impress the ladies." She teased, keeping her eyes on the head Engineer's face as she tended the mostly superficial steam scars.

"Ah asked fer her ta leave meh aht least one. Da lassie jus' laughed at meh." The Scottish man complained good-naturedly.

Liv swatted his unbruised shoulder. "Sit still or I'll leave you unable to smile properly." She threatened. With her free hand she motioned toward her brother, who was waiting on a biobed. "You wanna torture my twin or should I?"

She wasn't looking at the cantankerous southern man but she swore she could hear the slight smile. "I think I'll handle Jim, give him a little payback."

"Get him good for me." She quipped quietly, causing Scotty to smile slightly.

"Da Captain do somthin' naugh'y?" He asked teasingly.

"Jimmy is big on pranks. He got both McCoy and I this morning." She admitted, "Unfortunately his taste in music sucks, so my wake up call was absolutely abhorrent."

Scotty just laughed. "What song, did he wake yer with?"

Liv sighed and smiled before singing softly. "You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both up. You put the lime in the coconut and call my in the morning." She snickered when Jim's pained yelp interrupted her singing. "What sucks is he didn't even choose my favorite old Doctor song."

"Ahn' wh't is dat, Lassie." Scotty asked, smiling teasingly.

Liv blushed and smiled brightly. "'Bad Case of Loving You'. I prefer the Emerson Hart version."

Another pained yelp sounded from the biobed where Jim lay. "Livie, SAVE ME!" Her twin begged.

"Damn it JIM! Stop being such an infant! It's just a hypo." McCoy growled.

"Give me a sec." Liv murmured to Scotty, turning to snatch up a hypo. She rounded on Bones and schooled her face into a mask of annoyance. "Doctor! You seriously need to work on you're bedside manner." Gasps from the nurses nearly shattered her mask and the look of surprised anger from McCoy almost made her smile. Jim leapt toward her, attempting to hide behind her when Liv spun and pressed the hypo into his neck.

"Livie!" Jim exclaimed before leaping backward, toward McCoy. The mild sedative kicked in and Jim sagged. McCoy caught her twin as his knees went out.

"Jimmy," Liv said gently, "you're acting like a little girl." She promptly turned on her heel and returned to Scotty.

The Scot laughed softly. "No patience today, Lassie?"

Liv shrugged. "I'd of stayed out of it if he hadn't pranked me this morning."

Thanks to Livine, Leonard easily handled Jim's mostly superficial injuries in no time flat. The kid usually squirmed, bitched, and moaned but the mild sedative Liv had sneakily administered quieted him down. That soothed Leonard's temper. He was running way behind and his hand ached each time he moved it because of a second degree steam burn.

Finishing with Jim, Leonard turned to Livine, ready to snap at her to hurry up with Scotty. To his surprise she was no longer with the Engineer; and the Engineer was already gone. Livine had their charts in her hands and was speaking softly but firmly to the patients.

"Livine." Leonard barked. He watched her tense before turning slowly to face him. Her blue eyes were clearly nervous, almost frightened; Leonard felt his stomach tighten. He didn't want her afraid of him so he did something he almost never did… he complimented her. Gentling his voice slightly he growled. "Good job, if you could have our physical patients in the two exam rooms and start with them I'll get these idiots the okay to return to work."

Leonard watched her shoulders relax. She nodded. "Sure Doc." She turned to the two Ensigns. "You heard Doc. McCoy, come on boys."

He took the charts Chapel handed him and ignored her slight, knowing smile. "You're a real gentleman under that gruff, aren't you Doctor?" She asked him quietly, herding the patients to the biobeds.

Forty minutes later, once he finished signing the return to work wavers he turned back to the two exam rooms to see Livine leaning against the wall between the two doors, writing on the chart-PADDs with the stylus. He started toward her and she glanced up.

"Ensign Trevor Bromley, male, age twenty nine." Livine said, handing him the first PADD. "Temperature normal, 38.6* C; blood pressure healthy, 100 over 148; reflexes normal; blood chemistry perfect; you name it, man's fit as a fiddle."

Leonard scanned down the file, checking her results, nodding. The girl was good, damn good. Her exam was through, her report detailed but concise; it was as good as his own. Save for two things… "Prostate and Testicular exams?"

She smiled up at him sweetly. "That's all you Doctor McCoy. These boys would be MUCH more comfortable with you doing that than me." Before he could snap at her she winked and slipped into the second exam room.

1957 Hours

Liv groaned and placed her head on Blake's shoulder. "It's been a helluva day." Blake chuckled and patted her hand. "First my confidence shatters when McCoy is a little gruff, and then he tries to be nice and I'm still so damned skittish I can't interact with him."

Blake offered her a spoonful of his chocolate ice cream. "And then Engineering exploded." He added while she leaned forward and took the treat, even though it never tasted right when replicated.

"Yup," she said nodding. "But that was a good thing. Helped my confidence a ton. You know me and a medical crisis."

Blake nodded, licking the spoon. "You totally relax and take charge. Never understood why though."

Liv sat up and took a sip of her mint tea before explaining. "Sammy Kirk was abused, beaten, pathetic. She had no confidence, no control, nothing. But she also had nothing to do with medicine. When I can focus of the medicine, when I can just… think, I can distance myself from those old feelings. I can relax and be myself."

Blake smiled a particularly sweet smile at her. "You were never Sammy Kirk to me." He told her. And then he ruined the mood by offering her the ice cream. "You want it? I'm now absolutely sure that guy over there is straight. He's been looking our way for a while but nothing I've done had gotten him to focus on ME."

The old game didn't kill the warm feeling of love and acceptance that had taken root in her chest, indeed it only fed the fire. Liv giggled and stole the spoon and bowl. "Watch a master." She scooped up a large spoonful of the dark, cold cream and proceeded to eat it.

Ten minutes later the bowl was empty and Liv was just licking the last of the ice cream from the spoon, her lips curled into a self-satisfied smirk.

"I hate you." Blake muttered, his head on the table. "Good God woman, I'm gay and I would have said yes if you'd offered me a blow job."

Liv shrugged, trying to school her face into a more neutral expression. "What can I say, I'm a Kirk."

A large, calloused hand stole the bowl from her the instant she relinguished the spoon and set it in said bowl. Liv looked up and nearly yelped when she saw the grey-green eyes of her CMO. "That proves it, you are most defiantly a Kirk. You nearly had me fooled." He drawled.

Blake immediately looked up and leapt to her defense. "She was trying to show me how to do it."

Leonard offered a wry grin. "No one can flirt or tease like a Kirk. I'm thinking it might be genetic." He gave her a sharp look. "Next time either eat it normally or don't have ice cream. You startled one poor kid enough that he spilled his hot coffee all down his front."

Liv would have taken it as a reprimand but there was a very slight grin to those lovely, if jaded eyes. Besides, with Blake beside her and the confidence from her last exhibition, Liv felt almost bold in front of the mostly strange man. "What, no effect on you?" She asked playfully.

Those jaded eyes rolled. "You couldn't affect me like that, kiddo."

Liv fought a knowing grin and a smart-mouthed reply. Instead she began humming an old song she'd looked up the day after she met him in the bar, 'Bleed-me-Blue'.

Leonard didn't like lying but he couldn't admit to his PA, to his best friend's twin, that he had been practically rock hard before he'd forced himself to look away. She began humming an old song he very much liked, 'Bleed-me-Blue', and smiled in a knowing sort of way.

'_You're eyes,'_ said a memory of his voice, floating up in his mind, _'they're Bleed-me-Blue'_. With a jolt he realized it had, indeed, happened and she was his dance partner. Fighting a blush, he forced himself not to react and turned to hand in her dish. As he walked away he called over his shoulder. "Busy day tomorrow, don't be late Kirk."

"I'm never late, Doctor." She called back.

2258 – September 10th 1200 Hours

Leonard did not believe in eavesdropping but, on his return from the replicator during his lunch break, he could not help but overhear Liv's voice coming from one of the empty exam rooms. Curious he wandered to said door, which was opened a crack, and leaned against the wall for only a moment.

"… and then the Engineering department had a huge problem and a small series of explosions. So we had to run down there instead of see our scheduled patients." He heard Livine say. "When the door opened a HUGE cloud of steam billowed out and swallowed us."

"Was it scary?" Asked a broken up, slightly computerized, child-like voice.

"Not really." Liv answered and Leonard swore he could hear the smile he knew she had to be wearing. "It was sort of fun. But it WAS really hot and sticky, because of all the steam."

"Is everyone okay?" Asked the voice, defiantly a little girl's voice. "Did you save them all, Livie?" Joanna asked him that when he told her about a few of his experiences only a few days ago…

"Yes, everyone is okay. But I didn't save them all, Joey, I helped save them. My boss, Doctor McCoy, is very good. HE saved everyone." Liv answered with a little laugh.

"Is he hott?" Asked 'Joey'.

Liv spluttered and Leonard felt his face flush slightly. "You're way to young to ask those sorts of questions girl. WAY to young."

"I'm eight now!" Protested the child, "I'm not a baby anymore." Joanna would say the exact same thing…

"I know kiddo, I know. But still, you need to be…" Livine hesitated and Leonard fought a grin, just in case anyone walked in. "twelve, before you can ask those sorts of questions. But to answer the question, yes, I suppose he's good looking. He has very pretty eyes, a lot like yours."

Leonard couldn't kill the slight blush that burned his cheeks, not the embarrassment that burned in his gut. He shouldn't be eavesdropping. He scolded himself, pushing away from the wall. Distantly he heard, "Love you 'Ivie." From the little girl on the other end, which was somehow a very familiar nickname…

"Love you too Joey-baby. Talk to you tomorrow." Livine answered. Leonard heard the distinct click of a personal inter-space comm closing and slid into his office.

When he heard the exam room door close he called out. "Talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, Kirk. I can handle that in my Captain, but I can't have than in you."

There was a soft laugh and Livine stepped into his office, siling brightly and more relaxed than he had yet to see her. "That was my girl, Joey. We have a running date to talk, every day at 1130 hours, when her Mom isn't around." She smiled playfully. "I'm not crazy, not much anyway." She said.

"Good. Jim's crazy enough for the two of you." Leonard muttered, lifting a PADD to review. "We're still going to be busy this afternoon, Kirk. You can keep up, right?"

The question was a little rude, Leonard knew, but he didn't much care. He had to know if she could hack it, because if not he had to request a transfer before they passed Starbase Orion in two days.

"No worries Doctor." Livine said simply, finishing up her drink. "I'll pull my own weight, and unlike my twin I won't cause as many problems as I solve."

Leonard fought a smile. Someone he could mock Jim with… maybe he could get used to Livine Kirk. "Two of our patients from yesterday are coming in this afternoon, too." He added as she turned to walk from his office. "I'm hoping you can handle them."

He distinctly heard her mutter a few very choice words. Oh yes… he could get used to Samantha Livine Kirk. She might not always meet his eyes, and she might skitter out of rooms when alone with him as soon as she could, but she also made him want to laugh. Which, for Leonard, was a rare gift.

AN: Love it? Hate it? Finally understand why Livie has her weird little mood swings? This wasn't dark but it'll get darker next chapter, a lot darker. Hope it doesn't bother anyone.

All my love. And Remember review = preview!!!

Ciao!


	6. Demons in the Night

AN: The inspiration wolf is doing better…

2258 – September 26th Some time in the very, VERY early morning

Livine Kirk lay in her bed, beautiful and delicate as she slept. She lay on her stomach, head cradled in her crooked arm, pillow on the floor, other arm tossed across the bed as if covering an invisible lover. She looked peaceful. Nothing in her appearance would have made even the most studious observer think she was less than at peace. If only her dreams matched her appearance.

_Sammie fought the overwhelming terror as Frank bore down on her, his longer legs giving him the advantage as they ran. Jimmy wasn't home yet. He had detention. So no one was around to help her. No one could save her. Her lungs burned as she tore through her Mother's house, skidding on the beautiful hardwood flooring._

_Frank was cursing, yelling, threatening. She didn't even know what she had done wrong this time. All she'd done was return home from school. She hadn't even made it to the living room before Frank had yelled. Sammie took a flying leap over the couch, landed on the wooden coffee table, and skidded along its shining surface. Frank's bottle of beer went flying._

_The end of the table was so close… so very close. And just beyond it the back door, leading out to the corn fields where she could hide until Frank became bored of hunting for her. She was almost to safety- to as much safety as she would ever find. A strong, frighteningly familiar hand closed painfully on her shoulder._

_Suddenly Sammie was no longer sliding, she was flying. She hit the wall with an all to familiar, painful thud and a sharp crack. Not daring to cry out she whimpered softly, knowing that if she cried the punishment would only be worse, now Frank had caught her. She should just let it happen._

_The floor rushed up to meet her (or did she rush down to meet it?) and her head bounced on the hardwood. With a near silent groan Sammie rolled onto her back to look at the ceiling. A leg swung at her, a black boot connected with her side. She felt her ribs protest but not break, not this time. Another kick knocked her back against the wall and forced her to curl onto her side, exposing her tender stomach._

_But a third kick never came, to Sammie's relief. Instead a strong hand closed around her long, glossy blonde hair and lifted her clean off the floor. She couldn't help it, she cried out, reaching up for the offending hand to hang from, if only to make the burning in her head stop._

"_Please," she cried, "please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it." A fist hit her stomach, knocking the wind from her lungs and forcing her to swing backward hen forward by her hair. "Please Frank." She begged. "Please stop it. I'm sorry. I learned my lesson." She wheezed._

_But nothing appeased the violent, drunk man who was her 'Daddy'. He continued to beat her, adding bruises to her already bruised little body. It wasn't like the times before. It wasn't like the usual beatings. It was worse, so much worse. _

_As she took the beating, crying out only when it was too much to take, Sammie forced her ten-year-old mind to focus. Frank was going to get it. He was going to lose something he loved very much, because Sammie had officially had enough. No one would listen, no one would help. But she was done begging for help, done trusting on the goodness of others._

Liv woke with a soft, muffled cry of pain and fear, her whole body jolting violently. She tried to calm her breathing, remind herself that she wasn't Sammie Kirk anymore, but the terror and the pain held her as firmly as if she were ten once more.

Warm arms wrapped around her and held her gently, a soft, familiar voice murmured to her. "Shhh, shh Livie I'm here. I'm here. No one will hurt you again."

With a pathetic little cry Liv pressed her face to her twin's cotton clad chest and she wrapped her arms around his firm torso. "How did you know?" She whispered. They weren't little kids who shared a bedroom wall, he was a floor below her and they were aboard a starship. He couldn't have heard her.

"I always know when you have nightmares." Jim murmured, rubbing her back just like he had when they were kids. "Even when I was on this damned ship and you were on Earth, so far away."

It should have been weird, curling up with her brother and falling asleep half atop of him, and probably was to everyone else. But Livie and Jim weren't normal and weird was relative. They weren't ten anymore but still they found comfort with each other, curled up together as they always had been. Liv sighed and let her eyes drift shut. With Jim beside her the nightmares wouldn't return, they never did, because they never came when she was safe. And she was always safe with Jim.

"You have them a lot." Jim murmured, Liv knew he was drifting toward sleep too, just from the sound of his voice.

"Every night." Liv murmured in answer.

"Tonight was worse." Jim observed. "Which one?" He asked.

"Frank. Just before the Corvette." She answered. Jim traced his finger down the scar along her right upper arm, the one she got during that beating. Liv nodded, affirming that he was correct.

"He'll never touch you again." Jim promised again, now mostly asleep, exactly as he had on that fateful evening, when he'd returned home to find her half-dead. Liv said nothing, letting herself follow Jim into the darkness of sleep. They weren't normal, but Liv didn't give a flying fuck. At least she was _safe_.

0600 Hours

Leonard was officially annoyed and completely stumped. He had absolutely no idea where Jim was. The kid had skirted his physical the day before and it was highly annoying Leonard to have to track him down. Even worse, the kid wasn't in his quarters, the mess, the bridge, or even Uhura's quarters (and she'd been mighty angry when he'd woken her up fifteen minutes earlier).

Annoyance made Leonard even more waspish than usual, thus as he stormed down the corridor to Livine Kirk's quarters- hoping she had seen or heard from her twin- the crew who roamed the halls deliberately seemed to avoid him. On better days it would amuse him. Given his mood it just pissed him off further.

Leonard reached Kirk's quarters and had lifted a hand to press the call button when the door opened and a body walked directly into his, throwing his balance backward. "Damn it all." Leonard snarled, catching himself and straightening up to glare at Livine. Except it wasn't her he was staring at.

Jim stood bleary eyes in his twin's door, wearing his pajamas, still looking rumpled enough that one would believe he was actually sleep walking. "Mornin' Bones." Jim mumbled, killing that line of thought, rubbing his already rumpled hair. "What cha doin' here?"

From inside the room Leonard could hear music playing and a soft voice singing along just above the sound of running water. Blanching, Leonard stepped backward, his mind reeling. "What am I doing here?" Leonard snapped. "What are you doing, walking out of your twin's bedroom in the morning, looking like you slept here?!"

Jim just grinned lazily but bitterly. "I did sleep here." He muttered before pushing past Leonard. "And she's my sister, I'm allowed to be here, no matter the time. Unless she's getting laid, which has like, never happened for her, poor thing. She's a little skittish sometimes." Jim rambled when exhausted and annoyed… who knew?

But Leonard didn't care. "Damn it Jim! I don't need to know that about your sister!" It was however quite curious that the younger Kirk was still innocent in some way, given her ability (clearly a Kirk trait because Jim was just as adept) to get the attention of sexual creature in a given space. "And I was looking for you! You skipped your physical yesterday."

Jim shrugged, stepping into the turbolift. "I was busy."

"You're coming in today for the physical." Leonard ordered.

Jim shook his head, smirking. "Sorry Bones. I'm gonna be busy today… and every day, for the next few weeks."

The turbolift doors closed in Leonard's face as he snapped "Damn it, Jim!" With a growl he turned on his heel and headed back to Kirk's quarters. If Jim was going to be evasive he'd just get it out of Livie.

Leonard rang the call button on the blonde's door. "Coming!" He heard yelled from behind the door. "Give me a sec!" The door woshed open a few moments later, revealing Livine in a large, fluffy robe that was so long it trailed on the floor and made her look rather like an old Earth Eskimo. Her eyes widened and her cheeks reddened into a dark blush. "Doctor, what can I do for you?"

"What the hell was Jim doing here all night?" Leonard more growled than asked, glaring down his nose at the small blonde. "I spent over thirty minutes trying to find his ass this morning."

Livine's blush immediately reversed as she paled. "I do not have to explain myself, my brother, or our actions to you Doctor." She snapped. "I'll see you in thirty minutes in Sick Bay." The door snapped shut so fast Leonard wondered if it had a 'slam' function built into it.

"Damn it all!" He snapped, turning on his heel and heading to the Sick Bay. Now he was running late, hungry, annoyed, still without Jim's physical in hand, AND angry at his assistant. It was shaping up to be a rather shitty day.

Forty minutes Jim stormed into the Sick Bay and straight into His office. Leonard couldn't help but smirk a rather self-satisfied smirk. He'd placed a call in to Spock and informed him of the Captain's lack of appearance for his physical. Apparently Jim had taken ten minutes arguing with Spock only to lose.

"You are a real ass." Jim growled at him, making Leonard smirk just a little more.

"Jim, stop being an infant. It's just a physical." He reasoned, leaning back slightly in his chair.

Jim's eyes darkened. "That is NOT what I'm pissed about, it's just the final straw." Leonard felt a rush of confusion. What had he done? Damn it he put up with the kid's shit, was his best friend, and always supported him (unless he was totally crazy). "How COULD you? You have no RIGHT to do what you did!"

Leonard fought the urge to immediately leap to his own defense. "I don't know what you're rambling about Jim." He informed his best friend as calmly as he could but he could hear his accent getting stronger with his anger and annoyance.

"You harassing LIV!" Jim snapped, his voice harsh but not loud. "She's my twin damn it! What we do and don't do is none of your god-damned business!"

Leonard fought a mild shudder. He'd known Jim was messed up but damn… was their child so fucked up that they'd resorted to THAT to feel loved?! "Jim, you love her but SLEEPING with your twin is NOT right."

Jim's eyes darkened, nearly black in his rage. Leonard had only seen the Kid's eyes go that dark. It was right before he attacked and nearly killed a civilian for insulting his father. "Livie has NIGHTMARES Bones." Jim growled, venomous and hateful. "So do I. You have absolutely no IDEA what hell we went through. If holding each other while we sleep keeps the monsters at bay then what the FUCK is wrong with that?"

Leonard opened his mouth to make a crude retort but his mind caught up with his mouth before he could. He snapped his mouth shut for a moment before asking, "Wait, what?"

Jim took a deep breath and shuddered, as if controlling his anger before saying rather calmly. "Livie and I went through hell. I spent the night because I woke up last night, in the middle of the night, knowing she needed me. I went to her room and curled up with her. What the hell did you THINK we did?"

Leonard blushed, suddenly realizing his mistake. "Oh, I…" He coughed nervously. "You both were so evasive about it and…"

Jim burst out laughing, his eyes going back to his usual bright blue. "You thought… Livie and me… EW BONES! That is so NASTY!"

Leonard flushed darker. "Well what did you expect me to think?"

Slowly Jim stopped laughing and relaxed back into his chair. "Bones… Liv and I have a weird relationship by most standards, we both know that. But… man… you've got to understand. She was my whole world for so long. I can't explain it, but when she's hurt, or upset, or scared… I just know. And most times we can function just fine, but… last night was bad, okay?"

"Sorry Jim." Bones murmured, feeling like a complete ass. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"No sweat Bones. Let's just say we're good. I'll get out of your hair." Jim was up and out of his seat and out of the office before Leonard realized Jim still needed his physical.

"JIM!" He roared, shoving his chair back and leaping to his feet.

Liv grinned when her twin raced out of Leonard's office. She'd felt his rage, his anger, his near hate. Happily her twin had managed to have the sense to keep the argument quiet enough that not all the nurses knew her dark little secrets. She wasn't sure how much Jim had told McCoy, but she figured it wouldn't be much. Jim, like herself, liked to keep their dark, terrible past as private as possible.

"Quick Jimmy." She said softly but urgently. "Hide in here, I'll tell him you went out the front door and you can sneak out." She held open an exam room door and Jim leapt in, hiding in the darkened room.

McCoy stumbled from his office looking livid and headed toward the doors. For a short moment Liv honestly considered letting him leave and sending her twin on his way. They both hated physicals. It meant strangers got to see their scared and battered bodies, they asked questions, questions best left unasked and unanswered.

She could have given her twin his physical. She'd seen his body enough times. They'd never been shy as kids, not with each other, but the prospect of giving him the prostate and testicular exams made her feel mildly ill. They were close. But not THAT close.

So she held out a hand to stop her boss and offered him a PADD, the one with Jim's file loaded on it. He looked at her quizzically and she nodded to the supposedly empty exam room. His furrowed brows lifted in surprise and he offered her a slight, almost gentle grin before opening the door and stepping into the room. Liv snickered as she heard her twin yelp out her name and a string of curses.

With a slight smile at the staring nurses she turned to return to cataloguing on-board vaccines, softly humming to herself, fighting to keep the memories dredged up by her nightmare at bay. With Jim out of sight, no matter how funny the situation, the memories kept floating back up, fresh as the day they were made.

"Do you like country?" Asked one of the nurses, Liv didn't really care which.

"Sure, what era?" Liv asked, glad for the intrusion.

"20th Century, it's really good." It was Nurse Chapel. Liv nodded, she could use some girl-power country song and there were a lot from that era. "This is called 'Alyssa Lies'" Chapel said, pressing a few buttons behind Liv somewhere.

Liv felt a thrill of cold through her body. Why was the song so damned familiar? And then the artist, a guy, began to sing. "Alyssa lies to the classroom. Alyssa lies everyday at school. Alyssa lies to the teacher, as she tries to cover every bruise."

With her back to the group she closed her eyes and took a series of deep, calming breaths, her hands curling into fists to prevent herself from running from the room or breaking down. _Replace Alyssa with Livie and you've got me._ She thought to herself, feeling her nails dig into her flesh, feeling the pain and the warm sticky drops of blood as she clenched just a little too hard.

"I told her Alyssa wouldn't be at school today. Cause she doesn't lie in the classroom, she doesn't lie anymore at school. Alyssa lies with Jesus. Because there's nothing anyone would do."

But for her, at least, there was someone who was willing to do something. It had nearly happened, but she had something this Alyssa clearly didn't. Livie had Jim. The door opened and Jim stepped out. She didn't watch him but she knew he was tipping his head to the side, listening to the music.

"Country? Turn this crap off. No one listens to sad country on MY ship. Happy country songs sure, I guess." He turned to McCoy. "You let them listen to this crap Bones?" Without waiting for a response he walked out with a distinct limp. But he hesitated at Liv, his hand on her arm, thumb rubbing gentle circles. "I'm gonna get you for that Livie." He teased, but his eyes- so like hers- were worried instead of playful.

"Oh, I'm so scared." She mocked back, easily falling into the old teasing. She offered a tiny smile and he nodded, releasing her.

"Good, them I'm getting the hell outta here before Bones decides I'm due for vaccines or something…"

AN: Livie and Jim are far from normal, and far from healthy. And nightmares and flashbacks will pop up a LOT. But hey, it got done quickly, right? I'm BACK BABY! Woot! Love and previews to those who review!!!

Ciao!

Oh and btw, the song was by Jason Michael Carroll. It's beautiful and REALLY sad. Look it up and be prepared to cry.


	7. A Little Bit of Fun is Good for the Soul

AN: Sigh, two chapters written in like 48 hours. The Wolf is back and she is better than ever! But remember, without your reviews she will starve to death. So review = PREVIEW! Show the Wolf how much you love her! And, as always, enjoy my Loves!

2258 – September 26th 2000 Hours

Liv sighed, curling herself up into a ball in her bed. She wasn't tired yet but she'd had enough of socializing. She enjoyed her job, and she loved being near Jim again, but it was emotionally exhausting, living on the _Enterprise_. She could handle being in a city. The men there were passing, strangers but she wasn't expected to socialize with them. She could return to her little apartment building and hide from the world. Her neighbors didn't know her, no one wanted a thing from her. There was no expectations of trust.

Living on the _Enterprise_ was different. Liv was expected to not only work closely with a bunch of men but live near them too. There was no escaping them. He saw them at breakfast, while she worked, at lunch, at dinner, in the rec rooms, in the training rooms, in the GARDENS. Her only escape was her tiny quarters, the small bedroom attached to the only slightly larger living room and a absolutely tiny bathroom.

Living with men required trust. Trust in herself and trust in them not to hurt her. Liv trusted herself. She could fight back if need be, she wasn't the pathetic weak little Sammie she had once been. But trusting the men around her… Liv wasn't sure she could bring herself to…

"Livie!" Interrupted Jim's voice from the Comm overhead. "Stop being an antisocial bitch. Come play with the senior bridge crew."

Liv sighed. "I dunno Jimmy." She was so sick of socializing.

"Liv," Jim murmured, his voice softening. "I know you had a terrible nightmare, I know it's hard. But… you'll never learn to trust my friends if you isolate yourself."

She didn't want to admit that he was right, that it would be the best way to solve her trust issues. "Jim, I don't really feel like it." If she was lucky he'd hear her reluctance and back off.

"Come play Liv." Jim said firmly but lovingly. "Play with my friends and I. See if you have fun. If not you don't have to play with us ever again."

She didn't bother holding back the suffered sigh. "Fine, fine." She agreed, knowing if she said no Jim would either drag her to the rec room or pout for days. "I'm calling Blake."

She could nearly hear Jim's smile. "Good, see you in ten. We're in Rec Room Three."

"Why do I bother?" Liv asked herself, though the comm link was already closed. There was no point in arguing with her twin. That much she knew. Grabbing a sweater, the Rec rooms were COLD, she headed out to fetch Blake.

Champagne in one hand and Blake in the other, Liv walked as calmly into the Rec room as she could. Thirteen chairs in a circle, all but three full of people Livie hardly knew. She smiled slightly, fighting back the urge to turn and run. Blake squeezed her hand very gently, making her glance up at him. He smiled very gently at her, leading her to the empty seat beside her grinning twin.

"Livie!" Jim half yelled, smiling brightly. "Bubbly?" He asked, glancing at the bottle she held. "You're so boring. I'll share my Fire Whiskey if you wanna have a bit more fun."

Liv slowly relaxed as Blake took the seat on her other side, giving her a protector on each side. She smiled at her twin in a slightly teasing way though she didn't quite feel it. "Jimmy, babe, I know how well you know me. There is no way I'll be drinking anything stronger than this. You'll get me plastered otherwise."

"But that's the fun of the game!" Jim insisted, laughing at himself. Liv didn't answer. Drunk for her didn't mean hiding from memories or relaxing. One stronger drink, or two lighter ones, made her less inhibited, more willing to throw herself out there with strangers. More than that and she began tweeking whenever touched and the memories came back stronger… She envied Jim in that regard. He could drink to forget. She couldn't.

_Besides_, she told herself, watching Jim pour himself and Leonard McCoy each a shot, _Someone needs to make sure he gets to his room safely. And someone needs to be NOT hung over tomorrow morning. _But… maybe she'd learn something about her new crewmates.

"I am so gonna win this time." Jim declared to the nearly assembled group. Liv noticed Chris was missing.

She snickered. "If you mean get the most drunk the fastest, then yes Jimmy, you will." She teased, loosening up a little more. Teasing Jim was easy, it was nearly second nature.

"HEY!" And he reacted so well… "I take insult to that! I'll have you know that I've got some great ones that will make everyone else drink this time." Jim bragged, tossing his arm over her shoulder.

"Who's the one who's least likely to get drunk?" Liv asked, her mind whirling. Maybe she could have a little fun with this after all…

"Chekov, Spock and Lily." The beautiful, willowy black woman (Uhura?) answered. "So damned innocent those three."

Liv snickered, glancing at the stoic Vulcan Science Officer. He was, ironically, not at all frightening to her. Vulcan's were all about logic so he'd never hurt her, it wouldn't be logical. "So two innocent guys and one innocent girl…" She shot her twin a look. "I'd bet, Jimmy boy, that we girls could, collectively, get all you guys far more drunk at the end of three rounds than you could get us."

Jim scoffed. "As if Livie. Spock is a total goodie goodie. He's almost a guaranteed win for us."

Liv sniffed and glanced at the other women, all of whom nodded very slightly and lifted their chairs. Liv snagged hers and stepped to the other girls, forming a wall facing the men. She smirked. "Oh my dearest Jimmy-boy," she teased, taking a seat as the door wooshed open and Chris joined them. "You might have Spock on your side," she taunted, knowing her brother's competitive streak, "but there's also YOU on your side. And I bet good money that the girls here will take less drinks, over all, than the men."

Liv watched McCoy motion for Jim to shut up, a nearly frantic waving of his hand at the lovable idiot. Jim ignored his best friend, as she knew he would. "That bet is on, Livie. But I'll do you one better. If I win all the guys on my team get a kiss from the girl of their choice on your team." Liv nearly rolled her eyes. So typical Jim, make everything about sex.

To Liv's surprise, and slight joy and excitement, Chris jumped into the game, grinning. Maybe this Chris was a girl after Liv's own heart? "You are so on." She teased Jim, dropping to the empty seat between Liv and the little girl who, as far as Liv could tell, was dating the cute Russian kid. "Jimmy-boy."

With a co-conspirator beside her and the men far enough away, and on the opposite team, Livie relaxed nearly completely. Slowly she smiled a playful, real smile, one she knew was particularly feisty and beautiful because it had gotten her into and out of tons of trouble in the past. "We'll even let you go first." She glanced down the line at the girls. "Right girls?" To her surprise and joy they laughed and nodded. A little bubble of something rather warm and pleasant rose in her chest- a feeling she'd associated with Blake and Jim in the past. Was this what it was like to have friends?

Leonard couldn't quite believe how a friendly, entertaining game turned into a team event. And he was CLEARLY on the loosing team. One round into the game and the guys had already had twenty odd drinks. And he'd only put forth four of those, unlike Jim… who was clearly well on his way to blacked-out drunk.

Why did he let the kid agree to a bet? A soft laugh caught his attention, forcing him to stop brooding and pay attention. Liv tipped her head back and laughed at Jim's second 'I've never' statement.

"What was that?" He asked, trying to figure out if he had to drink.

Jim grinned like a loon. "I took a leaf outta little Lily's book. I've never had someone eat me out."

Leonard snorted slightly. "Thank god for that." He muttered, taking a quick glance around. Among the women only Galia and Uhura drank. Well damn. His eyes flicked to Livine. _Come on_, he thought, _she's a Kirk. Surely she's like her brother in SOME ways…_ Livine didn't drink, just smiled slightly at the very tipsy Galia.

"Good God woman, what haven't you done?" Liv asked Leonard's green-skinned friend.

Galia giggled. "Not much."

Scotty sighed and lifted his glass. "I've nevah done anything with our Miss Galia."

Leonard snorted as Jim shoved Scotty. "Damn it, the goal is to get THEM drunk. You shoulda said you'd never done anythin' with me!"

"Oops." Muttered the Scot. But Leonard didn't miss the slightly hopeful look the European man shot Galia. Oh LORD, he thought, oh Lord now that is an interesting pair.

Jim and, only slightly surprisingly, Uhura drank. Leonard fought a blush and shoved the thought from his head, that was an… interesting mental image that he didn't need nor particularly want. But Jim and Scotty looked VERY interested. Leonard sighed as if suffering some great strain. Why was he putting up with the kids? He was the oldest man on board, oldest person except for two of his nursing staff, and instead of getting drunk in his nice, quiet quarters he was getting drunk listening to his friends try to one up each other's sexual escapades.

"I've never done anything with Jim." Sulu said, apparently taking Jim seriously (defiantly a first, no one EVER took the Kid 100% seriously).

Only Galia, Uhura, and Chris drank. Chris winked playfully at Jim. "Minty." They said in unison, laughing.

Leonard closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. He so did NOT need nor want to know.

"I haff newer had sex." Chekov said, blushing at his girlfriend. If it hadn't been such a Puppy-like look Leonard might have called it pathetic, instead it reminded him of the look Joanna sometimes gave him when she really wanted something, and he had to admit it was cute- if only to himself.

"Damn it Pavel!" Leonard growled, mildly annoyed at the thought of his daughter, which brought up the pain of her absence, and at having to drink AGAIN. "Make them drink, not us." Leonard drank his shot of Fire Whiskey, fighting an involuntary gasp as it burned on the way down. LORD it was damn good stuff. Jim, Scotty, Sulu, Blake, Uhura, Galia and Laura drank.

_Huh_… Leonard thought_. Maybe Jim wasn't bullshitting when he said Liv had never gotten laid_. Pouring himself another shot Leonard lifted his glass in a toast. "I've never been with- as in dated or slept with- someone younger than me." Jocelyn was two months his senior…

Jim scowled and drank. Scotty, Sulu, Blake, Spock, and Lily all followed suit. "He's not that young!" Lily insisted to a snickering Uhura, pointing at poor Pavel.

Blake reached over Leonard and patted Pavel's hand. "Trust me kid, ladies like younger men. We can keep going better." He winked and Leonard fought the urge to slap him. So NOT a mental image he needed, it just reminded him of Nick… "And I've never kissed, or done more with, anyone in this room."

"HEY!" Jim yelped. "Man you kissed me!"

Blake, beside Leonard, actually shuddered in disgust. "No, Jim, YOU kissed ME. And we were ten. And then I punched you."

Liv burst out laughed. "Oh GOD I remember than! It was the first time Jimmy met Blake! What a first impression, right?"

Jim pouted as everyone, even Leonard was not immune, laughed. "He was so damned cute! All tall and lanky with his curly black hair and green eyes! It's a wonder everyone didn't kiss him when they first met him." Jim muttered, defending himself, but he drank his shot.

Chekov, Spock, Uhura, Galia, Lily, Chris and Liv all drank. When she took a swig from her green bottle of Champaign Liv's bleed-me-blue eyes caught his and her cheeks turned a beautiful (yes he noticed, he's a man after all) crimson. He smirked and downed his shot, feeling a slight twinge of smug satisfaction at causing that blush and the shy look to those eyes. He had a feeling that she rarely graced anyone with a look that vulnerable.

Spock lifted his glass. "I have never believed in a Creator Deity." Leonard bit his tongue to refrain from making a comment on green-blooded hobgoblins, knowing Chris would tan his hide later. But he took a swig. Spock's eyes focused on him and Leonard fought the urge to squirm. "I am not surprised one as illogical as you, Doctor, suffers from such a delusion."

"Hey now!" Liv snapped, cutting off Leonard's harsh reply. "Just because he believes in a God doesn't make him illogical." She blushed as she realized everyone was staring at her. "Nevermind." She muttered, taking a drink from her bottle. "But don't diss on those who believe in something bigger than themselves. Science and Religion are NOT mutually exclusive."

Liv sighed as the game came to an end. She'd had fun, she'd actually had fun. It was… nice… weird… totally unexpected. Except for her little God outburst… and really it was hardly Spock's fault for being half-Vulcan and not believing in God… Nor was it her fault she believed that, without God, she'd never have made it through her childhood.

She glanced at her brother, who had migrated to sit next to McCoy. He was so drunk… She spared a glance for her boss, feeling slightly less nervous around him than she had twelve hours ago. He was flushed, his eyes slightly glassy. He was drunk. Very drunk, just like when they met. He was so drunk he might not even be fully able to walk… Hardly a threat.

With a suffered sigh Liv stood and wandered toward her twin and his friend. "Come on you two." She said gently, hauling her twin to his feet and draping his arm around her shoulder. Jim's familiar, warm weight pressed against her side, enveloping her in a familiar, comforting scent. She was _safe_.

Next she grabbed her boss's arm and pulled. He stumbled to his feet and swayed. "Bed, both of you." She said firmly, guiding them toward the door. McCoy stumbled and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady himself. Drunk as he was and enveloped as she was by Jim, the touch didn't make her panic. Instead she steadied both men and continued toward the turbolift.

Jim's quarters were the first they reached. Gently she helped McCoy lean against the wall so she could take care of Jim. Her twin she guided to his bed, made him sit down, removed his uniform shirt and under shirt, untied and pulled off his boots, and then made him lay down in bed on his stomach.

"Sleep well Jimmy." She murmured, finished the familiar ritual with a soft kiss to his blonde hair.

"Eep el 'Ivie." Jim slurred, already dropping into sleep.

When she returned to McCoy the man had a peculiar look in his eyes. "You do that often?" He asked through his drunken slur, tossing his arm over her shoulder to steady himself as he stepped from the wall.

Liv shrugged. "When we were teens, yea." They began the short walk to McCoy's quarters. "He's the protector- being the big brother and all. And I'm the healer. We work best together, always have." It was more uncomfortable, having the large, warm body so close with Jim not with her.

McCoy moved differently than Jim (drunk or sober). He weighed more, was, oddly enough, more dense (suggesting a larger muscle mass). And he smelled different than Jim. Not a bad different, just… different. Jim was slightly musky and warm, reminding her of home cooking and rainy nights spent watching the storms. McCoy smelled like… spice, musk, man, and whiskey. He didn't smell like home… but he smelled sort of good.

Liv forced the thoughts away as they reached her boss's rooms. "You don't need me do you?" She asked, not really wanting to strip him and tuck him into bed like she had her twin.

"Naw." He drawled, his accent wonderfully thick. "G'nite." He turned to punch in his code and Liv watched him retreat into his dark quarters before heading to her own. She inhaled and exhaled her breath in a sigh. Finally… bedtime. She was already heading to the turbolift to get to her floor before she realized something was off. Leaning against the cool wall she tried to figure out what it was but came up blank. Everything was fine, nothing was wrong…

She sighed and the weird feeling got stronger. _What the hell?_ She wondered, taking another deep breath. Finally she realized what her brain was trying to tell her. Liv inhaled again, holding her breath to analyze it before exhaling. Her clothes, her hair, and her skin had a lingering series of smells. One was very JIM. It hadn't bothered her at all, she was so used to the scent of her twin. No, it was the lingering smell of spice and man that made her slightly uncomfortable though she was alone.

2258 – September 27th 0545 Hours

Jim loved his sister, but forcing her to play, and forcing her to laugh a little about their past would help her. Or so he hoped. If not it would just ruin her even more. He knew socializing was hard for Liv. She was constantly nervous and on edge around men other than himself and Blake.

Sometimes her very Kirk backbone would exert itself and she'd be more than capable of handling anything and everything. Usually a crisis situation or when she was practicing medicine. His sister… the healer, the quiet protector, the care-giver. He'd known his whole life that they were so different and yet so alike.

He had the Kirk backbone in spades, sometimes too much, Liv had it too, but she liked to work under the radar. Probably because if, as kids, she drew too much attention she would get the tar beaten out of her. She'd been too small to fight then and usually not quite fast enough.

Groaning as his alarm pierced the silence and his thoughts Jim snarled, "Computer, alarm off." The noise, which sounded deafening to his hung-over mind, ceased immediately.

Was it right that he forced Liv to play? Probably not. But she needed to loosen up as much as he needed her to loosen up. Since the first time he could remember, Jim knew what Liv was feeling. Maybe it was a twin thing, maybe they were just… weird. But having Liv so damned uncomfortable and so close was driving him crazy. He was jumpy, irritable, and short-tempered and it was beginning to effect his work. He just had to hope he'd done more good than damage with the game the night before.

The game he couldn't actually remember much of…

2258 - October 7th 1709 Hours

Liv leaned back in her chair in Rec Room three, waiting for the men to arrive. Chekov, bless him, was already there, waiting with her. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and grinned slightly. "Having fun?" She asked him kindly.

The boy looked up, his blue eyes bright and his brown curls bouncing slightly. "Da. Chess is greet fun. It was inwented by de Russians you know." He chirped.

He looked like an overgrown puppy, sweet and so willing to please- and totally harmless. Liv stood and sat opposite him. "Wanna play against someone who can kick even Jim's ass?" She asked playfully. "We can go from where you are now if you want."

His eyes, a darker blue than hers, brightened in excitement. "Da. Dank you Lieutenant Kwirk."

Liv grinned slightly. "I'll tell you what. I'll call you Pavel, if you call me Liv or Livie."

The boy blushed slightly but nodded. "Da. Dank you, Liwie."

Fifteen minutes later Livie glanced up as Spock, the last to arrive, walked in the door. "Okay," she said, turning her eyes back to her game (it required most of her attention to keep ahead of Pavel, the kid really was a genius). "So I called you all here for certain reasons.

"As we won the bet a few weeks ago we girls get a prize. Our prize is to prank my dearest twin. As such I need each of you to be involved. Refuse and we will prank you also." She glanced up to let them know she was serious before moving her queen to threaten Pavel's King. "Scotty, you're Jimmy's drinking buddy, I need you to casually get my twin out of his quarters tomorrow night. He needs to be out for over an hour and fairly drunk when he gets back."

The Scot laughed. "Ah can do dat Lassie. But only 'cause it's ye who asked."

Liv smiled slightly, not sure if she was entirely comfortable with the Scot having taken a liking to her. "Thank you. Now, Sulu, you have plants which act as dyes, right?"

"Yes…" The botanist/pilot answered slowly. "Why?"

"I need one to permanently dye my brother's hair a certain color." She answered.

"What color" Spock asked suddenly, "do you intend to dye the Captain's hair?"

Liv smirked. "Pink." Chekov gasped then fell into a fit of snickers, Leonard snorted, and the others laughed slightly, except Spock, who did nothing. "Now McCoy, you have compounds to mask the scent of anything. I need enough of that to mask the smell of the plants in Jim's shampoo."

She didn't look up, but had she Liv would have seen a rather handsome smirk on his face as Leonard answered. "You got it."

"Spock you're the most important because I need two things from you." She fixed the Vulcan with a look that cowed even the most hyperactive Jim. "I need you to let me into his quarters and to not say a thing. I know this is illogical but it is more logical to keep your trap shut than to end up with a similarly colored hair do."

The Vulcan nodded slightly. "Indeed. I shall aide your endeavors under one condition." Liv nodded, expecting SOMETHING from the logical man. "I wish not to be named as a co-conspirator should Jim request names."

Liv nodded. "I will take full blame and name absolutely no names. Scouts honor." She had no intentions of getting caught, or taking blame, but should Jim require a head to roll she would protect her co-conspirators. She looked to Chekov and Blake. "I need Blake to smuggle me the plants from Sulu, so Sulu can't be connected to me. And I need Pavel to act as my look out."

2258 – October 9th 0600 Hours

The entire Officer's Floor could hear the scream emanating from Jim's room. It was frightening enough to rouse all those still sleeping and bright them to their doors. As such, when Jim went storming down the hall, looking like a man out for blood, every crewmember saw their Captain.

His blue eyes flashed, his jaw was set. His hands were clenched into fists and even his gait warned of his foul temper. But the effect was ruined by the brilliant pink color of his usually very dark blonde hair. "LIVIE!"

AN: Yes? No? I dunno. I figured a little fun was in order. Up next- Halloween!

Remember, Review = Preview!!!


	8. Preparing for Halloween

AN: Halloween and the weeks leading up to it! Enjoy! And yes, this does go back in time a little from last chapter. I'm just too lazy to fix the dates in the last chapter to be the days before this, so this begins between the drinking game and Liv's prank on Jim and finishes up after the prank.

2258 – October 4th 1930 Hours

Liv wandered into the mess and grinned as soon as she saw her twin sitting alone with a bowl of ice cream. She hit the replicator, snagged a cup of hot chocolate, and plopped beside Jim.

"I have the best idea ever." Liv murmured to Jim softly, keeping her head close to his. "You will just die."

Jim's grin was infectious. "It is times like this I know you're my twin and that I love you dearly." He ate a scoop of his rainbow swirled ice cream. "Start talkin' Livie."

Liv took a sip of her hot coco, humming in comfort. "So, it's Halloween in a few weeks." Jim's slow nod had a quizzical tip to it. Clearly he didn't quite know what she was hinting at. "We love Halloween."

"It's our favorite holiday." Jim confirmed, smiling fondly. "Do you remember our… tenth grade Halloween?"

Liv smiled wistfully back. "You mean the year just after we got rid of Sam, and you dressed up as me; and were so convincing that We had Blake fooled?" Jim nodded, grinning. "Yup," she added unnecessarily, "I remember." She stole a bite of the ice cream. "So, anyway. This year I think the crew could use a little fun. Galia and I have been talking and we think we should throw a mandatory costume party."

Jim's eyes light up like a kid's in a candy store. "You are my favorite twin, EVER." He exclaimed quietly, all but bouncing in his seat.

"I'm your only twin." Liv quipped without feeling, smiling at the ease of making Jim so happy. "I've got music handled, Galia has recruited Scotty and they'll handle the décor, and costumes will be up to the crew. So all I need from you is the usual."

Jim grinned, striking a pose. "Be the handsome, charismatic public face?" He asked, knowing the answer already.

Liv couldn't help the relief that flooded through her. She was getting better with the crew but… organizing and promoting a party? Not something she'd be any good at.

"But we need something more than just that." Jim continued, dropping his pose to fiddle with his spoon. "We need to make sure the important people don't just show up and run."

Liv shrugged. "So make all senior staff stay the entire party, to make it seem more… legit."

Jim snickered. "You did NOT just say that."

Liv rolled her eyes. "You know what we need?"

"What?"

"Her." Liv said, pointing toward the pretty little blonde talking to Spock. "Chris is amazing. And to be honest, she is such a sweety. No one will bitch too much if we have her on our side."

Jim just grinned and Liv motioned at the younger blonde eagerly.

Leonard watched Liv and Jim sit together, talking quietly. He might not be so worried about the sight, if it weren't for Jim literally bouncing in his seat. Lord the kid had ADHD. Maybe some drug therapy would level him out… Liv motioned to Chris, who left Spock's side to join the overly eager twins. _Lord God help us all._ He thought when Chris laughed and became just as animated as the twins.

2258 – October 5th 0900 Hours

Leonard sat at his desk, enjoying a small moment between patients, it seemed there was a nearly never-ending supply of them, when Liv walked into his office, completely of her own volition. Since the last time she came to him willingly, without prompting, she'd brought him coffee and he'd apparently scared her away for weeks, he endeavored to be nice.

"Can I help you Livine?" He asked as nicely as he could- given his general grouchy disposition it wasn't very nicely but it wasn't unkind either.

Before she could respond the screen on his wall light up and showed an image of a grinning Jim. "Good God." He muttered before the image could speak.

"Attention _Enterprise _crew." Jim started out. "As the thirty-first of this month is Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve, I am going to throw us all a party." Leonard flinched, fighting back a shudder of distaste. Jim continued. "Said party shall be held in Cargo Hold Alpha, and all crewmen must attend. However to be nice, only the senior officers must stay the whole time." Leonard wondered if anyone would question Jim suddenly dying of some unexplained illness. "All personnel must be in costume," No, a terrible illness was too good for the kid. Leonard was going to beat him to death, slowly and painfully, "and to prevent overlap please give crewwoman Pike your costume plans to reserve the right to them. That is all, thank you. Kirk out."

Leonard turned and leveled a firm glare at Livine. The playful grin on her face faltered. "You had something to do with this." He growled. "I saw you three conspiring last night." And then her grin died, replaced by a nearly neutral expression but her eyes were nervous and almost… frightened.

"You're next patient is ready for you." She said in a nearly dead voice before scampering out of his office. Leonard sighed. He'd intended to be nice, for once. Damn it!

He hadn't taken a single step out of his office before Chapel cornered him, her face schooled into a fierce mask. "What did you say to the poor girl?" She whispered harshly. "I don't usually comment on your personal demeanor but you seem scare that poor girl every time she tries to play nice!

"She went in there planning to ask you to go with her to that dance the Captain planned. Did you know that? She told us she'd promised the Captain she'd attend and knew you'd be bored out of your mind. She thought she might try and entertain you while build a few bridges with you, since you're her brother's best friend!"

Leonard was usually not one to allow himself to be lectured but, for once, he stood and took it. Once he was sure his Nurse was finished he asked softly. "How do you know what she was thinking?"

Chapel sniffed, as if distinctly miffed. "She told me because she was nervous and I asked why. Very sweet girl, Liv, if a little skittish. But she's trying, and you just seem to make it worse for her Doctor."

2258 – October 15th 2000 Hours

Leonard had been attempting to find a moment to speak with Livine for nearly two weeks. Unfortunately the Sick Bay had been busy and Livine had been avoiding him like the plague. Having been dressed down by Christine had made him defensive and, for a few days, he had held onto his bitterness at having his nose rubbed in it like a bad puppy. But after those few days he'd just hoped she, like Jim, would eventually just pop back in, having forgiven and forgotten the whole incident. Apparently Livine was very different from Jim. Maybe it was a female thing, maybe it was a Livine thing, but Leonard realized he'd have to apologize and explain.

Really the reason he'd gotten waspish was that he simply hated parties, dances, and in deed most social events. And he had taken it out on her because he'd assumed that she had instigated the party planning- as Jim had never done so before she came aboard. Jim did small events, he'd learned over the years. Jim almost never organized big events, Chris did. However Chris, it had seemed, had not been an instigator but a conspirator after the initial conception of the plan.

Thus he stood outside Livine's quarters, contemplating how, exactly, to go about apologizing. Finally he simply knocked on the door and waited. Nothing happened. He pressed the call button. Again, no answer.

"Computer," he ordered, "locate Lieutenant Livine Kirk."

"In her quarters." The computer answered in the annoying monotone.

He pressed the call button again. No answer. Worry set in as his mind ran away with him. Why wouldn't she answer? Even the showers had an automatic busy reply set so when in use anyone at the door was alerted to the unavailability of the person inside. He pressed the comm..

"Livine, Ah need to speak with you." Leonard growled into the comm. "Ah know you're in there."

The door hissed open almost immediately and he came face to face with Livine. She stood in the doorway, her arms crossed protectively over her chest, her entire body half leaning backward, away from him, her shoulders were dropped, her eyes down. Her body language screamed anger or annoyance and nervousness or fear.

"Can I help you Doctor?" Livine asked softly but quickly, her voice the half-monotone she'd been using for ten days.

Clearly talking to her wasn't going to work well. He knew body language, from breaking horses, and he knew she trusted him about as far as she could throw him. Best to just say what he came to say and keep the rest of it for a later date. Pushing her too far would push her to shut down.

"Ah came to apologize for snappin' at you a few days ago. Just I hate parties and dances and I took it out on you. It was wrong. I apologize." He nodded slightly in dismissal. "Good night."

He got about halfway to the turbolift when Livine called out. "Doctor…" He halted immediately, "it was my idea… the party. But making all senior staff stay the whole time, that was Jimmy. He figured we needed some support from the senior staff and knew we'd have to force it out of you guys."

Leonard turned and looked at her. She leaned in her doorway, her eyes still down cast but her arms at her sides, no longer blocking him out. "So you know, that since you're the reason Ah have to go, that Ah intend to harass you the whole time." He drawled, making it a tease as opposed to a threat like he would with Jim. Too harsh and she'd shut back down. _Good Lord_ he thought, _getting her to warm up is like getting' a wild filly to trust._

She smiled very slightly, just the barest up-turning of her lips, and had he not been paying attention Leonard would have missed it. "That's what I was going to offer, before he made the announcement. I'm not a really social person either."

_No, really?_ He thought sarcastically, biting his tongue to keep the comment to himself. "You seemed fine at the bar." He drawled, remembering –hazily- the night they met.

She blushed. "Jimmy was watching, he'd of stepped in if you'd turned out to be a creeper."

"He'll be there at the party too." Leonard said, walking slowly back to her door so as not to have the conversation with the entire floor.

"With Uhura, as a date. Jimmy won't be paying attention to me, and he shouldn't have to." She answered, not moving as he came closer.

Leonard leaned himself against the opposite side of the door, keeping about four feet between them. She didn't meet his eyes but she didn't shut down. She did, however, begin playing with the single silver ring on her right hand. "And why was he watching you flirt with meh?" He asked, wondering if Jim had been to blame for her picking him, out of everyone in the bar, to hit on.

"Jim bet me I couldn't get you to dance with me. Something about not having the 'Kirk flirtatiousness'. I assured him I could if I wanted, so he said to prove it." She shrugged. "He chose you and was watching."

_Did he bet you wouldn't kiss me? _He wondered but didn't say anything. _Or did you kiss me for a different reason?_ "What are you going as?" He asked, changing the topic to something less… awkward.

Livine answered with a very slight grin, "I'm going as James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_."

Leonard couldn't hold back the bark of a laugh at the mental image the sentence provided him. He looked her over. "You'll have your work cut out for you." He informed her lightly. She was far shorter than Jim, by about ten inches if Leonard's guess was accurate, and had a woman's ample curves.

She just shrugged. "I'm on top of it. I have a few little things to get at Valdek, when we get our day of leave in two weeks." She flicked her eyes up to his. "How about you?"

Leonard scowled. "Damned if ah know. Ah was thinking of just going as a cowboy."

Livine shook her head, smirking. "You can't. Chris is going to bully Spock into going as the cowboy to her Southern Belle."

Leonard huffed, annoyed. What the hell was he supposed to be then? He didn't do masks…

"I have a slightly crazy idea." Livine murmured. Leonard looked up at her and noticed her eyes were critical, like when she was working, and fixed on his face. "With the right stick on prosthetics, enough make up, and a hair cut, I could turn you into Commander Spock."

"The green-blooded hobgoblin?" Leonard growled. "Why the hell would I want to be him?"

Livine shrugged, her arms crossing over her chest again. _Shit!_ He snapped at himself. _Scared her. Lord she's worse than a skittish filly. They at least aren't distrustful, just don't know how to trust yet._

"It was just an idea. You know, to mess with his head, since you don't like him very much and all." She stepped into her open door. "Good night." The door closed in his face, leaving Leonard feeling more than a little annoyed.

2258 – October 25th 0630 Hours

Livie had only just stepped into the Sick Bay when she was accosted. "LIWIE!" As she was hardly awake, her alarm had mysteriously malfunctioned (Damn Jim) and she'd missed breakfast and hardly had time for her shower, Liv jumped a mile, accidentally throwing her hot coffee on her assailant.

"Ah, ah, ah! Hot!" The 'attacker' yelped in his adorable, heavily accented English. "Liwie, what deid I do?" Pavel asked, trying to shake the hot coffee from his hair and off his face.

"Oh my GOD!" Livie cried, realizing her mistake. "PAVEL! I am so sorry! You just scared the hell outta me."

A soft laugh from deeper in the sick bay made Livie scowl. "So NOT funny Doctor. I burned him!" She sheparded Pavel to a bio bed and tugged his shirt off him, leaving him in a clean undershirt. "I am so sorry babe." She insisted, handing the boy a towel. "Dry off and I'll make sure I didn't do ay damage."

"I am fine, Liwie. It wass wery, wery hot is all." Pavel assured her, briskly rubbing dry his coffee covered dirty blonde curls.

"You're sweet." She told the boy, grabbing a dermal regenerator and turning it to the burn setting. "But I can see you going red." She began running the instrument over his head, letting it heal the minor injuries she'd inflicted. "Why the hell did you pounce on me the instant I arrived at work?" She asked without any real snap. She rather liked the kid…

"I wass looking for you, Liwie." He answered, smiling brightly. "Today de _Enterprise_ doks at a Space Station. Lily and I wondered eif you vould akompany us. We need help wif our kostumes. I asked de Doktor but neit. He says he is busy and must stay aboard. He says we may ask you."

Livie shot McCoy a small glare before smiling at the kid. She DID need to get a few final touches for her costume and besides… he was sweet. "Sure Kiddo."

1845 Hours

Livie smiled at the adorable pair who sat across the table from her. "Dinner's on me you two, no arguing. We're gonna have real, cooked, not replicated food tonight."

Lily laughed. "Oh yes. I'm so sick of replicator food"

"Da," Pavel agreed, nodding emphatically. "And we worked up an ahpetite."

Liv grinned. "I'll go snag us a waiter-bot. You two watch my bags, and no peeking." She teased, shaking her finger at them. "It's a surprise." Their laughter relaxed Liv even though there were tons of strange men all packed into the small pub and Jim was no where close by to look after her. She was in uniform, what could possibly happen to her?

"Hey," She drawled at the bartender, "You mind sending a wait-bot to my table, with the two kids?"

The Andorian, because his skin color was VERY Andorian blue, smiled at her. "Sure thing little one. You want anything from me?"

Liv shook her head. "Naw, I'm babysitting, so nothing before I eat. But thanks." She didn't even notice the longing stare of a human on the bar opposite her. Had she, Livie would have noticed immediately that he was a Pirate, given his state of dress. As it was she returned to Lily and Pavel to enjoy their dinner.

1935 Hours

Pavel was unbelievably happy. He was with his beautiful girlfriend, whom he adored, and a woman who he was swiftly thinking of as a big sister, having just finished the first cooked meal he'd had since Chris' birthday. Livie had even let him have a bottle of beer though he was technically illegal.

He watched as the woman who was about his height smiled and stood. "Well I'm gonna grab one last drink to enjoy before we go. You two can have a little fun, play a little pool, dance, whatever, just stay in my eyesight, okay?" Pavel nodded excitedly.

Da, da, Liwie, anyting." He promised, squeezing Lily's hand slightly. It was just like a DATE! He'd never been on a real date before, as sad as it sounded. Livie was, without a doubt, just as cool as her brother and less intimidating.

Or he thought she was, until she fixed him with a firm look. "Pavel, no using your genius brain to hustle pool." He blushed immediately, more from the force of her look than having been caught… he hadn't even thought of it. "Or, at least don't get caught." She winked at him, ruining the effect and he relaxed. Livie wandered toward the bar.

"Dance with me?" Lily asked, smiling at him with a beautiful, shy smile.

Pavel just nodded, too embarrassed and shy to form the words to reply coherently. He needed to work on that… Maybe Livie would help him? He let Lily pull him onto the dance floor. It was tiny, but it would do. Chris had been giving him lessons in dancing and he was very good now, if he did say so himself. Besides, the Russian's invented dancing, and he was Russian, thus he would be marvelous at it.

He danced with Lily, spinning her round and round, laughing, until suddenly the music stopped and he heard a loud, angry voice… It was Livie! He and Lily turned in unison and saw what had happened.

Livie was bleeding from a cut on her cheek, her uniform was ripped, and a big guy was yelling at her. "Come here little Fleet Bitch. Gimmie what I want and I won't hurt you."

Livie glared and Pavel felt himself go cold at the terror in her expression. "Fuck you. Pavel, Lily, go back to the ship." She called, not pulling her eyes from the stranger. "I'll be there in a minute, once I deal with this idiot."

"We should go." Lily whispered, tugging on his arm.

Pavel shook his head, the feeling of nervousness and insight making him skeptical of Livie's command. "Niet. You go back. Geet de Doktor or Keptain Jiim." He spared his girlfriend a quick glance. "Liwie alone cannot beat him. I must stay."

It was stupid, he knew that. Livie probably stood a better chance against her opponent than Pavel did; but as the man slashed at Livie with the broken bottle he didn't think about it. He leapt into the fray, determined to protect his new friend.

1947 Hours

Leonard closed his desk drawer with a soft sigh of exhaustion. Finished. He was finally finished with the tri-annual physicals for all the crew (Livie had had hers just before she came aboard). His work load would decrease a little…

The door hissed open and someone ran into the Sick Bay. "DOCTOR!" Cried a young woman. "Doctor McCoy where are you? I need your help!"

Adrenaline flooded his system at the panic in her voice and he leapt up, grabbed his medkit, and rushed into the main sickbay. "What's wrong?"

The young woman, the blonde girl who was Chekov's girlfriend, looked truly panicked, her hair mussed and a bruise forming on her cheek. "Quick, Livie, Pavel, Pub of station." She clutched her chest, panting.

"Damnit." Leonard growled. "Stay here, a nurse will be right with you." Pressing his comm he ran out of Sick Bay, toward the transporter. "McCoy to Chapel, patient needs you in Sick Bay." He didn't wait for an answer, closing the comm.

It took less than five minutes to get to the pub, which meant Livine had been in trouble for at least ten minutes… Good Lord the trouble Jim could get into in ten minutes… Leonard could only hope Livie wasn't as bad as Jim.

He burst into the Pub to see the entire pub silent and watching the brawling group at the center of the dance floor. Livie stood over a crumpled Pavel, holding off a rather big man with a pool cue.

"Do not TOUCH my boy." Livie growled, "And do not touch me. I said nicely that I wasn't interested, I used force. Now go AWAY."

The man snorted as Leonard slowly, silently walked around the pub, toward the aggressor. "I'm going to fuck you ten ways to Sunday Bitch, and then I'm gonna kill you for what you did to me." His voice was nasally, his nose bloody, Livine had broken it.

"Excuse me." Leonard said firmly, tapping the man's shoulder. "Back off."

The man turned and snorted, shoving Leonard's hand off. "Fuck off buddy. I'm busy."

Leonard sighed, set down and rolled up a single sleeve. The man swung his broken bottle at Livie, who dodged backward, using her cue to smack his head. "I said stop." Leonard growled, grabbing the man's shoulder. He ducked the blow he knew was coming and threw a quick punch.

Leonard hit the man's broken nose, forcing him to drop like a rock. Gingerly he shook his hand and fixed Livie with a glare. "What the hell girl, I thought you were the responsible one." He grabbed a hypo and jabbed the unconscious man with the sedative to keep him out.

Livie sagged, all the energy leaving her, and dropped to her knees beside Pavel. Only then did Leonard notice the series of cuts along her arms, her sides, and along her cheek. "Damnit girl." He growled, stepping closer to her.

She whimpered and tried to shift away from him and Pavel surged upward, grabbing his hand. "Doktor, she is skared. Do not be grouchy with her."

Leonard glared at the kid but scolded himself silently for forgetting Livine's skittish nature. He sighed. "Come here girl, I can't close those up if you don't let me close." He said a little more kindly, reaching for her once more. She didn't pull away when he lifted her into his arms and placed her on a table. "You alright boy?" He asked Pavel.

"Da, he heet my head. I am deezy but okay." The boy answered immediately, standing smoothly and walking without stumbling or wavering. No major trauma then. "She deed not wish for me to fight him."

Leonard looked at the man he'd left unconscious on the floor. About 220 lbs, taller than Spock… "I don't blame her." He answered briskly before turning back to Livine. "You did good, Darlin'. Let me patch you up, okay?"

AN: FINALLY! I wanted the starbase trip to happen but I totally blanked on how to get them there… But I think I figured it out. You tell me what you think. Next chapter is Halloween! HeeHee, lots of fun! All my love.

Ciao!


	9. The Doctor Flirts

AN: Sigh, I love you all, reviews make me smile and always make my day a million times better. It prolly also helps that tonight I'll actually get to spend time w/ my family and yesterday I finished my 'homework' and realized in class I was a few weeks ahead. :D So no stress from hw for a little while and thus more focusing on this! YAY.

2258 – October 25th 2200 Hours

Livie woke with a start, her body singing with adrenaline. _Where am I?_ She wondered as she lurched to sit up right, searching for her pool cue.

"Easy there Kirk." Drawled the rich Southern accent of her CMO. Though she trusted him as far as she could throw him, she knew she- logically- she was safe with him. So she relaxed and looked around, trying to calm her heart.

She was in a private exam room in Sick Bay, McCoy had been sitting in the chair but stood and walked toward her slowly. He showed her his empty hands. "Ah need you to lay down Kirk, you took a couple of blows to the head."

Livie shook her head, ignoring the sharp pain that bloomed behind her eyes and how the room suddenly tilted on its axis. "Pavel… where's Pavel? Is he okay?"

McCoy sighed. "I saw to the boy, and Chapel saw to the girl. They're fine. Kid had a broken fist from throwing a bad punch and took a few knocks to his head too. Apparently his skull is thicker than yours."

Livie laid down slowly, forcing herself to focus on the Doctor. His eyes were furious, boiling blue-green-grey and his jaw was set and locked, but his voice was as kind as she'd ever heard it. _Interesting bedside manner…_ she thought to herself. And while the energy in his features had her on alert the drawl, soft and comforting, kept her from panicking again. She sighed. "You wanna know what happened?"

"No," Said a firm but gentle voice from the doorway. Livie looked up to see Jim who looked absolutely livid. "But I do, Chekov could only tell us so much."

Livie sighed, relaxing in Jim's presence. Pathetically she motioned him closer with her fingers and Jim immediately joined her on the biobed, wrapping his arms around her loosely. "He hit on me. I said no. Apparently that wasn't an acceptable answer. He grabbed my arm, I sprained one of his fingers forcing him to let go, he freaked and hit me. I hit back, breaking his nose by the way, and he went for the bottle." Liv tipped her head back, ignoring the flare of pain to look at her twin's familiar eyes. "I'm not as good at brawling as you. I need work on the pool cue trick."

Jim laughed softly, tightening his arms. "We'll work on that." Jim promised.

Livie could hear McCoy growl to himself, "How about not getting into brawls in the first place?"

2258 – October 31th 0605 Hours

Leonard huffed and glanced at himself in the mirror. His hair did need a hair cut… Why he hadn't thought of this particular flaw in his costume yet he wasn't quite sure. Really, it should have been one of his first concerns. He sure as hell didn't want to have a fucking bucket hair cut for months and they only got one hair cut per certain length of time, some bullshit about continuity.

The Sickbay doors hissed open and he spun, slamming shut the small mirror, to face his desk and look like he was immersed in work. No one was due in for twenty five minutes…

Livine walked in, her eyes wary, her hands holding two mugs of steaming coffee. "Come on in" He half-growled. "What's wrong Kirk?"

She handed him the coffee, which he took with unspoken gratitude. Lord knew, he needed more coffee than usual of late. Jim had them all running themselves ragged between party preparations and disastrous away missions… Livine curled into a chair. "So I had a weird dream last night." She began.

Immediately Leonard flinched. "Talk to Chrissy. She's counselor."

Livine snorted. "Not that sort of dream. I dreamed of tonight's party, and you were all dressed in character, with a Spock hair cut, and then the next day you still had the hair cut."

"Yea," he huffed, "I had a similar thought this morning."

"I have a plan, but you might not be too happy with it." Livine replied, staring intently into her coffee. Lord it was moments when she acted just like that, that Leonard got all confused by her. A Wild filly, which he was assuming she was, would never approach or stick their neck out there. Or, if they intended to, they'd be confrontational about it, locking and holding his eyes.

"Might as well tell me." He muttered. "Couldn't we worse than looking like the Hobgoblin for a few months."

"Well," Livine started, "I could cut your hair for tonight, just before the party, and then tomorrow morning, before shift, you could get your hair cut so you look like yourself."

Leonard considered it for a moment. Livine had a point, it would be a perfect answer for his situation… but he didn't want to look like an idiot at the party. Well… anymore than he already would. Mind, Livine had particularly steady hands and if she was offering he doubted she was inexperienced… after all Jim was her twin.

"You done it before?" He asked.

"Not a bucket hair cut." She admitted. "But I used to cut Jimmy's and mine when we were kids." She looked like she was about to say more but instead she smiled and stood. "Think it over. Let me know." And then she was gone.

"Ah don't know if ah'll ever understand that Filly." He murmured to himself, enjoying the coffee she'd brought him. "But damn, she's growin' on meh."

1900 Hours

Leonard pressed the call button on Livine's door. It opened immediately but Livine was no where in sight. Stepping into the room Leonard called, over the music, "Livine?"

"Coming!" Called her voice from the bathroom. "Just a second!"

"No worries." He answered back, taking the first opportunity to look around her room. It was mostly regulation approved, the desk was littered with artwork clearly done by a child of about Joanna's age. Pinned to the wall were pictures. Jim, Livine, and Blake from all throughout their childhoods- Ten, fifteen, their Prom (Livine had been escorted by Blake and Jim had a girl on each arm)- as well as pictures of horses and Livine on the horses… The lithe horse she lay on in one shot looked very much like one of his… And a picture of a smiling little girl, waving at the camera, her grey-green-blue eyes bright with laughter and her chocolate curls bound up in pigtails.

"Joanna." He murmured, touching the picture with gentle fingers.

"She's my kid." Livine said, leaning against the wall, watching him with her bleed-me-blue eyes. His stomach dropped and tied itself in knots. "Well," she amended," not mine biologically, but I love her more than her Bitch mother. It's my Joey." She took the picture from the wall and stroked it. "Her dad's not in the picture much, he's a great dad apparently but the Bitch keeps him from her."

Leonard silently offered his hand and Livine handed him the picture. "How do you know her?" He asked, fighting a flash of jealousy. Livine was Joanna's 'Ivie'.

"I was her step-dad's PA. Nick's a good man, he really cares for her, and he's trying. I met her at a picnic and we clicked- me and Joey, not me and Nick or his wife. I was her babysitter for… three years." She sighed. "You have no idea how hard it was to leave her behind."

Leonard laughed bitterly. "You might be surprised." He placed the picture back on the wall. "Her name is Joanna Caroline McCoy, her Mother, the Bitch as you so nicely called her, was Jocelyn McCoy, now she's Jocelyn Rose." He smiled bitterly at her shocked look. "She's my daughter."

Livine blinked up at him for a few moments. "No way." She murmured. "You…" She stared at him for another few moments, then looked at the picture. "I can't believe I didn't see it before. She has your eyes, and your hair, and your grin."

Leonard fought the ache in his chest. "Let's get going. We'll be late." He growled, turning his eyes from the picture of his baby. Jealousy made him waspish and if he focused on how a complete stranger had been his daughter's best friend for three years he'd been denied her… Well it wouldn't be good.

"Stop fidgeting!" Livine scolded him firmly fifteen minutes later. "If you keep moving I'll make a mistake and you'll have crooked bangs."

"Ah'm not used to people havin' scissors near mah eyes." Leonard growled, fighting the urge to flinch as the silvery blade winked near his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you McCoy, chill." She teased, surprising Leonard, again, how she relaxed when she was in complete control. A few minutes later she blew gently on his face. "There, done." She handed him a mirror.

Leonard stared at himself. Even without the tipped ears and the slanted eyebrows, he looked a whole hell of a lot more like Spock than he'd thought. "Ugh. I look like the hobgoblin."

Livine laughed softly. "Isn't that the point?" She asked teasingly. "Sit still, I'm going to put the ears and eyebrows on, then I'll do your make up."

Leonard groaned, almost in pain. Killing Jim was sounding more and more acceptable as the evening wore on, and the party hadn't even begun yet!

2010 Hours

Livie squared her shoulders and walked into the Cargo hold using her best Jim-swagger. McCoy was already there, as was Chrissy. _Heehee, fresh meat._ Livie thought to herself, walking straight to Chrissy and pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. "Hello Chris." She drawled, using her 'Jim' voice. "You look amazing."

Chris's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Livie?" she asked, excited and impressed.

Livie sighed and pouted but bowed playfully. "It was my height, wasn't it?" She asked Chris as she stood back up. "Damned platform boots only go so high." And she was still a good two inches shorter than her twin. The platforms were six and three quarters inches high, Jim was nine inches taller than her.

"And yer might break an ankle, and then where would you be?" McCoy growled.

Livie felt the wash of nervousness and irrational fear but forced it away, clinging to her impersonation of her twin. _What would Jim say…_ She asked herself. "Bite me you cantankerous bastard." Livie snapped back, using Jim's good-natured but annoyed tone.

"Holy hell!" Livie heard her twin snap. She didn't turn immediately, watching Chris' reaction first. _Oh Jimmy, what did you do this time…_ She asked herself, watching Chris blush a dark emerald and her eyes glaze over slightly with lust. She turned and saw her dearest twin in Gladiator garb and fought an annoyed sigh.

Instead she leveled a glare at him. "I'm Jim Kirk." She snapped. "Captain of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_. Who the hell are you?" She asked.

Livie was amazingly proud of herself for not breaking out into laughter as Jim's eyes widened then narrowed. "I'M Jim Kirk, Captain of the _Enterprise_!" He snapped back at her. Livie wondered how long she could keep it up until Jim either figured it out or went insane and believed he wasn't Jim, she was.

But Chris ruined her fun. "Jim." Livie looked at her, just to annoy Jim. She could hear McCoy snickering from behind her. "Who has your eyes, and knows you well enough to mimic the way you walk, talk and flirt?"

"Livie, that is INSPIRED!" Jim crooned, grinning like an idiot. "Let's see how many people we can mess with tonight!"

2135 Hours

Livie leaned against an 'enchanted tree' next to McCoy. "Wanna see something really funny?" She asked, not looking at the man who made her nervous but trying to open up to him.

"What did you have in mind?" McCoy asked her, his eyes flicking to look at her.

"You'll love this." She promised, pushing away from the wall. "Watch me and Jim." She ordered, walking to where her brother flirted shamelessly with Uhura. "Jimmy!" she teased, "Dance with me. I'm feeling neglected."

She knew that if she played the situation right that she could get Jim to make an idiot of himself… "Sure." He smiled at his girlfriend and kissed her cheek. "Dance with Chrissy, I'll be back."

Livie grabbed Jim and pulled him to the dance floor. "Uhura looks great." She commented, watching the woman move in the beautiful silk dress.

"Yea, you are amazing. You have great taste." Jim murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead and falling into the dance as she took the lead. For a second they danced before Jim realized what was going on. "HEY!" He snapped, refusing to move. "Dang it Livie, I'm not dancing the girl's part!"

Livie narrowed her eyes at her twin. "Jim, you're the one in the skirt." She reasoned.

"But I'm the one with a dick." He argued.

Livie rolled her eyes. "Have one or are one?" She asked half-mockingly. "Dance or I'll tell Uhura who really picked out her dress."

Jim's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."

Livie grinned. "I would."

Jim sighed. "Fine." He placed one hand on her right bicep and his other in her left hand. "You're evil." He growled as she led him into the first few steps. Livie didn't bother to respond, her mind was too busy trying to both remember the steps (she wasn't a natural leader, Jim was) and to focus on the bright laughter in McCoy's beautiful grey-green-blue eyes and the familiar crooked grin that spread across his face.

Leonard watched as Livine returned to his corner of the cargo hold, a smile on her beautiful face. He couldn't help but laugh. He would never forget the sight of his Captain and best friend being dipped by his shorter little sister. "Very impressive." He drawled when she came close enough to hear him. "Ah will never be able ta look at the Kid again without seeing him in that dip."

Livine laughed, nodding. "I can't believe he let me do that. I thought for sure the blackmail wouldn't work THAT well."

Leonard glanced at her as she leaned against the wall. "What blackmail?"

"Jim said he bought Uhura's dress." She quipped.

Leonard snorted. "Doubtful." He drawled. The kid had absolutely no fashion sense. He caught Livine's small grin. "You did?" She nodded. "And you let him take the credit?"

She just smiled a rare, delicate smile. "Jim's my twin McCoy. We've been through hell and high water and our system is this: I have the fantastic ideas, he takes the credit, or the blame."

"Leonard." He corrected.

"Wha?" She asked, looking mildly confused.

"You kissed me months ago. I think you could call me Leonard." He drawled, leaning a little closer to her.

"No." she murmured. "You're my boss. McCoy."

"I'd prefer if you called my Leonard." He said firmly but gently. "And if you'd let me ask you to dance." He offered her his hand, wondering what in the hell had come over him. Slowly, delicately, she took it and let him guide her onto the dance floor.

She felt as right in his arms as she had the first time, only a month and a half before, and he relaxed into the dance a little more. His hand pressed against her back gently and he tried a technique he'd used when breaking horses. He made his body language as non-threatening as possible. And she relaxed into him, slowly but surely. She glanced up at him, offering a tentative smile, her bleed-me-blue eyes bright, for once not with wariness but with contentedness.

_Good Lord,_ he thought, feeling as if a lightning bolt had just hit him, _I like her. I like this little filly as much as I like Jim and Chris. _The thought floated around his brain as he spun her around the dance floor. Gently he dipped her as another thought hit him. _I actually want her to be like this all the time… I want her to be comfortable with me._

Gently he released her and bowed, tipping an invisible hat. "Thank you Ma'am." He teased before pressing a gentle kiss to her hand. He watched her blush but she didn't lean away or look away from his eyes.

"You're very welcome Cowboy." She replied, using Jim's voice.

Leonard shuddered. "I haven't told you this yet but that's downright creepy."

Livine just laughed. "You should see Jim be me." She teased, returning with him to lean against the wall.

"I'd rather not." Leonard murmured, making her laugh more.

AN: What do you think? Yes? No? Find the TV reference in this chapter and win a prize. Also Review = PREVIEW!!!!!


	10. Joanna Calls and Jim Falls

AN: Nightmares, bonding with Bones, and disastrous away missions ahead my loves! Enjoy!

2258 – November 5th 1230 Hours

It was a Saturday back on Earth, on a Starship it didn't matter. But Liv liked to keep track because it let her know when to expect a call from Joey (or Joanna as McCoy… Leonard called her). She glanced at the small glowing numbers on the little PA's desk and grinned. Fifteen minutes left, then she'd get to speak to her girl, just enough time to run and grab lunch.

"I'm going to lunch Christine." Liv told the head nurse, smiling widely.

"Be sure to tell the Doctor." Christine called though Liv was already heading to McCoy's office.

She entered silently and opened her mouth to speak when her brain fully caught up with her over-excited body. She came to a total and complete halt. McCoy… Leonard, he'd said to call him Leonard… leaned over his personal desk (which faced the wall, not the center of the office like his work one did) so his back was to her.

"Please Jocelyn, let me talk to my daughter." He murmured, his tone what she'd call begging in a lesser man. "She's my baby too."

"Look, Leo, I just don't have time today." Jocelyn snapped. Liv couldn't see her but she could hear, in the background, music. "She doesn't want to talk to you. She didn't even care when I showed her the Halloween vids you sent." The buzz of a disconnected call filled the office and McCoy let his head drop to the desk with a painful thud.

He didn't make a sound but his shoulders wracked silently in what she recognized as dry sobs. Usually Livie would run away, sneak silently and unnoticed out the door again and then reenter loudly. But there was something that called to her in his broken posture.

Silently she walked to his side and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Immediately he tensed and growled at her. "Fuck off." Without looking up, but for once Liv didn't let him scare her. He was hurting and it was STUPID and she could FIX it. So she slid to sit on his work desk, behind McCoy.

"It's a lie, McCoy." She murmured, letting both hands rest reassuringly on his shoulders as she had often done with Jim. …though if she let herself admit it Jim's shoulder's weren't quite as broad or deliciously warm under her hands.

"What is?" He snarled.

"That she doesn't want to talk to you." Liv murmured, trying to remember what Joey had said. "Last time we talked, before Halloween, she was totally excited to see vids of you in costume. She rambled on and on about seeing her Daddy dress up for Halloween and getting to watch him dance with all the pretty ladies." The tense shoulders under her hands slowly relaxed, like melting stone.

"Really?" He asked, sounding broken and insecure.

"Really." Liv affirmed. "I sent her tons of vids on our personal comm. A few had you in them." She sighed and moved one hand to pull her personal comm from her pocket. Leaning very close, dangerously close, to his back she placed the comm. on his desk. "She's calling in like ten minutes, maybe less. I'll run and grab us lunch and we can talk with her while we eat. Okay?"

She leaned back, releasing him completely, and he spun to face her. The motion put them very close, his head only slightly lower than hers and his body less than a foot and a half away. It hadn't been scary when he'd been facing away, but it sparked a flicker of terror in Liv as he faced her.

But the gentle look on his face, and the gratitude in his green-grey eyes soothed most of the fear, making it manageable. "Thank you Livine." He said softly. "You don't know how much this means to me." He murmured. His eyes hardened slightly. "And I thought I told you to call me Leonard."

Liv fought a small smile and leapt sideways off his desk. "You did. But it's such a mouthful." And it was frightening, calling a man by his given name. It was personal, and she tried like hell to keep it very NOT personal with most men. "I'll be back with Lunch in a jiffy."

Leonard sighed and leaned back in his chair, watching the empty doorway. He'd been so jealous of Livine's relationship with his daughter he'd forgotten that while his Bitch ex-wife hated him, Joanna didn't, no matter what Jocelyn said. And now, thanks to the very same woman he'd been envious of and just a tad annoyed with, he could speak to his baby girl without having to deal with Jocelyn. He'd have to find a way to thank her.

The comm. buzzed, pulling Leonard from his thoughts. He hesitated for the barest of moments. What if Jocelyn wasn't lying… Stamping out the thought he pressed the accept button and the image of his baby popped up in full, bright, living color.

"Daddy?" She asked, blinking, surprised. But his girl was sharp as a whip and the understanding flickered in her eyes almost immediately. "Ivie told you about our communicators!" She giggled. "YAY! Now I can see you all the time!" She blinked slowly, her lips turning into a frown. "But… Mommy said you didn't want to talk to me…"

Leonard felt his heart constrict. "Baby, you know I love you. I always want to talk to you." He wanted to say the truth, that her mommy had lied, but he wasn't such a heartless man. "Mommy was mistaken."

"Hey Joey!" Liv cried, stepping silently into his office holding a tray of food. "Did you like the vids I sent you?" His blonde assistant passed him a steak and cheese sandwich as she spoke to his girl, sitting behind him on his work desk. He half wondered how she knew it was his favorite (replicated) comfort food.

2258 – November 13th 0246 Hours

"_Sammie, what's wrong with you hand?" Sammie glanced up at her teacher, Mrs. Klein. She was nice, pretty, just like Sammie's Mommy. But she wasn't Sammie's Mommy, and Sammie's problems were family problems._

_So she lied. "I fell." She said softly, blushing because she knew lying was bad. But Frank had said family problems were family problems and should be kept in the family. It was the first time she'd ever lied to an adult. If only she knew it wouldn't be the last._

"_Do you want to go see the nurse?" Mrs. Klein asked sweetly, smiling down at Sammie in a way that made her little five-year old heart ache. Why didn't Mommy smile at her like that?_

"_No, I'm okay." She lied again, pulling the makeshift bandage to cover her hand better. Jimmy had fixed it. It wasn't like a nurse could do, but it was better than nothing. Someone might have seen, if she didn't wear it, that there wasn't a cut on her little palm, but a burn._

"_Okay, well if it hurts to color with that hand why don't you try your other one?" Mrs. Klein asked softly, patting her head gently. She glanced at Jim. "Jimmy, why don't you help Sammie?"_

_Jimmy nodded, his pretty blonde curls bouncing into his eyes. "Okey Dokey." Mrs. Klein patted Jimmy's back. Sammie saw the tears in Jimmy's eyes that he hid. Mrs. Klein must have patted Jimmy's burn… He'd tried to help her. He'd gotten hit too._

_Sammie switched the crayon to her left hand and tried to color. It looked ugly and stupid, the kids around her laughed. Sammie felt tears prickle in her eyes and she dropped her head, hiding her face. Jimmy yelled at the other kids, telling them to shut up. He was such a good brother…_

"_Let me help." Jimmy said, closing his good hand around her left. Together they finished her drawing. It looked silly still, but better than if she'd drawn it alone. "We can try at home. You'll get better." Jim coached her softly as they turned their drawings in. Sammie nodded but still she was ashamed to turn in the ugly drawing._

Livie woke up with a soft gasp, her body quivering. It wasn't a bad nightmare, not frightening really, but the memory hurt. Her first lie. The first time she'd turned away the attention and worry of an adult. But not the last. Not hardly.

"Computer," Livie rasped, pulling herself into a sitting position, her sheets pooling around her waist, "lights 30 percent." The lights came on dimly. Just enough of the golden glow that she could see, but not so much that it hurt her eyes.

Slowly she looked around the dim quarters. "My name in Livine Kirk." She whispered to herself. "I'm a Lieutenant on board the _U.S.S. Enterprise_." She glanced down at her hands, adults hands, hands that healed. For a split second she saw the old, ratty bandage tied around her right palm.

"No!" she whispered harshly, curling her hand into a fist. "My name is Livine Kirk. I'm 25 years old, not 5. I'm not Sammie Kirk anymore." But she couldn't convince herself, in her minds eye she was still the tiny, delicate, helpless child… With a snarl she stood and headed into her bathroom.

"Computer lights 100 percent in bathroom!" Maybe the light would burn away the shadows in her mind and her soul. "And while your at it," she said as the burning lights flashed on, making her see spots, "begin playing Songlist Livine Alpha three, on shuffle."

She looked into the mirror as her vision cleared and a familiar song began playing. She laughed softly and began singing along, the words were just too…. Perfect for her situation.

"I see her as a little girl hiding in her room. She takes another bath and she sprays her momma's perfume." The memories came rushing back, clouding her eyes with tears.

_Sam stood in her bedroom door. He was tall, broad, he filled the doorway. There was no escape for her. 'What does he want?' Sammie wondered to herself as he slowly closed the door to her bedroom.._

"_Such a pretty little girl you are Sammie." Sam said with his thick, New England-er accent. His hand stroked her cheek and Sammie had a terrible thought._

Jim woke with a jolt, somewhere in the back of his mind he thanked God that he was alone in his bed for once, but the majority of his mind was focused on Livie. Something was wrong.

With a curse he leapt out of his bed and skidded around his room, searching for his pants. He found them, and managed to shove himself into them, in record time. He opened his door and tore from the room without looking where he was going…

With a huff he ran smack into someone with enough force to known himself, and the other person, back onto their asses. He glanced up, apology on the tip of his tongue, when he saw who he'd run into. "Bones, man, we gotta keep doin' this." He half teased, pulling himself upright and grabbing the older man to help him up too.

"What the hell, Kid?" Bones growled. "Where's the fire?"

Jim bit his lip, seriously considering telling his best friend… _No,_ he scolded himself, _rule one. Family problems are family problems._ "Not now Bones, it's none of your business." He told his friend as gently as possible before dodging around the cantankerous Southern man (never knew if or when he'd have a hypo, best to just always be cautious) and up to the turbolift. Livie needed him.

Livie didn't really hear the door open, caught up in the song and her memories. But she felt the hand rest gently on her cheek, freeing her from the terrible memories. She let herself lean back on Jim, seeing him behind her in the mirror.

"Now she's looking at her lovely woman face. No more frightened little girl, like she's gone without a trace. Still she leaves the light burning in the hall, it's hard to sleep at all." She sang softly, more to herself than Jim. She let the song continue without her and she sighed, closing her eyes. "Jim."

But Jim wasn't listening to her, she could sense it. It was like she could hear the wheels in his head turning. "This song…" he said slowly, "It's about a woman who was raped as a child." Livie nodded slowly, ashamed. "You?" He asked, voice shocked and angry.

Livie shook her head, opening her eyes to meet his gaze in the mirror. "No. Not raped." She said forcefully. She was never raped. Close, but not raped. She wasn't THAT damaged.

Jim quivered behind her, his eyes enraged. "But close." Live could only nod. Jim's hands brushed her cheeks again. "He can't touch you ever again." He promised.

Livie laughed, bitterly but also thankfully. "Yea, well he didn't want me that way once I started growing tits."

Jim tensed further, if possible, but said gently. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" He asked her softly.

Livie shook her head, feeling the tears once more. "I was so ashamed." It wasn't the worst of what she'd endured, watching Sam jerk himself off in front of her, bullying her into touching him. Sam had done so much worse in so many ways. But he'd stolen the last shred of innocence she'd ever had.

Jim turned her so she could cry against his bare chest and he just held her, making soft, soothing sounds. Livie couldn't believe how ashamed she felt, it was worse than the original act. But… also how free she felt, finally admitting it. Jim laughed softly. "No wonder you don't wanna get laid." He teased.

Livie sniffed, smiling slightly. "Yea, well. I suppose it explains a lot." After a moment she added. "But I DO wanna get laid, eventually."

"You want to be in love." Jim murmured. "You want to trust." Livie nodded, mildly shocked her twin understood. "It's better, when you're in love." He admitted. Livie glanced up and Jim grinned wryly. "I love Uhura." He admitted. "I think I want to marry her."

Livie wondered if the flash of hurt and jealousy that she felt, mingled with the happiness and excitement over his statement, made her a terrible twin. She hoped not.

1010 Hours

Livie had been in a foul temper all morning. Her dream and the painful memories she'd endured during the night- and her ability to fall back asleep after Jim left- had left her on edge. Hearing Spock and Chris have an argument hadn't helped any either. Weirdly enough she'd been jealous watching their lovers-spat (though they weren't yet actually lovers).

She didn't really want to fight with someone, she just… she wanted someone who loved her that way to be worried about HER safety. Jim was pulling rank and joining her to be with her- and because he loved adventure- but that meant very little. And with Blake finding himself starting a little thing with a handsome xenobiologist who was a Gamma shift nurse, Livie was just feeling… left out.

Livie glanced up at her boss, McCoy… Leonard… as they stepped onto the transported pad. He looked nervous. Did he dislike the transporter? She scoffed at the very idea. He was a grown man. Why would he have phobias about stupid stuff like that? Healthy people didn't have phobias and anxiety issues. Ad, as far as she could tell, McC… Leonard… was mostly normal- a little damaged from Jocelyn but that was to be expected. A swirl of light over took Liv and she let her mind wander from her attractive boss to the mission at hand.

The first thing Liv noticed, before the lights even cleared away, was the wretched, sticky heat of the place. The lights cleared and her mind forced away her displeasure at the temperature. It was… it was…

"I'm in Heaven, right?" Chris asked from just beside Liv, shooting a glance at her. _Heaven_. Liv thought, letting her mind take in the beauty around her. It was a rainforest, like what she'd seen in really old vids from Earth over three hundred years ago. The sunlight that reached her eyes wasn't yellow or golden, like she'd expected, but green- probably from filtering through the canopy. And all around she could hear animals calling.

"No," Liv answered Chris, smiling at the fellow blonde. "But I sure hope Heaven looks like this." She shifted and noticed with a mild grimace, that the humid air had made her begin sweating, which made her undershirt stick to her ample chest and back. She plucked at the damned shirt, wishing for something more breathable. "Just less humid!"

Chris laughed softly as Jim muttered, "Too right. Damned Sauna here." Liv didn't dare let herself glance up at McC… Leonard. Her foul mood had evaporated but she knew she was still fragile.

"So do we split up or what?" Chris asked, glancing around.

Leonard stepped toward Chris and caught her arm. "You're with me. One medic per team, Livine can try to control Jim."

Livie felt a flash of jealousy, which was stupid, and heard Jim's indignant huff. So, to needle her twin, she pouted and whined. "But BONES!" It was so weird, using his nickname. She felt almost dirty for using it. "Chris is so much more sensible than Jim/"

McCoy snorted. "Which is why I'm going with her." He tugged the laughing blonde toward the east. "See you back here in two hours!"

An hour following her twin- who had always possessed boundless energy- in the insane humidity was NOT Livie's idea of fun. But it was sort of interesting. There were tons of plants that she collected samples of, a few small animal species- including a type of reptile-looking alien critter that Jim scared up from his little hole onto a tree. Poor fellow.

"Jim, seriously!" Livie yelled at her beloved twin and Captain. "We've been walking for an hour. Time we turned around to head back."

Jim laughed. "Just a little further Livie! I think I hear a stream!" Jim called from ahead of her. In fact he was so far ahead she could only just see the color of his shirt and his hair over the foliage. Damn the forest was thick. "I think it's just past this felled tree!" Jim called back.

"Jimmy, SLOW DOWN!" Livie yelled as a sudden feeling of dred took hold of the pit of her stomach.

"No! I'm just gonna jump over this fallen tree." Jim called back. She saw a bit more of his torso as he leapt cleanly over the tree… "SHIT!" She heard him cry before she heard a scream of pain.

"JIMMY!" Livie yelled, breaking into a full on run. She was almost to the felled tree when the world went black as the back of her head exploded in pain.

AN: Sorry about not posting on Tuesday guys. I had Initiation week last week and exams last week and this week. But they're over, finally, so I'm able to focus a bit more on my favorite past time (aside from watching Karl Urban walk around in 1850's garb, speak in a SEXY as HELL southern drawl, and ride horses- if you haven't seen Comanche Moon you HAVE TO, absolutely frikin awesome.).

Hope you enjoyed my loves. Review = Preview and there will be a lot to preview (once its written)! If you read "What a Vulcan Wants" Then you know they're in a bit of a pickle. Chris wasn't very lucid about their escape, but Bones and Liv will be!

Oh, yea, and the song was "Ask Me" By Amy Grant. It's a personal favorite. I sometimes find myself listening to it, standing in my own bathroom, and looking at myself, and trying to see how much I've changed from that scared, broken little girl myself…

Ciao!


	11. I Don't Do Cages

AN: The conclusion (I think) of the botched Away mission. Beware, this chapter will probably not be for the faint of heart. As Liv and Bones are much more lucid than Chris this will be much more graphic than the corresponding chapter in "What A Vulcan Wants".

You have been warned. I shall delete reviews which contain you being upset or horrified by how nasty this might get. My imagination is a terrible, horrible place sometimes. I will not apologize for it.

2258 – November 13th Sometime after 1115 hours

Livie hissed in pain as she came too. Her head ached, mostly dully but as she moved too quickly the pain flared. As the roar of pain faded into a manageable but annoying ache she realized she could hear voices, but she couldn't quite make them out… not yet.

Probably because her eyes, which were quite used to the dark because of her childhood, had already begun to make out where she was. And what she saw ignited panic she hadn't felt since she was about twelve.

She was in a cage. A Fucking cage. Well… jail cell might be a better term but it was a little small for the word. She didn't dare look behind or around herself, knowing the more of the dank, dirty, horrible CAGE she saw the more she'd panic. Livie didn't do cages well.

Jim's voice, which she recognized despite her panic, was accompanied by the acute knowledge that her twin was in excruciating pain. THAT was enough for her to force back her panic and focus. She could hear a woman talking… the cadence was familiar, the voices to her right…

"Hey!" She teased, hoping that keeping her voice light would keep herself, Chris, and her twin calm, "That's to technical for you Chris." Panic ate at her, if Chris was right and Jim had two seriously broken legs… the possibility for infection was astronomical.

"LIV!?" Chris cried in a strangled, panicked voice. "Tell me Bones is with you!"

_Huh McCoy… Leonard_? Liv forced herself to look around. There, beside her, laying on the floor was the shape of a man. In the darkness she couldn't make out the color of his shirt but she could tell it was defiantly Star Fleet issue. Reaching out she felt for a pulse along the firm, warm throat. She found it easily and could feel him move as he breathed.

But there was something wrong… there was something tacky on his neck. Carefully Liv reached under his neck and began palpitating the injury, searching for what she feared the most… fractures in the spine. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off of her when she felt none. But there was a nasty goose egg on the back of his head.

"Yea." She called to her shorter, more delicate friend. "I think." It was too dark to see him perfectly but she was 85% sure it was McCoy... Leonard. "But he's been hurt. I can feel blood around his face and head." Which meant he'd been on his stomach for a little, allowing the blood to flow down his cheeks and onto his handsome face. _So not a good time to be thinking of your Boss as handsome, Livie._ She scolded herself, forcing herself from the pleasant thoughts of Leonard's attractiveness back to the reality of her situation. Panic again welled up in her gut but she forced it back. "You two okay?"

Lifting her grime covered uniform shirt, Livie ripped away a long strip from her undershirt. As Chris detailed her injures, and Jims, Liv forced herself not to worry by focusing on Leonard. She lifted him so his head rested on her legs, so no pressure was on the nasty goose egg, and wet the fabric with her own saliva. Saliva was nasty but it had enzymes to dull pain and she had to find out if his injuries were worse than she could see. Besides, saliva was cleaner than anything else around them.

Her hands gentle and steady Liv made herself think only about what she could do something about. Should she focus on the cage she resided in or Jim she'd lose it. She began to clean the blood from Leonard's face. At least Chris' injury wasn't as severe as Jim's. She wasn't at risk for infection… "Thank God for small mercies." Liv murmured.

"Jim leapt over a fallen tree and fell…" She murmured. _Jim's scream made my blood run cold. I panicked and ran to his aide…_ _And then… then there was pain. A deep, bright flash of pain in the back of my head…_ She touched the back of her own head and hissed as a tidal wave of pain rolled over her, turning her vision grey for a moment and she hissed in pain, her teeth clenching to prevent herself from screaming. The pain finally faded. "Okay, apparently I'm bleeding too."

Tenderly Liv wiped under Leonard's eye. The blood came away and though she couldn't see the bruise she knew he had one, the delicate skin was heated. He must have gone down fighting. "What in the name of God happened?" He growled, startling her. His eyes opened slowly, blinked a few times, then focused on her.

"Hey, Liv. I think Jim and I are just gonna lay down." Chris said softly. "You wanna fill him in?"

Liv felt a ripple of fear. Shock was a very real danger for Jim. "Keep Jimmy talking." Leonard sat up quickly, his eyes searching. "We'll get us out Chris, don't worry."

"What in the hell is going on?" Leonard hissed. His voice would have inspired fear, but given their situation Liv seemed to have much more important things to be afraid of.

Leonard could feel warm, gentle hands on his face, brushing away something tacky… Fingers brushed under his eye and he registered pain. He had a shiner… And his head throbbed… _What in Heaven?_ He thought. His other senses began reporting back in.

He lay on a cold, hard something, probably the floor, but aside from his eye, cheek, head, and right knuckles he felt no pain. There was the gentle ministrations of someone, clearly tending him, and if his ears were to be trusted the person tending him was Livine. Whatever he lay on smelled truly foul, like human waste and decay, but the legs(?) that pillowed his head and the attached body actually smelled almost appealing, under the scent of sweat.

He opened his eyes. "What in the name of God happened?" He asked, his mind searching desperately for the memory before the darkness and the pain. How had he gotten to where he was? Why was he in pain?

Leonard's eyes slowly focused and as they did he heard Chris sigh almost in relief. "Hey, Liv I think Jim and I are just gonna lay down." Chris said from his right. "You wanna fill him in?"

He could see Liv's eyes as they widened in fear and he heard the urgency in her voice as she said lowly, "Keep Jimmy talking." Those words were a shock to his system. If she was worried about Jim remaining conscious- which she clearly was- something was VERY wrong with his best friend. He surged upward, ignoring the throb of his head and the tilting of the world around him. "We'll get us out Chris, don't worry." Liv promised but Leonard could see the disbelief in her eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" He growled, realizing just how bad of a situation they really were in. Almost immediately he remembered who, exactly, he was dealing with, and he softened his tone. "Are you hurt?" He asked quickly, reaching forward. If he knew her at all, and he really thought he was beginning to, he knew she would have completely ignored her own state.

His hands brushed her face and though he felt her tense she didn't pull away. "I was hit in the back of the head, same as you I'm guessing. But looks like you took a harder hit and did some fighting before they got you down." Even in a dark dungeon she brushed her own health aside.

"Sit still." He ordered gruffly, scooting forward to get as good an understanding of her injury as he could. He felt the tackiness of blood along her hairline. "Good thing your hair is so damn short." He murmured, the silken strands brushing against his fingerpads. She had a decent sized bump of her head, nothing too serious, but she probably had a headache.

She leaned closer to him, to his mild discomfort, and murmured into his ear, "Jim's in really bad shape. He shattered his lower legs and the bone has pierced the skin in both legs. It seems like he's floating in and out of consciousness."

Leonard's blood ran cold. Jim needed medical attention immediately or there was a serious risk of infection, blood loss, and shock. And possibly worse, without Jim who was going to pull an amazing escape out of their ass? "Damnit." He growled.

Livine laughed bitterly, softly. "Such a way with words." She leaned back from him, slipping away from his hands. He'd of pulled her back but he was satisfied she wasn't seriously hurt. "Got any bright ideas?"

"Call for help?" He asked bitterly before realizing that aside from his clothes he was bare. Even his boots had been removed. "Never mind."

Livine snorted. Was sarcasm a Kirk trait? Or was she afraid and unwilling to show it, give into it. Because, if he was being honest wit himself, Leonard had to admit that fear was slowly beginning to gnaw at the edges of his mind. They were trapped.

Leonard had never been in the military, he'd never studies tactics or war, all he knew was the human (and most alien) body. But he also had 31 years of life and it had given him some insight into people, and into those around him. He could get himself and the other out, if he could just calm down and figure out who had them and why.

"Tell me what you remember." He murmured. "Anything you think might be important." If only he could remember…

"They hit me once and I was out." Livine said slowly. "So they're strong." As she spoke Leonard rolled to his feet. He needed to know where the door was and how it opened. "They must be highly intelligent and sentient. And probably capable of controlling their emotions because Chris would have said something if she'd sensed them."

_True…_ He didn't remember Chris saying she'd noticed anything… not that he remembered much. But it came back slowly, in pieces. _Chris bounded ahead, laughing. She leapt over something… a tree? And then her yell of pain…_ But it flitted away, hiding in the deeper reaches of his mind where he could not follow.

"I was hit from behind, blitz attack, and Jim fell into a pit…" She drifted off, as if thinking.

But Leonard's mind was running with the last statement. "They were being cautious. Blind-side the small one, trap the bigger and most threatening one. They must have thought I was the leader and would be in front…" He was supposed to have fallen into the pit, not Chris. "They don't know what we're capable of, so this isn't a usual troublemaking species."

Liv couldn't believe how relieved she was that Leonard was up and taking charge. Crisis in general usually brought out the best in her… but Liv couldn't handle cages. Only focusing on Leonard's injuries had kept her from panicking and, with Leonard up and about, slowly but surely the panic was setting in.

She gasped out a shuddering little breath, her hands curling into fists. She couldn't panic. She couldn't panic. She would be no use to anybody if she panicked… Hands, warm and callused, grasped her cheeks again, forcing her to stare into green eyes. "Tell me what's wrong." Leonard demanded firmly but gently. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

Liv wanted to lean into his touch and, at the same time, wrench herself away. Cages reminded her of Sam. Sam had liked cages, liked them a lot. And though Leonard's hands were gentle and his voice nothing like Sam's her body reacted with increased panic. She wrenched away, pressing herself against the cage bars as far from Leonard as she could.

"I…" She gasped, waving him back. "I'm not hurt. I'm fine."

There was a snort. "Yer naght fahne." Leonard growled, his accent really strong in his annoyance. It was sexy. _Lord how is I can be capable of so many powerful conflicting emotions?_ Liv asked herself, forcing away as many emotions as she could, trying to find a small place of calm.

"I'm just a little shaken." Liv lied, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. "Just a little shaken is all."

A wave of warm calm hit her like a tidal wave, filling her and smothering out the flames of her other emotions. She'd been told Chris could do that but she'd never felt it so powerfully… "Better?" Chris asked with a soft gasp, as if the endeavor had taken a lot out of her.

"Yes, thanks." Liv murmured. _Now all I have to do is remain calm._ Liv thought to herself. _Focus Liv._ She scolded herself. _You have to focus and remain logical, Sam isn't here, he can't hurt you anymore. Jim needs you._ The thought of Jim steadier her, Jim needed her, and damn it all, she would man up.

Liv opened her eyes and nodded to Leonard. "I'm okay. Let's figure out how to get the hell outta here."

"Good girl." Leonard drawled, gently patting her back.

Leonard wasn't sure how long he'd been awake, there was no means of telling time without any natural light, but he'd guess about two hours, maybe more, maybe less. _Two hours…_ He thought_ Jim's been laying in a shit and gore encrusted cage, slowly bleeding out for two hours._ His best friend was dying, slowly, and there was nothing he could do to help him.

He and Livine had found the door, and how it opened. But there was no way in hell that they'd be able to force it open, or pick the lock. They'd tried for hours. All their attempts had gotten them was injuries.

His hands and wrists had scrapes from his forcing his hands through the bars. His fingertips were scraped from his attempts to pick the lock. But his hands were nothing to what their attempts had done to Livine.

She teetered on the edge of calm and panic and he could only guess at why. Each failed attempt forced her closer to panic and she had to stop and force herself to calm down- each time taking longer than the last.

"Livine," he murmured, gently closing his hands on her shoulders as she tried to pick their lock with nothing but her slender, delicate fingers. "Livine you're not going to get it."

"Don't tell me that." She snapped, shrugging off his hands. "We have to get this. We have to." She twisted her hand and Leonard heard a snap, followed almost immediately by a gasp.

"Fuck." He snarled, reaching his hands through the bars to untangle her hands from the lock. "I told you to stop." He growled as she pulled her hands back through the bars easily and cradled her left hand to her chest. He tugged his hands through the bars again, ignoring the bite of the metal.

"I broke it." Livine choked. Leonard could hear the tears in her voice.

"Let me see." Leonard ordered, gently taking her left arm and pulling so she would show him her hand. In the darkness his eyes could make out the bent and deformed shape of her index and middle fingers. "I can put them back, if you'll let me." He told her, feeling no nausea at the sight of her twisted fingers.

Livine didn't answer but she nodded vigorously, her eyes clamped shut though tears leaked from her closed eyes. "Deep breath." He murmured before quickly grabbing the index finger and pulling it straight, setting the bones by feel. Livine screamed in pain and sagged forward, her head dropping onto his shoulder. Awkwardly he rubbed her back. "Sorry Sugah, had to be done." He said gently, trying to comfort her. "You ready for the other one?" He asked. When she nodded again he grabbed her middle finger and tugged, feeling the bone shift along itself. Livine screamed again, this time the sound was muffled by his shoulder but still it reverberated around the room their 'cages' were in.

Livie gasped, whimpering as residual pain shot through her hand and into her arm. She'd never complain about modern bone-setting procedure EVER again. _God,_ she thought_, I forgot how much that hurts._ Maybe it hurt more because she was an adult and her bone were less plastic. Whatever the reason, it didn't much matter.

"Thanks," Liv gasped into Leonard's collar, sitting up slowly and blushing. She hadn't ever been so close to a man, willingly, since the last time they danced. In the darkness she saw his mouth open to answer when she heard a loud, grating sound of metal on stone.

Her head shot up, her eyes narrowed in the direction of the source of the sound. Who was coming? What was going to happen next? She heard Leonard shift to stand and his hands grabbed her arm to haul her upright. "This might be our only chance." He murmured into her ear, his hot breath ghosting across her ear, neck, and face. "Get ready to fight."

_Yea, right._ She thought sarcastically, _fight with two broken fingers and a mild concussion._ She hadn't told Leonard yet but she'd been having dizzy spells and every now and then her vision would blur. He'd been hit harder then her though, so she guessed he was experiencing something similar, or he just had a really thick skull…

The sound of feet moving down stairs reminded her of the situation though and Liv did what she could, she tensed her muscles and took a deep breath. She'd go down fighting damn it. _I'm not Sammie Kirk anymore._ She told herself. The alien that lumbered down the stairs she hadn't seen was pale in color and had antennae… _Andorian?_ Liv wondered.

"HEY!" Yelled Leonard, startling her. He plastered himself to the bars and began swinging at the weird looking Andorian. "Come here yer whelp!" Leonard jeered, Liv was astounded to see him land a few blows, despite the bars hindering him.

But neither his words or the blows bothered the alien who bent to open Chris' door. Liv heard the sound of feet on stone just before a second alien joined the first, this one paying attention to Leonard.

"Watch out!" She yelled but it was already too late. The hard metal shod butt of a wooden staff clipped Leonard directly in the chest, knocking him back from the bars and against the wall.

"Chris!" Leonard yelled hoarsely as Liv heard Chris scream in pain.

"Chrissy!" Liv yelled, trying to grab her friend through the bars as the two aliens carried the screaming girl down the corridor. "Chrissy!" In an instant the panic of Chris being taken shifted as, over her screams, she heard the groan of pain from Leonard. "Leonard!" She gasped, dropping to her knees beside him. His eyes were closed and his head lolled back and panic bloomed into terror. "LEONARD!" She yelled, gently shaking him.

AN: CLIFFIE! I said to some of you I wouldn't post because I had hw, and I still actually do, but I'm avoiding it by finishing this. Hope you love reading it as much as I am loving writing it. Tell me, is it pretty decent for action? We all know it's hard for my but it's kinda just… flowing. So I have to wonder at how good it is or isn't.

Remember REVIEW = PREVIEW!

Next week: Can Liv and Bones save the day? Is Leonard okay? Will Jim survive the blood loss and infection without permanent injury or death?


	12. It's Not Polite to Hit a Lady!

AN: Last chapter the action sort of flowed, I'm hoping this chapter will be the same. Enjoy my loves!

2258 – November 13th

Liv closed her eyes in a vain attempt to block Chris' screams from her mind. She was in so much pain… To scream like that… it had to be excruciating. "We have to get her out." Leonard growled from beside Liv.

"Thank God you're okay." She gasped, turning to touch his cheek. "I thought I'd lost you too." And the terror of being alone in the responsibility of saving their asses had nearly driven her to a panic attack.

Leonard laughed bitterly, a sound Liv could hardly hear over Chris' begging. "Not hardly. Ah'm Southern, Girl. Ah'm as tough as dey come."

Liv smiled slightly at the Deep South drawl he deliberately used. "Thank God for that." She murmured. "How do your ribs and head feel?"

Leonard sat up with a grunt of pain. "Fahne. Jus' fahne." He groaned, touching a single hand to the back of his head. "How long Ah be'n out?"

Liv bit her lip. "Less than ten minutes. They took Chris into another room but she struggled so she's slowin' them down some. I don't think they're doing anything too terrible right now…"

"No! No HOT! Please No!" Chris' screams interrupted.

Liv closed her eyes and bit her lip. She remembered the pain of fire… "Okay, never mind."

"We 'ave ta get to 'er, Liv." Leonard growled.

Liv's head snapped up at the desperation in his voice. "Sorry to break it to you Leonard, but I'm pretty damned sure she's in love with Spock. And that the feeling is mutual."

He snorted. "Ah aint sure the damned hobgoblin can love. But Ah know, he loves her as much as he can. She's jest… she's mah only friend besides Jim." Liv didn't know why but his answer relaxed a knot that had tightened between her shoulders. "But we 'ave ta 'elp 'er."

Liv bit back tears as she listened to Chris' cries. _What language is she speaking?_ She wondered, hearing the different cadence to Chris' voice. "Well we can't do a damned thing right now, Leonard. Just hope she survives."

Chris' screams died down and Liv felt her heart stop. _Good God no, please no._ She thought, for a moment totally convinced her friend was dead. One of the two aliens shuffled back down the hall and Liv threw herself at the bars.

"BASTARD! She's just a KID!" A lucky blow caught the tall alien's head and Liv took the opportunity to wrap a hand around his antenna. The alien screamed, turning to shake her loose. "FUCK you!" Liv yelled, ignoring the hands at her back, trying to pull her off. She pulled on the antenna as the hands on her waist hauled her off the bars.

"Damnit Livine!" Leonard yelled, lunging forward to grab the little blonde's waist and haul her off the bars. She didn't need cracked ribs too damn it. He needed her in her best shape if her were going to get the hell out…

_Chris isn't dead._ He told himself. _She isn't dead, stay calm. Damn it STAY CALM!_ He wanted to help her, to kill the fucking alien for hurting, and possibly killing, his little friend, but he couldn't let Liv get herself killed too.

"Stop it girl!" He yelled, pulling her off the bars and into his arms.

"FUCKER!" Liv screamed, fighting in his arms. "I'm gonna KILL YOU!" The greenish alien scurried away, grasping his head as if it hurt. _A weakness,_ Leonard noted,_ something we can exploit. Good girl Livine._

"Calm down!" He snapped and immediately she stopped struggling, her whole body going limp to sob. "Damnit girl she aint dead!" He lied. "She got them to stop hurting her so she's saving her energy. Chris aint dead."

Under normal circumstances Leonard would have felt awkward holding Livine as she sobbed, terrified for their friend. How he longed for anything resembling normal…

"Bones…" croaked Jim from the cage across from them. "You better not be feelin' up my Livie."

Leonard choked on a shocked, odd laugh. "No worries Jim." He teased back, feeling oddly light at hearing his best friend's voice. Jim was still alive and still making conversation (ish), that was a great sign. "How yeh holdin' up?" He asked the younger man as Liv sniffled and giggled, relaxing in his hold before pulling away to stand alone.

"Just dandy." Jim lied through his teeth. Leonard could hear the the hitch of Jim's breath, he was in so much pain but he wasn't admitting to it. "Livie? You okay?"

Liv, who leaned against the bars with her eyes closed, shook her head. "No. I'm in a fucking CAGE and Chris was screaming her head off and now she's silent."

For a long moment no one said anything. Then Jim whispered, "You're not Sammie Kirk anymore. And this isn't Sam's dog kennel in the basement."

_What the FUCK?!?!_ Leonard's mind screamed. _Kennel… basement?_

But Liv opened her eyes and they were steady. She forcefully wiped the tears from her cheeks and she nodded once. "Yea, you're right Jimmy." The sound of stone against metal caught their attention and Leonard turned to watch the alien return. With it was another alien, taller, broader, and wearing an ornately decorated leather sarong and chest plate. _Someone of power._ He thought, memorizing the alien's clothing and build. _He's in charge._

He walked to the bars of the 'cage' as the aliens passed. He spat on them, glaring. "When Ah get out," he drawled in his most menacing voice (yes he did have one), "Ah'm gonna make sure you never hurt anyone else ever again." _Ah'm gonna fucking kill you for touching mah friends._ He finished to himself, not wanting to show the particularly violent and possessive streak he possessed.

The wooden shaft capped with metal flew at him again. But Leonard was ready for it. He dodged back and grabbed the shaft, wrenching it from the Guard's grasp. Metal clanged on metal and the door was wrenched open, it swung outward. Leonard swung the staff as best he could in the enclosed space. He caught one end on the bars but managed to land a weak blow on the guard's left side.

It hardly affected the green beast who grabbed the staff, wrenched it from Leonard's hands, and threw a punch hard enough to knock his feet out from under him. _Damnit that hurts…_He thought as he stared at the ceiling of the cage. He heard the metal door close and suddenly Liv's face filled his vision.

"You're an idiot. What was the point of that?" She snapped.

Leonard sighed. "Ah dunno. Ah'm a doctor, not a fighter, damnit." He groaned, shifting his back. _Mah head hurts worse now…_ His vision was blurred too, worse than before. He was just worsening his concussion.

Liv snorted and gently brushed blood from his jaw with her good hand. He was bleeding? His face hurt… he licked his lips and immediately tasted the metallic tang of blood. "At least we know the door swings out now." Liv murmured, brushing her hand across her leg to wipe away the blood.

"That helps?" Leonard asked, closing his eyes as Chris' screams began again. _On the plus side,_ he thought bitterly, _at least she's still alive and Ah didn't lie to Liv. Liv would nevah have forgiven meh for lyin'._

Liv closed her eyes and bit her lips again, struggling with some emotion or memory Leonard wasn't sure he wanted to be privy to. "Yea." She said finally, seemingly forcing the words out. "Yea it does. Now all we have to do is hope my slightly crazy plan works and Chris isn't dead by the time we can implement it."

"That's my Livie." Jim murmured, half asleep from across the way. Panic and fear welled up in Leonard's chest before he quashed it. _Jim's too damned stubborn ta die._ He told himself, praying it was true.

The well dressed Alien had left over and hour ago and Chris' screams had long become hoarse cries. But each time she cried out Liv's mind supplied her with a painful memory to match. Chris cried out as a whip cracked.

_Blood dripped from Liv's back and her lip. With each crack pain bloomed but she dare not make a sound. So instead she bit her lip and cried silent, terrified tears. Would Sam kill her tonight?_

"Livie!" Jim gasped, his voice fitting in with her terrible memory.

"_Livie, I'm home!" Jim yelled from the main floor. If she yelled he might be able to stop Sam. But he might get hurt doing so. His arm was already broken…_

"_Livie!"_ "LIVIE!"_ "Damn it girl where are you?" Footsteps above her as the wood creaked. Dust fell, drifting to stick to her bloodied back._

"_Don't say a word." Sam snarled. "Or he'll get it worse." The whip was put away, hung on the wall like a trophy, the blonde leather tips stained red. The rope that held her wrists painfully tight loosened, fell away. Livie fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, cradling her chaffed wrists and arching her bloodied, savaged back._

"_Are you even home?"_

"LIVIE!" Hands curled around her shoulders and shook her, jolting her from her memory. With a yelp she struck out, her broken hand catching on a firm, warm body.

Leonard grunted in pain as she yelped, cradling her hand. "Damn it girl!" Leonard snarled, grabbing her wrist and shaking his head. "Lord knows what I'm gonna do with yeh. Save it for the enemy, not meh."

"Sorry." Liv whispered, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth against the pain as Leonard checked and reset her fingers.

"Sam?" Jim asked.

"Yea." Liv whispered back, tipping her head against the bars.

"Ah feel lahke Ah'm missin' somethin' big." Leonard growled.

"Yea." Liv murmured, turning her face from him. He wasn't a friend. He was Jim's friend. But family problems were family problems. _"Don't say a word."_ "You don't need to know." She told her boss softly, fighting back the guilt and shame. She was a victim no more. She was a fighter.

"Livie, what was that plan?" Jim asked softly. "I sort of dozed."

"McCoy's gonna play unconscious and I'm gonna make them angry enough to open the door. Then we get the keys and get the hell outta dodge." Liv murmured, knowing her plan had tons of holes. "I made an enemy of that guard, the one whose antenna I pulled."

"Well…" Jim's voice was drowned out by the footfalls along the stone floor. "Be safe." Jim whispered as Leonard settled himself back on the floor where he'd been knocked back. Liv stood and pulled on all her anger and fear and hate and used it to keep herself steady. She hated playing a key part in any plan…

The alien came to her door and leered, speaking to her in some foreign language. _Maybe I ought to get Chris or Uhura to teach me some xenolinguistics…_ She thought distantly as she spat on the alien. "Come on asshole. Try me." She taunted with false bravo. The alien lifted the key and panic thrilled through her. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. _She thought as the key clicked in the lock.

With a scream she rushed the door as Leonard leapt to his feet and joined her.

Adrenaline flooded Leonard's veins, giving him strength he didn't really have as he crashed into the metal door and forced it backward. The Alien dropped backward, the door hitting his head with a nasty cracking sound. He hated and loved the thrill of vindication he felt. _Ah'm a doctor, not a murderer._ He told himself but he found he didn't really care.

"Let's get him in the cell, just in case he wakes up." Liv murmured, grabbing an arm. Leonard mimicked the action and together they hauled the alien into their cell. "Enjoy asshole." Liv snarled as she locked the door.

"Go get Chris." Jim ordered them from his position on the floor, his voice hardly loud enough to hear over Chris' screams. If he thought the orders were stupid he'd or ignored them but Leonard was thankful for them for once. He didn't have to choose between Jim and Chris. "I'll be okay for a little longer."

Together he and Liv headed toward the sounds of Chris' torture. Liv shot him a glance and he noticed the dark, haunted look in her eyes. "What happens in this room stays I this room, got it?" She asked sharply. "We'll never talk about what we're about to do."

Leonard nodded. He didn't ever want to remember the entire ordeal, let alone what he was about to do. Because under the violent rage was his healers nature that balked at the violence he planned. They burst into the room.

Chris was tied and hanging from the ceiling, the alien whirled around to face them eyes wide, a bloodied whip in one hand. Leonard's shock and horror at the sight made him hesitate an instant. Liv didn't.

She barreled into the room and wrenched the whip from the alien's hand, turning the weapon and jamming the handle into the alien's face. As it (he?) fell back, blue blood flowing from its face, it hit Liv and sent her flying into a rack holding blood and gore covered things… _Torture devices?_ He half wondered as he stepped into the room, up to the prone alien, and kicked it with a grunt of effort.

The alien grabbed his leg and pulled. As the floor rushed up to him Leonard thought, _Huh, that was a bad idea._ It should have worried him how detached he'd allowed himself to become, as if his rage controlled his body without any real thought. The alien rolled above Leonard, its fist raised to strike him. _Oh this is gonna really hurt…_ He thought.

A war cry-like yell interrupted the blow and his thoughts as Liv leapt onto the alien's back, dropping the whip onto Leonard's chest. The alien reared back, arms waving, with Liv hanging on its back like a monkey, her hands wrapped around the antennae and pulling.

As the alien shifted to its feel Leonard rolled to his own, finding the whip in his hands. A pained gasp and a thud caught his attention and he glanced back up. Liv slid down the wall, her head lolling to one side as blood flowed down her neck. The Alien turned to face her, apparently discounting Leonard, and lifted its fist.

"No." Leonard snarled. "Don't touch her." He roared and moved without thinking. The alien struggled, fighting Leonard's hold, but on its knees, with the whip wrapped around its neck and pulled tight, it couldn't force him off. Finally it stopped struggling but Leonard didn't let go until a full minute more had passed.

As Leonard stepped back he looked down at the very dead alien before lifting Liv to her feet. "Yeh alright?" He asked her gently, tapping her cheek to bring her back to focus. "Ah need yeh on yer feet. Come on." He couldn't get them out alone.

Her face shifted in and out of focus but he could tell when she nodded. "Yea." She breathed deeply. "Yea, I'm okay." She struggled to stand on her own but pulled away from his grasp even though she swayed. "Lets go."

Liv's dizzy spells were much worse after the fight. Her eyes couldn't quite seem to focus, but at least her inner ear was working enough to keep herself, and Chris, up right as they struggled down the hall. Chris wasn't conscious much, but considering her physical state that didn't much surprise Liv. But at least she was managing to half hobble on her good leg.

Liv's blurred vision wasn't so bad, however, that when they stumbled across a pantry of sorts that she didn't recognize the opportunity. "Leonard!" Liv called softly, her voice low but carrying up to where he lead, Jim hefted over his shoulders.

"What?" He hissed back, his drawl annoyed and worried.

"We need a safe place to hide." Liv called. "I have an idea."

"Fahne!" He called back with a huff. Moments later he ducked into a small room. When Liv and Chris hobbled to join them he's stronger arms took Chris from her shoulders to set her on the ground before grabbing her chin. "Yeh alraght?" He asked, peering into her face.

"Fine. I just have an idea. I'll be right back." She dodged his hands and turned to run back down the hall they'd come down. "Have them ready to run!"

Silently she ducked into the storage room she'd seen and crouched low as she heard footsteps outside the door. They continued past her. There were too many guards, they'd never get out. Not without a damned good distraction. The dark room was lit by a small glowing fireplace, well out of distance of all the stored goods.

_Perfect_ she thought bitterly. Looking around she saw exactly what she was looking for. Swiftly she ripped her dirty, but dry, shirt into long strips and tied them together. _I knew there was a reason these shirts weren't fire-retardant_, she thought with a little grin. Gingerly she tucked one end of her shirt-rope under what she'd been searching for and guided the other end toward the fireplace. _Eight feet or so…_ she thought, doing a quick mental calculation. _Should be long enough._

Taking a smaller strip, Liv ducked her hand near the small but pleasant fire, letting the fabric ignite. The flame danced up the fabric faster than Liv had thought it would. _FUCK!_ Liv thought, throwing the burning fabric strip onto the longer one and turning to run. _Run, run, RUN!_ She chanted to herself, hauling ass back to Leonard.

Thankfully he was ready and Chris leaned against a wall ready for Liv to grab her. "Run!" she ordered them harshly. "Run now!"

Leonard didn't need telling twice.

The entire complex shook under Leonard's feet and he shot a quick glance at Livine. _Lord, girl, what did you do?_ He wondered, not having the breath to ask her. Almost immediately Leonard could hear yelling in the alien language and footsteps running down the hall, toward where they'd come from. _Well Ah'll be._ He thought, _Girl's defiantly a Kirk._

Livine just grinned and hoisted Chris higher. Her eyes, which were slightly unfocused he noticed, flicked his way and her brows rose. Leonard didn't even see what hit her but next thing he knew she had dropped Chris- making his poor friend scream- and went sailing backward- again. _Lord these monsters are strong._ He thought in the same detached manner as before.

He settled Jim on the ground and stepped between his friends and the green brute. "It ain't polite to hit a lady." He snarled, dodging the first blow with the ornate staff. He lunged for the weapon and snagged it, instead of pulling it from the alien's hands he shoved forward, toppling the alien over backward. He pulled the staff free but didn't need to use it. Blue blood flowed to quickly surround the alien's head. _Huh,_ he thought, _guess the old adage is true._

Liv struggled to her feet beside him, her shoulders slumping. Worry flashed through his detachment. She was looking worse and worse for wear. _One too many more hits and she might not get up again. _That thought only added fuel to his NEED to get them out. _Another P.A. aint gonna die on my watch._ He promised himself.

"Get movin', Girl." He growled, lifting Chris back onto her shoulders. He could see sunlight and hear fighting. _A rescue?_ "Ah'm right behind yeh." She nodded shakily and took off at a slow jog. _Ah have to get her back to the ship._ He thought before glancing back down at Jim.

Carefully he pulled his friend into an alcove. "Ah'll be right back, Jim." He promised before turning and heading back toward the darkened halls. He had something to finish before he left.

His errand took him less time than he imagined and he was back to Jim in no time. "Hey Kid." He greeted his unconscious captain and friend before lifting him back onto his shoulders. He grunted. "Lord you need to lose weight." He murmured, taking off toward the dappled green sunlight as fast as he could manage with Jim's weight on his aching back.

But Leonard's body had clearly taken more than it could handle. As he hit the open air his knees began to shake under his weight and his relief…

Liv was so relieved that she and Chris were out she could hardly care about anything else. Anything except Jim… She heard murmured and the sound of people moving, turning, to face the entrance to the compound she'd been kept in. Panic filled her, spurned her into motion though she was so damned tired.

She spun around, her slightly unfocused eyes searching. What she saw was something she doubted she'd ever forget.

Leonard stepped from the shadows into the dying sunlight, his body silhouetted against the red glow of the sun. Liv, and two of the Med staff, ran forward. They reached Leonard just as he seemed to lose all strength. The Staff took Jim and Liv caught Leonard, surprised to find herself crying.

"I've got you." She whispered to her boss as he sagged. "It's okay now." But it wasn't. Not yet. And she knew it. Jim and Chris still needed medical attention and they damn well needed the best- which was Liv and Leonard.

But apparently Leonard knew it too because he straightened, taking all his weight of Liv's aching shoulder, and squared his shoulders. "Spock get this crew the hell back to the _Enterprise._ Have Liv, Jim, Chris and myself transported directly to sick bay, and let's get the hell out of here."

Liv watched as Spock looked like he might argue. "I trust the situation is dealt with."

"Yes." Leonard growled and Liv saw the sunlight glint off blue blood that stained his shirtfront, hands, and speckled his face. "It's been dealt with." Liv decided she didn't want to know.

Hours later Liv lay beside Jim in a biobed, letting Leonard fuss over her. Chris had taken so much effort to get stabilized but she'd be fine- as would Jim. But she was so damned tired, after everything she'd been through, that she couldn't find enough energy to argue with Leonard that he should rest too. She'd already seen to him, after stabilizing Chris and setting the dermal regenerator, and miraculously he'd only suffered one cracked rib, four more bruised ribs, and a mild concussion. Clearly he had a thick skull.

And he was talking to her. "Wha?" Liv asked, cracking open a single eye to look up at him.

"Ah asked what did yeh do back there? What did yeh have to blow up?" He asked, a very small smile on his lips.

"Flour." Liv murmured, smiling. "Very crude flour."

"Yeh blew up flour?" He asked and she could hear the smile in his drawl. She wondered about why she was so comfortable with him all of a sudden and if she would revert back to normal once she'd had a good rest. She didn't quite care.

"Mhmm. Compressed flour is combustible. Jim and I found that out as kids." She murmured.

Gentle hands touched her scalp, checking manually for injuries. It felt almost good, sort of soothing. "Lord Ah can jus' imagine that. You two blowin' stuff up as kids."

Liv snickered. "You have no idea."

AN: so, what do you think my doves? Good action chapter? It sort of flowed again so that's why I'm posting again so soon. Hope you enjoy.

Next time: Christmas!

And Remember review = preview!

Ciao!


	13. What Do You Give?

AN: Taking a break from action once again and going back to what I love. Drama. So here comes Christmas! We'll cover the weeks leading up to Christmas, the party, and gift giving. Enjoy!

2258 – November 14th 0530 Hours

Leonard woke with a jolt, his alarm pulling him from a nightmare of violence and blood. _What did I do?_ He asked himself, eyes closed as he snapped. "Computer, alarm off." _How can I call myself a doctor after what I've done?_ The noise ended and he sighed, pulling himself upright. _I did what I had to._ He told himself, as if it would excuse his actions. It didn't make him feel better at all.

0600 Hours

Leonard walked into his office, his eyes focused onto a PADD. _I'm a monster._ He thought, _How can I practice healing after what my hands have done?_ He glanced up to find his chair. Immediately his eyes were drawn to the silver wrapped, long, thin bar. He peered at the label and fought a smile.

_Who did I tell that I like Dark chocolate?_ He wondered, sitting down and grabbing the small note that lay a top the chocolate bar.

**Leonard,** it read. **It's not much but it's all I had under such short notice. You're my hero. –Livine**

_Her hero?_ He wondered _I'm a murderer._

A voice in his head, one that sounded suspiciously like Jim, said, _Murderer? You? Bones you're a healer and a protector. Liv is right, you're a hero._

"Morning." Said a soft voice, jolting him out of his reverie. He looked up to see Liv lounging in his doorway, her eyes nervous and her arms around her waist in a protective stance. "Don't beat yourself up about it."

He shook his head. "Ah went back and killed him, Livine." He admitted. "Ah killed him. It was murder."

Livine snorted, her eyes darkened and bitter. "The one in charge?" Leonard nodded. "Good. Maybe knowing that I won't have nightmares of him hunting us down and torturing us to death." Leonard's gut clenched and he took a good look at his PA.

Liv looked worse for wear. Much better than she had, with blood matted to her hair, down her neck, and down her back, bruises and broken fingers splinted with nothing but ripped cloth. But still she looked terrible. Her skin was paler than usual, her eyes more frightened than he'd seen then in months, and under her eyes were dark bags and a single bruise.

"Damnit," he muttered, standing and grabbing a small dermal regenerator. "Ah missed that shiner." She didn't tense up when he stepped closer to her, he noticed as he grasped her chin and tipped her face so he could tend the bruise. She could have tended it, he knew, and it clearly wasn't bothering her, but it made him feel remarkably better to tend the small injury.

She offered him a small smile. "Feel better?" She asked, not meeting his eyes but not moving away. She was more comfortable with him…

He smiled wryly. "Yea." He murmured, surprised but pleased to find he wasn't lying.

Livine nodded and slid out of his grasp easily. "Enjoy the chocolate. I'm gonna go get some coffee." She had taken a step from his office when she hesitated and glanced back at him. "Want some?"

2258 - December 1st 1925 Hours

Jim huffed as he settled next to Liv, perching on the arm of her chair. "Livie, I need your help again." He muttered.

Liv glanced up at her twin, sensing he was upset and slightly embarrassed. "Sure Jimmy, what's up?" She asked softly, knowing he didn't want those around them to overhear.

"Come with me." Jim said softly, grabbing her arm and dragging her from the room. Liv just let him, smiling slightly. Something REALLY was bugging him. It was kind of sweet to see her twin unsure of himself.

Only when they were safely in his quarters did he meet her eyes- blue meeting blue. "I don't know what to get Nyota." He said miserably, dropping into his desk chair and covering his face with his hands. "Damn it, I've never really cared about a girl like I do her, Liv. I dunno what I'm doing."

Liv's small smile grew as something akin to excitement flooded through her veins. "You love her, don't you?" Jim nodded miserably. "Why are you upset Jimmy?" She asked, perching on his desk and rubbing his back gently. "This is great."

"But Liv…" Jim's eyes rose to meet hers again, "You know how damaged we are. I'm not stupid, I know it too. I'm no good for her."

"Jimmy," Liv murmured, "You're not 'no good'." She couldn't believe that. She WOULDN'T believe that, because it meant that she was REALLY no good for anyone. "You love her, and if she loves you she'll put up with your… oddities." It was a nice way to say it but neither of them were idiotic enough to try and deny the fact that they just weren't like other people.

"I haven't told her yet." Jim murmured, leaning back against her legs and somehow arching his back into her hands, silently asking. She shifted her fingers, letting her dull nails trail over his undershirt. "I don't want to scare her away."

Liv couldn't blame him for not telling Nyota, their childhood… it was terrible. But if Nyota was going to be family then she ought to know. "You should tell her." Liv prompted softly. "Tell her what you went through." Not what _they_ went through, just what _he_ went through. Liv's past was hers to share or not. "But after Christmas. For Christmas you need to give her a gift that says 'I love you and I'm serious about us'."

Jim pouted. "But… what gift says that Livie?"

Liv snickered softly, gently tapping the back of his head in teasing. "Very nice jewelry. It's a girl's best friend after all." She ruffled his hair, which was only slightly shorter than her own close cropped locks. "I'll even help you pick it out, if you need it."

Jim smiled up at her. "You're the best. You do know that, right?" They'd asked each other the same question many, many times over the years. When the other had saved them from one thing or another. To Liv this wasn't worth the loving tease but clearly the whole thing meant that much to Jim… He was really worried about it.

"You can return the favor." Liv said, brushing off the praise as usual. _Jim's the great one of the two of us, I'm just his back-up._ She told herself, quite liking the arrangement.

"How?" Jim asked slowly, distrustfully. He knew her far too well. But a prank wasn't what she had in mind, for once.

"Since Leonard saved our asses and his kid is my Joey… what do I get him for Christmas?" Liv was a little nervous, giving her boss a gift. Sure she'd given Nick gifts when she was his assistant, typically huge ass coffee mugs with packets of different, exotic blends in them.

Jim shrugged under her hands. "Dunno, the only two things I know he loves are his daughter and his horses." Jim sagged. "Sorry."

But Liv didn't see that as a failure… It actually gave her a pretty good idea…

Leonard sat beside Chris and glared at nothing in particular. "You're agitated." Chris murmured, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

He bit back a snort. Agitated was an understatement. He'd been considering what to give Livine Kirk for Christmas since the planet exploration gone wrong. She'd been instrumental to getting the whole group out alive, he couldn't have done it alone. And while he might have come up with the escape plan she had, eventually, she had still thought of it first. But nothing he could think of was a good enough present for the darned woman.

"Ah dunno what to give Livine for Christmas." He growled at Chris softly, knowing her Vulcan ears would pick up his words. "Ah need ta get her sumthin'. She's mah best friend's twin, mah PA."

Chris nodded. "And she was really amazing under pressure last month. Jim told me she loves horses, so I'm getting her a beautiful painting of horses in a field. But I don't really know much about her aside from that." She frowned slightly. "Weird, right? She's what I'd call a friend but she hardly talks about herself…"

Leonard nodded. Chris had noticed it too. "She's not very trustin' or open." With an annoyed sigh Leonard stood. "Ah gotta go get Gamma shift ready. Evenin' Chris, thanks fer tryin' ta help meh."

2258 – December 24th 2005 Hours

Liv wandered into the Mess Hall, smiling slightly. The crew would be praising Jimmy's inventiveness and Christmas cheer for weeks. Galia had, as she'd promised Liv, out done Halloween by far. It wasn't the enchanted, dark, whimsical event Halloween had been, it was just as Liv had hoped, homey, close, and warm.

She smiled when she saw Chris peering at the Egg Nog (which Jim had provided the recipe for but NOT made, Liv knew better than to let her twin near food) with Leonard peering over her shoulder. They were talking softly. Had she not known them as well she'd say they were comfortable but there was something to the tenseness of Leonard's shoulders and back (she couldn't see his face) and Chris was clearly picking up on it.

But Jimmy was less perceptive, for once, as he bounded exhuberantly over to them, past Liv, and dropped obscenely garish Santa hats on both their heads. She realized immediately what was wrong when Leonard snarled at Jim and stormed off but didn't remove the hat. Quickly she joined Jim and Chris, determined to play interference.

"He's really hurting tonight." Chris scolded Jim.

"He misses Joanna." Liv murmured, smiling slightly as Chris jumped. "Joanna loves this holiday and he's missing her. The Bitch won't let him, or me, call her, so he can't even tell his little girl 'Merry Christmas'."

Liv watched as the caring younger woman tensed and looked over at Leonard. "Do you think…?" She started and Liv knew the look in her eyes. But she also had a sneaking suspicion of what Chris was aiming for with the whole Christmas season thing, Spock was as dense as a freaking brick as far as Liv was concerned.

Liv gently placed a hand on her arm, quieting her. "Don't worry about him tonight, Chrissy. I'll take care of him." _If I can manage to not run away from him when he growls._ She thought bitterly. "You just think of a way to make a certain handsome man stop being so damned dense." Chris blushed and actually giggled slightly. Jim just looked confused. Liv took his focus on Chris as a perfect opportunity to slip away. Quietly she made her way to Leonard's side.

"Hey," she greeted him, leaning back against the wall he leaned on, just close enough that her inner child cringed at the proximity. Pushing her boundaries helped her learn, just like with horses. Leonard just growled. "I'm sorry," she said softly, offering him a quick look. "I know Joey wants to be able to at least talk with you, but she'll have so much fun skiing."

He sighed, his head tapping against the wall. "Yea, Ah know." He growled. "Ah jus'… Ah miss her."

Liv bit her lip, her mind running around in circles as she considered… "Come on." She said, grabbing his wrist to drag him from the room.

He followed her, clearly letting her tow him along. His submissive reaction helped Liv relax a little, her heartbeat settling back down to an almost normal rate. His wrist in her hand was warm (why was he always so warm?) but not threatening. "Where are yeh taking meh?" He asked and she could almost hear the slight, amused grin.

"I'm going to give you your Christmas gift a little early." Liv answered, opening her rooms to let him follow her in. It was less nerve wracking than it had been at Halloween, to have him in her rooms. She wondered if it was because he'd been in them before and been a perfect gentleman or because they'd had the whole incident in November to push them closer. Either way it was kind of nice, not being so damned afraid.

Liv released him and grabbed a singular wrapped package from her desk and handed it to him, blushing slightly. "Just… don't tell Joey I gave it to you early. She'll be really annoyed at me."

Livine's blush made him curious, as did the mention of Joanna, so Leonard took the package from her slender, graceful hands. "You didn't have to." He told her, feeling just a little inadequate. The gift he'd gotten for her was tiny, the package in his hands had a fair bit of weight to it.

"Just open it." Livine murmured, blushing deeper. _She looks good when she blushes._ He thought absently as he carefully opened the paper.

"Livine…" he said softly as the gift slid from the paper, his heart constricting. "How did you get this?" He asked, tracing his fingers along the old photo, one Jocelyn hadn't let him take. Joanna smiled up at him from the picture, her little three-year old grin teasing and playful and the exact double of the one on his own face in the picture. They sat together on Darkness' back, Joanna tucked against his chest as he taught her to ride.

"I'm just good like that." Livine murmured, smiling. "Press the little button on the back. But hold it upright when you do."

Leonard placed the paper in the trash can and lifted the picture frame before pressing the small button on the back. Joanna appeared against the far wall, smiling. "Hi Daddy!" She said, waving at him gleefully. "Merry Christmas Eve! I love you!" His heart constricted painfully and he had to fight back the pricking of tears in his eyes. _My baby girl…_

He shot a glance at Livine, who was grinning. "She recorded a bunch of greetings for me. It has a calendar in it so tomorrow it'll say 'Merry Christmas'. And on New Years it'll say 'Happy New Years', and on you're birthday it'll say…"

Leonard couldn't help himself, the gift was just too perfect. He swept the blonde into a tight hug, cutting off her rambling. "Thank you Livine." He felt her tense up, going ram-rod straight in his hold and he quickly let her go, realizing his lapse. "Sorry."

She just shook her head but he noticed she wouldn't meet his eyes. "No biggie, you startled me is all." He knew it was probably more than that but he didn't press the issue.

"Here," he said a little gruffly, placing the picture on her desk and fishing out his gift for her from his pocket.

Liv nearly panicked when a single hand gently encircled her wrist, pulling her hand forward, but she stamped down on the emotion. _He won't hurt me, he won't hurt me._ She chanted to herself.

"It's not much," he said gruffly, slowly, "but Merry Christmas." His hand released her wrist but only so something else could encircle it. His hands moved deftly at her wrist, tying something. When he moved his hands Liv looked down at what he'd wrapped around her wrist.

Dark chocolate and black leather encircled her pale wrist, just a top the white sleeve of her shirt. The bracelet was… beautiful. Hand braided it held a metal circle about the size of an old quarter with a horse roughly etched into it. "Look Ah know it's not much…" He began, filling the silence as she stared at it. "If yeh don't lahke it…"

She placed her hand on his arm, silencing him. "It's beautiful. Did you make it?" She glanced up at him and could see the blush under the day's worth of scruff on his cheeks. He nodded, green eyes embarrassed. She smiled brightly. "It's wonderful Leonard, thank you." Maybe, one day, she'd be able to express to him the powerful emotion the gift had filled her with. Indeed, she hoped that one day she might be able to explain the emotion to herself.

So instead she laughed softly, more to break the silence than because she was amused. "Come on, let's get back to the party. Jim will be absolutely unbearable if he noticed we ran off."

AN: Part one of the Christmas chapter. Part two will be up next in which There will be terrible singing, gifts given, and amusement for all. Love you all my doves!

Remember review = preview!

Also give me ideas for what the crew should give each other. I'm mostly worried about gifts to and from Liv, Jim, and Bones but the others matter too and if you give me a GREAT idea for the other I'll mention it and give you props in the AN at the end of next chapter.


	14. Candy Cane Martinis

AN: Ch 14, YAY! The rest of Christmas, picking up just a little after where Ch 13 ended. Enjoy my doves!

2258 – December 24th 2045 Hours

Liv smiled slightly as Jimmy sang "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree'. He wasn't terrible but he wasn't great.

"Who gave that kid ah mic?" Leonard growled from her side, making her jump slightly. She hadn't noticed him rejoin the party.

She glanced at him and noticed the cup of Egg Nog, which he'd told Chris he wouldn't drink. Liv grinned slightly. "Me." She admitted, "Jimmy always loved that song but Fra…" She stopped mid-word suddenly realizing exactly what she was about to say. But the curious look in Leonard's green eyes made her know she had to finish the sentence. "…frankly Mom was never big on this holiday. Apparently it was my Dad's favorite."

Leonard nodded sagely, seemingly satisfied with her little lie. She felt almost guilty lying to him, she liked him as much as she liked any guy who wasn't Blake or Jim, but Family business was family business.

"Yeh going ta join 'im?" Leonard asked as Nyota and Galia took the mics from Jim and stepped onto the little stage. "Sing somethan' for us? Or yeh as bad as 'e is?"

Liv sniffed, pouting. "I'm not great but I'm better than Jim." She caught Chris' eye and smiled slightly at the other blonde. "And I'm supposed to sing with Chris later. Although I'm sure Jimmy will want me to sing something with him too." She shot him a sly glance. "You gonna sing? Chris tells me you're actually pretty darned good."

Leonard blushed again, the sight immediately triggering the feeling of his slightly callused fingers on her wrist and a tiny thrill of excitement. _What the hell…_ She thought. "Ah might be considerin' a song or two. Somethin' ta send Joanna later, so she don' think her Dad's ah humbug."

Liv smiled slightly. "She'd love that. She says she loved hearing you sing." Scotty stepped from the stage, finally, and Liv grinned. "Wish me luck." She teased, leaping up onto the stage and snatching up mics before anyone else could. "Folks, Chris and I are going to sing our favorite Christmas Songs for you. Don't worry, we're better than my twin." Liv offered her hand down to Chris and the blonde took it, looking slightly nervous.

Leonard watched Livine and Chris sing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". She'd been telling the truth, Livine, she could sing better than Jim. In fact, he noticed, she was just as gifted as Chris. _Why does she always sing back up? Literally and figuratively._ He wondered, watching her. _Why does she never take the solo or take the credit for anything?_

She'd brushed off his thanks for the picture of Joanna. She'd brushed off her part in their escape the month before. She had an amazing voice but was only singing back-up… Livine Kirk was an odd woman. She seemed to like being the one behind the scenes.

Leonard looked around at the party decorations and at the looks on the crewmen's faces. Livine had arranged the party. Jim had claimed he had but Leonard knew Jim. The party had Livine's name written all over it, not Jim's. He looked back up at Liv, watching her intently as he drank the toxic egg nog. He was missing something key about her, he knew it, but he just couldn't figure it out…

The song finished and she slid off stage as the applauding for Chris continued, slinking away to a darker corner. Leonard followed her with his eyes, clapping for Chris like everyone else. She stepped under the most concentrated white lights, at the bar, and Leonard was struck by something he'd been deliberately avoiding noticing.

Livine was beautiful. From the sharp but precise angle of her petite nose to the striking, but not feminine, angle of her jaw and cheekbones. Jocelyn had looked like an angel (or at least her face had) but Livine looked like a goddess, sharp and regal. A trait she shared with Jim. But looking at her now he saw more differences in them than similarities.

The tenderness in the bleed-me-blue eyes, the soft curve of her lips (which were plumper than Jim's), the slightly defensive set to her shoulders, even the shock of her short hair (which had grown rapidly so it was about three inches long as opposed to an inch and a half). All of it made her so very different from Jim, and very, very beautiful. He'd become a doctor to tend, to protect, and that same instinct was kicked into over-drive looking at Livine. She wasn't as frail looking, physically, as Chrissy, but Chris didn't make his instinct kick in like Livine did.

_Good Lord,_ he thought with a start, _I'm lustin' after my P.A._ It took some effort, turning his eyes away from Livine, but he managed it. _Show some restraint man._ He scolded himself.

"Hey," Livine said from his elbow and he jumped slightly, his eyes shifting to hers.

"Hey." He responded, taking the full drink she offered, tossing his empty cup into the close-by trashcan. With the lights no longer illuminating her as perfectly he felt the attraction much less than he had moments before, but still there was a slight pull. One he could ignore very easily. He relaxed slightly. "Looks like Jim wants to sing again." He said, nodding toward where Jim stood, trying to get her attention. "Looks like you're up again."

She sighed, making an annoyed face. "Great…" She downed her drink and tossed it into the trashcan also. "I'm not drunk enough for this." She complained, leaping up onto the stage to join Jim. Leonard laughed softly, wondering what Jim had planned that had Livine so worried.

Jim grinned as the music started and passed a mic to his twin. "Grandma got run over by a reindeer," He sang ruccusly, clearly more than a little drunk. "Walking home from our house Christmas eve!"

Livine grinned, blushing slightly as she finished the verse. "You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Jimmy, we believe." She snatched the cup of Egg Nog from Jim's free hand and brandished it slightly adding. "She'd been drinking too much Egg Nog. And we begged her not to go."

"But she'd left her medication," Jim sang, snatching back his drink. "So she stumbled out the door into the snow! Whe they found her Christmas Mornin' At the scene of the attack…"

"There were hoof prints on her forehead," Liv sang, gently tapping Jim's forehead. Leonard snorted, amused, as the rest of the crew laughed and Jim pouted. "And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back."

They continued the entire song like that, teasing and messing with one another, creating a very entertaining show. Indeed they were so amusing Leonard actually chuckled a few times. They were like kids, except bigger and funnier, and in Jim's case drunk. By the time they finished Leonard was actually in a pretty good mood. Although he wasn't sure if it was because of the twins' antics or because of the obscenely strong Egg Nog he'd had four cups of.

"So," Jim asked, slapping him on the back. "You gonna sing for us old man?"

"Jim," Liv scolded, "Leave Leonard alone." She grabbed Jim's arm and pulled him away, handing him off to Nyota. But the question had already taken root, since he'd been considering it anyway. Glancing around, and seeing no one looking like they wanted to sing, Leonard grabbed a mic, feeling like a complete idiot but knowing Joanna would LOVE to see a vid of him singing to his crew. Before he could second guess himself he punched in his request and the music began.

Music began only a minute after she dragged Jim from Leonard and for a moment she wondered if her idiotic twin had escaped Nyota. Livine turned just in time to see Leonard begin to sing. "Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful."

Liv felt a moment of shock and then she smiled slightly. He looked like he'd made the insane choice to sing without really thinking but he wasn't totally regretting it. And Liv wasn't minding at all. Though he was on his way to drunk his voice was smooth, deep, and like verbal dark chocolate. "And since we've no place to go, Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!"

It was Joey's favorite Christmas song. Liv had sung it with her the year before as she babysat while Nick and Jocelyn had been at a Doctor's Holiday Party. She was supposed to have gone, but she'd figured she'd have more fun with Joey. She'd been right. They'd had a blast singing to Joey's favorite songs, and they'd been good, but as Leonard sang the original Dean Martin version she couldn't help but smile. _He's much better than we were._ Liv thought, glancing at her little watch. She'd need to know the approximate time of the song so she could get it off the computer and send it to Joey…

0130 Hours

The party had finally ended and Liv slid away quietly. She'd usually tend to her silly twin but Nyota had an arm around his waist and his arm draped over her shoulders. Leonard had escaped over an hour before so she didn't have to make herself help him to his room. She was officially sick of people, particularly men. Parties had that effect on her, but it wasn't quite as bad as it was after Halloween…

"Hey beautiful." Blake said softly, wrapping his arm warmly around her shoulder.

Liv smiled and leaned against him. He didn't count as people. He was always welcome around her. "Hey handsome." She responded. "I thought you were going to go back with what's his name…"

"Edward." Blake murmured, smiling brightly. "Yea, well he's expecting me before three am but I'm all yours before then."

Liv couldn't help the warm sensation that flooded her. "Thanks Blake." It was nice not to have to go to her rooms alone.

Blake pulled a bottle out from behind his back. "I brought us a little something."

Liv laughed when she saw the familiar bottle. "Candy Cane Martinis?"

Blake nodded. "It's tradition! We've not missed a Christmas since we started."

Liv smiled, remember that Christmas, her first Christmas without Jim, eight years before. "Weren't we 17?" She asked, doing the math in her head.

Blake nodded. "You were, I was 18." They reached her room and Blake let her walk in first. Liv stopped dead and stared at what she saw.

"Wha… How…?" She murmured, wide eyed.

Blake grinned. "Sulu, Scotty, Edward and I thought you could use a bit of Christmas cheer."

Her room was decked out with garland and a miniature Christmas tree stood proudly on her mini coffee table surrounded by shining packages. "Wha… Blake!" She spun and leapt into his arms, fighting back tears. She'd been feeling slightly unloved, with Blake having Edward, Jim having Nyota, and Chris probably having Spock. "Thank you."

Her tall friend laughed, set her down, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Come on. Have a Candy Cane Martini with me and open your gifts. I'm way curious what that big box from Jim is."

Liv laughed and settled down in front of the table, "Glasses are…" The cabinet opened and she heard them clink. "You already know that, never mind."

Blake curled up beside her and handed her a drink. "Open mine first." He said cheerfully, smiling like a kid, and pointing to a blue box shaped package.

Liv sighed, grabbing it. "You didn't need to get me a gift AND do all this for me." Blake just shrugged. Liv rolled her eyes but cuddled against his side. "You're great." She told him, pulling the paper away. When she saw what was in the box she laughed. "Blake… they're lovely." She stroked the dark brown cowboy boots and smiled. _They almost match my bracelet from Leonard_ She thought.

0235 Hours

Liv laughed, looking around at the pile of gifts. "You guys know me really well." She told Blake.

"Which is amazing," Blake teased, poking her side, "Considering how you keep everyone but Jim and me at arm's length."

"I'm getting close to Chris and Nyota!" Liv exclaimed softly.

Blake chuckled. "Yea, you are. And you're getting close to Dr. McCoy. Don't think I didn't see you two tonight." Liv blushed but said nothing. Blake chuckled more. "Hey, I don't blame you. The man's hot. And that drawl… Sexy as hell, right?"

Liv blushed more. "I don't know what you're on about." She lied. Her eyes caught on the silver of the hand cuffs Galia gave her. "I don't know what I'll do with these." She murmured, picking them up. "But the sentiment is kinda nice."

Blake grinned. "Use them to handcuff some hot stud to your bed. It might make you feel safer, him being submissive to you." Liv choked, blushing. Blake laughed. "Come on, you're Jim's twin and my best friend. I KNOW you have thought about it, even if you haven't actually had sex."

"I think I need another drink if we're gonna have this conversation Blake." She murmured.

Blake laughed and lifted the empty bottle. "Can't, we're out."

Liv sighed in relief. "Good, then let's not have this conversation."

To her relief Blake grabbed the beautiful, deep blue silk scarf and glittering, ancient looking silver necklace. "Lily and Chekov adore you. These are really nice gifts." He nodded to the coffee maker Jim had bought her. "And I know where I'm coming for coffee from now on."

Liv laughed. "Hell no, my coffee. I'm not sharing with anyone, not even Jimmy." She watched Blake glance at the clock and smiled sadly. "Go on Blake, go get some. I'm good for tonight."

Blake looked guilty but hopeful. "You sure?"

Liv nodded though she wasn't sure. She shoved him lightly. "Go, shoo, and open your gift from me. Just… don't tell me how much you like it, okay?"

Blake's green eyes brightened, excited. "What did you get me?"

Liv laughed. "It's more a gift for you and Edward." Blake's smile looked like it might split his face in two if it got any wider. "Seriously, don't tell me how much you like it though, okay? I REALLY don't want to know."

2258 – December 25th 0800 Hours

Leonard had most defiantly needed the lay in that Jim had given the entire crew after the party the night before… He'd woken with the worst hangover he'd ever had, which was indeed saying something, but at least he'd not been late when he'd awoken to find it was nearly 0700 hours. After a hot shower, three mugs of coffee, and a hangover cure, however, he felt great.

Leonard was actually in a very good mood- which could have been largely in part due to the picture Livine had given him the night before. Pressing the little button and seeing Joanna's smiling face as she all but yelled, "Merry Christmas Daddy!" had been heart-wrenchingly wonderful.

"Merry Christmas Leonard." Said a soft voice from his office door.

"Merry Christmas Livine." He responded, glancing over his shoulder, away from his new pictures of Joanna (a gift from Chris which she had apparently hacked from Jocelyn's home computer), to see his PA.

She looked exhausted but happy, her cheeks a little pale but her smile more obvious than usual and her eyes brilliantly blue. "I see Jim's on the schedule for today." She said with a slight grin, sipping from a large mug of coffee. "Why's he coming in?"

Leonard grinned slightly. "His Christmas gift from meh." He explained, "A contraception shot."

Livine laughed. "Oh he'll love that. No need for condoms. You wouldn't believe how he bitches about them."

Leonard blanched. "He talk to yeh about that?" He'd gotten that tirade a bunch of times, mostly while they were in Academy and roommates. But Livine was a girl, and Jim's twin to boot.

Livine shrugged. "We don't really have the same boundaries most people do." Her eyes were losing their brilliance and her shoulders slumped slightly.

Leonard scolded himself for sounding judgmental. They were twins, twins were often much closer than normal siblings or so he'd been taught. So he nodded. "Yea, Ah suppose yer right. Ah'd probably expect that in same-sex twins so Ah don't know why Ah didn't expect it with yeh two, being as close as yeh are."

He knew why he hadn't expected it but the little white lie seemed to relax Livine again and she nodded. "Yea, we ARE really close. And trust me, sometimes he does tell me things I REALLY don't want or need to know, but… he's Jim." Now THAT Leonard could sympathize with. Jim told him all sorts of things he REALLY didn't want to know. "Besides the one time he tried to give me a play by play about sex with someone I beat the tar out of him. So I'm at least spared THOSE talks."

_Wonder if that would work for me…_ He thought to himself. He was considering a reply when Chris walked in, looking far more chipper than anyone had any right to.

Livine laughed. "Looks like someone got laid." She teased Chris, tossing an arm over her shoulder. Chris blushed dark green. "Come on," Livine sad, dragging Chris from the room. "I've got to give you that Christmas gift I owe you."

0900 Hours

Jim sundered in late, as usual, and lounged against the door to Leonard's office in a frighteningly similar manner to how Livine had only an hour before.

"So, what's so damned important Bonesy?" Jim asked, smiling brightly.

Leonard winced at the obnoxious nickname but smiled slightly as he stood. "Mah Christmas gift to yeh Jim." He said smoothly, hiding the hypo in his sleeve.

Jim grinned like an idiot. "Really? Awesome!" He all but bounded over, _Lord he's such a kid sometimes,_ and perched himself on Leonard's desk. "What is it?"

"This." Bones growled before injecting the kid in the neck less than gently. Jim yelped satisfyingly, leaping off his desk. "'Smiling for Dummies', huh?" Leonard growled, referring to the book Jim had given him for Christmas.

Jim held his neck, looking rather pitiful. "What was that?" He asked suspiciously, glaring up at Leonard.

Leonard grinned. "Six month contraception shot."

Jim brightened. "Seriously?" Leonard nodded. "AWESOME! No more condoms!" He hugged Leonard tightly. "You are great Bones, absolutely great." And then he bounded out of the office, grinning like a loon.

Leonard followed Jim out, leaning against the doorway to his office to watch as the idiot bounded past Livine. _How is he Captain again?_ Leonard half wondered. He focused on Livine and couldn't help that, for a moment, his eyes lingered on her smiling face. She glanced at him and her smile turned shy but didn't disappear. He was making progress. Progress was good. But progress to what?

_Didn't I need to talk to her about something…_ He wondered, wracking his brain for what he'd written on his notepad (a lingering bad habit he continued though it was a waste of paper), he just simply didn't want to run all the way back to his quarters to remember… _Ah ha._

"Livine," he said gently, catching her attention, "Ah need to speak with you, if you won't mind."

"Sure," she said softly, placing on her small desk the crewman file she'd been going over. She walked toward him slowly, stopping when she too could lean against the doorframe, on the other side of the wide doorway. "S'up?"

"Livine we need to…" He started.

"Liv, Doctor." Called Chapel, interrupting Leonard. He looked at the older woman, noticing Livine do the same from the corner of his eye. Christine was grinning rather like a cat who'd gotten the cream, or Jim after getting laid. "Look up."

Livie looked up and felt her blood run cold. Mistletoe. "No," she said immediately, at almost the exact moment Leonard growled, "Hell no."

"It's tradition," Christine said, smiling brightly. "Come on, just a little kiss. It's all in good fun."

Livine glanced at Leonard and felt herself flush. Okay, sure, he was attractive. She'd known it from the moment she saw him in that damned bar. At the time she'd trusted herself, and Jim, to keep her safe, so she'd let herself be attracted, not just objectively recognize that he was attractive. But the circumstance had changed, he was her boss, and even objectively noticing he was attractive wasn't very professional.

But still, looking at his pursed lips she could remember distinctly how it felt, kissing him so very briefly on the night when they'd first met.

"This is very unprofessional, Christine." Leonard scolded.

"Leonard," Liv murmured, stopping his rant in its tracks and catching his attention immediately. "It's fine, she's right. All in good fun." She was sure she was blushing brighter than a tomato, judging from the heat on her cheeks. "Tis the season, right?" The last few words sounded a little breathy to her and she hoped he didn't notice, or if he did, that he attributed it to excitement, not the mind-numbing fear that was threatening her.

She shot a glance at Christine. "One little peck, right?"

"Well I was thinking to better fir tradition something longer than a peck." Christine started but she withered under the weight of Leonard's glare. "But a peck is fine."

Liv offered Leonard a slight smile she didn't feel. "No big deal, we've done this before." She murmured.

"We were bo'h borderin' on drunk at the tahme." Leonard replied in the same low tone, looking down at her with his big green-grey eyes.

"Speak for yourself," Liv quipped, feeling a weird flash of hurt. _Why do I care if he blames it on being drunk?_ "I'd only had two drinks all night."

"Well," Christine said, grinning, "No sense dawdling."

Liv half turned, opening her mouth to snap at the woman when a warm hand caught her chin and made her turn her face. The kiss was open-mouthed but brief, hardly long enough to enjoy it. Still… enjoy it she did. His lips were warm, dry, and a little chapped, and he tasted of dark, unsweetened coffee. When he released her Liv almost stumbled back, not realizing she'd closed her eyes. _Woah…_ She thought as Leonard snapped, "Mistletoe will not be hung over mah office door again. The door into sickbay, fahne, if yeh must."

It was not until later that night, as Leonard lay in his bed trying to get to sleep. Trying vainly to NOT think about the almost petulant look to Livine's eyes as he pulled away from her, nor the jolt of heat he'd felt just from the simple little kiss. That he realized he'd forgotten to talk to Livine about what he'd remembered needing to talk to her about.

"Damn it," he growled. "If she's as bad about 'er physicals as Jim is Ah'll be weeks late in getting' it done."

AN: Miller you're wonderful, thanks so much for the little advice about Sulu and the botany thing. Hope you got the little reference to him supplying the miniature tree for Liv. And the little tradition with Blake and Liv. The other ideas you guys mention shall be referred back to as I go through the next few chapters.

I didn't actually mean to finish this so darned quickly (I finished it Monday the 23rd) tho I didn't post it until Tuesday during my break between classes. So yes, ideas for other gifts might still be used and little plot bunnies are always welcome. We must keep the plot wolf well fed or she'll die of starvation. Because she sadly can't feed herself by oogling Karl Urban as McCoy yet because she is BROKE and can't buy the DVD. **cries**

Remember my loves! REVIEW = PREVIEW!!!


	15. No, No, NO! You Can't Make ME!

AN: Sigh, I love Thanksgiving. You wanna know what I'm thankful for? You guys! My wonderful fans who keep me motivated and writing. Dunno what I'd do with out you guys! Happy Turkey day.

2259 – January 3rd 0630 Hours

Liv knew the replicator was on the fritz, everyone knew. Jim went psycho on it the day before and tried to reprogram it. Scotty was the poor sap who had to try and fix the further damage Jim had done AND get the coffee function to work before the whole crew mutinied.

Liv was unaffected. Coffee was one thing she never had to worry about again. But her boss was another matter. For two days Leonard had been basically unbearable. Liv had thought she was making major progress with her male issues, with him in particular. But for two days it had been like being brand new on the ship all over again, Leonard was that damned snarky.

But Livie was a smart one and she knew two plus two equaled four. Hense why she walked purposefully into the Sick Bay carrying a gigantic mug of steaming, fresh brewed coffee. She stepped into his office and immediately he snarled, sounding almost like a rabid dog, "Fuck off whoever yeh are."

But almost immediately his nose twitched and he glanced up, his green-grey eyes wide and apologetic. "But I come bearing gifts," she teased, lifting the mug slightly. Leonard looked like he thought he was dreaming, half in a trance, his eyes riveted on the mug. With a soft laugh she carefully set the mug on his desk and slid it to him.

He snatched it up so quickly, almost like he was afraid she'd change her mind or it might disappear, his hand covered hers before she could let go of the mug. As they disentangled their hands he offered her a haggard smile. "Yer ah angel, ain't cha?" He asked, lifting the mug to his lips and inhaling before taking a tentative sip. He sighed, every line of tension in his road shoulders falling away. "Thank yeh Livine."

Liv smiled slightly, relaxing as the tension left him. Tension was a sign of anger, anger was dangerous, but she'd been learning that a not tense Leonard wasn't dangerous, he was actually quite a decent man.

"We broke out of a jail cell together, shared a few dances, and kissed… twice." She said slowly, almost nervously, wondering if she was taking this… whatever between them too far. "I think you could call me Liv, if you liked." Chris did, Jim did, Blake did, but no one else. Somehow though it felt almost natural to think of him calling her by her nickname.

Leonard flashed her a slight smile, more a warming of his eyes and a slight quirk to his lips than a real smile but it warmed her chest slightly none the less. "Thank yeh… Liv." He corrected.

"You're welcome Leonard." She told him with a slight smile and a nod.

She turned to leave him to his charts when his voice said firmly, "Len."

Confused Liv turned back to face the southern man. "Excuse me?" She asked, not getting what he'd meant…

"Mah nickname." He said slowly, looking down at the mug and the dark liquid in it. "It's Len."

Liv's heart clenched slightly. _Len…_ she thought, _I like that._ "The Bitch call you that?" She asked, not wanting to bring up old, painful memories for him every time she spoke to him if she had.

"Na," he said softly, glancing up at her, "She preferred 'Leo'."

_Leo?_ She thought. _WTF? Where did she get Leo from Leonard? The spelling?_ Still, she smiled slightly. "Okay." She hesitated, wondering if she considered herself close enough to use his nickname. She was hardly used to using his given name… "You're welcome, Len." The smile on his lips was well worth the slight awkwardness of using the nickname. She turned and slid from the office, pleased with the way the year was beginning.

2259 – January 7th 0700 Hours

Len cursed Liv, glaring down at his schedule. _Damn girl,_ he snarled to himself. The entire day was jam packed with patients. Between the two of them they'd be lucky to have lunch and see everybody by the end of the day.

"Livine?" He called, fighting a growl. "Could yeh come in here please?"

Liv walked in, her cheeks slightly pink, her eyes wandering but not downcast. "Yes Doctor?" She asked.

"Yeh've fit as many people into the day as humanly possible for the last four days." He drawled, watching her like a hawk. She blushed deeper but didn't cower. "It's not goin' ta be ah good enough excuse to avoid ah physical, Liv. Ah can schedule yeh for the Gamma shift doctor." She paled, her eyes dropping. "Come on Liv, yeh know yeh need this done. Stop fighting it."

"We're busy, can we talk about this later?" Liv snapped, all but fleeing his office.

"Damn it," Leonard growled, dropping onto his desk. "She's even worse than the Kid." Walking from his office he watched Liv guide a patient into an exam room. Looking away from Liv he saw Christine glaring at him. _Damn it._ He thought bitterly, _Now Ah'm in trouble._

2259 – January 8th 1307 Hours

Len was in less than a stellar mood. Christine had chewed him out for upsetting Livine, Jim had chewed him out for upsetting Livine, even Chris had asked him to be a little gentler with Livine. Damn it he KNEW to be gentle with her, she was skittish, shy, and he knew that. He'd been working around it as best he could, but there was only so much he could do, especially when he HAD to pull rank on the girl.

Finishing up his late lunch Len sighed. One of two things would sweeten his mood, and he doubted he'd get either. Joanna wasn't due to call for two more days, she had school to contend with after all, and Liv showed no signs of backing down and accepting her damned physical.

But he had to admit, through his exhausted annoyance, she was damn good at avoiding her physical, better by far than Jim. He couldn't just bark at the damned girl, or bully her into it, or go over her head to Jim, all for fear of damaging the delicate understanding between them. He liked her calling him 'Len', it was nice to hear the nickname again. He wanted to keep their relationship undamaged. And DAMN the girl was conniving. She'd prescheduled the next five days in advance, though usually the schedule was created only a day or two in advance. While he'd removed her code from the system of acceptable administrators the damage had already been done. He would be swamped for days and days…

"Doctor McCoy?" Liv's voice called from the main sickbay, "Our next three patients are here!"

He was seriously considering just killing the girl…

2259 – January 12th 0400 Hours

Lv smirked as she rigged the cooling system in the Botany bay one. The minor alterations she'd made would take a day to reach critical and finally cause minor explosions, but she had time. She felt almost guilty as she closed the grating back over the little control panel and pocketed the tools she'd used. It would set back the Botanists back a week, maybe a little more, but no one would get hurt, she was sure of that.

It was a little underhanded, creating a minor medical emergency, but she just couldn't stomach showing anyone her body. Not only had she NEVER shown her body, willingly, to anyone aside from Jim and Blake (she'd faked her last physicals using Nick's signature); but her scars were hers. Family business, even if t was long over, was family business… And she just couldn't stomach the idea of Len's pity.

She stood and exited the Botany bay. _I'm just learning to be comfortable with him._ She told herself, trying to justify her actions. _I don't want to lose that…_

2259 – January 13th 0957 Hours

Len sighed happily. Finally, a day Liv hadn't scheduled. He had time to breathe, to eat… and time to give Liv her God Damned physical. And the replicator was finally fixed. He took a long drink of his third mug of coffee. _Ahh,_ he thought, enjoying the warm burn down his throat. _Not as good as Liv's but damned good._

Finishing off the mug he walked to his office door. "Livine, can Ah talk with yeh please?" He called. He watched as she tensed, her back and shoulders becoming stiff as a board, but she nodded and joined him.

"Yes Len?" She asked softly, passing him on her way into his office. She made a point to walk further away from him than usual, he noticed with a grimace.

"We have time and it needs doing. Let's get yer physical over an' done with." The last few words of the sentence were drowned out by a voice over the comm., flooding him with annoyance and frustration.

"We need the doctor down in Botany bay one!" Snapped some scientist Len didn't know. "We've got a contamination issue, one of the air filters to the cooling ducts exploded!"

"Coming!" Len snapped, grabbing his portable kit. "How the fuck do those God Damned idiots manage to blow up an air filter?" He snarled at Liv. Immediately he regretted the harshness of his tone but her Bleed-Me-blue eyes didn't flash with fear or nervousness like they typically did. He noticed amusement and relief.

"Damned if I know." She answered, keeping pace with him as they all but ran toward the Botany bay. But contrary to her words she had a very slight, self-satisfied smirk on her face.

_Not possible._ He told himself, wondering if he'd seen the expression right as it flicked away. _She wouldn't rig this to avoid a physical… would she? Could she even pull it off?_ He wasn't sure, he knew nothing of engineering and it would require engineering to manage such a feat. _Naw,_ he told himself, watching Liv as they stepped into the Botany bay, _Not Livine. Jim, sure, but not Liv._

2259 – January 16th 2100 Hours

Len fell face forward into his bed, absolutely exhausted. Yet another perfectly quiet, peaceful day ruined by another minor explosion. And Just when he'd finished the evaluations, check-ups, and paperwork associated with the Botany lab explosion.

Len had been willing to blow off the nagging suspicion that Liv had been involved in the first explosion but the second was timed just too perfectly. He was almost positive that Liv was involved somehow… _Is she getting Jim to help her? _He wondered, not putting the possibility past his best friend. The twins were impossibly close. Jim was slightly nutty about protecting his twin…

"Computer," Len snapped, "call Captain Kirk."

"What?" Asked a slightly breathy voice. "I'm kinda busy here."

Len could hear heavy breathing on the line and closed his eyes in horror. "Damn it Jim! Couldn't yeh wait for lights out before doing that?"

"He could." Nyota's voice answered, breathy with exertion and laughter, "But I couldn't. So tell us what you want Leonard or shove off."

Len fought the sigh of exasperation and the huff of jealousy. He missed sex after all… "Ah need yeh ta stop creatin' those damned explosions, Jim. Liv needs her damned physical an' yer not actually helpin' matters!" He didn't give the kid time to argue, he just snapped, "Computer, end call."

2259 – January 17th 1145 Hours

"Hey, Liv." Jim said from beside her as they knelt beside a beautiful lake on a newly discovered planet.

"Mhmm?" She asked, collecting water samples for the scientists back on the Enterprise.

"Are you trying to get out of your physical?" Liv felt her stomach lurch. Len had figured it out? Liv looked at her twin and noticed his sly, appraising look. "Those explosions are pretty ingenious. Pity I didn't think of that."

"It's different for you Jimmy." Liv muttered, carefully scooping a dirt sample into a container. "He's a guy, you're a guy, you're both best friends. And you're not shy about your body."

Jim sighed, gently thumping her thigh with his own. "Livie, you need the physical or you can't be on active duty. How did you get over the last couple for Star Fleet?"

Liv blushed slightly. "I… I did them."

Jim blanched. "Liv! That's not regulation, how'd you get away with that?!"

Liv stood, dusting off her knees, fighting nervousness. "I can't tell you that Captain. If you know and do nothing to punish me then you'll get into trouble." She'd never had to lie, even by omission, to Jim about anything but the sexual abuse she'd suffered. She didn't like having to do it now, though it was to protect him.

"Get the damned physical, Liv." Jim ordered her with his 'Captain' voice, looking up at her with firm, familiar blue eyes. "Bones is a good guy, he's not going to hurt you."

Liv nodded, saying nothing. _Easy for you to say,_ she argued in her mind. She shouldn't feel betrayed, she knew that, but still she did. Jim was supposed to be on her side.

"I mean it." Jim added, standing and dusting off his hands too. "Get the physical Liv, that's an order."

Her eyes prickled with tears. _He's ordering me?_ She asked herself, deliberately not looking at her twin for fear he'd see the hurt in her eyes. _Well fuck that. I mean, come on. Pot… Kettle? Black?_

But an idea was already forming to buy her just a little more time…

2259 – January 18th 0700 Hours

Len woke with a jolt, as he always did when he was woken from deep sleep. He'd gone to bed exhausted, the paperwork for the stupid Engineering explosion had taken him until well after midnight and he had been so tired.

Slowly his brain caught up with his senses and he realized something was very off. First off, his alarm was an annoying but effective beeping, getting progressively louder. Secondly he felt a lot more rested than he should have, given that he should have only had four hours of sleep…

"Doctor, doctor," sang his alarm, "Gimmie the news. I got a, bad case of loving you! No pill's gonna cure my ills I got a, bad case of loving you!" The music got progressively louder, just as his alarm should.

"Computer, turn off the music and give meh the time." He snarled, anger and annoyance flooding his veins.

"Time is zero seven hundred hours. And to turn off the music requires the Captain's override." The computer answered.

"FUCK!" Len snapped, leaping out of his bed. He was late… he was LATE! "A am gonna KILL that kid!" he growled as he grabbed his clothes. He'd have to return to his quarters and have a shower at his lunch break as opposed to eating.

0735 Hours

Len stormed into the sick bay, meeting the curious glances of his staff with harsh glares. "Over sleep?" Jim asked from a biobed. He had a hand pressed over a cut on his forehead and a stupid grin on his face.

_Ah am gonna get you Kid._ He thought viciously, _Just you wait._ "Yea," he answered waspishly, "ah little."

Jim snickered as Liv joined him, a dermal regenerator in her hand. "Someone put a knot in his panties today." He teased, grinning.

"Be nice to the poor man, Jim." Liv muttered to him, smacking his knee, "and let me see that cut. You sure you're okay? You're not really this much of a klutz… that's me."

Jim looked up at her and saw the worry in her eyes. _She is amazing._ He thought to himself_ I need to help her find a good man to appreciate her, dang it._ Her foot tapped as he remained silent a little too long. _And she knows me way to well._ He added, meeting hr glare as she gently tended his self-inflicted cut.

_This is so embarrassing._ He thought with a little sigh. "Yea, well… I needed an excuse to come see you." Jim admitted, fighting back a blush. Sure he was open with Liv but damn it… "Something's wrong with me." Liv's eyes flashed with worry and a single hand made a 'come on' motion, requesting more. "I… God Liv this is so embarrassing…" He took a deep breath. "I… I… Last night, me and Nyota…" Liv was beginning to look annoyed and her foot tapping had begun again… _Guess I should just say it, damn it._ He told himself. "I couldn't get it up." Jim whispered, fighting, and failing, to keep the blush from his cheeks.

Liv's face slowly shifted from annoyed and worried to disbelieving, then to curious. "That's not normal. Hang on a sec." She grabbed a tricorder and began scanning him slowly. Finally she snickered, her eyes flashing from curious to amused. "Oh… that is brilliant." She giggled softly, her smile widening.

"Damn it!" Jim snapped, exasperation and worry tied into knots in his gut. Damn it, he NEVER had had such a problem. He was James Tiberius Kirk! He was a total DOG! "Tell me!" He hissed.

Liv's giggles subsided into snickers. "Someone got you good. There's a synthetic hormone in your system, it decreases the body's ability to maintain and sustain sexual arousal…"

Understanding flashed through Jim. _This,_ He thought to himself as he leapt off the biobed, _means war, Bonesy._

2259 – January 30th 0600 Hours

Leonard glared at his best friend, looking as menacing as he possibly could with brilliant purple hair. "We need ta talk, Jim." He snarled, grabbing the Kid's arm and hauling him to his feet. "Now."

Jim just grinned a shit-eating grin. "Sure Bones." Once outside the Mess Hall, where they would e overheard by fewer crewmen, Len turned on the boy.

"Damn it Jim, this 'as ta stop! It's getting' out of 'and." He snapped. "It's interfearin' with work."

Jim sighed but nodded slowly. "Yea… yea I guess you're right." He thrust a hand at Len. "Truce?"

Distrust made him hesitant to take the offered appendage but eventually Len did. "Truce." He muttered, shaking the kid's hand. "Now Ah can focus on getting' that sistah of yers to let meh give her ah damned physical."

He watched as Jim's eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. "She hasn't yet?" Len shook his head. "Bones… what was the first prank I pulled on you this time?" He asked slowly.

Wondering what the kid was getting at Len scowled but answered. "Yeh messed wif mah alarm an' showah."

"Ahhhh…" Jim murmured, more to himself than to Len. The kid nodded. "Okay, yoy get ready to give Liv her physical today, in one hour. I'll make sure she's there."

Leonard had the distinct feeling he was missing something but he nodded, relieved to finally have the physical scheduled.

0700 Hours

"I can't believe you did that to me!" Jim growled at Liv as he walked with her toward Sick bay. "That was so mean!"

Liv sighed. "I know, I do feel bad about it." She admitted, snuggling into her twin's warmth. "But… Jim you have to understand… I'm scared. I've… no one's ever seen my body but you and Blake. And there are no female doctors or PA's on board aside from me."

"Why didn't you tell me you were still scared of Bones?" Jim asked, hugging her closer. "I wouldn't have been so harsh on that planet if I'd known."

Liv snorted, it was not an amused sound. "How do you tell your twin that you're still fighting the urge to scream and run every time his best friend touches you? Especially when you escaped being imprisoned together?"

"And call each other nicknames," Jim added, "and dance together, and flirt…"

Liv stopped dead and looked at Jim. "Don't joke Jimmy. We don't flirt."

"Liv," Jim sighed, clearly exasperated, "Girl… I hear the talk. You bring him coffee, you spend time with him. You two flirt, whether you want to admit it or not." His arm circled her shoulder and he guided her into Sick bay. "Now no more stalling. Go get your Physical. I'll be right here, the whole time."

0735 Hours

Liv had fared okay, with Jim sitting beside her, his hand dwarfing her own. And as much as she believed that Jim's presence had been keeping her calm she also knew it was the sheer fact that the first half of a physical was completed with the patient's clothes firmly in place. Her blood pressure, heart rate, blood tests, x-rays, all those were done with her fully clothed in her uniform. None of what had been done was worth getting panicked about. But that was about to change…

"Liv," Len said gently, his voice had been particularly gentle for the whole ordeal thus far actually, "Ah need ta do the external exam. Ah need yeh ta strip to yer underwear."

Jim kissed her forehead. "We'll be right outside, knock when you're ready." He promised, before slithering out of her grasp and out of the exam room with Len.

"I can do this." Liv told herself, even as her eyes scanned the room looking for a way to escape. _There's no way out of these rooms,_ she scolded herself. _Don't be stupid, just… just strip own to your panties and lets get this over with._

She slid out of her uniform top shirt. Immediately she felt cold all over. It wasn't actually cool in the exam room, it was just a ripple of sheer terror, but still she shivered. She slithered out of her boots and pants, stripped off her socks and shimmied out of her bra, all without removing her undershirt. _I suppose gym class taught me something after all._ She thought bitterly, recalling all the times when she had to change without anyone seeing her scars or the new injuries.

Wearing her undershirt she looked down at herself. She had bruises on her legs, as always, she really was a bit of a klutz. With the black undershirt and her pale green bikini style underwear on she looked almost normal. A few small scars, one on her leg from having broken the bone being thrown off the third story balcony, one on her knees from being thrown and skidding across pavement on her hands and knees…

Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door and fled to the biobed/exam table, sitting with her back to the door. The door opened with a soft woosh and terror filled her. She began to shiver, quake where she sat.

"Livie," Jim half-laughed, sitting beside her again. "Everything, come on."

"Yeh really shouldn't be here." Len told Jim from behind her. "S'against protocol."

"Please," she begged Jim as he shifted to stand again, to leave her alone, unprotected, with a man. "Please, Jimmy don't leave me." Shame filled her as tears began to slowly trail down her cheeks but she couldn't make them stop.

"I'll be right outside. If I so much as hear a whimper I'll be right back in." He whispered to her, kissing her forehead again. "Bones is a good guy, he won't hurt you." Jim promised. "I swear. You're safe." And then he left her, pulled away from her and walked out the door. As it hissed closed every bit of heat left her, leaving Liv feeling alone, terrified, and cold.

Leonard felt like a complete monster, making Jim leave. But protocol was protocol and even though they were close there was something off about Jim seeing his sister nude. But watching Liv panic tore at his heart. Why was she so afraid? A wild filly might be uncomfortable but… she shouldn't be so uncomfortable as to cry!

"Ah ain't gonna 'urt yeh Sugah." He promised, stepping closer to the bio bed where she sat, facing away from him. "Could yeh take the shirt off, please? Sooner we start, the sooner it'll be ovah." She didn't speak to him but she didn't seem to tense up further, which was a start. Slowly she moved, grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting it up.

All of a sudden Len was glad she was facing away from him. The pale expanse of her back, as she bared it to him, was littered with scars. Long, thin marks criss-crossed, slightly puckered and darker pink than her very light back. Darker, nearly purple burn scars stood out like neon signs; some were long and thin, others short and wide. There were dozens upon dozens of scars, more than he wanted to count. He sucked in a breath as rage, white hot and deadly, rippled up through his very being.

_Good God,_ He thought, appalled, _Lord in heaven who would do such a thing?_ He knew what whip marks looked like, he'd seen them in mistreated horses as a youth. Someone had taken a whip to Liv's back.

The shirt lifted off her head and she shook her hair, letting it fall back into place. Her whole body was ram-rod straight with fear. _No wonder she doesn't trust anyone. Ah am such ah fool. Ah thought she was wild… she ain't wild. She's abused._ He thought, gently settling his hands on her back. She leapt, sucking in a sharp, frightened breath.

"Easy," he told her softly. "Ah told yeh, Ah ain't gonna 'urt cha, Liv. Jus' relax." He'd have to check every scar, make sure it was healed well and not causing any problems. _With this much external scaring she has to have internal scaring._ He'd have to take a good long look at her x-rays once he was finished. They'd tell a more detailed story of her childhood than her skin.

Twenty minutes later he was finished with her back. He'd been tense, angry, and horrified for twenty LONG minutes, and he wasn't finished yet. "Ah need yeh ta turn around." He said, stepping back.

She peered at him over her shoulder, the first time she'd looked at him since he'd told her to strip. Her tears had stopped but he could still see the dirty tracks of them on her cheeks, her eyes were rimmed with red and looked almost dead. "Do I have to?" She whispered.

"Yeh know yeh do, Liv." He told her gently. "Ah've done 'undreds of physicals. It ain't nothin' Ah haven't seen befor'." It was a lie. He'd NEVER seen anything as horrible as the story her back had told him, and it was only part of the story, but he couldn't tell her that. She was clearly ashamed.

_Yeh have no reason to be ashamed._ He thought, wishing he could tell her the words. Slowly she turned, her arms crossed protectively over her chest. "I'm not sexually active." She murmured, her voice hardly audible.

_That doesn't surprise Meh,_ he thought. Instead of saying it allowed he nodded. "Then we don' need ta do anythin' more than the external exam." Which was good because he was REALLY uncomfortable with the thought of doing a vaginal exam on Liv, even if he did have Christine in the room. He hated himself for it but as she dropped her arms and looked away shyly, blushing, he found himself aroused. _Ahm a monsta, _he thought bitterly, _lustin' afta 'er when she's frighten'ed and scarred._

Liv fought tears of relief when the whole damned ordeal was over. She tugged her clothes on, relieved to be dressed and her past hidden away from the world once more. Jim had left when Len had said she could get dressed again, having skived off duty for as long as he could. But Liv wasn't panicked anymore. It was over, as horrible as it had been it was over.

…And it hadn't been as awful as she'd expected. There had been no pity in Len's eyes when she finally worked up the nerve to look at him. Anger and rage, yes, but she'd been around him long enough to know that Len was a Southern Gentleman, which meant he believed in treating women, and kids, right. His anger, she guessed, had been aimed at Frank and Sam.

To make things easier he hadn't asked either, though it was clear he wanted to. He hadn't pressed at all, simply been professional and gentle the whole time… Liv smiled as she ruffled her hair, getting it to sit right once more before sitting to tie on her boots. _Am I fucked up that some part of me liked being touched?_ She wondered, thinking back on Len's hands –which she loved- on her back. _I like Jim's touch… and Blake's. Maybe it's natural to like to be touched… Maybe it's a positive sign that I'm learning to like Len touching me…_

2200 Hours

Leonard sat on his bed, his hands curled into fists. _How could anyone have survived this?_ He asked himself, staring, horrified, at the holographic image in front of him.

The virtual autopsy he'd created from the x-rays, the CAT scans, and the physical exam told a graphic, gruesome story. And explained a lot.

Liv hated to show her wrists and arms, preferring to wear long sleeves even when she wasn't on duty. The long sleeves covered the scars on both arms - three from a blade, one from a bone puncturing skin – and the pair around her wrists – probably from cuffs of some sort - along with dozens of little scars from small cuts, scrapes, the sorts of injuries kids were prone to, but not in such quantity.

She had scarring on bone from healed breaks on nearly every rib, both bones of her lower arm in the right and the ulna on the left, her spine showed small healed fractures, her knees showed wear he'd expect on a fifty year old or a severe trauma patient. Not to mention the soft tissue damage.

Someone had wrenched her arms hard enough to cause tearing in both Rotator cuffs. Her wrists had been bent backward to the point of ripping the tendons in both of them. And she had very old scarring on some of her organs from repeated bruising- probably from beatings.

_No wonder she's petrified of men._ He thought, looking over her virtual autops and comparing it to Jim's. _And no wonder the Kid's as messed up as he is, too._ Once he knew what to look for he could see the same markers on Jim's body. The scarring, the tearing of tendons and muscles, the spiral fractures of their arms… _It's a wonder Ah've made any sort of progress with the filly at all._ All he could do was hope that the physical hadn't damaged his fragile PA any more than she already was.

AN: Okay, I lied. I said Thanksgiving and I just didn't get it written. I'm sorry. But it's longer and you now have a better understanding of what Liv went through. Major darkness to come as well as some sweet fluff. Next chapter Bones falls ill! They Say Doctor's Make the Worst Patients…

I hope you all had a wonderful break. Loves!

Review = PREVIEW!!!!


	16. Doctors Make Piss Poor Patients!

AN: **Sigh** I'm back my doves. Only a few (2) weeks before exams, I'm getting slightly nervous though I probably shouldn't be. Anywho, here you all are, Chapter 16. Len gets sick, oh no! This chapter could be anything, from dark to fluffy, I'm not too sure. It very well could be a blend of both.

Just to let you all know, I did a bit of math with my time line… we're looking at a total of 35+ chapters, depending on how long some of my planned action chapters end up being.

2259 - February 4th 0730 Hours

Len felt the slight scratch in his throat again, it had been tormenting him on and off for days. _Damn it all,_ he thought with a huff, _Ah guess Ahm getting' sick after all._ It wasn't a big deal, his body would probably get rid of it without him really feeling the symptoms, he was healthy and strong after all. But to be safe he could wear a mask.

Pulling open the top drawer of his desk he reached blindly inside to find the little earpiece but his fingers brushed something more familiar. He pulled the halo-projector out of the drawer and set it on his desk. Livine's virtual autopsy… With a scowl he knocked it back into his drawer and pulled out the shield mask earpiece.

_Wish Ah could do sumthin' for Liv,_ he thought as he put the little thing into his ear and pressed the activation button. He felt the low hum as the shield surrounded his nose and mouth, ready to vaporize any biohazard that he either inhaled or exhaled. _The girl has been so damned skittish since Ah gave her that damned physical._

She hadn't been avoiding him per say, just that every time they were in a room together she had five feet, or more, of space between them. She met his eyes, she spoke to him comfortably, but she avoided touching him like the plague. Before she might have been skittish but she didn't dodge his touch. _Not that Ah can blame her,_ he reminded himself, closing the drawer on the halo-projector. _S'ah miracle the girl can even look meh in the eye after what Ah saw. All those scars… and the internal scaring… 'S a wonder the girl can lift anythin', let alone help meh with patients…_

But that thought gave him an idea and with a slight smile on his lips he began rummaging purposefully through another drawer, searching for just the right medication…

Liv glanced up as a warm, lightly callused hand encircled her wrist, closing over the fabric, leather, and bare skin. She glanced up, fear rippling through her, threatening to bloom into full on panic, grey-green eyes met hers, gentle but firm.

"Come with meh." Leonard said lowly, stepping back so she had to follow or cause a scene with the nurses and patients. She swallowed her panic and forced herself to follow Len into an exam room where he closed the door softly before looking at her. "As yer Doctor Ahm worried." He said in his 'Doctor' tone, the one he used with patients when they might argue. When used on rowdy patients she adored it, when used on her it had a weird effect. Half of her, the beaten and abused Sammie who still lived in her chest, wanted to cower, while the other half, the adult and stronger Liv who sort of liked Len, felt a ripple of heat through her gut.

"About what?" She asked, forcing back both reactions. _Bad Livie,_ she scolded herself. _He's the boss, no wanting to jump his bones._

"Yeh have scaring in the tendons and ligaments in yer arms an' legs. Ah need yeh ship-shape and yeh didn't get the inj'ries taken care o' properly." Well she couldn't… people might ask questions, questions she couldn't answer. As it was the situation was bordering on too personal and Liv had to fight the urge to turn and make a hasty retreat.

"So?" she asked a little sharply.

Len lifted a hypospray. "This is ta reduce scarin' in internal tissues. It'll make those old inj'ries 'urt less." For a moment all Liv wanted to do was run, she hated needles as much as her twin, but the prospect of her shoulders, elbows, knees, wrists, and ankles hurting less was a little too appealing. She nodded slowly. "Ah need yer neck." He said softly, one hand half reaching toward her.

Swallowing yet MORE terror Liv tipped her head to one side and closed her eyes. _Jim is of the opinion Lenias terrible with the hypo…_ A hand curled around her neck and head. _…so this is probably really gonna…_ There was a slight amount of pressure and a sharp but brief prick, accompanied by moderate and fleeting pain. The callused hand released her and Liv opened her eyes.

"Hey," she said, slightly louder than needed, "that didn't hurt."

Len chuckled slightly, his eyes warming a little. It made him look younger. "Ah have yeh know Ahm a damn good doctor. But hearin' Jim yelp 's just too much fun ta resist."

Liv couldn't help it, she laughed and let herself relax. Len wasn't going to hurt her, he wasn't going to pity her- or at least he knew better than to show it- and he was as gentle with her as spun glass. Gently she slapped his arm. "Be nice to my twin. He's all I got." She teased as she slid from the room to return to her patients. As the door hissed shut she thought she heard a cough.

1900 Hours

By the end of her shift Liv was quite sure she'd heard Leonard cough a few times and she thought his cheeks were slightly flushed. But he didn't complain or slow down so she'd dismissed it, noticing the earpiece for a biohazard mask. If he thought he was alright then who was she to press?

February 9th 0500 Hours

Leonard woke with a groan but refused to open his eyes, they felt leaden, his whole body ached. "K… Computer." He croaked, his voice creaky as the top step up onto his porch back home. "Alarm off." _Fahve more minutes, _he promised himself, letting his whole body relax back onto the bed. _Den Ah'll get up._

Cool hands caressed his cheeks, the soft, uncallused skin rasping against his rough cheeks. "Leonard?" The voice that called his name was familiar, but softer and gentler than he'd ever heard it. "Leonard, wake up."

_Didn't Ah tell 'er ta call meh 'Len'?_ He wondered, forcing himself to open his eyes though they were so very heavy. Slowly his room swam into focus, the lights hardly at twenty percent. A face slid into his view.

"Morning." Liv greeted, offering him a slight smile. "Bout time you woke up."

Leonard frowned, licking his dry lips. "Ah…" his voice cracked, he covered his mouth and coughed. "What de hell are yeh doin' in mah quarters, Liv?" He asked when he could form words.

Hew brow furrowed, the dirty blonde eyebrows meeting in her worry. "You sound like hell, does talking hurt?" she asked, ignoring his question. Len scowled but nodded. Liv stood. "Stay put, I'll get you some water."

Before she could turn he lashed out and grabbed her wrist. "The 'ell are yeh doin' 'ere?" He asked again, with a little more strength. He tried to sit up but his head swam. _Lord,_ he thought, _did Ah get drunk last night?_ He hadn't had a hangover so nasty in nearly a year…

Liv rolled her eyes and sat beside him. "You didn't come in for work, we were worried."

Confusion filled him. "Wha… What tahme is it?" He asked.

"Almost ten hundred hours." Liv answered, pressing her hand onto his chest. "Lay down, Leonard." He pushed upward, struggling to sit. Why was he so damned weak? She pushed a little harder. "Seriously, lay back down, you're sick."

"Ahm fahne, woman." He growled, finally he sat up right but nearly instantly the dizziness returned, making him sway. "Move, Ah gotta get ta work."

Liv huffed and glared at him. "Do not make me call Spock, Doctor McCoy." She growled, sounding surprisingly like himself. He hesitated. _When did she learn THAT?_ He wondered, staring at her.

"Yeh wouldn't." He growled right back, sounding worse for his sore throat. He wished he could just lay back down. He felt like death warmed over. But it was just a stupid cold. One hypo, thirty minutes, and a few mugs of coffee and he'd be right as rain…

Liv treated him to a glare he was quite sure she'd learned from Chris. "Try me." After a long moment Leonard lay back down. If letting Liv keep him in bed for thirty minutes while the hypo took effect then he'd just have to let her, since she was hell-bent on it. "Thank you." She said softly, pulling out his spare tricorder. _Where did she find that? _He wondered, sure he'd hidden it in his personal desk.

The beeps and whirling of the older model was oddly reassuring and Leonard let himself relax back into the bed again. _Lord mah whole body aches._ He thought, closing his eyes. The three, short piercing beeps of a completed scan sounded only moments later it seemed though the scanner usually took a minute or more.

"Cardassian Flu." Liv read. "Not a problem …"

"DAMNIT!" Leonard snarled, cutting off her gentle reassurances. "Fuck mah lahfe."

"What?" Liv asked as his eyes snapped open.

Liv didn't really get the problem. Cardassian flu was a real bitch, unless you had the cure. Which they did… in spades. Otherwise Leonard would be in for seven to ten of pure hell. The first and last few days would consist of low-grade fever, aches, and coughing, the three to five days between of nausea, vomiting, high fever, and hallucinations. If the symptoms weren't treated they could kill- from dehydration or seizure caused by the fever.

"Ahm allergic ta the cure." Len growled, falling back into his bed, letting his eyes close.

Liv fought a small giggle. The situation wasn't funny per say, but he was making it seem like the end of the world. "I'll call on the Gamma and Beta shift doctors, between the three of us we'll make it work." She promised him. "You stay in here and for heaven's sake REST."

Leonard grabbed her wrist gently. "The Beta and Gamma PA's can be used."

Liv couldn't help the snort of amusement and disgust. "They," she told Leonard rather firmly, "are pathetic excuses for medical staff. The nurses are more useful than my Beta and Gamma shift counterparts." Still, she patted his hand and eased his loose fingers from her wrist. He laughed as she made her way to the door. "You're in great hands, Len."

Had the door hissed shut a moment later she might have heard his croaky, "Ahm nawt worried."

1345 Hours

Liv opened the door to Len's quarters using Jim's pass code. What she saw made her smile slightly. Len lay, propped up on pillows, sound asleep. Scattered around him lay half a dozen or so PADDs, probably patient charts. Silently she made her way to his bed pallet and began collecting the PADDs, and because he was still sleeping and she wasn't much worried she took the opportunity to really study him.

When he was sleeping he looked much younger. The lines in his face, around his eyes and at the corners of his mouth, were defiantly frown lines; as he was sleeping his face was smooth and handsome. His jaw was strong but dusted heavily with a dark days worth of growth- it had felt good, rasping against her hand earlier.

But his skin was also flushed and glittered slightly with sweat, his breaths were slightly labored- as if it hurt to breathe too heavily- and every few moments he'd cough a harsh, nasty, chesty cough.

"Poor Cowboy." She murmured, placing the PADDs on his desk and fetching a bowl of cool water and a rag. He needed to be cooled down a little but she didn't want to give him a fever reducer, low-grade fevers were actually helpful to the healing process. Carefully she placed the cool rag on his forehead.

"Whadya think yer doin'?" He rasped, his green-grey eyes snapping open.

"You looked a little too warm but I didn't want to give you a fever reducer." She murmured, shifting from sitting on the bed beside him to the chair that Jim had probably pulled over when he'd visited earlier.

"But why are yeh 'ere?" He asked, shifting to sit up more. "An' where are mah files?" He fixed her with a firm glare. Instead of igniting a tremor of fear the expression filled her with relief. _Good, he's still himself. He's in good shape._

"I came to check up on you, Len." She admitted, fetching his PADDs and giving them back to him. "You were asleep so I moved them."

"Ah coulda go'en 'em." He muttered. "Ahm nawt ah invalid, woman."

Liv threw up her hands in mock surrender, trying not to let his words or temper get to her. "Fine, fine. Call me if you need me." It would get worse, both his temper and the illness, and eventually he'd need her there constantly, so she'd take the breaks when she could and be thankful for them.

February 13th 0700 Hours

Leonard could handle a low-grade fever, aches, and a nasty, painful cough. He had to change his sheets frequently because he was sweating on and off, but aside from that he managed it pretty damn well. He'd completely caught up on his paperwork, made notes on the patient files for Liv and the other shift doctors, and spent a lot of time sleeping.

But as he woke, early morning, a few days after falling ill, Leonard knew the second phase of the illness had struck him. He lurched out of bed, eyes blurry and half-blind in the darkness of his room, heading straight for the bathroom. He hardly made it before he brought up whatever he hadn't digested from his soup the night before. It wasn't much but it tasted foul and his entire body felt as if it were of fire and somehow freezing, all at once.

Once his stomach had settled, after multiple heaves that left his stomach burning in pain, he flushed and pulled himself to the shower. He wasn't going back to bed unless he was 100% sure he was clean and he could hardly see straight. Leaning against the wall he managed to peel off his sweaty pants and shirt but the effort left his limbs trembling.

_Ah should 'urry._ "Computer!" Len croaked, tipping his face into the direction of the faucet. "Shower on, 89*." The water immediately streamed over his burning cheeks and face and he sighed slightly in release. The water was hot but it felt cool against his fevered cheeks. He needed a fever reducer.

"Computer." He said after a long minute, contemplating the likelihood of his managing to get himself to sickbay and back again, while he washed his hair and body as vigorously as he could with his weakened limbs. "Call Lieutenant Livine Kirk."

A moment later… "Len, you okay?" Liv's worried voice floated over the comm., soft enough not to bother his pounding head but carrying enough to be heard over the water.

"Ah need yeh." He managed to force himself to mutter, shoving his pride as far away as he could. _Lord, kill meh now._ He thought.

"Tell me what you need me to bring for you." She said, her voice no longer the one she used to speak to ill patients but her normal one, still soft but no longer as gentle. Maybe she picked up on his suffering pride. He couldn't help but like the girl for it though. She was letting him diagnose himself.

"Fever reduceah, somethin' for nausea, and some clean sheets an' pants." He'd ruined the last ones with sweat and there was no way in hell he was suffering through a shower on his weak as a kitten legs just to fall back into a nasty bed and nasty pants.

"You got it Doc." Liv teased slightly and he heard the buzz of the disconnected comm. He couldn't help it. He laughed, though doing so ached his already sore ribs. _What would Ah do with out that girl? _He wondered.

Liv walked into Len's quarters with a small amount of trepedation. She wasn't entirely sure what state he was in and while tending patients overrode her fear of men he was, after all, he boss. What she found, however, was far from what she expected.

When they'd first met, in the Fleet Bar, she'd noticed the strength of his arms. She'd never really let herself contemplate it however. All of a sudden she was trying to figure out how to remove her jaw from the floor and reattach it.

Leonard leaned against the wall just outside his bathroom, a towel wrapped precariously around his waist, dropping to expose his hips. His broad shoulders and chest were well-muscled, defined but not bulky, his biceps and triceps were much more pronounced than she'd expected, and his stomach, while not Jim's perfect six pack, was tones and lean. His slightly tanned skin was pulled deliciously taunt across those muscles, leaving his all flat planes and angles- none of the slight pudge she'd convinced herself he'd have. Over all he didn't look much like Liv pictured doctors.

But after her initial shock, and the momentary '_Hellooo yummie_!' thought that had crossed her mind, she noticed signs that worried her. His skin glistened with water, as did his dark hair, but he didn't look cooled. He was darkly flushed, from the roots of his hair down to below the towel. He was clearly sweating, and he looked like he could hardly stand. Even his usually sharp green eyes were hazy with fever.

"Liv?" He asked, looking at her with lidded eyes. "Ah must look ah saght ta make yeh hes'ta'e." His drawl was worse and his words were slow and slurred.

"Well you do look pretty awful." She admitted, forcing away the heat that was suddenly thrumming through her veins too. _Am I getting sick too?_ She wondered as she made her way to his side. "Back into the bathroom, put the pants on while I make the bed up with clean sheets." She ordered, pressing the pants into his long-fingered, strong hands. The heat of them burned her and she but her lip in worry. _That's a REALLY nasty fever._ She thought with a frown.

Len moved to do as she'd said, not complaining. That worried her more. Len was ALWAYS snarking about something, and he had REASON to snark. Quickly she began stripping his bed, tossing the sweat-soaked sheets into a pile for the laundry, and remaking it with efficiency developed over two decades of doing the task.

"Computer, tell me Leonard McCoy's vitals please." She ordered the computer, fluffing the pillows and wondering if she should fetch him more.

"His body temperature is 104.6 degrees, he is sweating profusely, his heart rate is at 105 beats per minute, and his blood pressure is elevated to 149 over 89." The computer answered and Liv flinched. She needed Len in bed and medicated ASAP.

"That's pretty bad." Rasped Len's croaky voice from the doorway. "Ah need medication an' rest." He walked slowly toward the bed. His coordination was beginning to fail a little but he could still get around. He all but fell into his bed, his bare chest rising and falling rapidly. "Lord Ah feel awf'l" He groaned, shifting himself to lay back against the pillows.

Liv said nothing, not wanting to upset his pride, he was already trying NOT to fight her. "This will help." She said after he'd gotten comfortable and tugged the sheet up to hide his rather delicious chest. Gently she injected him with a fever reducer and a mild medication to lower his BP. A happy side effect was it would make him less nauseous and sleepy. "I'll be here when you wake up." She promised as his eyes drifted shut.

Liv looked around at the room that was fast becoming familiar to her. _This is gonna be a long few days._ She told herself with a little sigh.

February 17th 1403 Hours

Liv smiled brightly at the tricorder in her hands. _Finally,_ she mentally cheered, _FINALLY!_ Len's fever had broken and he was sleeping naturally for the first time in days. _The worst is over._ She told herself, feeling hugely relieved. _No more Len-sitting_. The very thought of returning to her messy, loud, chaotic day job was enough to make her want to leap for joy.

No more fighting with a fever-addled Len over which medication was best, how much sleep he needed, how much supervision he needed… Doctors really WERE the worst patients and Len had to be in a class all his own, he was THAT much damned trouble. No more sweaty sheets, no more helping him into the shower, no more stripping him down to his boxers (which had been a definitely awkward experience). And best of all - no more vomit. Liv HATED vomit. It made her stomach turn. But she'd held his head each time he was sick, cleaned him up, and tucked him back into bed…

Liv glanced up at Len's sleeping form. He'd tossed his sheet away a bit, it covered from just below his hips, leaving his bare chest exposed. _And no more fighting myself over oogling my Boss's bare chest._ Liv added, pulling her eyes away from the toned, broad chest and strong arms to his face. His cheeks were only slightly pinked under the weeks worth of scruff he'd accumulated.

Gently she brushed her hand against his cheek again, as she had the first day she'd realized he was ill. The almost beard didn't rasp like the very slight scruff had, instead it almost tickled her hand, feeling both soft and rough. Gently she brushed his hair from his forehead and tested his temperature with her hand- a comforting if inaccurate method her Mother had always used whenever Liv had been sick and her Mom had been home- his skin was warm, but not frighteningly so. He wasn't even sweating.

Len woke feeling much, much better than he had in days to the gentle sensation of a hand brushing against his scruffy cheek. It felt surprisingly good, better than he remembered it feeling when Jocelyn had done it, so many years ago. The hand, soft and small, traveled up to his forehead and tested his temperature. It was comforting, if really inaccurate, and the last time he remembered anyone doing it to him was decades before, when his Dad had still been in the picture.

"You're gonna be just fine, Len." Liv's voice promised as the hand disappeared. Something cool and gentle pressed to his forehead, feather light. _Did she just kiss meh?_ He wondered, fighting to remain still, with his eyes closed. The pressure left but he could almost tell that Liv's lips were still very, very close to his forehead. "Sleep well." The words made her lips brush lightly against his skin, almost too soft to feel, and heat rose in his gut, tight and demanding.

As Liv shifted off his bed and he heard her settling into her chair, the arm chair he had purchased for his rooms but never really used that she'd commandeered days ago, he tried to think of something, anything, besides the hunger her most innocent kiss had ignited in him.

_Ah've been with awt fah too damned long._ He told himself, brushing off his reaction to her. He absolutely could NOT want his PA…

"Can I tell you something?" Liv asked him softly from the chair beside his bed. Le's breath caught and his heart stopped. Did she know he was awake? Before he could answer she laughed softly. "Sure I can, you're asleep." _Thank yeh Lord._ He prayed silently, for some reason very, very glad she didn't know he was awake.

"I'm sorry for freaking out a little over the whole… physical thing. I suppose it's just… I've never let ANYONE but Jim and Blake see those scars, because… I guess I'm afraid. Afraid of telling someone, afraid of the pity… or worse, that if I open up someone will say that I deserved what I got, that I was asking for it… just like _they_ did.

"I _wasn't_ a bad kid," she whispered emphatically and all of a sudden Len wanted to hug her, hold her and promise he knew she wasn't, that what she'd gone through had been wrong and reprehensible. "I really _wasn't_. And neither was Jim. We were good kids, a little mischievous, but come on, kids are kids. They get themselves into the dumbest shit. And we did too, but it was never that terrible.

"Like the car. You know about the car, the Corvette Jimmy drove off a cliff…" Yes, Len remembered the Corvette. He couldn't believe Jim would do something so damned stupid… "Jimmy did that to punish Frank." _WHAT?!_ Len thought. "Jim had detention the day before and I came home from school… Frank, our step-dad, he nearly beat me to death. I dunno what for. I don't think he was drunk, but what did I know… I was eight. If Jimmy hadn't found me when he did… I'd of died. Jimmy drove the car off the cliff to retaliate…" _Now it makes sense…_ Len thought bitterly. _Jim's insane protectiveness of her, their closeness…_ Liv's voice began to drift, to fade, as if she was falling asleep.

"And the nightmares… the reasons Jim comes to my room sometimes… I can't escape them… Frank and Sam- our step-dads- they're the monster's in my head, waiting for me in my dreams. I can't escape them." Her breathing slowed, faded into the deep rhythm of sleep.

Leonard, though tired and still sick, stayed awake for hours, replaying her words over and over again in his head. She was afraid, afraid of him, of everyone, but she fought it and tried to socialize. And while he'd been shocked as to the extent of the abuse she had to of suffered from her scaring, he began to wonder if there was much, much more that hadn't left a physical mark on her…

AN: So? Like the kiss? I loved writing the little, innocent kiss and Len's reaction to it… and Liv's reaction to Len… hello YUMMIE! If you need a visual just watch 'Pathfinder' he's shirtless in like the first half of the movie. In fact Kerl Urban is in a loincloth for half of the movie and runs around with a sword. There is a reaon it's one of my favorite movies…

ANYWAY, back on track! Exams this week and next so I might and might not post early next week but I should by next week Friday or Saturday. But as always, REVIEW = PREVIEW!!!!! Show me the love! Get your opinions known! Just be sure you LOG IN because tho I accept reviews from those who aren't logged in I can't shoot ya a reply unless you're logged in!

Ciao!


	17. Birthdays Are Just Painful Reminders

AN: Len and Liv are getting a little closer and now something to bring up even more pain. Anyone know Jim's birthday? Well you're about to find out… Warning, major dark moments, be warned. NOT for those under the age of 16!

2259 – February 24th 0700 Hours

Leonard walked back into his Sick Bay and smiled. Finally, all was right with his world once more. He walked straight into his office, looking around only enough to be sure the place was still in it's usual, perfect, regulation standard shape. It was. Liv, it seemed, was more than capable of running his baby in his absence. It was a little disturbing to know he wasn't needed but it was nice to know that should he be seriously injured, or worse killed, the ship and his crew would be in damn good hands.

His office was just as he'd left it, clean and tidy, all save for two things. On his desk sat a mug of steaming black coffee that smelled divine, clearly Liv's own stuff not the replicated crap the rest of the crew had to deal with, and a small card sitting beside the mug.

"Leonard," it read, "Just a little something from us all to say welcome back!" in bold, black calligraphy and was signed by every member of the medical team. On the inside of the front flap was another little note, scrawled with blue ink. "Don't you EVER get sick again, Dr. McCoy," it read, "If you leave us with that totalitarian P.A. of yours ever again we'll be forced to kill her. Glad you're back." It was signed by the Gama and Beta shift Doctors and their PA's.

He couldn't help it, he laughed.

2259 - March 1st 0800 Hours

Liv scowled slightly at her older friends as they twittered, shooting her less than sneaky glances every few moments. With a huff she turned on her heel and stormed into Len's office. He glanced up from his desk, and the pile of PADDs occupying him, his green-grey eyes slightly startled. "Liv?" He half asked, half-growled.

"Make them stop." Liv demanded, pointing toward the nurses though there was a wall between her and them so Len couldn't actually see who 'them' was.

Len smiled very slightly, just the slightest tightening of his lips and the tiniest upward curl of one corner of his mouth. "Wat are t'ey doin?"

"Planning something." Liv growled in her best 'Annoyed Len' imitation. "And seeing as they're glancing at me in wanna-be sneaky ways and twittering I'm assuming it has to do with…"

"The fourth." Leonard finished, his eyes suddenly shifting to understanding and worry. "Damn it Ah forgawt." He gave her a measured look. "Ah suppose yeh 'ate yer bir'hday as much as Jim." Liv nodded, realizing suddenly that, as Jimmy's best friend, Len was probably used to the issues that plagued their birthday. "Ah'll deal with 'em, don' worry."

Liv nodded and turned before hesitating and turning back. He lifted a single brow at her in curiosity. Liv blushed and handed him the PADD in her hands. "I need your signature on this."

Len took the PADD and glanced at it. "What am Ah signin'?"

Liv shrugged, leaning back against the door, relaxing into their job. "A report on the physical health of Ensign Pavel Chekov. Poor kid had the Cardassian flu, same as you, but he's not allergic to the serum. I administered it and now he's fine. Vitals are in the chart." Leonard pulled out the stylus and signed his name without looking at the chart on file.

Liv blanched. "You didn't even…"

Len handed the PADD back without looking at her, focusing back on his work. "Ah trust yeh, Liv. Yeh say the kid's fahne then the Kid's fahne."

Liv just stood and stared at Len for a moment, trying to process the statement. _He trusts my ability that much?_ She thought, wonderingly. A single, long-fingered, strong hand flapped at her dismissively. "Get back ta work, girl." He told her after a moment.

Liv grinned. "You got it, Doc." She teased and left the room.

2259 – March 1st 2100 Hours

Leonard huffed, exhausted, as he slumped into a seat near Chris in the Mess Hall. "Alraght, we're 'ere Chris. Whaddya want, girl?" He snapped at his younger friend. He was ready to go to his room, pour himself a drink, and read through Joanna's latest collection of stories- she'd had to write a short story in class and found she loved the exercise, so she'd kept it up.

Chris shot him a little glare but looked around at the assembled people- Spock, Nyota, Galia, Scotty, Blake, Pavel, and himself. "Look, in three days is Jim's and Liv's birthday and they HATE their birthday, as most of us know." Len saw Spock lift a single brow but Chris waved him off. _Those two…_ He thought with a mental shake. "We have to convince the entire crew that a party would be the worst possible idea without spilling too much about why they hate their birthday."

"Vay do dey 'ate deir bwirthday?" Chekov asked, looking startled.

Chris turned to the kid but Len jumped in, "They were born the day the _U.S.S. Kelvin_ was destroyed, Kid. It was their Dad who was acting Captain. He 'went down with the ship'." The nautical metaphor was perfect for the situation and the kid seemed to get it, though it was probably from before his time.

_Damn that Kid makes meh feel old._ He thought as the boy's eyes widened and he nodded slowly. "Da, dat makes sense."

"So parties in particular, but also gifts and even mentioning their birthday is a bad idea. Just… let them try to forget. Understand they might be waspish or foul tempered and try not to take it personally. For some stupid reason they blame themselves for their Father's death, it's… it's not gonna be pretty."

"'S ah leave day." Len added, remembering his plans for Jim for the day in question. "Jus' avoid 'em if yeh can."

March 4th 0100 Hours

Liv sighed when the warm body curled up next to her on her small bed, the firm chest and warm, familiar arms and scent reached her sleep-addled brain. "Jimmy?" She asked, half-waking from her fitful sleep.

"I can't sleep." Her twin admitted, burrowing into her arms to place his head on her shoulder as opposed to holding her as he usually did. The nagging feeling of worry in the back of her mind grew stronger, coupled with the self-loathing she could hear in his voice Liv forced herself to wake up more.

She half sat up, propping her back against the little headboard and her pillows. Jim curled himself around her like she was a giant teddy bear. "Tell me." She prompted gently, running her fingers through her twin's short hair.

"It's stupid." He muttered against her night shirt. Liv just poked his shoulder. Jim huffed but finally began speaking. "I feel like it's my fault." Jim admitted quietly.

"What?" Liv prompted again, worried. _Dad's death wasn't yours or my fault._ She added mentally.

"Everything." Jim murmured. "Dad's death, Mom not being able to be near us, Frank, Sam… Everything." Liv felt little spots of damp hit her shirt as Jim began to silently cry. "I'm so sorry, Livie." He whispered. "If I'd been a better brother none of this would have happened to us."

Liv felt her chest constrict. "Jim…" She sighed and rubbed her twin's back. "Shhh, it's okay Jim. It's not your fault." She whispered, fighting back tears of her own. "Dad's dead because he made a choice. He died a hero, Jimmy."

"He's still dead." Jim growled. "Hero or not, he wasn't there to protect us, to take care of us. But he wouldn't have chosen to die if it weren't for me."

"Us." Liv murmured, shaking Jim slightly. "He died because of US. You, me, and Mom. And if we hadn't been conceived he'd of still done it Jimmy. Because Daddy loved Mom. It was no one's fault except Nero's, and Nero is dead."

"Well how about Mom, huh?" Jim asked bitterly through his angry tears. Liv bit her lip to fight back her own tears. "Mom wouldn't even look at us because of me."

"That's not your fault Jim." Liv argued. "I looked like Daddy too. We're twins, remember?" _We looked so much like Daddy she couldn't stand to look at us. She left us to try and forget, and we were just horrible little reminders._

"She doesn't love us." Jim whispered. "She hates us. Because we remind her. But me the most, Livie. I look just like him, especially now. Everyone said I was Dad's double, physically and personality wise."

Finally Liv's tears welled up, and began tracking slowly down her cheeks. "It's not your fault Jimmy. Mom just… Mom couldn't get over her hurt to love again. She never loved anyone again, not even Sam or Frank."

"What about them, then?" Jim asked, quietly, as if he expected a remand. She knew the feeling, she'd been there, but she'd never expected Jim to think she'd blame him… "Frank and Sam. I should have protected you better, Livie. Look at what they did to you." _I don't need to look._ Liv thought bitterly, _I know exactly what they did to me, I know every cut, every bruise, every broken bone, those that scarred and those that didn't._ "You don't even trust Bones enough to have a physical without spending nearly a whole month avoiding it through pranks and trickery and down right avoidance.

"And look at me," Jim laughed bitterly, the sound odd because of his tears. "I'm incapable of loving anyone but you. I can't even make myself tell this to Ny… I'm too afraid of what she'll think."

Liv sobbed slightly, trying to fight the involuntary action. "No, No… Jimmy it was never your fault. You did what you could." He'd taken so many more of Frank's beatings, and done everything he could to protect her from Sam… "We were kids. And it was never our fault." She whispered firmly, though she hardly believed it herself. "It wasn't our fault. They were monsters, we didn't deserve it. No one does. Don't let them have control of you now, Jimmy, we fought so hard to get rid of them, don't let them win."

Jim nodded slowly, crying silently, soaking her shirt. "I'm sorry though." He whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

Liv just nodded. "Me too, me too." So they began their birthday as they often had as kids, curled up together, crying, and missing the father they never got to have. After well over an hour they drifted into sleep, curled up together like puppies in a basket.

0900 Hours

Liv woke up to an alarm she hadn't set the night before. She smiled sadly as she recognized the song. Such a good song, one of her favorites. Trust Jim to remember and try to brighten her day with it.

"You with the sad eyes," she sang softly, sitting up and stretching, "Don't be discouraged, oh I realize it's hard to take courage. In a world full of people, you can loose sight of it all, and Darkness can make you feel so small."

Heading over to the coffee maker she noticed a little note on her desk. "But I see your true colors shining through, I see your true colors, and that's why I love you." The note had Jim's messy scrawl and she lifted it, reading over it though she sang along. "So don't be afraid to let them show your true colors, true colors are beautiful like a rainbow."

_Livie, saw you'd planned to work the late shift today. No way in hell. Try to enjoy leave today, it's the only bit we get for a while._ There was no signature but she didn't need one. She knew Jim's untidy scrawl anywhere.

"Pain in my ass." She muttered, letting the note drop into the trash, "Ruin all my plans to work on my Birthday." She didn't want to think, she wanted to go all day on autopilot, tending crewmembers who ate food they shouldn't have, slept with aliens they shouldn't have, and possibly even gotten into a bar brawl with an alien they shouldn't have.

With a huff of annoyance she wandered into her bathroom, planning what else she could do for the day…

1200 Hours

Jim followed his best friend into the bar, more than happy with his choice of distractions. Bones could understand, at least a little, what it meant to have regrets, to have demons. And he knew the best methods to banish them!

"Bones, you're awesome." Jim said as he slapped his older friend's back. "I needed this, thanks man."

"Not a problem Kid." He answered, sliding into a booth and motioning for a waitress. He nodded toward Jim's hand. "What's with the ring, boy?"

Jim blushed slightly, half pleased, half embarrassed. "Ny gave it to me for my birthday. Apparently it's a promise ring." He fiddled with the platinum band on his right ring finger. "Apparently I'm hers and she's damn well gonna make sure I remember it until I work up the nerve to ask her to marry me."

Bones laughed, a deep, hearty laugh. "That woman 's somethin' else. Yeh know yer gonna haff ta ask 'er sooner rather than lat'r." Bones' hand lashed out and caught the chain around his neck. "What's this?" He asked.

Jim grinned slightly. "Chekov. He gave 'em to me for Christmas. They're old style dog tags."

"That kid's got ah good heart." Bones said, nodding. "He's got a soft spot for yeh and yer sister."

Jim smiled dazzlingly at the waitress as she brought him a beer even though she wasn't very pretty. _What type of alien is she?_ He half-wondered. "Yea, the boy needs a family. I sort of get the feeling he thinks of me as a brother."

"Take it as a compliment." Bones muttered.

Jim looked sideways, his lips pursing in a frown. "I'm not a good man to have as a brother." _Look at how piss poor I was at protecting Livie or myself… _"I wouldn't wish me on anyone as family."

"Stop that right now, yeh 'ere." Bones snapped, leveling a stern glare at Jim. "Ah'll 'it yeh if yeh say such shit again. Liv would tan yer hide if she 'eard yeh talkin' lahke that."

Jim laughed, feeling just a little lighter. "I didn't know you two were getting to be such good friends."

"Ya know she stayed the w'ole tahme Ah was sick." Bones admitted, gruffly and Jim had to fight a grin. _Liv's getting' to ya, you Cantankerous Southern Bastard. And I doubt she even knows it yet…_

Liv felt the sunlight hit her face, heard the laughter and happy sounds of the locals and her peers, and saw their smiles. Her stomach churned, her blood froze despite the heat of the twin suns. Turning on her heel Liv marched back to the transporter platform. Narrowing her eyes at the technician as she stepped onto the pad was apparently effective enough communication. He immediately tapped in the code and she was wisked back to the _Enterprise_ by the swirling lights.

Liv felt almost pathetic, not being able to stomach the much needed break a Shore Leave Day offered, but it just… it was enough to make her feel ill. She stalked through the halls, headed for her quarters. She couldn't force herself to stomach all the joy and happiness when it contrasted so sharply with the hate and self-pity that filled her.

It was a relief when her doors hissed shut behind her. Jim had the right idea. Time to get miserably drunk, but not is such a public setting. Turning to the control pad by her door Liv locked the doors, sealing them with Jim's Captain's code. No one would be allowed in without the EMC's and surely Len would be busy enough with one drunk Kirk.

Heading straight to the replicator Liv missed the tiny pile of things on her coffee table until after she'd made herself a Pimms and Lemonade. Heading for her favorite chair she nearly spilled the sweet drink when she finally noticed them.

"What must I do?" Liv half-hissed in anger and hurt, "To make those who supposedly know me realize I fucking HATE my God-damned BIRTHDAY!" She wanted to throw the gifts out simply from spite, or at least throw and smash something.

But her better sense won out and controlled, if not soothed, her rage. Settling into her chair, luxuriating in the plush pillows conforming to her frame, Liv looked through the small-ish pile.

The first thing to catch her eye was a palm-sized figurine. Liv picked it up and a small note fell from the small hole exposing the hallow inside. "Liv" it read, "I know we're not real close but Blake said sometimes he thought you needed a little reminder of how wonderful you really are. –Edward"

It was almost sweet and the mingled grief and adoration the silly note, combined with her own nearly overwhelming self-loathing, sparked tears that began to slowly well-up in her eyes. The angel, she noted as she examined it, looked almost exactly like her. Brilliant blue eyes, delicate but masculine-ish features, the short shock of blonde hair… She set it down before she dropped it.

A small box caught her eye and Liv picked up the dark blue fabric covered earring box, because it had to be an earring box- given it was too small for a bracelet or necklace but too big for a ring. She opened the box and bit her lip as tears began streaming down her cheeks. Her heart ached and she felt enormously guilty. _How could I have thought of trashing this?_ She scolded herself, peering down at the beautiful blue topaz earrings that matched her new necklace. _Pavel…_ She thought affectionately. _This is way too much you silly boy._ And if only for the barest moment her grief and loathing lifted and she felt a glimmer of hope and affection. _Hey… They look like stars…_ She thought absently.

But nothing was enough to force away her pain. And as the light of her rooms caught on the little blue gems a memory pulled her from her little place of comfort and forced her back into a nightmare.

_The stars glittered in the night sky as Sammie bit her lip, wondering if she could manage to hold in her need. At not quite ten she shouldn't need to hold her bladder all night long and risk wetting herself and her bed. She could tell when she needed to go, she could wake up in time, she could handle the darkness. But she couldn't risk making her way to the bathroom, or using the toilet, for fear of waking Frank._

_But it was late, really late, her eyes were SO heavy, and she REALLY had to go, AND there were no more clean sheets… As terrified as she was, she REALLY needed to go… So Sammie risked it. Silently she half-pranced to her door and very, VERY slowly opened the door, mindful of squeak it would make if she opened it too far or too fast. All was silent in the house._

_So Sammie half-ran, as quiet as a mouse, to the bathroom door. It was open, as usual, so she didn't have to risk opening it in the hallway, where there was nothing to hide behind if Frank chose to wander or wake. The hinges didn't make a sound as she shut the door without turning on the lights. They'd wake Frank._

_The terror wasn't subsiding, making it TO the bathroom wasn't even half the task. But she knew how to lock the door, even in the darkness, and she knew where everything was. So she slunk, blindly, to the toilet and tried to be as silent as possible as she peed. She couldn't be totally sound-less but it wasn't loud. Still though Sammie stopped three times and listened, just in case. The house was silent._

_Finally finished Sammie hopped off and considered flushing or not as she used the water-free hand soap. If Frank got up first and saw someone hadn't flushed she'd be in for it. Frank would probably leave bruises that would last weeks. It hurt just to think about. But if she did and he woke up…_

_It was a hard decision but in the end Sammie decided she should probably flush. Frank hadn't woke up yet and if she unlocked the door and hid maybe he would think he imagined it… if he even woke up. He'd been REALLY drunk earlier, too drunk to chase her when she'd 'sassed' him._

_Sammie unlocked the door, opened it, hopped in the bathtub, hid behind the curtain, and flushed the toilet. Terror over took her as she heard Frank cussing, feet hit the floor, and running. The door banged against the wall as Frank pushed it out of his way (he was HUGE), Sammie held her breath._

_The light turned on. She could hear Frank standing in the doorway, panting, She could imagine his drunken frown and had to fight a giggle, despite her urge to curl into a ball or run for cover. She couldn't move… couldn't even breath, of he'd figure it out._

_FINALLY Frank left, turning out the light and pulling the door shut. Still Sammie didn't move, or even dare to breathe much. After a few minutes more Sammie slid silently from the bathtub and crept to the door. She stood behind it and listened._

_The house was silent. Sammie opened the door…_

_And walked straight into Frank's fist. Her whole world went black as she heard Jimmy yell…_

Liv practically dropped the earrings onto the table. "Haven't remembered THA in a long time." She murmured to herself, taking a long drink from her large glass. She needed the calming, deadening effects of the booze for once. Being so close to Jim on their birthday for the first time in over five years was bring up so many memories better left in the darkness of the back of her mind.

Dark, nearly black, blue silk slid through her fingers. Liv didn't need a note to know the beautiful robe was from Uhura. She'd admired her brother's sweetheart's golden and red one only a few weeks prior. A pale green blanket was next- the small note saying Lily loved her. Liv bundled herself up in the gift, she was slowly loosing the heat of her anger, fading into pity and anguish.

Under the blanket was a bottle of Apple Snapps. One of her favorite liquors to get drunk on. There was no note but Liv smiled affectionately at the bottle. "I swear Blake," she muttered though her best friend wasn't actually around, "if you weren't gay…" she stood the bottle up and looked down at it. "Once I'm done with my Pimms." She muttered, whether to herself or the bottle of apple liquor she wasn't sure but it was almost nice to talk to someone…

1902 Hours

Len half-wondered if it was time yet to stop Jim. The kid had drunk freakishly large amounts of booze but was still rambling, swaying, laughing, flirting… He watched his best friend and smiled a very small, sad, indulgent smile as Jim tripped over his feet AGAIN and dropped what was left of his beer down some (hopefully) female alien's shirt.

It was only when Jim's hands began inching for the woman's (??) shirt hem that Len finally decided to intervene. A drunk Jim would fuck anything, probably just for the guise of intimacy it offered him, but Nyota would tan both their hides and Len wanted to live to see his daughter married.

His hand curled around Jim's arm and he tugged very lightly. "Come on Jim, time to go. Tell your nice friend good night." He told the drunken fool. Jim swayed and smiled idiotically. He mumbled something that sounded like a farewell as Len slapped his credits onto the bar. "This should cover it." Len told the bartender with a nod. The alien looked it over and nodded, grinning. With that Len managed to pull Jim from the bar and walk with him, swaying, down the street.

2037 Hours

Jim glanced at Bones as the older man tucked him into bed. He was so HAPPY, and giggly. Everything was funny, absolutely everything. Which was nice, since usually everything hurt- physically hurt because the emotional pain was so deep and powerful. He felt nothing, not the bed under his back and ass or the blanket that covered him.

With a sigh he grinned at his friend. "You're the best Bones" he tried to say but it didn't feel like he'd said it right. It had felt funny… Oh well. Bones would understand.

"You go to sleep kid," Bones told him as gently as the man ever could be. _Is this how it feels to have a Dad tuck you in?_ Jim half wondered, the thought crashed over his drunken mind like a wave upon a cliff, crashing and washing away in half an instant. He didn't feel the prick in his neck as a hypo was pressed to his skin, probably to prevent the booze in his system from killing him. "Good Night Jim." Bones murmured as Jim's eyes were drifting shut.

Darkness enveloped him as Jim let his mind fade away thought he knew it wasn't really late…

"BONES!" He gasped, surprisingly not slurring the words. His eyes flew open, he half sat up. His friend stood in the doorway, foot hanging in midair as he froze. "Livie." Jim managed to say before the darkness forced him under.

Len stood outside Liv's room, contemplating going in. Jim had felt it necessary to check on her, even as drunk as he was. And while Len couldn't quantify or understand the bond Jim and Liv had he knew to trust it- after all, he trusted Jim and Jim trusted it. But would she really want the intrusion? Their relationship wasn't easy and it was still so delicate. The wrong move could send his abused filly running for the hills and he'd never catch her…

Livie had long since finished her Pimms, the whole bottle, and half of the Snapps. With a little sigh she took a sip of the fruity liquid. It didn't burn anymore, not that it really had anyway but she wasn't even feeling it anymore. It was like juice almost.

Except her world tilted and swayed though she was curled into her chair, totally unmoving. Old memories floated into and out of her mind, creating a collage of pain and fear behind her eyes but no matter how much she drank it wouldn't stop.

"_Stupid useless BITCH!"_ A voice screamed in her head as phantom pain blossomed in her skull.

"_Be a good girl and keep it up." Her hips twisting in a weird, jerky little dance though her hands were chained above her. All the while Sam's big hand jerked up and down in his pants and Sammie didn't know why…_ Her wrists ached.

"_I… I just can't." Her Mommy said, looking away. "Get on the shuttle kids." Sammie and Jimmy, age eleven, boarded the shuttle bound for the planet Tartus. Why didn't her Mommy want them?_

"_His eyes," She heard her Mommy mutter._ Her earliest memory… she didn't know how old she was but it was before school even. _"His smile, his hair. Lord why am I cursed with two children I can't even LOOK at? How can I love them?" Sammie didn't know why her Mommy didn't love her… What was wrong with her eyes? She had Jimmy's eyes…_

_Livie packed her bags as Jim stood in the doorway, his jaw was set. "You're going?" He asked her bitterly._

"_You're supposed to come with me Jim." Liv argued, shooting him a sad, confused look. "Why aren't you coming with me? I can't do this alone."_

_His arms wrapped around her, tight and strong. "You're never alone Liv. You always have me. I love you more than anything… I just… Mom needs one of us to stay."_

_Liv sniffed, rage boiling up in her chest. "She never did a damn thing for us." She argued knowing she wouldn't win. Jimmy was too stubborn._

_Jim snatched the picture frame from her bag, where she'd wrapped it in shirts to protect it, "And he did?" Jim asked, holding up the handmade, ceramic picture frame. Liv looked into the face of a man she'd never gotten to know. A man who she both loved and hated, feared and hero-worshiped. Her face… Jim's face._

The memories faded and Liv snatched the picture frame off the coffee table, where she'd placed it hours earlier. She traced the familiar lines of the man's handsome face, looked into eyes that smiled just like her own did when she smiled. "You're an asshole." She told her father's image. "I hate you, you know that?" Her free hand curled into a fist- where had her drink gone? It didn't matter.

As she spoke the words the cold numbness of her body slowly shifted, slowly warmed, hate and rage building again. "You left me Father-less AND Mother-less. I wish we'd all died that day, twenty six years ago." And in that instant she DID wish it. "It's your fault." She snapped, her voice slowly rising from a hoarse whisper of hurt to something more…

"Do you know what they did to me?" she asked the man in the picture. "Do you know how that HURT ME?!" She was almost yelling now. "Where were you, huh? Where was the great Star Fleet hero when I NEEDED HIM?!"

She'd never yelled like this before, so loud, so full of hate and anger. She'd never given in to the rage. "I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU USELESS SON-OF-A-BITCH!" And in a fit of rage Liv threw the picture frame. The sudden crash as it hit the wall and shattered shocked her but filled her with a perverse sense of satisfaction.

"How does it feel to be broken?" She asked angrily but quietly. "How does it feel to know you will never be the same again? To be helpless, in pain, and afraid?"

For a long moment Liv could only hear the pounding of her blood in her ears. Slowly she could hear her own harsh breaths and as her heart slowed a little the rage flickered out like a light. Guilt replaced it almost immediately.

_He died protecting me._ She scolded herself. _He showed the most absolute love by doing what he did. He's… He's a hero. _Tears flooded her eyes suddenly as the pain came back in a rush, no longer kept back by the booze and the rage. She began to sob. _He's my hero._ She told herself.

With a significant wobble Liv hauled herself to her feet. "I'm sorry Daddy." She whimpered through her sobs, stumbling to the shattered frame. She lifted the picture free of the sharp shards and held it to her chest. "I'm so sorry Daddy." _MyDaddyMyHero_, she thought over and over again as the tears continued. She could hardly see. With her free hand Liv reached out and lifted a shard of picture frame.

Was it repairable, she wanted to know. Could she find a way to fix what she'd destroyed? The glaze was slick and Liv had been sweating a little, the shard began to slip from her hand. Liv clasped it tightly, trying to prevent it from falling, her inebriated mind not realizing her folly until it was too late.

Liv gasped as pain lanced up from her palm and blood began to drip rather quickly from her hand, and the shard, onto the floor. Such a bright red…

_Livie cried out as the once white hot blade, now just hot blade, bit into her thigh. Sam liked it when she cried out, staying silent sometimes was worth it but she couldn't make herself keep quiet. The long cut began to bleed heavily, the blade no longer hot enough to cauterize…_

Len wrapped his arm's around Liv as he crouched behind her. "LIV!" He snapped, trying to pull her back against his chest so he could look over her shoulder to see the extent of the damage. Panic welled up in his chest. God what had she done?

"NO!" Liv yelled, struggling with force he hadn't expected having seen the nearly empty Snapps bottle. She trashed in his arms, her sobs turning panicked. "No, NO! STOP IT!"

"Liv it's Len!" Len snapped, tightening his arms around her. "Liv stop! I'm not going to hurt you!" She continued to struggle and yell for a moment more. "LIV!" He finally got her back flush to his chest and he shook her. Slowly her panic subsided. "Liv, it's okay, it's just meh." He murmured into her ear as she relaxed.

"Len?" she asked with a little sob.

Leonard fought a bitter laugh. It was seriously disturbing how much he liked the hopeful, almost relieved, tone to her voice. "Yeah, it's meh Darlin'." He told her gently. "Let meh take ah look at yer 'and."

"M'fine." She slurred, struggling lightly, not fighting him but his concern. He realized she'd never been so relaxed in his arms.

"Don't yeh lie to meh, Liv." He said firmly in a disapproving voice. Her head lolled back onto his shoulder and she turned her head. Her nose brushed along his jaw.

"Hi." She murmured, hiccupping slightly. "How did you get in?"

Len rolled his yes and reached for the first aide he saw at the foot of her bed. He opened the box with one hand and found the dermal regenerator as his second hand curled around the wrist of her injured hand. "Emergency Medical Codes." He answered a little gruffly.

"It wasn't an emergency." Liv murmured. Len was incredibly thankful her sobbing had stopped, even though tears still slid own her beautiful, red tinged cheeks from her red-rimmed, puffy eyes.

"Ah 'eard ah crash an' yellin. Ah used mah judgment as ah Doctah." He told her, finally finding the dermal regenerator. "Let meh take ah look, Darlin'." He murmured, gently pulling her hand from her chest so he could see the fist. She let him and opened her fingers when he applied pressure but was too drunk to do it on her own.

She whimpered. "That hurts." She said against his jaw and neck, her breath ghosting against his skin. _Lord Ahm a monstah,_ he thought as a ripple of heat flashed through his mind at the sensation. He hadn't been so close to someone in so long and he could very clearly remember the taste of her lips…

"Ahm sure it does." He told her instead, looking at the ceramic shard that was half imbedded in her palm. It was about the size of a playing card except thicker. Blood was everywhere. "Ahm sorry Darlin'." He told her gently before quickly grabbing and pulling free the shard.

Liv pressed herself closer, if possible, in a vain attempt to his chest to get away from the pain. She jerked her hand to her chest but he held her wrist firmly. Quickly, to prevent even more bleeding, he used the regenerator to kint the skin back together. "Owowowowowowowowowowow." Liv cried softly, turning her face and her torso so she could press her nose along the tender place where his neck met shoulder. His breath hitched into her hair as her lips brushed his sensitive skin repeatedly.

_Lord, _he prayed, _let 'er nawt remembah this. Ah'll nevah get 'er ta relax again._ Still though… it made his stomach clench with hunger. _This is so inappropriate._ He scolded himself. Still though he brushed his fingers across the new, pink, tender skin of her hand.

Liv could feel the slightly callused finger pads run across her healed hand. _That feels really good…_ She thought absently as she relaxed into Len's warm, solid chest. _He's so warm and strong. Why didn't I notice he was so strong?_ She wondered, pressing closer to his chest. She inhaled. _Ohhh, he smells yummie. Does he taste yummie?_ She wanted to find out but she wasn't sure if he'd be okay with that. In fact she wasn't sure why she was so okay with being so close to him.

_It's the Snapps._ She told herself, inhaling deeply again. He smelled slightly like a bar and like Jim. But under that… under that he smelled like 'sunlight on a meadow' and 'spring thunder storms' with a dash of 'forest after night has begun to fall'. Or at least that's what her addled brain said he smelled like because whatever he DID smell like it ignited emotions that those smells ignited- 'relaxation', 'excitement' and 'anticipation' respectively.

"Let's get yeh ta bed." He drawled at her, standing and lifting her up in his arms. Liv giggled slightly as he set her on her bed. "Lay down, I'll get the mess."

"M'Not tired." Liv muttered petulantly as she sat on her bed, watching Leonard clean up the shards of the frame.

"What did Ah say abawt liein'?" He asked, throwing her new blanket at her. So either because of how drunk she was or because she was learning to trust him, she wasn't sure which, Liv let Len tuck her into bed and drifted off even as he looked on.

Only when she would wake the next morning would she notice the new black and dark brown leather necklace that had found it's way around her throat that matched her bracelet.

AN: So? Good? Bad? Worth the wait? I hope so because it took a LOT of effort on my part because I actually re-wrote like half of it today 'cause I read what I had and hated where I'd taken it. So, the new and improved ch 17!

Be on the look out for ch 18 my Doves because EXAMS ARE OVER! WOOT! HELLO CHRISTMAS BREAK! Unfortunatly my least favorite family member is visiting in a few days for almost all break. Bad for me because I'll be miserable and just might have to kill her (and thus hide the body). Good for you because guess what my one escape will be? WRITING!

And who, REVIEW = PREVIEW! Love you all.

Ciao!


	18. Wake Me Up Inside

AN: So I had fantastic reviews for Ch 17 and I just wanted to say thanks again! I got told it was my best chapter yet and I sure hope so cause I loved writing it! Now this chapter begins the next bit of action BUT first a little more fluff. As much as I adore the idea I'm about to use I can't claim it as my own, Miller330, who has been following me since the summer, offered me this plot bunny and I couldn't resist. Thanks Kay Bee!

2259 – March 15th 0255 Hours

Liv woke with a gasp, her heart pounding, terror flooding her veins. For a moment she just lay stock still, trying to be as silent as possible lest Frank or Sam hear she had woken… The sound just outside her door faded, the footsteps moving further and further away. Slowly her panic subsided and Liv remembered where she was, on the _Enterprise_, and that she was safe, her doors were locked with Jim's codes again, no one would be bothering her as she slept.

Yet still the nightmares plagued her, haunted her dreams each and every time she heard movement in the hall. It wasn't surprising, given that she'd had such a rough birthday and it hadn't been more than ten days since her breakdown. But all she wanted was to SLEEP.

With an annoyed huff, glaring at the door and the idiots moving behind it- repair teams to fix damage done in a minor scuffle with Klingons- Liv curled up to go back to sleep. The darkness over took her almost immediately, but with it came the dreams…

_A solid, bare chest was pressed along her cami-clad back as hot breath ghosted over her shoulder, neck and jaw as Liv woke slowly. She smiled to herself and snuggled closer into the warm arms that held her protectively. She felt safe… she felt warm… she felt like she was floating._

"_Mornin'" drawled the man who lay with her, his voice deep and rough with sleep. Warm, dry lips pressed to her shoulder in greeting._

"_Good Morning." She murmured back, turning in the arms that surrounded her to snuggle closer still, wrapping her arms around a lean, muscular waist. She pressed a kiss to a stubble-covered chin._

_All of a sudden the weirdness of the situation hit Liv and she blinked, shocked, feeling herself tensing up. Why was she curled up with a man? A mostly naked man? A mostly naked man in her bed…_

_The deep voice chuckled and hands carefully massaged her back, using just the right amount of pressure. "Ahways surprises meh," he murmured as she arched into his hands on reflex. God it felt so GOOD. "How much yeh really love ta be touched."_

_And did she. Her panic at the oddness of the situation and the strangeness of the man faded as those hands, slightly callused and so very warm, did wonderful things to her back. She whimpered when the hands stopped but the panic didn't return as one of the hands slid up her back to tangle with her short hair._

_The mouth that covered hers was warm, dry, and so nice. And the kiss was long, slow, and languid- loving if she was much of a judge. Finally the man pulled away from her and she opened her eyes to stare up into his slightly smirking face. Big green-grey eyes looked down at her. "Love yeh Liv."_

"_Len?" She whispered._

0600 Hours

The alarm's shrill beep woke Liv with a jolt and pulled her from her dream so suddenly that she had to check that she was, indeed, alone in her own bed.

"Shit." She muttered, torn between relief and disappointment. While she could have claimed that she'd never had a naughty dream before (and kissing a man was hardly a naughty dream) her birthday they'd become almost a nightly occurrence for Liv, disturbing her almost more than her own damned nightmares.

The night of her birthday was a little fuzzy to Liv but she remembered enough to be a little embarrassed and to fuel her dreams. Len smelled wonderful, he was surprisingly strong and built under his uniform, and he was gentle. And… and he was a friend. With a dark little mutter Liv stood up and wandered to the coffee maker. "Computer," she snapped, "turn the damn alarm off."

_How do I stop these blasted dreams? _Liv asked herself as she left the coffee to brew and wandered to her shower. _You only dream when you get enough sleep… can I deprive myself of sleep until those idiots finish their job?_ It just might work… in fact she could force herself to stay up by taking extra shifts… Liv smiled. _That could just work._

1225 Hours

Len looked down at the schedule as he finished off his lunch. _Why is Liv workin' two shif's for the next four days?_ He wondered, his hand itching to correct what had to be a mistake. He pulled up who'd made the changes and hesitated when he realized it had been Liv. He frowned but didn't change it. She'd run herself ragged but it just wasn't his place. And it wasn't like she made a habit of it…

As if on cue Liv walked into his office, holding her personal comm. Oh… yea. Joanna was about to call. He lifted the schedule and gave her a firm look. "Feel lahke explan'in tam eh why yer workin' four 18 hour days?"

He watched her lips purse slightly, as if wondering if she could explain without getting too personal- she still tended to shy away from the topic of her childhood and her sleeping habits. Finally she just shrugged and met his eyes, her hands shoved aimlessly, relaxedly, into her pockets. "Can't sleep well. Those idiots mucking about outside my door are keeping me up. I figure if I go to bed totally exhausted for a few days maybe I'll get more sleep than I'm getting right now."

Leonard might have argued or prescribed her a mild sedative but the comm. in her hand buzzed and his attention shifted focus almost immediately. _Mah Baby girl._ He thought with a slight smile as Liv opened up the comm. to show Joanna's smiling face.

"Hi Daddy! Hi Ivie!" She chirped.

2259 – March 18th 2145 Hours

Liv scrubbed at her eyes, trying to force away the exhaustion. _Maybe this was a bad idea._ She thought to herself as she tried to sit a little straighter in her chair. _I'm so damned tired._ And she'd still been having the dreams. All night, every night, she dreamed, no matter how hard she'd worked or for how many hours. And each morning she woke to her alarm forcing her from a REALLY nice dream focusing on Len, herself, semi-nudity to full nudity, and a bed.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to sit on the exam table/bed while cleaning the instruments. She bit back a yawn. But she was almost done so she could finally go to bed in a few hours to a nice, silent deck and a, hopefully, peaceful night of sleep.

2300 Hours

Jim hated the Star Fleet elite. The son's of bitches just HAD to call him from Earth with an important message in the MIDDLE of the FUCKING night. At least he wasn't the only Alpha shift personnel still awake. Nyota had offered to monitor the channel and Bones had reports to finish.

Spock might have been there, he'd even offered, but Chris had interjected before Jim could tell his First no. He hadn't heard anything, she'd touched Spock's arm and just smiled, but Jim had caught the very slight widening of Spock's eyes and the even more slight green tinge to his friend's tipped ears. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not…

"Jim," Nyota murmured, "The call is coming in for you. Should I transfer it to your Ready Room?"

"That would be great Ny." He told her with a slight grin. As he stood, forcing himself from his Captain's chair to the privacy of his Ready Room, his world tipped sideways and panic flooded him.

He steadied himself before Ny could reach his side but he couldn't help but be thankful for the sentiment behind the action. "I'm fine." He assured her worried dark brown eyes. "It's Liv." Ny nodded- she understood his bond to Liv as much as she could he figured. "Call Bones. Have him find her. Now."

He headed to his Ready room, forcing away a wash of guilt. He wanted to find and comfort Liv but he just… he just couldn't. _STUPID Captain responsibilities._ Jim thought angrily.

Len muttered darkly and headed straight for the Sick Bay. He knew Liv had been working too many hours, he just KNEW it. His gut had said to tell her no but he had wanted to be more of a friend than a boss… Damnit! Where was the girl?

Bursting into the Main Medical Bay he glared at the Gamma shift doctor, Dr. Harkness. "Where is mah P.A.?" He all but snarled.

The man looked flustered and started to stutter. "Well…. I… I dunno. She… Is she working tonight?"

Leonard felt a flash of anger. "Did you not check the schedule to see who you were working with tonight Doctor?" He snarled in question, bearing down on the younger man with his most frightening glare.

"I… Um. No sir." Harkness finally squeaked out.

Leonard fought another flash of rage. Damn it! The man was useless! "What have you done since coming on duty an hour ago?" He snapped.

"I… I… I closed d...d...down the other Medical bays." He stuttered.

Leonard snatched up the report left by Dr. Jameson the Beta Shift physician, and looked it over. Immediately he saw that Liv was supposed to finish up in less than an hour and that she'd been cleaning Medical Bay Five.

"You closed down Bay Five?" He asked with a growl. The BOY nodded. Leonard threw the report at him and stormed away. "Read the fucking report you idiot!" He yelled as he left. "And I'll deal with you and your lack of skill tomorrow!" He promised. Oh ho, he as going to ENJOY 'educating' the idiotic, pathetic excuse for a Doctor.

Medical Bay five consisted of ten smaller exam rooms, all of which had been closed down- locked for the night. So it took him a little while. Punching in his code for the fourth door Leonard heard the soft sound of a whimper and then a soft thump. Spinning on his heel he headed toward the other side of the Bay. He heard the whimper again, louder. His eyes narrowed on exam room eight.

Quick as his finger could punch in the code, Leonard was in the room, scanning the darkness for Liv. He found her almost immediately; her small frame lay sprawled along the exam table. Tremors shook her small frame, almost as though she were reacting to blows from an attacker he couldn't see. Each tremor was accompanied by a whimper or a soft cry. _Lord,_ he thought, horrified, _Mah poor Liv. What monsters wait for yeh in yer dreams?_

Leonard gently shook Liv, being sure to have a good enough hold on her he could catch her should she try to topple off the exam table. "NO!" Liv yelled the instant his hands closed around her arms. "No! Please!" She began to fight and though her eyes were closed she began to cry and acted as though she were awake.

"LIV!" Len snapped, shaking her gently. "Goddammit girl wake up."

"Please!" She begged. "Please don't hurt me Sam." Her words became less slurred, her struggles more powerful and purposeful. She was waking up, still caught in the throws of her terrifying dream.

"Livie!" He insisted, shaking her again, "Livie it's Len!"

"Not the cage Sam." She begged him, her eyes slowly opening to the darkened room around them. "Please not the cage again. I'll be good. I swear." She began to sob, her struggled weakening. He loosened one of his hands to brush the hair from her face. He didn't get the chance. The moment an arm was free Liv punched him right in the jaw. There wasn't much space between then for her to get a good swing in but still it HURT.

Liv tumbled off her bed, which was weirdly high and uncomfortable, into the floor ad she scurried to a corner, grabbing a bed pan. _Why is there a bed pan in my bedroom? _The logical portion of her brain asked as the terror drove her to brandish it like a weapon. "Don't touch me Sam. Not ever again."

"Damnit Woman!" The man who she assumed was Sam snapped. His voice was a rich Southern Drawl, warm and familiar. _Why does Sam have a drawl that makes me want to melt?_ Her logical half asked, this time making more of an impression. "Jim tol' meh ta find yeh!"

_Jimmy wouldn't tell Sam anything._ The logical half commented. _If this is a bed pan in my hands… and this 'Sam' has a Southern Drawl… and is on good terms with Jim…_ "Len!" Liv gasped, trworing aside the bedpan and leaping over the exam table to curl against her friend's broad chest, sobbing. "Len! Please don't let him hurt me." She whispered, begging. "Please don't let him take me away." She begged, still caught in the sway of her nightmare, unable to force the memory away, back into the dark where she hid it.

Liv sobbed in his arms, curled against his chest as best she could while still standing on her own two feet. Slowly Len wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly. He felt incredibly awkward and at the same time incredibly angry. Sam, whoever he was, had done Liv so much harm and scared her so terribly. But Len hardly knew how to comfort a woman.

Like all Southern men he hated tears and he just… didn't know how to FIX them. So he held Liv as she sobbed, let her tears soak though the collar of his shirt, and gently rubbed her back. "Shhh." He murmured into her hair. "I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

His brain screeched to a halt almost the second after the words left his mouth. He didn't mean them like he meant them to Jim or to Chris. They weren't words to a friend or words to comfort a distraught child. He meant them. In the strictest, deepest sense. He wanted to keep the monsters in her head at bay. He wanted to teach her that men could be trusted, that they could be loved and love in return.

_Aw Fuck._ He thought. _Ah tink Ahm fallen for mah PA._ And there wasn't a damn thing he could, or would, do about it. He WANTED, with every fiber of his being, to be the one to wake Liv from every nightmare, to protect her from her own demons… And he'd do just about anything to get her.

2259 – March 19th 0700 Hours

Liv stood in the doorway to Sickbay for a long moment, seriously considering her options. She could run away, but she wouldn't get far. She could go in and shy away from Len and be all awkward, but that would just suck. Or she could go in and act as if nothing happened, but she doubted Len would allow that. Was there a fourth option she just wasn't seeing?

"Mornin' Liv." Len said gently as he passed her, holding a mug of coffee in one hand and a PADD in another. "Sleep alraght?" He asked.

Liv felt a little ripple of shock and nervousness, but not fear. Len wasn't a man she was afraid of anymore. _Huh,_ she thought, _when did that happen?_

"Yea, after I got to bed." He'd carried her to bed and tucked her in, muttering about working herself to death and needing sedatives. "Thanks." Without thinking she followed him into the Main Medical Bay.

"Yeh just let meh know if those naghtmares 're getting' bad." He told her softly but firmly. "Ah can and will prescribe ah sedative if yeh need it."

It was weird, talking openly about her nightmares. But Liv wasn't as nervous about it as she thought she might be. "Sure." As long as he didn't ask what they were about she thought she'd be fine. "Thanks Len." He just nodded and wandered into his office and Liv had to fight a little smile. The decision had been made, it seemed, without her conscious effort and there WAS a fourth option.

Jim bounded into the Bay with a big grin. "LIV! Guess what!"

Liv had to grin at her twin as he all but bounced on the balls of his feet he was so excited. "What Jimmy?" She asked.

"The Admirals think we should try a bunch of diplomatic missions." Liv lifted a single brow at her twin. He HATED diplomatic missions. "It's a string of planets really close to Klingon space. We might get to kick some more Klingon ass!" Liv laughed.

_Trust Jimmy to see violence in the prospect of diplomatic missions…_ She thought with a grin. _But he IS a walking Diplomatic DISASTER so half of these might end in violence anyway._ "Sounds like fun Jimmy." Liv teased.

2259 – April 14th 0900 Hours

Liv was officially sick to death of Diplomatic missions. If she had to put on her dress Reds once more she was going to go insane and kill someone. Ten missions in twenty-six days… Ten FUCKING missions! And why, WHY did she and Len always draw the short straw? Why did they have to go to EVERY single ONE of the stupid, extravagant dinners with nothing but political do-se-doing as entertainment?

"Ahm sorry Liv." Len muttered, walking into his office where she sat perched on his desk. "Looks lahke Ah drew the short straw… again."

"You suck butt, I hope you know that." She told him childishly. "When I go insane and kill someone I'm going to frame you. And then I shall become CMO and laugh as I MAKE those idiots go instead of being nice and drawing fucking STRAWS!"

Len snorted. "Yeh can't be CMO girl." He told her, falling into his chair to pack his away kit. "Yer nawt a Doctor."

Liv snorted and made a face. "I'm more qualified than those idiots who we call Doctors that work under you." She told him without an ounce of pride. It was just plain FACT that those two were all but useless.

"Dr. Jameson 'taint that bad." Len muttered at her, not looking up.

Liv fought a smile at the gruff annoyance in his voice. For a moment she wanted to kiss him. _WOAH there!_ She told herself forcefully. _He's the boss and a friend. So not going to happen._ Her once non-existent, suddenly in over-drive libido was becoming a bit of a problem for Liv. "He's a lazy fuck." Liv quipped, ignoring her own wants. "He might be okay if he didn't have such a talented CMO to pick up all the slack. But you do half of his paperwork."

"Ah do nawt." Len said, looking up at her. "He does it…" Liv fixed him with a look that she'd learned from Spock. Len shifted slightly, getting mildly uncomfortable under the weight of her bland stare. "Ah jus' fix it." He admitted. Liv rolled her eyes. "Ah gotta stop yeh from spendin' tahme wif the Hobgoblin." Len muttered, shaking his head. "Yer learnin bad 'abits."

"Stop being such an infant." Liv quipped teasingly, ignoring the glare that seven months ago would have sent her running for the hills. Len didn't mean the heat in his gaze. "I'll go get ready." She muttered, sliding off his desk. "But I'm serious about the framing you for murder thing." She added as she wandered from the room.

AN: So I feel like this is short but compared to my usual it's actually not. So here's part one of our next bit. What trouble can Jim get himself into this time? ;) Stay tuned to find out!

Also if anyone can help me think of a good alien species for this to be a mission to I'd really appreciate it. I'm less than skilled with alien species, except Vulcans. I know more about Vulcans than I EVER wanted to. Just don't ask, okay, okay?

So, review = PREVIEW! Ciao my loves!


	19. Fancy Dress Jus' Aint Mah Thing

AN: I'm BACK! Heehee, I'm on such a roll. Aren't you guys glad classes are over for the semester? I am! I'm so excited for all the writing I'm going to do this break. I'm wondering how much I'll actually get done… Anywho, on with the Diplomatic Mission! What could possibly go wrong… ;)

2259 – April 14th 1900 Hours

Liv shifted in her Dress clothes uncomfortably. She suddenly wished she wore her uniform. At least in it she looked like a part of something, with the protection the Star Fleet insignia afforded. She glanced down at herself and frowned slightly, twitching the skirt to sit properly.

Dinner and the reception was in about half an hour and most of the others were still getting ready but Liv had a fairly simple job of it given her hair was so damned short and her closet was a little limited in dressy civvies.

"Yeh look lahke someone jus' shot yer dawg." Leonard drawled from beside and behind her.

"I'm uncomfortable." Liv admitted to her friend. _I like using that word to describe him._ Liv thought to herself with a tiny smile. "I feel like a bloody Barbie doll."

"Yeh look wonderful, Liv." Len murmured, stepping up beside her to look over the balcony and into the night. "Trust meh."

Liv finally tore her eyes from the beautiful rolling plains that surrounded the palace and looked her dark, tall companion over.

Her breath caught in her throat. _Mary Mother of God._ Liv thought, fighting to keep her jaw attached. Leonard glanced down at her with a soft smile, his darkened green-grey eyes glittering in the scant light. He was clean shaven, his hair neat, and dressed in civvies also. The black suit pants fit him just right and the white button down pulled just so across his chest and bulged very slightly around his biceps. Draped over one arm he held a black suit jacket and dark green tie.

"You clean up pretty good Cowboy." Liv teased, noticing the cowboy boots that hid under the suit pants. "All you need is the hat."

Len blushed slightly but offered her a tiny smile. "Thank yeh. And Ah got one. Jim tol' meh ta leave it onboard."

"Put the jacket and tie on." Liv murmured. Len did as she asked, slipping the prettied tie over his head, mindful of his hair, and tightening it before slipping on the jacket. Liv's mouth watered but she frowned slightly. "No… you look too polished." She murmured. "Can I?" She asked, lifting her hands, her heart pounded in her chest faster than a humming bird's.

"Ah dunno…" Len drawled, smirking. Liv pouted slightly but Len nodded. Liv reached up and mussed Len's hair quickly before he could stop her. "Damnit Liv!" He snapped, swiping her hands aside. "Ah took ages getting' it ta lay flat."

"You look too stern." Liv interjected, fighting a laugh at his slightly girlish reaction. "Trust me, please, Len."

Len watched her lips, which she stained a slightly darker than natural dusky rose color, purse into a fine line. "Fahne." He muttered, unable to say no to her when she put it like that. Especially when she looked like she did.

Dropping his head he let her muss his hair (it had taken ages to get flat too), he looked her over more thoroughly. The pale blue blouse was low cut, exposing her ample chest, the black skirt fluttered just below her knees, exposing her pale calves, and the black heels she wore put her a few inches taller. The leather necklace he'd made her sat in the hallow of her throat even though it didn't seem to fit the outfit.

She stepped back and looked him over so he glanced up. "Bettah?" He asked her, slightly teasingly, trying to hide the slight embarrassment he felt at her fixing his appearance and his appreciation for what she wore. Damn she looked good.

"Much." She answered back in a similar voice, twisting to look back at the scenery. Her hair caught in the scant light and he saw a flash of gold.

"What in the name o' Heaven?" He asked, looking closer at her hair.

"Mhmm?" She asked, not looking up.

"Yer hair." He prompted, fighting the urge to reach out and run his fingers through the short strands as they glittered.

Liv laughed. "I tried something new." She glanced up at him. "I dyed the ends a bright sparkling gold-ish color. It's sort of fun." She blushed under his gaze but didn't shy away from him. _Is mah filly finally learnin' ta trust?_ He wondered.

"Liv! Bones!" Chris exclaimed, rushing over and hugging them both. "You both look so great!" Len wasn't sure f he was pleased or annoyed at his shorter friend. "Bones you look awesome! Very ruggedly polished if that makes any sense." Which it didn't, not to Len. "And Liv! You look stunning! I love the color of your top. Pity you didn't have a short sleeved or tank in a similar color, it's warm by human standards."

Leonard fought a slight frown at the pursing of Liv's lips and the embarrassment in her eyes. He saw Chris' expression shift as she realized she'd said the wrong thing but before Chris could attempt to make it right he interjected.

"Ah think Liv looks great." Len murmured, "The raght amount ah skin showin'."

Liv blushed in the darkness, the rapid expansion of the color across her pale cheeks made him grin. _Ah lahke makin 'er blush._

"He's right, you look classy but sexy." Chris chirped as she leaned backward against the railing, looking at their faces. He saw the curiosity in her eyes and shook his head minutely. He adored Chris but Liv's issues were none of his empathic friend's business.

"Well she IS a Kirk after all." Jim laughed from behind Len. "We have impeccable style sense."

"Which is why I had to pick out your shirt and tie." Uhura murmured as she joined them, arm in arm with Jim. Len nodded to them, briefly pulling his eyes from Liv's small but relaxed smile. _Mah filly IS learnin' ta trust…_

2300 Hours

Liv was officially sick of the mission and ready for bed. _Diplomacy be damned._ She thought viciously as she enviously eyed the chair she wasn't supposed to sit in. _What's with the all night Dance-and-Talk-athon anyway?!_ They'd had a break for dinner about an hour after they'd arrived but since then it had been nothing but social and literal do-se-doing.

A gentle hand settled on Liv's shoulder and she couldn't help but jump slightly, turning to half-glare at the offender. Immediately she schooled her face into a mask of polite interest. _Mustn't piss off the High Prince._ She reminded herself with a sweet smile. "Highness, what can I do for you?" She asked sweetly.

"Walk with me in the Gardens." Answered the tall and broad alien. "My Father will not be offended I assure you." His voice was a little difficult to understand, given that his vocal cords were not the same as human ones.

His offer seemed genuine, he looked almost bored, and Liv would probably prefer to wander the gardens… But she was loath to go with this alien man without another of her crew. _Maybe I could just tell someone I'm wandering away with this guy… Safe but not offensive… Now how to tell someone without offending my host…_

Liv forced herself to smile and nodded. "I would be delighted, Highness. Allow me to inform Leonard where I'm going so he doesn't worry if he realizes I'm not here." She motioned to where Len stood, looking delicious enough to make Liv want to drool, talking adamantly to the local Medic. "He's helpless without me, it's rather amusing, but we should let him know he'll be on his own for a bit."

The alien bowed his regal head in a nod and Liv scurried off, attempting to look relaxed and poised. When she reached Len and the Medic they both turned to look at her without prompting, which struck Liv as a little odd but she brushed it off.

"This is my Assistant, Livine Kirk." Len said to his companion, settling his hand on the small of her back as if to guide her safely into the conversation. "Livine this is our local counterpart, M'Tal'k."

Liv smiled and nodded her head. "Pleasure and hopefully I'll have a chance to pick your brain as my boss is doing before we leave. But I must borrow Len for just a moment, if you don't mind."

"Please, go ahead." M'Tal'k murmured in a gravelly voice.

Liv tugged Len back a few steps and stepped close so as to murmur to him. "I've been invited to go walk in the Gardens with the Prince." She said swiftly. "He seems to not want company but I told him you'd panic if you didn't see me around."

Len did NOT like Liv wandering off alone and was surprised she would agree to being alone with an unknown man, even if she was telling him… Why would she tell HIM? Wouldn't Jim be better for protection by proxy? His mind ran in circles for a moment before it hit him. _She's usen meh as 'er man, Lahke a good Southern gal woul' check wi'h 'er man afore wanderin' off with another man… Best play along then._ He thought almost happily.

He shifted to place his hand on her waist again, pulling her closer and dropping his head so their discussion looked more intimate. As her breath caressed his throat (she was so short) he realized it might feel intimate too. _Oh well._ "Yeh come back quickly, yeh hear meh?" He told her in a low voice so it wouldn't carry far. "Ah mahght find mah-self getting' jealous."

Liv's smile was so bright Len wondered if she outshone the sun. "You're great Len." She answered in the same voice he'd used, "How you doing?" She asked quickly.

Len let himself grimace as he'd wanted to do all night. "Ah'm a Doctor, not a God damned politician." She laughed softly as she slid from his hold and returned to the waiting Prince. He schooled his face back into a mask of polite mild interest. It was harder to do than before. He really did feel a stab of jealousy that Liv would be wandering the gardens. Both of the relaxed atmosphere the gardens would offer and the fact someone else was with her.

"She is your woman?" Asked M'Tal'k as the alien wandered back.

"Not yet." Len answered honestly, his eyes following her as she left. "Hopefully Ah'll change that one day soon."

M'Tal'k's ears shifted back and his whiskers flattened some in a very feline expression of confusion. "Yet she came to you for permission."

Len shook his head. "Naw, nawght permission. She does as she wants when she wants, s'why Ah want 'er." He admitted to the alien. "She let meh know, so ah didn't get jealous she left with another man. Also Ah'm 'er boss."

Liv fought the oddly strong impulse to tap her fingers along her thigh. It was an old nervous habit, one she'd dealt with a lot before she'd come to the _Enterprise_, one that she thought she'd finally rid herself of. Apparently, however, she hadn't. But it would have been rude so she forced her hands to relax, hanging partially open, as she eyed the gardens and her escort.

The High Prince was about as handsome as any of their hosts could possibly be, but it wasn't in a classical, or even human, sense. He towered over her 5'4" by a good foot and a half, pushing seven feet by her guess. And he was densely muscled, practically ripped. Those features would have made him handsome were he human, especially his big golden eyes. It was just everything ELSE that made him feel so totally threatening to her.

His skin she couldn't see but she imagined that could she look under his very short, orange and black striped fur it would have been very dark- just like the palms of his weird hands/paws. He had articulated human-ish hands but they were tipped with deadly looking claws. And his face… his face would also have been handsome, were it fully human. He was perfectly symmetrical, with a strong jaw like Len had but his nose was a bit too broad and his cheeks slightly to flaring and while he had no fur on his face (his skin was pigmented with the markings of a Terran tiger) the whiskers that protruded from his cheeks twitched with every facial movement.

"What do you think?" He asked, motioning with his hand at the beautiful, if small, gardens that surrounded the castle, separating the plains from the grounds.

"It's particularly lovely." Liv answered. "Much more soothing than the Great Hall." She admitted.

The Prince's face twisted into a feline grin; his lips quirked slightly, his big, orange feline ears shifted forward on his head, protruding from his black curls, and his eyes seemed to glitter. "Indeed. This is soothing, the quiet, the setting… the company." His tail flicked side to side slightly, making his decorative, ornate 'kilt' like garment shift. It was a feline teasing or flirtatious action.

Without realizing it Liv's fingers began tapping out a rhythm on her left thigh. "The company is quite pleasing." She admitted mildly, hoping he did not take the polite statement as a response to his flirtations.

His grin widened, making Liv want to shift in discomfort. "Tell me what you are thinking." He entreated after a long moment.

"That my twin would love this garden- even if he didn't admit it." Liv answered quickly. It hadn't been what she'd been thinking but it was true enough. Jim _would_ like the garden. They liked growing things as a rule- they'd hidden in them from Frank as kids. To both of them green meant safe. _...Maybe that's why I like Len's eyes…_ Liv mused, remembering how green the grey-green orbs had looked when he grinned earlier, looking her over.

Liv examined a beautiful flower as the Prince responded, missing the look of shock on his feline features, but she caught the slightly curious tone to his voice. "Twin? Does the word mean what I think it does?" He asked in his deep, gravely voice.

"A sibling who was conceived and born at the same time." Liv answered with a slight over-simplification.

"Indeed." The Prince mused from behind her.

"Jim, the Captain of our ship," Liv murmured, gently trailing her fingers over the silken texture of the dark, amazing blue petals of the flower, "He's my twin, though we don't look it as much since we hit puberty. He grew upward and started gaining muscle while I grew curves."

"This is common for your species?" The Prince asked.

Liv noted the slightly strained tone to his voice and turned to glance at him, her eyes focusing on his face- which was curiously blank. "Sure, sometimes." She answered simply. "I don't remember the statistics for it but it's not way high but it's not uncommon. Does your species not have the multiples rate most big cats do?"

The Prince shook his head, his longish curls bobbing. "Indeed not. It is considered highly rare and desirous but should a female have more than one often the smaller does not survive or is born still."

_How sad._ Liv thought, picturing the poor mother who would think she was going to be special only to find she had lost one of her babies.

"Your species is vastly different from my own." The Prince continued, looking down at her with unreadable golden eyes. "Is it unacceptable for two males or two females to be mates? Or to take multiple mates?"

Liv shrugged. "I'm not the anthropologist." She admitted with a slight grin. "That's Chris, the other blonde, the one with the long hair. She'd have better numbers if you wanted them but as a rule it's yes to both questions." She shrugged. "Men may be with men and women with women and it's socially acceptable and rather normative. Poly-amorous relationships aren't recognized by our government but they're not unheard of."

"Interesting, then perhaps we are not so different after all." The Prince murmured. "I wish to speak to this Chris, would you introduce me?" He asked.

"Not a problem." Liv murmured with a slight smile but in her head she was twisting as her fingers drummed a rapid rhythm. _I think we ARE that different after all._ Liv thought, noticing the Prince's tail twitch side to side as he walked just ahead of her, leading the way in the deeper darkness of some areas- his eyes catching and magnifying the light as hers could not. _But maybe I'm just hung up on the physical differences…_

AN: I am so SORRY! I promised this days and days ago and I failed you guys. But in my defense the 24th (when I'd planned on finishing this) was hell, and the 25th (when I was gonna post, was too bust to write). But I'm back from my little vacation and I'm better than ever. I hope you guys enjoyed this! Remember, Review = PREVIEW!!!


	20. But I'm Worth it Right?

AN: You ever need a vacation from your vacation? I do. We went snowboarding. Some jerk-off skier clipped me and sent me flying. I have a concussion and the smog is awful so now I've got a hacking cough. Nasty right? Right. Anywho, on with the story…

2259 – April 14th 2329 Hours

Len could not find words to express how relieved he was when Liv walked purposefully back into the Entertainment hall, the Prince at her side. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, her bleed-me-blue meeting his grey-green, and she shot him a small smile. She hadn't even needed to search the hall for him, she'd seemingly known where he stood, even though he'd moved.

"It appears as if your work is already half done." M'Tal'K muttered to Len.

Len shifted slightly, blushing a little. "Naw." He drawled, trying not to let himself infer too much from the little action. As he watched Liv led the Prince to Chris and introduced them. _Girl plays diplomat well._ He thought to himself before he caught the slight droop to her shoulders. _Or she fakes it real well._

Liv sighed as she stood, nodding and smiling to the Prince and Chris though her mind was far and away. Her heels were blessedly comfortable but after four hours on her feet she was more than ready to burn them. Her ears caught a familiar lilting laugh, just like her own but deeper, and her head snapped around to find Jim.

He stood beside Nyota, his arm around her waist, his hand splayed possessively over her hip. Liv felt a little flash of jealousy toward Nyota. Not over Jim's attention, she was secure enough in her relationship with Jim to know he loved her no matter what. No, she was jealous of the casual but loving possessiveness Jim showed. Liv wanted someone to feel that way for her…

And she'd kill to look like Ny. The woman was amazingly beautiful, wearing her Halloween dress with her long hair half pulled into a bun to look both sleek and sexy. Her chocolate colored skin contrasted strikingly with the white dress and the shining necklace and gem Jim had bought her for Christmas that sat in the hallow of her throat.

"The man there is your twin?" The High Prince asked, clearly having followed her eyes.

Liv nodded absently before realizing Chris had left her alone, once more, with the Prince. _Damn._ "Yes, that's Jim, our Captain, my twin."

"You look very similar." The Prince mused. "Both very striking. Beautiful for your species."

Liv blushed at the compliment, ignoring the weirdness of it. "We're identical twins so yeah, we do look alike." They were oddly the same, no matter the subtle differences between them. Their eyes were the same blue ('Bleed-me-blue' as Len had said) but his smiled more, hers were more guarded. Their hair was almost the same color, save for her glitter modification, and their facial features were almost exactly the same, hers just a little less masculine.

"Jim's incredibly attractive but me less so, our features are too masculine so I look very boyish." She finished her though privately, _except for my tits, at least I've got great tits._

"I would disagree." The Prince murmured before nodding toward Len. "Your Medical Officer seems to desire your presence. I shall introduce myself to your brother." His large, clawed hand curled around hers and he lifted it to his cheek where he rubbed his face against it, a particularly weird, but slightly feline, movement. "I shall see you once more." He promised her.

Liv nodded, fighting back the urge to jerk her hand back and blush, she felt her cheeks warm none-the-less. "I look forward to it." She only slightly lied. Quickly as she thought appropriate she scampered to Len's side of the Hall.

"Liv," Her boss greeted, his drawl warm and blessedly familiar, and so very human. "Enjoy yer walk?"

She forced herself to smile as there were other members of their host court around them. "Indeed, the Prince was very gracious." She caught the dark scowl he shot her at her formal phrasing. "The grounds are real pretty," she admitted, dropping the annoying as hell diplomat speech. "The plants they have growing would be enough to make Sulu die in envy, horticulture is apparently one of their strong suites. And the architecture is amazing.

"But not quite as amazing as the architecture in the Old Deep South, say the mid 1800's." She added, shooting him a little grin, remembering the beautiful Southern Mansion Jocelyn and Joanna lived in that she now knew had originally been his.

"Funny," He answered, grinning very slightly but not looking at her, "Ahm partial ta t'at meh'slf." The very slight laughter in his light growl relaxed knots in her muscles she hadn't even noticed forming. _When did he go from being able to make me nervous by just looking in my direction to soothing my nerves just by laughing?_ She wondered. _And do I care? Is it really a bad thing?_

He sighed very softly and Liv forced her eyes to focus away from his profile and back to the party. She fought a little sigh of her own. "They're beginning to close up shop." She murmured, fighting the urge to drop her head onto his shoulder, curl up and go to sleep.

"Ah'll see 'he firs' group to 'he ship." He drawled, stepping from the table they stood beside with a wry expression on his handsome face.

"Here I thought you hated space and the ship." She teased at his slowly retreating back.

"Ahm dead on mah feet, girl." He growled back at her, shooting her a quick, evaluating glance. "An so are yeh. Tahmorrah yeh sleep in, Ah don' wanna see yeh 'till ten hundred."

Liv rolled her eyes and moved quickly to catch up to him. "Are you going to go to sleep in?" She asked, glancing at him.

"Nawt plannin' awn it." He muttered before fixing her with a firm glare as they reached Jim's side. "But yer doin' as Ah say, fer once."

She would have fought him, just for spite, but the gentle look to his eyes, under the fierceness of his mock rage, cooled her pride. "Yeah, sure." She murmured. "Thanks Len."

She watched him stare at her with a look of surprise for a long moment before he nodded firmly. "Damn straight, girl." He muttered before leaving with the first group.

Jim fought a grin, watching his best friend walk away. Bones was really good to Liv, really good at handling her. You'd never expect that much kindness and thoughtfulness from such a gruff man, for the first time in nearly four years Jim realized why Bones had become a doctor. He simply _was_ a good, kind man who honestly _liked_ looking after people, for all he might bitch about it.

Jim slung his arm around Livie and pulled her close. "You joining me was the best thing either of us has ever done." He told her quietly, watching his crew slowly split into groups for transport.

Livie yawned slightly and leaned into his chest. "How so?" She asked quietly.

"With you here things run smoother, the crew is happier, and I'm learning to see sides of my crewmates and friends I don't think I would ever have seen otherwise." He admitted, more than happy to reveal his flaws to his sister. He grinned. "And then there's the fact having you close makes me happy."

And Jim knew it went both ways at her slow, sweet smile. That reassurance loosened the little knot in his gut that she'd finally out-grown him as he'd always feared she would. She really was the single most important factor in his happiness. Ny meant a lot, so did Bones, and the crew. When he'd had all that but not Livie… He'd been happy, sure, but not complete. Everything was slightly overshadowed by a loneliness no amount of sex and comradery could possibly banish.

"Thinking deep thoughts?" Liv asked, jerking him from his darker musings.

"Never." He joked, tightening his arms around her in a hug. "Just tired." It wasn't a lie, he _was_ tired, exhausted really, and he wanted to get back to Ny and his nice, warm bed…

"We are ready for you." Called the rough voice of the High Lord, the High Prince's father. Jim's head jerked up and toward the inhuman voice. The Lord's dark golden eyes were focused on them with an intensity that made Jim want to squirm. _Dude he's creepy._ Jim thought, but the instant he blinked the look was gone and replaced with one of mild disinterest.

_Odd… did I imagine that?_ Jim wondered. He shook his head slightly at himself, leading Liv toward the Lord. _Jim, old boy,_ He told himself, _you're getting paranoid._

2259 – April 15th 0159 Hours

Len was getting antsy. Livie and Jim had yet to return and the natives were being particularly evasive about their whereabouts. It was possible Jim was at the root of the problem, being an ass to ruffle Len's feathers. But he doubted that Liv would go along with Jim's idiocy.

He wasn't a very instinctual man but with the cold feeling he had washing over his gut, Len was quite sure that Jim and Liv weren't just playing around. Turning on his heel he all but stormed from the Transporter room and toward Spock's quarters. The damned green-blooded hobgoblin was a big pain in the ass but Len was quite sure he was going to need the weight of First Officer on his side to throw around.

Reaching Spock's quarters he buzzed the bell. Moments later the door snapped open to reveal a disheveled Chris glaring at him. "This damned well be as important as you think it is." She told him firmly before slipping away, down the hall, back to her own quarters.

_Ah t'ink Ahm gonna be sick._ He thought vaguely, watching his young friend storm away, clearly annoyed at being interrupted.

"Doctor?" Spock said in the slight variation of his monotone Len had begun to understand was his form of a question. Looking back up at the slightly taller Vulcan he saw the alien's eyebrow lifted high, also in question.

"Jim and Liv haven't returned yet." Len said simply. "The last group came back well over an hour and a half ago. I sent a message and they claim the Captain and Liv are 'still negotiating' with the High Lord."

Spock's brows drew together very slightly and Len was disgusted to realize he was learning to read the stoic Vulcan. "It is possible, though highly improbable as they both are human and require copious amounts of rest." Pock murmured. He nodded. "You were right to call me, Doctor. This is 'not adding up'." Len shot the Vulcan a strange look as they headed together for the bridge.

"You used slang." Len said simply, almost disturbed at the very thought.

"Chris has been endeavoring to teach me to communicate with my peers in a less formal manner." Spock glanced at Len and for a moment Len thought he saw insecurity in the slightly younger man's eyes. "Was I incorrect in the usage?"

_Is 'he Hobgob'in askin' more 'han 'hat?_ Len recalled he flash of emotion. _Lord he's askin' if we're friends._ He could have, and would have only a few months ago, shot the Vulcan down and enjoyed it. Wether it was the exhaustion talking or something else he shook his head slightly and replied. "No, Spock, you used it correctly, and in the right situation." _Dealin' wif Jim an' Liv goin' missin' 's eas'er t'an dealin' wif Spock._ "So, about Jim…" He drawled as they reached the bridge.

"We shall send a message stating we require the Captain for a minor emergency." Spock stated simply.

"That's a lie." Len pointed out, surprised that the Vulcan would consider a lie.

"Indeed it is." Spock said simply. "However I have found, watching Jim, that a small lie could be the best answer to this situation."

Livie groaned as she opened her eyes. Her head throbbed. "God damnit." She muttered, letting her eyes focus. She immediately realized that the lay on a very comfortable bed. _Well it's a major improvement from LAST time this happened,_ she thought wryly. The bed was ornate, as well as comfortable, the frame beautifully carved native wood.

A groan from the bed beside her drew her eyes to Jim. "What are you wearing?" She asked him, rolling onto her side to looked down at him. How he would know she didn't really know but the question just spilled from her mouth, driven by her shock and slight horror.

Livie was comfortable with Jim's body, she knew it as well as she knew her own, but that didn't mean she really liked seeing as much of it as she was. He was wearing a nearly sheer, dark blue silk loincloth and nothing else.

Jim sat up and looked down at himself. He grimaced and then shifted his slowly focusing eyes to her. He snickered. "You're no better yourself."

Livie looked down at herself and yelped as horror and disgust filled her. A sheer, dark blue silk cloth wrapped around her breasts matched a long-ish paneled skirt that hung precariously off her hips. Each and every scar, each pucker, each discoloration on her skin, was visible. She felt nauseous. "Oh God."

She felt herself begin to panic and Chris was no where in sight to help calm her. Warm, familiar hands held her cheeks and blue eyes so familiar she knew every fleck of discoloration in them filled her vision. "Livie, Livie calm down. I need you here with me."

Chris wasn't there to force Livie to stay calm, but did Livie need Chris? _My name is Livine Kirk._ She told herself, forcing herself to take a deep breath. _I'm not Sammie Kirk anymore. I'm not weak or pathetic. I helped get us out of a worse situation before, I can do this._ Slowly, after repeating the thoughts to herself again and again and taking a bunch of forced calm breaths she felt herself calm down.

"I'm good." She whispered to Jim, leaning her cheek into his hand. "Sorry."

"I had no idea you hated your body thank much Livie." Jim muttered, touching her forehead to his. "You shouldn't. You're beautiful."

Liv pulled away from Jim and shook her head slightly. "It wasn't that, not entirely." _It's an ornate cage and I'm dressed like some concubine and someone other than Jim, Blake, myself, or Len saw my body._ She thought not wanting to say the words aloud. "But I wouldn't mind something a little more… covering. And maybe getting the hell outta here."

Jim offered her a wry grin. "I think between the two of us we can manage that." He said jokingly.

"We've done much worse." Liv agreed, looking around. "Hey, door, over there." The ornate room's walls were covered with the sheer silk, tacked to the ceiling and walls to create weird but pretty draping effects. The door was hidden by a sheer curtain, the draping effect of the fabric on the walls obscuring the drape hiding the door.

"This is just annoying." Jim muttered, trying to find an opening in the fabric. He continued to mutter darkly but Liv's gut suddenly turned into a cold weight. Something was very wrong.

"Jimmy." Liv whispered, tapping Jim's naked shoulder. "Jimmy someone's coming." It took a bit of insistence but Jim left the door and joined her back on the bed, on the far side of the room from the door. The door began to open. "I hope you know I blame you." Liv murmured to her twin.

Leonard was officially getting angry, very, very angry. His best friend and his assistant were on some God damned planet with some lying, fucked up aliens and nothing Spock could do was working.

Pacing angrily around Jim's ready room, waiting for Spock to return from yet _another_ vid call to the surface, Len felt himself tense up more and more. Liv was missing… God his Liv was missing. What if she didn't make it back? Could he stand to lose yet another assistant? Could he stand to lose _her?_

_No,_ he thought, _no, Ah can' live wifout her. An' if Ah have to Ah'll hate mehself for letting it go this long without doing sum'hin 'bout how ah feel._ The door opened with a little whoosh and Spock stepped through, his eyes darker than usual.

"There appears to be no diplomatic solution for the current situation." Spock stated blandly.

"No shit Spock," Chris muttered, following him into the room. Her mismatched eyes were bright with fear and anger. "They're lying and there's something way fishy going on. There's a reason it was Jim and Livie, but I don't think it was because of him being Captain."

Leonard took a slow, shuddering breath. "Do yeh think they'll 'urt Liv an Jim?"

Chris shrugged. "No telling for sure but no, I don't think so. Not directly anyway. The Prince was on the line last and he… he was torn, affectionate, guilty, sorrowful, but desirous every time we mentioned Liv. Just torn, guilty, and sorrowful when we mentioned just Jim."

Len's stomach turned to ice and a weight filled his heart. Desirous when thinking about Liv? Lord in heaven what were they planning to do to Liv? Would she survive what they might do to her? Hate flooded up in Len's heart. No one was going to hurt Liv. He'd promised her only a month ago that he'd protect her and there was no way in hell he was going to let her down.

Liv turned her eyes to glare at Jim, unsure if she should hate him for what was happening or not. _No,_ she reminded herself, _Jimmy didn't do this. Jimmy loves me and he does everything he can to protect me. This is the fault of the Prince, he must have told his Father about us being twins._

But of course it wasn't his fault either that his Father was a real ass and apparently really lonely. "Being your Twin has gotten me into so much trouble" She told Jim with a little sigh.

"I dunno what you mean…" Jim said, eyes teasing, his mouth quirked into a mildly playful grin, trying to soothe her fear that was welling up in her.

Liv couldn't help but grin very slightly. "Jim, this is the second time we've been kidnapped since I joined your crew seven months ago." It wasn't really funny, her getting kidnapped AGAIN, but it was Jimmy and Jimmy could make just about anything funny.

"Ah." Jim muttered, his mouth turning into a fine line. "… I see your point." He conceded. "…But I'm worth it, right?"

Livie laughed softly, fighting the tears that welled up in her eyes. "I dunno… He's REALLY ugly and he seems to want to marry us." Which was creepy and disgusting and wrong in just about a hundred different ways.

"Is that worse than being tortured to death?" Jim asked, with a slight grin, wiping her eyes gently and pulling her into his arms, hugging her.

Liv laughed at his flippant tone and snuggled against him. Everything was a little less frightening there, held, safe. But she would have felt better if it had been Len's arms instead of Jimmy's. _So NOT the time._ She reminded herself. "Jimmy… did you even LOOK at the High Lord all evening?"

"Not really… I was busy oogling Nyota." Jim answered flippantly, his lips quirking into a little grin. Liv glared upward slightly at him, narrowing her eyes menacingly. Jim huffed softly. "Yea, you're right, this sucks." Sigh "He's not even my type."

Liv snickered slightly and shrugged, remembering what she knew about her twin. "You never know, he might like to bottom." Se teased.

Jim's eyes widened almost comically. "How the HELL did you know that?" He asked sharply, his voice a little high in surprise.

Calmly Liv just smirked and shrugged. "What, that you swing, so long as you're Top?" She asked blandly.

"YEA!" Jim snapped.

"I'm your twin Jim. I know everything." She assured him in a calm, sensible voice, thoroughly enjoying the surprise she'd elicited in him.

"Everything?" He asked in a soft, strangled voice.

"Everything." She assured him confidently.

"Damn." He sighed, dropping his head back against the wall.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She assured him, patting his arm. She'd never tell his secrets he was her twin after all, her best friend in the world.

He sighed softly and hugged her tighter. "The thought never crossed my mind, Livie." He assured her warmly. "I just like the idea of having SOME secrets from you." He shrugged slightly. "But I suppose it shouldn't much surprise me, seeing as you have no secrets from me either, right?"

AN: Okay, I'm a butt for not finishing this sooner. Beginning of semester and all plus Spring rush week. It's been buy as heck. But I'm back, I hope, barring any unseen circumstances. Hope you enjoyed this!

Oh, and please don't tweek over me making Jim bi. I figure that in a world 200+ years more advanced than our own they'd of gotten over the whole queasiness of homosexual tendencies bit. Also Jim prefers women, by a lot, at least in my story. Don't worry, there will be no Jim/ any male character. I don't have an issue w/ that but my Jim prefers chicks, mostly because I think he's hot.


	21. I'm a Kirk, You Can't Keep ME Down!

AN: So this is a REPOST of Ch 21. I forgot a scene I just had to have in there so I'm adding it. Also I'm too lazy to bother nixing Len's accent in this chapter but from now on he'll only have the missing 'g' on '-ing' words. Okay? Okay.

2259 – April 15th ???? Hours

Liv sighed softly and leaned against the wall, watching Jim. "You know you'll never be able to pick that, right? You're way rusty."

Jim glared at her from the door, a slim piece of hard wood between his fingers and inserted into the lock. "Well you're not helping you know." Jim snapped, almost waspishly. Liv closed her eyes slightly, letting his anger wash past her. She knew he wasn't angry with her, not really. "You got any grand ideas?"

"Not yet." She admitted calmly, fighting back her own terror and anxiousness. Someone had to stay calm. "Jimmy, Spock and Len will come for us." She had to keep telling herself that, over and over again, hoping she'd believe it. She knew they would come for them, it was protocol, but she had to believe in Len and Spock. _Working together they could be a really powerful team._ She thought with a wry smile. _The question, of course, is if they can handle each other long enough to get us out without killing each other._

"I don't like waiting for rescue, Liv." Jim muttered, turning back to the lock. "You can never be sure it's coming. The only thing we have is each other."

Liv closed her eyes, tipping her head back against the cool stone, and let her mind wander. _How do you get out of a giant marble box with only one door…_ She wondered.

0345 Hours

"Doctor McCoy." Spock's voice cut through Len's mild panic, halting his pacing in mid-stride. "I require your presence on the bridge."

"Green-blooded hobgoblin." Len muttered darkly, lashing out in his nervousness and anger. "Ah'm comin'!" He snapped, heading out of his office.

He turbolift doors opened and Len immediately understood why he'd been called for. M'Tal'K's striped face stared out at him from the screen, looking as solemn as a half-tiger, half-human could look to a human.

"Yeh called?" He asked Spock, not taking his eyes away from his alien counterpart's golden-green ones.

"This creature says he has information about the status of Captain and Lieutenant Kirk. He claims truthfulness however he has no proof. He claimed he will only give this information to you." Spock stated calmly.

"Call Chris, she's better with people and she'll know if he's lying." Len snapped, fighting the urge to simply turn back and go to his Sick Bay. "Ah want nothin' to do with this asshole or any other of his species."

"I'm right here Cowboy." Chris quipped from the side of the bridge. "He's telling the truth, as far as I can tell. But won't talk to me."

Len glared darkly at the alien on the screen. "If yeh lie to Meh Ah'll find a medical way to make yeh regret it." He promised M'Tal'K. "Start talkin'."

M'Tal'K nodded slightly. "Your woman, Livine, and her brother, your Captain, are being held captive by my High Lord- not some faction of the people as he has told you." Len felt his mild anxiousness start to grow into something more akin to terror. Warm calm washed over him and he knew Chris was doing her best to keep him logical and steady.

"Why would he lie to us?" Spock asked simply, quickly.

M'Tal'K hesitated but at Len's nod continued. "He wished to keep them until dawn, at which time he shall force them to wed him and your laws will force them to remain here, his concubines for the rest of their existence."

"I'm sorry," Nyota interrupted, "WHAT?!" Len couldn't agree more, "Ye've got to be kiddin' meh." He muttered at the same time.

"Twins are highly desired to my people." M'Tal'K explained. "Particularly identical ones. It is said that marrying twins will give the High Lord great power and longevity."

"They're not identical." Len argued, as if it would help though he knew it would not. "Technically they're fraternal twins because they're not the same sex."

"That matters little, in fact it makes them all the more powerful as they are identical in every way but their sex." The tiger-alien responded, calmly but sorrowfully. "He will never let them go and by your own laws you have less than three hours to free them."

"Why are yeh tellin' us this?" Len asked slowly, realizing that kinship between Chief Doctors wouldn't account for M'Tal'K's sharing such volatile information.

M'Tal'K closed his eyes and his ears twitched backward, an annoyed or upset action. "The High Lord is a greedy and foolish creature. The Prince would be a good Lord but his father will not back down. I wish for you to come, quietly, and steal away your people."

"Makin' the High Lord look foolish and powerless and givin' the Prince a foot in the door." Len finished, suddenly feeling hopeful.

"There will be violence, you will need to kill. But should you do so quietly, cleanly, you may get your people out alive." M'Tal'K said, nodding. "Is this agreeable?"

Len wanted to say 'Hell yes' but he forced himself to look to Spock. For a long moment the Vulcan was silent. _Say yes yeh Goddamned Green-blooded Hobgoblin!_ He yelled in his head, clenching his hands.

"It is. Create an ion particle beckon for us to hone in on in a private place to beam down in. You shall have the spark for your rebellion, all we wish is our people." Spock finally answered, tipping his head slightly.

0450 Hours

Len could hardly believe what he was considering. _Ah had nightmares for months last time._ He reminded himself, tucking the phaser into a holster on his hip. _Am Ah really gonna do this? Ah could kill people._ He distinctly remembered what he and Liv had had to do to free themselves, Chris, and Jim last time. He didn't want to be that man again. He hadn't believed he was capable of such violence and rage until then and he didn't relish the idea of going back to that dark, primal place.

Looking about his room he caught sight of the picture of Joanna that hung on his wall. The halograhic image of Joanna it projected and the recording of his baby's voice had been a God send, keeping him sane so far away from his home. Liv had given him that.

"Doctor McCoy." Spock's voice came, bland and annoying as hell, from the comm. "We are ready."

Len nodded to himself, steadying and fortifying his resolve. He was going to get Liv. He was going to go get his PA, his friend, his Goddamned woman, and he was going to let nothing get in his way.

"I'm on my way." Len said calmly though his hands were shaking slightly. _Ah'm comin' Liv. Just don't let Jim get yeh into more trouble than yer already in._ Turning on his heel Len headed out of his quarters and toward the turbolift to take him to the Transporter room.

???? Hours

Liv heard Jim's muffled curse only half a second after the sharp snapping sound of the wood breaking filled the room. She didn't dare say 'I told you so' though she thought it. Considering what to say to soothe her twin she took a few small steps forward, soundlessly. Liv settled by his side, tucking her hand in his arm, leaning her head on his shoulder. Nothing she could say would soothe the sting of his failure…

_I can always make him laugh._ She thought with a tiny grin. "Hey, Jimmy?" He grunted. "Weird question…"

He opened his eyes and caught hers. He offered her a bitter, wry smile. "I thought you knew everything." Liv rolled her eyes at him and swatted his side. He yelped but laughed slightly. _Success! _She cheered herself mentally. "Shoot."

_What could I ask… What don't I know about him?_ It hit her and the instant the thought did she had to know the answer. "You've never…" she let it trail off, not sure how to say it, "with Len?"

For a moment Jim was silent, his brows drawn together. All of a sudden he said, a little loudly, "Bones?! EW, LIVIE!" He shuddered, his nose wrinkled and Liv burst out laughing. "Hell no, Liv! He's way too Southern." He shrugged against her, only making her giggle more. "Besides, he's as straight as they come."

After her giggles at his reaction she said simply, "Oh, okay." Trying to hide her relief.

"Why?" Jimmy asked, his eyes narrowing on her face. "You interested?"

Not knowing how to react Liv blinked. "In Len?" She asked, buying time to figure out how to answer it. _Am I interested? Duh, but will I do anything about it? No. And is it sane? No._ Jimmy nodded. "Hell no." She said jokingly. "Like you said… He's too Southern." _Ignoring the fact his accent makes my knees week._ She thought

Jimmy's eyes narrowed further, as if seeing through her. He opened his mouth to argue when a sharp but soft sound of claws clicking on marble filled the air. They froze. The sound was from within the room, but they could see no one.

"Liv?" Jim whispered, turning to look at her, his eyes wide.

Liv looked up, searching the room, her hands curling into fists should she need to fight. From high above her, in the small window easily thirty feet above her, a whiskered face peered down at her.

"Livine." Murmured the gravely voice of the Prince. He let a rope down and motioned for her frantically. "Swiftly, quietly." He called, keeping his voice low and soft.

Jim's hand touched her back and Liv jumped, startled. He steadied her. "We trust him?" Jim murmured into her ear. Liv just shrugged. _Do we have a choice?_ She wondered before walking to the rope and taking hold with both hands, Jim was right behind her. Together they climbed the rope as quickly as they could.

Because of the rush and the need for silence Liv's arms were burning before she reached the top; but she kept going, knowing Jimmy was right behind her. Should she fall she was taking him with her. At the top, as she grasped the granite windowsill she was grateful for the Prince, who grabbed her arm and helped pull her up; her hands were abraded and bloody.

As Jim shimmied up onto the windowsill Liv glanced to the other side of the window arch. No rope, no way down. The space on the sill was cramped but somehow they managed as the Prince hauled up the rope and threw it down the other side. Liv realized it was anchored to his waist. "Go." He urged her after a moments hesitation on her part.

_If you say so._ She thought with a mental shrug. _Hope my weight doesn't hurt you too much…_ She took hold of the rope, ignoring her bloody hands, and shifted her weight down. Because of the blood slicked hands she slid right down the rope, burning away even more skin on her palms. She didn't yelp in pain like she wanted to, but only because she bit her cheek to stop herself. She tasted blood.

Moments later Jim and the Prince (who had jumped) were beside her. "Go, follow the hallway to the right, do not leave it, do not be seen. My father will realize you are not in the room shortly. Your weapons are in the far door, end of the hall." Liv felt herself nod numbly and saw Jim doing the same. Before the Prince turned away he grasped her cheeks with his weird hands and rubbed his cheek to hers. She thought he said something in his own language but she couldn't be sure. Before she could ask he had turned and was striding rapidly away.

Liv turned and realized Jim was staring at the Prince with a mingled look of awe, shock, and rage. She rolled her eyes. _So not the time to be all brotherly, Jimmy._ She thought, tugging his arm. "Glare at the Prince later," she whispered, "escape now."

He blinked. "Oh, yeah." He whispered back, turning with her and setting off down the hall at a slow, soundless jog. _We need a plan,_ she thought dimly but followed him anyway. _But plan-less and no longer stuck in the room is better than plan-less and still stuck, so what the hell._

Leonard turned a corner just behind Spock, his phaser at the ready. It was set to stun but that could be easily changed if need be, thought he had little intention of doing so unless he absolutely had to.

"This is the room," Spock announced in a low whisper that didn't carry at all. "Open the door." He ordered the Yeoman who had announced he was proficient at lock picking. Len was too but he wasn't about to announce said skill set to the crewmen around him. He knew how Ships gossip could be. It was down right dangerous to say some things aloud, everything got to everyone on the _Enterprise._

The yeoman was apparently better at it than Len was. The heavy granite door opened with a little click. Spock pushed on it and the heavy stone moved without much effort. The room behind the door was… interesting. From ceiling to floor, the walls were covered in sheer silk. The room was filled with opulent furniture, including a bed big enough to host a party on. But no where in sight were Jim or Liv.

Len;s blood ran cold as fear shot through him. _What did they do to them?!_ He thought angrily, storming into the room to search for some signs of his Captain and _his_ Liv. The bed was rumpled, but not from a struggle; it looked as if someone has laid there… two someones. Turning he scanned the room. On the white floor something brilliantly red caught his eye. He walked forward, his heart beating rather powerfully and painfully in his throat.

"Ah've got blood," He called as he reached it, realizing what it had to be without toughing it. Half a dozen or so droplets, all small and round, as if dropped from a height without movement. Drip marks, not cast off. He looked up. There was a small window, high, high above him, set into the marble. He heard Spock approach him. "Yeh don't think?" He asked the Vulcan.

"It is highly improbable, nearly impossible." Spock said emotionlessly. _Ah know Chrissy loves this Hobgoblin but could he be a little worried? Would it kill him?_ "However," Spock continued, startling Len, "knowing the Kirk twins, I would not say impossible. Indeed it seems most likely as there would be signs of a struggle should they have been removed."

Len nodded. "So we go to the other side of that window and follow the blood." He said, feeling a little relieved. They were on the move, that was something. He turned and followed Spock out and around the corner. The tiny drops of blood were larger, more substantial, but still drips. Somehow they'd managed a way to get up and down the wall, and the blood was probably dripping straight down as they scaled the walls. There was no blood on the walls themselves, however. _When this is over,_ he thought, _I'm going to have to ask them how they managed this._

Keeping his eyes peeled, Len began walking slowly in the direction he had yet to go, searching for another drop of blood to tell him if they'd gone that way. Not too far along he saw another drop, this one had a tail. "This way." He said to Spock, though he was quite sure the Vulcan knew it as well as he did, probably from seeing the same drop of blood. _Hell he probably knows how fast they're movin',_ he thought bitterly.

The team moved slowly down the hall, following the slowly thickening trail of blood drops. So slowly it chaffed on him. Clearly they were close by, the blood drops were still fresh, but they were probably moving fast and if his group didn't speed up Len was afraid he'd never reach his friends before something bad happened to them.

Of course it was that moment when Len heard the scuffling sound of a fight break loose in front of them, around at least one corner. Less than a heartbeat later he heard the first yelps of pain. _Goddamnit Jim, Liv!_ He thought angrily.

Liv felt hard hands close around her shoulders even before she heard the feet behind her, that's how quick and silent the Aliens were; and before she had the chance to fight she was lifted clean off her feet by said hands. Claws prickled into her bare arms as she struggled, "Jimmy!" She called to her twin, who was a few strides in front of her, just as an Alien lunged for him.

Jim dodged sideways and the Alien stumbled past him. To her amusement Jim helped the Tiger-looking man (?) to fall by sticking out his leg. The heavy thump rattled the hallway, making Liv grin. _The bigger they are…_ She thought, remembering the ancient adage. She felt a little guilty when the Tiger-man didn't struggle to his feet but lay still. Liv realized his chin was parallel to the floor, an unnatural angle. _Oops._

The sudden death of their comrade spurned the attackers into action. The one holding her backed up a little and two more leapt toward Jim. Liv took the momentum of her captor's steps and helped them along a bit, kicking out backward toward his groin. They had the same genital arrangement as humanoids… He grunted and stumbled, falling backward. She landed on his chest and he released her for just a moment.

It was all she needed. Liv leapt up and turned, driving her heel into his sternum. Bare feet were less effective than boot-shod feet; but with her rage and fear behind it the blow made her whole leg ache. She felt something catch the foot that she had her weight balanced on and a quick thought flashed through her mind. _Fuck._ And then she was falling backward rapidly, her foot jerked out from under her.

The granite was as hard and unyielding as she figured it would be. It knocked the breath from her lungs and scrambled all her senses as he head struck and bounced. She thought she heard panicked voices from where she'd come from, but she couldn't be sure. Everything faded into blissful black…

Len saw Liv fall backward and panic flooded him. He saw her bounce, saw the blooming of bright red blood that stained the pure white marble flooring and her still glittering hair. He didn't even realize he'd aimed his phaser until the Alien who had tripped her shuddered and dropped back against the floor. The sharp but soft sounds of the phasers being fired surrounded him as the little away team openly fired upon the Aliens attacking Jim and Liv.

He took no head of the danger and all but ran to Liv's side, kneeling at her head and gently reaching for her. He checked himself just a hairs breath from touching her. She could be seriously injured. He placed his phaser by his side and pulled out his tricorder.

Cracked skull, moderate concussion, bleeding around the brain. But no broken neck or other injuries, ignoring the seriously abraided skin on her palms and the sides of her feet. Len pulled Liv into his arms and hugged her to himself for a moment. Relief so strong it shook him to his core flooded through him. _She's alive._ He thought over and over again. _She's alive._

A hard grasped his shoulder and Len grabbed his phaser, turning to whoever had… It was Jim, looking worse for wear but mobile and determined. Len handed his Captain the Phaser without a word. Jim was a better shot anyway. He turned his eyes back to Liv and stared. Only then did her attire hit him.

Dark blue, almost sheer silk covered her breasts (barely) and draped around her waist in a twisted, tangled skirt. If he didn't cover her soon someone would see the scars she was so twitchy about. Gingerly he set her back down and peeled his shirt from his body, removing the comm. badge and attaching it to his under shirt. Quickly, but as gently, as possible he slid the shirt on her and tugged it down, covering her pale, beautiful skin from the eyes of those crewmen with him – and from himself.

Feeling better Len scooped Liv into his arms and stood. His back twinged. _Ah'm getting old._ He thought bitterly. He wasn't as well built as some of the others on the away team but he was strong enough to carry Liv, and damn it, even if he weren't he was going to carry her anyway. _No one's taken yeh away from Meh, Liv._ He thought to the broken, bloody woman in his arms. _Not anytime soon._

Turning he followed the away team back to the safe place to beam up.

Liv jerked awake, her heart racing, adrenaline flooding her system… Though the lights were off it took only a heartbeat for her to recognize the Private Biobed rooms aboard the _Enterprise. _She wasn't sure which room she was in, though judging from the arrangement of the room it was the starboard side. Her head ached, her mouth was dry, and her limbs felt like lead.

"Computer, what time is it?" She asked softly.

"Twelve fifty nine hundred hours." The computer answered.

Closing her eyes Liv let herself relax. "Computer, what is the date?" She'd hit her head pretty hard… she might have done some major damage.

"April the sixteenth, 2259." The computer answered again.

"Well thank God." She muttered to herself. Then her mind caught up with her. "Wait, what?" She asked, her eyes flying open again. "April 16th?"

"Indeed." The computer responded.

"I've been out longer than a day?" She mused aloud. "Did I really fall that hard?" She tried to banish the exhaustion that made her limbs so heavy and the dizziness that flooded her each time she moved. "Computer, what is my medical diagnosis?"

"Doctor McCoy has diagnosed a moderate concussion. Care to be bed rest and a week with no duties confined to quarters and the mess for two meals daily."

Liv glared at nothing in particular. _Pain in the ass._ She thought darkly. It took a few more moments but slowly Liv began taking account of her senses. Her head ached, she knew that, but her hands were fine. Her body aches were minimal. The room was cool but not cold, but to ward off said chill she had a warm, thicker than regulation blanket covering her. She glanced down. It was the one she kept on her bed.

With a little smile she forced herself to sit up completely, letting the warm blanket slide to her waist. She was still warm. _Medical robes have those funny tied in the back… shouldn't my back be cold?_ She looked down again. She was wearing a big, blue uniform shirt. One that was far to big to be her own. The bands on the sleeve were the ones for a Medical officer… a Chief Medical officer. _This is Len's?_ She wondered. _When did he give me this?_ She snuggled into it for a moment and inhaled, wondering…

It smelled like sweat, soap, man, and something she couldn't place but that screamed 'Len' to her. Actually it screamed 'sunlight on a meadow' and 'spring thunder storms' with a dash of 'forest after night has begun to fall' to Liv. But that's what Len smelled like to her. He smelled good, warm, comforting, and inviting. She smiled a little shyly.

Sliding off the biobed, her knees almost buckled under a wave of dizziness but Liv held strong. Determined she took a breath and collected her blanket in her arms, hiding the insignia emblazoned on the shirt she wore that made it all to plain who'd donated it to her. Quietly, meekly, Liv stumbled back to her room, intent on sleeping the full week she was on bed rest, starting immediately.

Len walked into the quiet, dark Biobed room, wondering if Liv was up yet. Her concussion was severe enough he wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't… The biobed was empty.

Surprise flooded Len, followed closely by panic. _Where is Mah girl? Where is Liv?_ He could have asked the computer, were he thinking clearly, but he wasn't. Fuel by his panic Len took off at a near run to Liv's rooms, praying. _Lord God let her have snuck out and be sleepin'. God don't let it of all been a dream. Don't take her away from meh…_

He didn't bother with waiting for Liv to open her door, he just punched in the EMC and opened the door himself. He glanced around as he stepped through the door, his heart pounding so hard he feared it might rip out of his chest. Then his eyes fell on her and he calmed instantly. Everything was alright.

She stared at him, her big, bleed-me-blue eyes wide with shock. She was still in his shirt, which he'd stubbornly left on her though there were other things available (He'd tried not to analyze that…). It didn't occur to him to relax, to talk to her, or to give her space, though she was probably more than a little jumpy.

Len walked to her in three long strides and pulled her flush against himself. "God woman, Yeh scared meh. Ah didn't clear yeh to leave Sickbay."

He felt her hesitate for only a moment before she wrapped her arms around him in return. He felt suddenly very warm. "Were you there?" She asked, her voice only a little muffled by his chest. "Did I really hear your voice in that palace yesterday?"

"Yeah." He admitted, fighting the urge to thread his fingers through her hair and stroke her back.

"You came for me?" She asked, pulling away just enough to look him in the face. Len flushed but nodded. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Just don't do it again." He scolded, not sure if he was talking about getting caught, AGAIN, or sneaking out of his damned Sickbay without permission, AGAIN. Maybe it was both.

She smiled wryly. Though she was a bit pale still the expression righted every possible wrong in his own personal universe at that moment. "No promises." She said cheekily. He didn't think. He just acted. He kissed her.

His mouth was warm, just as she remembered, and his lips dry, but not chapped. But unlike the last few kisses Liv had given him, this was him kissing her. He was a very active participant. His hands shifted, one cupping her chin and one holding the small of her back, keeping her close.

She felt surrounded, overwhealmed, taken over… And she liked it. The heat of his mouth coursed through her, making her respond before she could possibly think of the repercussions of her actions.

He pulled away and Liv heard a small, annoyed sound. She didn't quite realize for a moment that it had been her. "God Ah am glad yer alright." Len muttered before pressing back against her. Liv's back hit the wall and Len's hand shifted, pining her there. Fear that should have hit her didn't. She just felt like she was drowning in something hot and amazing as his lips touched hers again. She felt her fingers curl around his shirt, pulling him even closer…

"Doctor McCoy?" Came a cool, disinterested voice. "Lieutenant Kirk." It hit Liv like ice water and with it came realization, followed by embarrassment and fear. Len growled and spun on the intruder, Spock, and Liv took the moment to disappear.

"What the hell do yeh want?" She heard Len snap before she closed the bathroom door.

"You're presence is required on the bridge." Spock's voice answered. Liv could hardly hear him through the door…

Len spun to promise to be back. It was only then that he realized Liv was missing. He turned and looked around the room, ignoring Spock's questioning gaze. The bathroom door was closed. She was hiding in there.

_DAMNIT! _He yelled to himself. _Ah scared her! Ah moved too fast and made mah filly run. Shit!_ He knew better than to press her, else wise she'd just run faster and farther. He just had to trust that they'd built enough of a relationship that she'd come back. After all… she had kissed him back. With a scowl he followed Spock out of Liv's room.

"Yeh coulda rung the bell." He muttered darkly.

"I did." Spock answered. "Multiple times. It was ignored."

Len fought a grin. _Ah didn't realize we were kissin' for that long…_ Maybe he hadn't blown it after all… maybe he was finally getting where he wanted to be with her.


	22. And So It Begins

AN: This is going to be a long set of chapters. Sad to say Liv and Len don't get a quiet moment. This is a warning, the ONLY warning. For the next few chapters you will not get any because I feel it detracts from the intensity of the story. If you are squeamish or under the age of 17 then I would not advise reading the next few chapters. Ask and ye shall receive a summary of events, however.

2259 – April 16th 1938 Hours

Liv stood in the shower, letting the hot water pound against her sore back and chest. _Oh God._ She thought, hardly noticing the water or the ringing of her door chime. _Oh God I kissed him… I kissed my superior officer. Well… Technically he kissed me first but I kissed him back… And GOD did I like it._ Given another opportunity would she do it again? _Oh God yes._ She thought, closing her eyes to remember the experience.

_Why the hell did no one tell me it was this nice?_ She wondered.

_You're out of your MIND!_ Screamed the soft, but insistently nagging voice of her common sense. _He's your BOSS! Your brother's best friend! One of your friends! _Liv frowned, seeing the annoying voice's point. _And honestly it was probably just stress on his part. Relief that you're alive, that he found you. He doesn't love you._

_He kissed me… twice. And he came to get me._ She argued, but already she was losing the warm fuzzy feeling in her chest.

_Relief and a warped sense of responsibility to you because you're his crew. _Snapped almost brutally the common sense. Oddly enough it sounded masculine…_ He's Southern, chivalry isn't dead there._ The warm feeling was fading fast.

_Maybe…_ The door chimed and a voice cut through her thoughts. "Liv?" Chapel called loudly. "Liv I'm supposed to check up on you!" _He sent Chapel?_ Her heart plummeted and the last vestiges of hope faded. _Oh yeah, if he were interested he'd of come himself._

"In the shower!" She yelled to her coworker and friend.

April 22nd 0730 Hours

Liv was understandably pleased to be back to work. A week confined to her room was pure torment. What's worse was Len could have used a regenerator to mend the bruised portions of her brain. His reasons not to were sound, regenerated tissue wasn't as likely to stay perfectly healed and it caused minor scaring that could build up if done too frequently, but good reasons or no Liv had been chomping at the bit for days.

_Still though, _she thought as she slid past Len's open office door to her own small desk, _probably for the best. Dunno if I could have faced him much earlier._ On the flip side she'd been having nightmares without her work to exhaust her beyond dreams and keep her mind from memories best left in the dark.

Picking up her PADD Liv surveyed the scheduled patients for the day. Nothing interesting, nothing that would keep her mind off Len. "I'm so glad you're back." Gasped the beta shift PA, who'd apparently been covering for her. She walked up to Liv with a sigh, glancing around to make sure no one was listening to them. "God only knows how you put up with that man. He is such a grouch! I swear I've never met a more difficult man in my life!"

Liv hesitated, her mind running with the other woman's words. _Huh… She's right, he is a hard man to handle… but… _She smiled slightly and shrugged. "You get used to him and it sort of… washes past you, you stop noticing it much."

The woman rolled her eyes. "God help me I hope I never have to be around him that long." She smiled slightly. "But since you've been working her you've changed." She laughed. "You know at first I thought you were afraid of your own shadow. And now you're telling me how to handle the most cantankerous, difficult man alive."

As the woman wandered off, out of the Sick bay, Liv smiled slightly. _I guess I have changed. I'm not Sammy Kirk, and I'm not a woman who's afraid of her own shadow, or of most men. _Speaking of the devil…

"Mornin' Liv." Len's voice washed over her, his heavily accented words warming her right through. _God I'm pathetic._ She thought. _And even if I'm not, he's my boss. It's wrong, end of discussion._

"Morning boss." She chirped back, turning to face him with a smile.

Len's eyes focused unerringly on her lips as they curled into a beautiful smile. _Must not scare her more than I already have. Gotta let her come to me. _He dragged his focus up to her bleed-me-blue eyes. They were slightly nervous but friendly. _Damnit._

"Let's get to work." He said simply, nodding toward the first crewman who'd just walked into Sick bay. "It going to be quite a day." He had a feeling in his gut, one that said if he could have, he should have stayed in bed.

But as predicted Liv rolled her beautiful eyes and grinned. "The schedual is extremely boring. How the hell do you know it's going to be a big day?"

He offered her a wry, snarky bark of a laugh. "Because I'm a doctor, that's how I know!" He enjoyed her laugh.

"You know you probably scared all the PA's you had filling in for me. The one who just left said you were the most cantankerous man alive." Liv commented teasingly, heading for the first patient.

Len scowled. _If I frighten normal people how does Liv stand me?_ "And you're still here why?"

Liv shrugged, grabbing a pair of gloves. "We're physicians, we don't have to be nice." She grinned. "And you're not as scary as you or anyone else thinks. Not really."

1315 Hours

Leonard finished signing the last of the PADD charts from the morning's patients. A mild burn on an Engineer that had healed fine, a sprained ankle that was strong enough to go without a splint, nothing interesting. The door wooshed open into his sickbay. Len glanced up. A man wearing yellow stumbled in, his cheeks were pale.

Len was on his feet and heading into the main bay a moment later. Liv beat him to the crewman, steadying him with an arm around his shoulders. "Talk to me." He ordered briskly.

"My head is spinning something awful." Muttered the crewman. "Scotty sent me when I tried to come onto shift."

"He's got a moderate fever." Liv said calmly, helping the man settle onto a biobed. "A little clammy."

"Computer, full body scan on patient in biobed three. Now." Len ordered. A series of soft beeps echoed through the still air.

"Patient has a fever of 100*." The computer answered. "There are no apparent bacterial infections or viral causes. There is an anomaly in the blood, unknown."

Liv looked at him over the crewman's head. "Cardassian Flu? Early stages?" She asked. Sometimes the virus was just mutated enough to fool the computer.

"Most likely." Especially since it wasn't anything else… He handed Liv a hypo and looked at the patient. "We're pretty sure it's the Cardassian Flu that's mutated a bit. Which it's prone to do." Liv injected him. "That is the cure. There is a slight possibility it won't wok for the mutated strain but it has immune boosters. Don't worry, the Cardassian flu isn't lethal, just annoying."

"Bed rest, quiet next few days. If you're alright in a few days then you'll be allowed back to work." Liv continued for him. "If you get worse send us a comm., but don't come back in. You're highly contagious for the next few days." She handed the crewman a specialized facemask, just like the one he'd worn when he was sick.

"So get the hell out of here." Len growled at the whimpering man. "And don't whimper, it's not that bad. I had it a few months ago." The crewman wavered out of the sickbay and Len hardly thought about him for the rest of the day.

2259 – April 25th 0825 Hours

Len didn't twitch as the sickbay doors opened, his attention was completely consumed by Jim and the rapidly bleeding split along his arm. "What the hell did you do Jim?" Len growled.

"I was sparing with Spock before shift." His Captain announced chipperly, as if his arm didn't have a six inch long gash in it.

"That was over an hour ago Jim." Len muttered. "Why the hell didn't you come here immediately?!"

"Because he's an idiot?" Liv snapped. There was a mild cracking noise of a hand on flesh. Jim yelped. "Next time, don't be stupid Jimmy."

"Bones! Your PA is assaulting me!" Jim complained.

"She's your sister." Len answered, trying to hide a grin.

"Doctor, we need Livine out here." Called Nurse Chapel from the main bay.

Len glanced up at her blue, blue eyes from her idiot brother's wound. "Go ahead. I've got this."

Liv grinned. "If he makes a break for it there's a sedative on the tray right by your side."

"Traitor!" Jim yelled after his twin. A moment later he huffed. "You've poisoned my sister against me Bones. You are a cruel, evil man. How did you do it?"

Len rolled his eyes. "I haven't done a thing to your sister, Jim." _Except kiss her when she clearly didn't really want me to, though she responded like she did. And there's nothing I'd change about her. Not a damned thing._ He LIKED his wild little filly, she kept him on his toes and she made him… relaxed… happy. Finishing up with Jim he fixed his Captain with the most stern look in his arsenal of looks. "Next time come to me as soon as you're injured you idiot."

"But it hurts!" Jim argued before all but dashing out of the sickbay, tossing winks at the few attractive nurses milling around.

"Infant." Len muttered. Standing and dusting off his hands Len strode into the main bay. "Liv? What's his complaint?" Another crewman, pale, feverish, and wearing Engineering's bands on his sleeves.

"Flu-like symptoms that hit him this morning, low-grade fever, nausea, dizziness. He was working with Crewman Jonhson a few days ago, before he came to us with the flu." Liv answered, scanning over a PADD. "Computer scans show nothing. I'm thinking the same mutated strain of Cardassian Flu."

Len took the PADD and looked it over. Nodding he handed it back to her. "Alright, same treatment as Crewman Johnson. Get him out of my Sickbay, we're busy Liv."

As he walked out of the main bay and into his office he heard Liv snicker and say, "Ignore him, the coffee replicator is on the fritz and he's a bit worse than usual. Bed rest for a few days…" He smiled slightly. _God I am one lucky man. She's one helluva PA._

2259 – April 26th 1023 Hours

Len glanced at the clock on the wall. Liv had been gone for twenty three minutes to check up on the two flu patients. She should be back shortly, which was good because they were about to begin Physicals again and arranging the schedule was going to take her input. _Hurry up woman._ He thought annoyed, the coffee function on the replicator was still on the fritz and he hadn't dared to test the delicate balance between them by asking Liv for some of hers.

"Len?" Came Liv's familiar voice from over the comm.

"Yes Liv?" He asked, wondering what the heck was wrong. She shouldn't have to call him…

"I need you in Crewman Johnson's rooms." There was a slight hesitation. "Like now." Liv had never ordered him to do anything, in fact he'd never heard her order anyone to do anything. But the worrying thing was that she did, and her voice was urgent and frightened.

"Be there in a tic." He answered, shutting down the comm. and grabbing his travel med kit.

Liv was rarely shocked or horrified by her job. She'd seen almost everything between her piss poor childhood and the few months she'd been onboard the _Enterprise_. But what she was currently looking at made her queasy and more than a little worried. Still she had a patient to tend to.

"You're just fine Crewman." She assured him, knowing she was possibly lying. _God something is NOT right._

"But… my eyes…" He croaked, his voice cracking.

"It's not a big deal, just a new symptom." She handed him a glass of water she'd snagged from his table. "Have a drink, you sound as dry as the Saharah."

"Livine?" Len asked, walking quickly through the door.

"Come take a look." She said simply, knowing he'd see what she was seeing without prompting, which could seriously freak the patient. She heard him walk right up behind her and lean over her shoulder. The heat of his body all but radiated against her back and neck. _God he's warm. He's not sick too is he?_

She heard the hiss of nervous or shocked intake of breath. "Taken scans?" He asked her, his hand reaching past her to gently poke and prod at the patient.

"Yes." She said simply, fighting the urge to turn around.

"Good, let's go." He nodded to the patient. "We'll be back later, but no need to worry. This is just a new and interesting symptom. Helps us track the progress of the disease." Together they headed out of the room.

"Don't tell me that's normal." She muttered as soon as they entered the hall and the door was shut behind them. "We need to quarantine him and his buddy until we figure out what the hell this is. Because it is NOT Cardassian Flu."

Len's mouth was pressed into a firm, worried line. "I agree. Lord I knew the twenty second was a bad day to get out of bed."

Considering the crewman's state Liv had to agree, but it was probably worse for Crewman Johnson. After all, it was his chest that was being wracked with a harsh, nasty cough, his body that was losing weight almost too fast due to his fever, and his eyes that turned a vibrant, blood red over night from burst capillaries.

AN: Okay, it's short, but it's an introduction to the series of events. Hope you all enjoyed.


	23. A Diagnosis Would Be Nice, Doctor

2259 – April 30th 1358 Hours

Len fought the urge to scream. _Ten patients, ten GODDAMNED patients!_ All with the mysterious illness that was frustratingly baffling. The first two had worsened; both of them had eyes the color of blood and their symptoms had progressed dangerously.

Fevers spiking up to 106 degrees had the patients suffering from intermittent seizures, lips so chapped they bled, major dehydration, and a weakness that made them too feeble to lift a glass of water to their lips. He'd isolated them, gotten them on the best meds possible and nothing was keeping them stable, let alone improving their condition.

Liv walked into his office, her eyes dark and worried. "How are the others?" He asked, feeling numb and exhausted, not his usual self.

"Fevers, nausea, dizziness. Basic flu symptoms, nothing I'd worry about." She huffed and sat on the edge of his desk. It might have annoyed him before but he was just too dead on his feet to care. "Except Crewman Lawson's eyes have begun to turn pink-red. It's only a matter of time now."

"You isolated all of them then?" He knew she had, she was damn good after all, but it was his job to check.

"Yea." Without a word she stole the still steaming mug from beside his hand and took a swallow. Len would have glared at her but for a few reasons. One: it was her coffee, sure it was a mug she'd made for him, but she'd given it to him in the first place. Two: he was just too damned tired. Three: it was the first time she'd relaxed so completely in his presence since he'd kissed her.

Actually it was the first time she'd been in his presence when they weren't working or at least talking about work. "You've been avoidin' me, Liv." He blurted out before thinking. Almost immediately he realized what he'd said be he couldn't take it back. _Shit, shit, shit. Lord, please don't make her run away…_

Liv blinked up at him. "What are you talking about Len? I'm right here, working beside you, day after day. I'm not avoiding you." _Or be in denial._ He thought dismally.

_Well now I've said it I might as well push my luck…_ "Damn it, Liv, you know what I mean. You're never alone with me unless we're talking shop. You don't come to play chess with Jim and I."

He saw the very minute tensing of her shoulders. If he didn't know her so damn well he'd never have noticed. "I don't know what you mean." Her tone of voice had a finality to it, she wanted to end the conversation…

But Len pushed on, suddenly stupid. "No, you do know what I mean. And I know why too. It's because I scared you, with that kiss."

Her lips pressed into a thin line. "Two kisses actually." She corrected and he realized she was trying to suppress a smile. _Or is what wishful thinking?_ But he could have sworn there was no fear in her eyes, no disgust or horror… "Besides, you were just stressed and emotional. I mean you nearly lost your PA, again, AND your Captain and best friend. I know it was a product of the stress, Len. I'm not avoiding you and I'm not scared."

Frustration flooded him. _Stressed? Emotional? Damn right I was emotional I thought I'd lost the woman I'm pathetically mad for and what's worse, now she blows it off!_ Len stood, placed either hand on opposite sides of her and leaned down, his face to hers. "Damn it woman." He growled softly, "I wasn't stressed or some such nonsense. I thought I'd lost you. I thought I'd been denied the one thing I wanted in the wreck that is my life and then all of a sudden I hadn't and I just had to let you know. Okay?"

He watched the beautiful scarlet blush that flooded her cheeks and how her eyes flicked from his mouth to his eyes. "So… you meant it?"

"Of course I meant it woman," he rumbled, no longer angry just… nervous. He wanted to touch her, reassure him self she wouldn't run away again. But there was no reassurance. "I don't just kiss anyone."

"Oh." She muttered, her voice so soft he could hardly hear it. But he saw it. He saw the longing in her eyes, and this time he wasn't mistaken or just seeing what he wanted. There was a tenderness in her eyes, something soft and gentle as well as hot and desperate.

_Don't scare her off McCoy,_ He coached, letting one hand gently cup her chin. _Easy now, nice and slow. Give her time to run away. _But she didn't run, she didn't shy away like the scared little filly. But she didn't press her cheek into his touch like he wished she would. Carefully he pressed a kiss to her forehead then hesitated. Then another to her cheek, and he hesitated. Her eyes slid closed. He pressed a brief, gentle kiss to her lips.

That seemed to jolt her awake. She leaned away, her eyes closed tightly. "Len, Len no. You're my boss. And I… I just… I can't." But when her eyes opened his heart, which had been shattering, warmed. Oh how she wanted to, if he could read her eyes by now. _And I like to think I can._ He thought. But she was scared of taking that final leap, of trusting him that much.

He shrugged and pressed another kiss to her forehead. "So I'll wait. I can be a very patient man, if it's worth waiting for." He moved a few steps back as he spoke and Liv slid off the desk and to the door, distancing herself from him. He didn't let that bother him, but he didn't finish the sentence, just let the final words hang in the air, unspoken for now. _And you are very much worth waiting for._ He thought as she slid from the office. _And I'll wait as long as need be._

2259 – May 1st 0957 Hours

Len glanced at Liv subtly, from the corner of his eye. She hadn't been acting odd around him like he'd been afraid she would. Pushing her had a tendency to make her pull away, not push back as it did Jim. But she'd surprised him, taking neither path, refusing to be shaken by his proclamation.

The day hadn't started too terribly. None of the current patients were getting better, Crewman Larson's eyes had turned fully red, but at least no one else was sick. There was, at least, that. It had helped keep him a little cheerier than the past few days. He didn't want to hope but maybe the worst was over. The original two patients had stabilized during the night, they were still on death's door but at least they weren't dead and their fevers had subsided a little.

"Got anythin'?" He asked Liv after a moment, realizing she was focusing and refocusing her little microscope screen. Every line of her body was tense, almost excited.

"Maybe." Liv muttered, "I don't recognize this macrophage though."

Len walked over to her and leaned around and over her to look at the screen clearly. It showed a twisted, warped macrophage, probably a bacteria or virus, but one he didn't recognize either. Still, he didn't recognize every disease by sight, no one did, there were just too many.

"It's not even a little familiar." Liv muttered, clearly annoyed and frustrated. They'd been hoping it was a mutated strain of something familiar. Having finally found it on the microscope they might have been able to recognize the base virus and done something about it.

"No, but I'll check manually if you go check the patients." He didn't order her, knowing she might tell him no just to rile him up (they were both more than a little on edge and her temper was nearly as volatile as his own). But this time she didn't argue, she just glanced up at him from over her shoulder; her blue eyes dejected. _My girl's as worried as I am._ He thought, not for the first time. She nodded and slid from the desk. "We'll beat this." He promised her, though he didn't quite believe it himself. Her wan smile said she didn't believe him any more than he believed himself.

Liv placed the ion mask in her ear and pressed the tiny button that turned it on. It hummed slightly in her ear. Crewman Johnson was first on her list of patients to check and the one she was most worried about. With a sigh Liv made herself walk to the first door along the hallway of small isolation rooms. They hardly had enough for the patients they already had. Anymore and they'd have to start doubling them up or risk possibly infecting everyone on board.

The door hissed open and she was bombarded by a light radiation that would kill any bacteria and viruses. A second door hissed open and Liv stepped into the white room. "Hello Johnson." She said softly, gently, "How are you today?"

He turned his head, his once glossy dark hair matted and dull, his face listless and sunken. His bright red eyes caught hers and she fought the urge to turn away. _Don't show disgust or horror or worry._ She reminded herself, exactly like she had in her first year of training. She hadn't needed to do so in years…

"I…" he coughed, but didn't cover his mouth- he had to strength left to move. "I have no fever still." He whispered hoarsely. Liv immediately lifted a glass of water to him chapped lips.

"That's great news." She said brightly. _But he's not getting better… why has the fever broken but he's still so sick? Isn't it over for him? Is he not on the mend?_ "I'm going to do a few tests really fast, nothing invasive, and then I'll let you get back to resting." Johnson didn't talk but he nodded, very slightly. He closed his eyes and lay back, trusting her to take care of him.

Liv moved to a little console and pressed in the series of tests she wanted the computer and the sensors to run. The screen displayed the findings only moments later. Liv frowned. _Huh… his blood count is down a bit. …that's odd._ "Aside from your usual symptoms has anything changed at all?" She asked Johnson without turning around, still puzzling over the results on the screen.

"Back aches, chest aches." He grunted with considerable effort.

"More than last night?" She asked, turning around to focus on him. _Any change, ANY CHANGE, could be vitally important. Why do patients never tell you everything unless you drag it out of them?!_

"Yes Ma'am." He croaked.

"I'm going to check your chest and back. I'll need to lift up your gown. I hope that's okay." She stepped forward, annoyed and worried. _What's this new symptom mean?_

He laughed, or… he tried to. He shouldn't have. The harsh sound made Liv feel ill. It sounded wrong, like something was wrong with his lungs. "Woulda loved it," he coughed, wheezing for breath for a minute, "two weeks ago." He gave her a pathetic wink. _At least he can flirt._ She thought, taking it as an improvement. The man was a congenital flirt and he'd been too ill to do so for a few days.

"Well I'm doing it now." She was in a joking voice though she didn't quite feel it. She lifted his cover and set it at hip level, to give him his decency, before gently unbuttoning and tugging upward the gown. At his collar the skin was a little red, still pinked from the low grade fever and his coughing. She unbuttoned a little lower and spread the gown. Her heart leapt into her throat and she couldn't stop her look of shock and fear.

"Not good, I take it." He gasped.

"No," she said brightly, controlling her expression, "no, it's not that. I was just surprised." She hated lying but she didn't want to worry him. Still… _Dusky red-purple skin is NOT good. _"I'm going to see if the bruising is on your back too. I'll need to roll you." She rebuttoned the top f his gown quickly, knowing the back was left open as it had been for centuries with hospital gowns. Without much effort, he'd lost too much weight, she rolled him onto his side and gotten a good look at his back.

It was red-purple too, worryingly dark. She settled him back down and smiled gently. "Well let me know if it hurts too much. Bruising is hard to help the pain for, especially since it's on your back, but we can try." He pulled his too chapped lips into a smile. A little cut opened, dripping blood onto his mouth. He sucked at it and when she moved to step the flow he shook her off.

"Happens all the time." He rasped. "Go, check the others." Liv nodded and slid from the room, but she didn't head to see the others.

Liv burst through the door not ten minutes later. She couldn't have checked the patients in so little time… Len looked up. Her cheeks were flushed with her rush, her eyes wild and worried, her lower lip worried by her teeth.

"Len," she snapped, "God Len we have to figure this out before it kills them."

_Wait, WHAT?_ He yelled in his head, all brain function focusing on the unrecognizable virus screeching to a halt and narrowing completely on Liv. "They're not dying, Liv. Johnson is on the mend. The fever broke."

"No." She argued, walking closer. "No the fever is back, low grade, barely 100, but that's not what worries me." Len glared, waiting for her to continue. "Len… Len Johnson has a slow bleed somewhere in his body. He's bruising on his back and chest and I don't know why." Terror filled her eyes as she leaned against the table. "Len he's hemorrhaging."

Hemorrhaging would kill if not stopped but slow bleeds usually stop on their own, clotting under the pressure of the blood they release. But never the less, even a slow bleed would kill Johnson if allowed to continue. "Where is he bleeding from?"

Liv scowled. "I don't know where."

"Did you check?" He asked, well… more snapped than asked.

"Of course I did." She snapped right back, her eyes flashing, her temper rising as his own did. "I'm not useless."

"Then how the hell do you not know where the blood is coming from?" He began pressing a few buttons, pulling up the body scan she must have done. …He found one. He pulled it up and stared. Nothing. There was nothing. Just blood, but no damaged areas, no reason for the bleed. "Oh Lord." He murmured, his temper flickering out like a flame that had been doused in water.

"Yea." Liv muttered. He felt her hands on his chair, felt her weight on the chair. "I can't see it. There's nothing."

"He has to be bleeding from somewhere." Len argued but he knew she was right. He couldn't see anything. "God, we need to cure this, fast."

"Yea," Liv muttered snarkily, sounding rather like himself, "well a diagnosis would be good, Doctor. Otherwise we're flying blind."

Len spun, knocking her hands off the back of his chair, and dropped a huge, heavy text into her hands, nearly off balancing her enough to send her to the floor. "Well get started then, PA of mine. The sooner we identify this the sooner we'll be able to help them."

1649 Hours

The door hissed open as Len argued with Liv. They'd long since handed the task of flipping through books to the Beta shift doctor and PA and shifted to listing symptoms on the glass of his office wall. Liv shook her dry erase marker at him, her eyes furious. "Damn it LEN! It's possible."

"It's not possible, Liv!" He yelled back, just as furious as Liv looked. "That disease has been dead since before the start of the twenty first century! Besides not all the symptoms fit!"

Liv stabbed at the glass with the capped marker, tapping each symptom. "Hemorrhaging in eyes and then body. Extremely high fever. Basic flu like symptoms at first."

"If it were what you say then we'd ALL be dead by now. It kills in DAYS. It's been over a week. And it's highly contagious. What we're dealing with isn't otherwise we'd have all of Engineering and most of the medical staff in the isolation rooms right now." He plucked the pen from her fingers, dropping his face to hers. "You're wrong, Liv. Let it go and think woman!"

"Am I interrupting something?" Jim asked, his voice sounding strained.

Len glanced at his friend before realizing exactly what the room looked like. Mugs of coffee littered the room, covering almost every available flat surface. Medical texts were open on the floor, spread around himself and Liv in a semi-circle. And they stood incredibly close, his nose had been only inches from hers.

"No, just a disagreement in diagnosis." Len muttered.

"You're not always right just because you're an MD." Liv snapped, walking from the room.

Jim watched her leave but didn't stop her. "God I should have known better than getting a PhD PA. She's just as bad as an MD, constantly arguing with me about diagnoses."

Jim shrugged. "Just wanted to remind you two to eat." He turned. "And be nice to my twin, Len. You know as well as I do she's worth her weight in gold and she works best when she's not fighting with you." He left, leaving Len feeling helpless and angry.


	24. Madhouse

2259 – May 5th 0238 Hours

Liv had only been asleep for a few hours when the call came. It jerked her from a sleep of the dead; and for a moment her mind didn't work, didn't seem to comprehend the words that were all but yelled over her comm. "Liv! Livine you answer me right now!"

The voice, though distorted by worry and the electronics, was intensely familiar. "Len?" She asked, her mind only just recognizing him. "Len what's wrong?"

"Liv get your ass to Sick Bay this instant." Len barked.

"Wha?" She asked but her brain had finally caught up with reality and her body was moving without direction. She was up and out of bed and staggering to her dresser before she realized it. She didn't bother with the black undershirt, grabbing her blue uniform shirt and sliding herself into a pair on pants. The shirt went on, she grabbed a pair of boots; and Liv went running, barefooted, down the hall.

It felt as if the turbolift took an eternity but she knew full well it didn't take any less time than usual. But it was still an intense relief when the doors opened and she could haul ass down the corridors to Sick bay. When those large doors whoshed open she almost ran headlong into a Gamma shift Engineer. Checking herself she slid, twisted, and collided with the console section of the nearest biobed instead. Someone lay on the biobed, a crewwoman wearing the blue of a Science officer.

"Talk to me, when did this start?" Liv asked, tossing her boots under her own desk. _Bother with them later._ She thought distantly.

"Just after dinner. I thought it was food poisoning but…" The woman coughed. Her cheeks were flushed.

"Nausea, dizziness, fever, head and body aches?" Liv asked quickly, not wanting the whole drawn out story for once. Already she was typing in the code for the scanning protocol, having ear-marked the unknown virus as what she was searching for.

"Yea." The woman answered before coughing again. Liv checked her ear and realized the woman didn't have a mask.

"Of all the idiotic…" She handed the officer an ion facemask and put one on herself. The computer beeped. Liv glanced at the screen… positive. "Shit." She muttered. "Lay here and rest, hun." Liv ordered. "I've got to see to these folks but we'll get you a private bed as soon as possible."

Liv spun and caught a nurse. "Water for all the patients, now, and then start with IV's. We need them hydrated."

"You have to do the IVs…" Argued a Beta shift nurse.

Liv snarled, spun, and id her best impression of Len, minus the accent. "You listen to me woman." She snarled, "I am busy, very, very busy with these patients. I do not have time for you or any of this bullshit. Get the Gamma shift PA to do the sticks or do them yourself if you think you're qualified. But get it DONE." The woman hesitated. "Do not stand there and dither around, MOVE!" She growled, not loudly but fiercely. The woman leapt to do her bidding and Liv turned to her second patient.

0502 Hours

Len sat heavily in his office chair, head pillowed in his hands. "Good Lord, this is a madhouse." He muttered to himself.

"Yes it is," Liv agreed as she walked into the office, "and you most certainly belong here if you're talking to yourself, Len." She told him, her voice exhausted.

Len's head shot up as anger filled him, how dare she mock him at a time like… But his angry words died on his lips when he saw the helplessness in her bleed-me-blue eyes and the two huge mugs of coffee she held. He took one from her hands gently, cradling it in his, letting the heat of it seep into him. "You sound like the Kid." He muttered before taking a long drink from the slightly too hot coffee.

"Kirk trait," Liv agreed, sitting on his desk. "Sarcasm in the face of fear, worry, and helplessness."

Len snorted into his coffee. _Why can this blasted woman make me smile, even when the world is going to hell? _He wondered, not that he minded. Heck, he probably needed it to keep him sane.

"Final count?" Liv asked after a quiet moment of almost contentedness.

"Sixteen more engineers." Len sighed. "Three science officers."

"Which sections?"

"Botany, xenoarcheology, and xenolinguistics." He answered, wishing to hell his life were nice and simple like in the old days when he was a good, Southern country doctor. _God I miss that._ He thought bitterly.

"Shit," Liv muttered, "no overlap." Clearly she was thinking what he was thinking. "Is there any overlap?" She asked after a minute.

"They all ate something for dinner this evening, about an hour or two before they first showed symptoms." Len answered, letting his head fall back. "But they didn't all eat in the mess."

"Same dinner choice?" Liv asked.

"No." He muttered, rubbing his closed eyes with one hand. God he was tired.

"Defective replicators?" She mused aloud. "Unlikely."

"Why?" Len asked, engineering and the mechanics of replicators were not his thing but he knew Liv was as good as Jimmy was with them.

"It would either be one defective one or an entire system quadrant gone defective, or the whole system. Either way we'd have way less patients who all ate together or tons of patients, more than this."

Len barked a grim little laugh. "More? God we can't handle more. We've got nearly thirty patients total now, almost all of the senior engineering staff and a few choice science officers. And I've got them piled into that isolation ward three to a blasted room in most cases."

He felt her fingers brush across his forehead, sweeping his slightly too long and mussed hair from his eyes. Her touch was warm and delicate, but didn't open his eyes. "We'll figure it out, Len." She murmured. _I wish I had your belief in me._ He thought bitterly. _Because I don't think I can figure this out._

He was failing, and miserably. Johnson and his friend, the original two patients, had both begun hemorrhaging slowly but steadily and he couldn't find the source of the bleeds. Their fingers and toes had begun to turn dusky grey, then blacken as they didn't get enough blood and started to die. He'd have to amputate soon or the crewmen would get infections secondary to the primary virus that would kill them before the virus could. And the eight after them, those who had come in only five days before, were all showing the eyes turned red from burst capillaries, their fevers were rising. Len knew the seizures would start soon. _They're all going to die…_

2259 – May 7th 1945 Hours

Liv fought the urge to scream as she fought what she knew was the inevitable. Nothing could save Johnson, not now, maybe not even from the beginning. But she was damned well going to try. He coughed, well… less of a cough and more of an involuntary contraction as he attempted and failed to breathe. His blood sprayed everywhere as he exhaled it, carried by his attempts to breathe.

It landed on Liv; she was the closest. It would have hit her face but the ion mask incinerated it as it passed the barrier. It became a nasty, sickly sweet smelling burned mist. Biologically harmless but disgusting as hell. Still not all of her had such protection. The blood splattered against her as he continued to try to breathe, his body fighting the death that had to be coming.

His hands and feet were finger and toe less, they'd been amputated lest he die of infection, but they were also dusky black-grey, rotting from the inside out. He smelled foul. Aside from the smell of sick person – a smell of sweat and a little harmless decay and disinfectant- he smelled like rot, the scent emanating from the hands and feet that would have to come off as soon as possible, should he survive, and like blood, like lots and lots of blood.

His skin was pale, his features sunken. He looked almost like a zombie from the tacky horror vids from the early twenty first century. His muscle and fat had been eaten away by the fever, utilized by his body for their energy to keep him alive and fighting.

A hypo of clotting agent to stem the bleeding, which she knew wouldn't work, was shoved to her. She found a place on his shoulder as he seized and pressed it into his system. It had no effect. He continued to bleed. Blood ran from his nose, his ears, even his eyes. She blood that sprayed from his mouth couldn't all be from his lungs, though most of it probably was. Some of it was probably from his gums and tongue, bleeding from burst capillaries just at the surface.

A shrill flat sound filled the air, the seizing stopped, for a moment no one did anything. "Time of Death," Len said in a hallow, dead voice, "1952 Hours." He turned on his heel, his hand catching her elbow, and started from the room, her in tow. She didn't fight him, didn't want to.

"DOCTOR MCCOY!" Came a shrill yell from the room one door down. "Doctor MCCOY he's seizing!" Len released her and skidded to the next room. Liv followed, the numb feeling in her chest leaving her almost emotionless as she skidded into the room to see blood, so very much blood.

_God no, not again._ She thought before the swell of adrenaline took away all ability to think and left her only able to _react_.

2103 Hours

Liv felt dead inside as she and Len wandered into his office. Two patients dead… two in ten minutes of each other. …and how they died… It made Liv sick just to think about, and she was a tough woman. She felt disgusting, which she probably was…

Len fell into his chair and spun to look at her. She watched as his eyes focused on her rather rapidly and his expression darkened. "Good Lord," he muttered.

Liv spun to look at herself in the reflection of the glass wall. Her stomach turned. "Oh God." She whispered. She turned and fled to the nearest sink (there were a few even though it was a little archaic having them in a Sick Bay). She tried to turn on the water but her hands shook.

Len stilled Liv's hands with his, feeling them quake under his touch. "Easy, darlin'" He told her gently, wetting a towel. "I'll get it." How he couldn't have noticed he didn't know, he could only blame the frantic air of the last hour or so. Her face was pink-red with blood. The ion face mask had burned away the viruses and contaminants in the blood, and vaporized it, but it had still covered her face in a fine mist.

Taking her chin, Len began wiping the blood away. It was stupid how easily the action made him feel better. It probably had to do with his need to fix things, to make things better (which was both in his nature and because of him being a man); and that Liv immediately calmed. It felt good to fix something, even something so trivial.

Also it felt good to be close to her, to be touching her in an intimate way, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted. "All better." He murmured when he'd cleaned all the blood from her pale face.

She opened her eyes, _When did she close them?_, and looked up at him. "Thanks." She said, just as softly as he had. She didn't pull away from his touch.

_Just one kiss…_ A soft part of his mind whispered._ No Len, walk away._ He told himself sternly. He did, however, let his fingers caress her face before he released her and stepped back. "Go to bed, Liv. I imagine tomorrow will be as awful as today when we explain to the others that the first two are dead."

To his surprise Liv didn't argue, she just nodded and walked out of Sick Bay quietly. _Poor darlin' is numb._ He thought before realizing with a little flash of irony, _but I am too._

2259 – May 8th 0839 Hours

Len gulped down the hot coffee, ignoring as it burned his tongue a little. He'd hardly slept and he needed the caffeine desperately. The two autopsies he'd done after sending Liv to bed had given him nothing. The two crewmen had died, as he'd suspected, of severe and sudden hemorrhaging complicated by sepsis due to acute necrosis of the lower extremities. _They bled to death internally and if they hadn't they'd of died of infection due to their dying hands and feet…_ What was worse was that internally they'd looked like a bomb had gone off in their chest cavities, everything had been turned to pulp.

Liv walked in, looking not quite as exhausted as he felt, but pretty damn close. "You didn't sleep last night, did ya?" He asked her sternly.

She smiled at him wanly, it looked out of place on her features. He didn't like her looking saddened. "A bit. I fell asleep by 0200 hours I think." She handed him a PADD. "Look, I think I figured it out."

Len bit back a surprised remark and took the PADD. On it was the image of their virus and an image of a very dissimilar virus. "Liv…" he said slowly, "darlin' I think you need a bit more sleep." _These don't look a thing alike…_

Liv rolled her blue eyes and he saw a quick spark of her temper and amusement. "Haha Len. I know they're not the same. Look at the protein coating on them, not their structure."

Len did as she said, dubious but humoring his PA even though he didn't really hand the time. He nearly choked on his coffee when he saw what she had seen. He managed to swallow, not inhale, the mouthful of burning liquid. "And this virus is…?"

"Drosophila Nora virus," Liv said, her hand waving in dismissal, "but clearly that's not important. What is important is that it's only known transmission is through ingestion."

Even though identifying transmission was a damned good thing his stomach clenched and his heart almost stopped. "But… Liv. This means that they all should have shared some food type or replicator."

Liv shook her head. "Len… think less accidental and mundane."

He didn't want to think about it, didn't even want to acknowledge the fact. _No,_ he argued with himself, though he knew she was probably right. _No, no one on this crew would do such a thing… No one would deliberately infect all these people._

"It's not an accident. Someone is deliberately doing this." He murmured, horrified. He shut down the image in the PADD. "Call Jim, get him here. This goes beyond us now."

Liv nodded and went to call Jim.

Jim couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're both insane." He argued, though he knew that the two best medical minds on the ship couldn't both be wrong. "It's just not possible."

"Captain," Spock, who sat beside him, interjected, "It is the most logical explanation. However unlikely or distasteful you might find it."

Jim glared at his friend and Second. "Are you sure?" He asked Liv and Len. It was disturbing the expression on their faces. It was identical. A blend of horror, disgust, shock, and resignation.

"Damn it kid," Bones growled at him.

"Yes, Jimmy." Liv snapped at the same moment. "We wouldn't have told you unless we were sure." Between Bone's snarky response and Liv's use of his nickname his world righted itself though it was falling to pieces. _It's sort of pathetic how reliant on them I am._ He thought dimly.

"Well shit…" He muttered, resigning himself to the fact one of his crew was killing the others. "So… who's the prime suspect?"

The sick Bay doors whooshed open and Jim turned to see who was interrupting. "One of them," Liv murmured as Jim recognized the three. Scotty strode in, flanked by Lily and Laura.

_No._ Jim thought though he knew his twin was probably right. _No, not one of them…_


	25. Promises We Wish We Could Keep

2259 – May 9th 1335 Hours

Liv scowled at the overhead comm. as Jim's voice filled the ship. "I would like to request that every crewmember eats only prepackaged, emergency meals from here on out. We will solve the problem at hand but until then every precaution should be taken. Thank you."

"Too little, too late you ass." She muttered at her twin.

"Liwine, will I be alwight?" Pavel asked her from the biobed, his pale face twisted by a look of barely contained terror. "You will sawe me, yes?"

She smiled and brushed his curls from his forehead. "Of course I will kiddo. You've still got to explain to me how the Russian's invented soccer."

He smiled a wan but sweet little smile. "Eet's footbawl, Liwine." He corrected her as he always did when she called the sport by the old American term.

_God he's such a great kid._ She thought as she smiled a little more. "Sure it is, Pavel." She teased. "You're not contagious so you can go to your quarters for the next few days but I'll be checking on you every few hours, okay?" His face fell again and Liv wished she hadn't had to bring it back up, but she had other patients to see, to conform they, too, were dying. "Hey," she teased, tapping his frown, "no worries. I'm not letting you go anytime soon kiddo. I've always wanted a little brother, ya know."

His pretty blue eyes, like her own but paler, brightened. She'd never called him the term to his face before, but she'd been thinking of him in such a way for a few months… since her birthday. "You mean it, Liwine?" he asked in a very soft voice.

_Does he have no one?_ She wondered, _is he as alone as Jim and I or is he just separated from them?_ Still she kissed his forehead in a maternal or sisterly way and swatted the back of his head. "Duh I mean it kid, now get your adorable ass to bed."

He stood up, a little shakily but he refused her arm when she offered it, and left the Sick Bay. "I mean it!" she yelled at his back. "Bed rest, don't you pull a 'Jim' and ignore my orders, ya hear me?" He turned and shot her a smile as the door whooshed shut behind him.

"You can't promise than, Liv." Len muttered to her as she passed him, heading to the next crewman complaining of nausea, dizziness, and a mild fever after lunch.

"I just did." She snapped back softly, turning to glare at his green eyes. But they were soft with understanding, not disapproval, so she softened her tone. "I'm not letting that boy die, Len. I WILL save him, even if it kills me."

She turned back to her fourth new patient, of the ten, and smiled charmingly. No sense in frightening them, everyone already knew the first two were dead and more were on the way.

May 10th 1519 Hours

Liv scowled at Len from over Crewwoman Hacker's body. "The others looked like this?" She asked in a soft growl of a voice.

"Yes Liv, they did." Len answered. His eyes narrowed as he realized what she was thinking. "Liv it's not possible. Hemorrhagic Small Pox has been extinct for centuries!"

"It was kept alive in biochemical facilities as a potential biological weapon, Len. You know that as well as I do!" She snapped back, bringing her hand down on the tools table beside her, rattling the instruments on the metal table and making her hand ache.

"It kills in four days Livine! This took two weeks! And it's the most contagious pathogen known to modern science." Len argued.

Liv scowled. "Have you ever seen the vids of what this does? Of the autopsies?" She asked angrily. _How DARE he keep this from me! We could have known days ago what this was if he'd just been sensible!_

"No, but Livine would you listen to me? Why would anyone make Small Pox food-born and food-born only? And how would anyone get their hands on it?" Len set down the scalpel and had soothed his voice, clearly trying to calm her down some…

Liv ignored him and went to the console. She pulled up her own vids from her computer via wireless access. "I did a study of biological weapons as a student. This is a perfect weapon, Len." She pulled up a particularly vivid vid file. "Just look."

It was almost satisfying to watch his face contort into looks of horror, shock, and then resignation. "Let me prove it." She begged. "Please. You took me off identification days ago. Put me back, let me show you. I've finally dug up some restricted files."

His mouth pressed into a fine line behind the ion mask. "Damn you woman." He said, annoyed but resigned. "Fine, fine! Get. Go chase that white whale of yours!"

She smiled and closed down the access to her computer files before blowing Len a kiss and dashing from the room. At the door she hesitated and turned back, grinning. "And Len, this isn't a white whale. Yours is the only 'dick' I think about!" She whirled around before the rampant blush could become too visible and ran before he could come up with a come back. _OH my GOD! I cannot believe I just SAID that!_ She yelled at herself.

Had she hung back for a moment she'd of heard the hearty, hoarse, roar of a laugh that echoed through the autopsy room, followed by the words, "She'll be the death of me, I swear."

2356 Hours

Len answered the ringing at his door only moments after it had started. He hadn't been asleep yet, he hadn't dared. Someone else could come in sick or one of his current patients could take a turn for the worse. Every time he'd closed his eyes he'd imagined an emergent call over the comm. Sleep was eluding him.

Liv stood in his doorway, her arms laden with PADDs. Her hair was mussed, like she'd been tugging on it or running her hands through it, her beautiful eyes had huge dark rings under them, and she was so pale. But her lips were pulled back in a triumphant grin.

"I've got it." She said simply. "I've _got _it!" She pushed past him, clearly ignoring the fact he was wearing only night pants and a loose tee, and walked straight to his chairs and coffee table. Len headed straight to the replicator but checked himself, when he remembered that the replicators had been disabled.

He turned back to the coffee table and had to grin a little. Liv had been hiding a travel thermos and two plastic mugs in her pile of PADDs. He settled down beside her and helped himself to the coffee, pouring it into both mugs and setting one in front of her. She nodded absently in thanks, hardly paying attention as she flipped through PADDs. Finally she handed him one… well thrust it into hand hands.

"That is documentation on the London Defense Labs. They had a strain of Hemorrhagic Small Pox set aside for weaponizing. They're the only lab I would find that had it and didn't have proof of it's destruction at the end of the twenty first century when all bio-weaponry was supposed to be destroyed."

Liv spoke quickly, almost too fast to follow. But Len was used to Jim and his tirades so he was one of the few who could have possibly followed her mini speech. He looked at the PADD but decided to take her word for it.

Liv thrust another at him as he set it aside. "THAT is proof that the LDL fell into the hands of British terrorists that were against the creation of a truly powerful Global Political system in the early twenty second century. They never used what they had though as their leader died before they could and they dissolved into rivaling families vying for control and power."

Len set the PADD aside, and took a swallow of the coffee. "This proves nothing Liv." He said simply, if a little sternly. It was late and at least she should sleep…

"But THIS does." She thrust yet another PADD at him. "THAT is information that, could it be tracked to me, might get me killed. That is what I hacked from LDL's still running computers."

Len hesitated. "Still running computers?" He asked. _If they'd been shut down, like the official paperwork claims then the computers should have been decommissioned and the data destroyed…_

Liv nodded, her expression grim. "Look at the file 00203." Len did as she bid and nearly dropped his coffee. The exact virus he'd found in his patients glowed up at him from the screen. "That is the weaponized form of Hemorrhagic Small Pox, attempt 243." Len read through the information that was below the picture. It listed the symptoms and transmission vectors.

"It's an exact match." He murmured. "Good Lord, you're right." He shut down the file, filled with disgust, and looked up at her. "Tell me they created a cure."

Liv shook her head. "Not a viable one." She waved another two PADDs at him but didn't hand them over. "This is the data on their failed antidotes. There are actually a few promising ones, I think."

Len felt a wave of relief so powerful he had to relax back into his chair. "So we might stand a chance." He said softly. "Thank the Lord." He leaned forward, caught Liv's arms, and drew her to him. He kissed her forehead. "Woman I don't know what I'd do without you." He said, driven by his relief.

She smiled cheekily at him as he released her. "Go insane and kill everyone yourself?"

"Naw," he murmured, "just Jim." He hesitated and then added, "and Spock." And a moment later, after a little more thought he added, "And the beta and gamma shift doctors, and their PA's…" Liv just grinned. "Go to bed. "He scolded. "We've got to get started on this tomorrow, bright and early."

She yawned and nodded, leaving the PADDs with him, which was exactly what he wanted. "Okay, but I'm going to check on Pavel on my way." Len didn't argue, knowing she'd just disobey him if he told her not to. _Yet another Kirk trait, selective hearing when it comes to orders, no matter the source._

Liv slid into Pavel's rooms. His one roommate was in the isolation rooms in Sick Bay, having been one of the second group to fall ill, just at the end of April, so she didn't have to stay quiet for the sake of anyone but her younger friend. She settled onto the edge of his lower bunk and brushed the tangled, sweat matted curls from his forehead. "Don't worry Pavel." She whispered. "I'm going to save you. We've figured it out, we know what it is now."

"Liwie?" He croaked, his eyes opening a little to peer up at her in the near blackness.

"Yea, it's me Pavel." She said gently.

"I am so cold." He complained, softly, shivering. It was a normal sign of a fever so it didn't worry Liv much. He wasn't worsening yet. "Stay wif me?" He asked.

Were he anyone else, except Jim, Liv would have slid to a chair or made an excuse; instead she slid to lay beside the boy who was about her height. He cuddled to her and she allowed it. "You'll be alright." She promised again. "I know what it is, and I'm going to make you a cure."

"I beliewe in you." He whispered before he dropped back off to sleep.

_An extinct and genetically altered virus that is lethal to all but maybe 1% of those infected. With no cure, no vaccine, and a crewman on board deliberately making others sick… And I'm promising you a cure._ She sighed and put her chin on the top of his head. _At least one of us really believes in me._ She thought pessimistically.

May 12th 0659 Hours

Liv walked into the bioengineering lab earlier than Len expected. In her hands she carried two huge mugs of coffee but her lips were compressed into a fine, fine line. "Somethin' wrong darlin'?" He asked gently, taking the mug she offered him.

"Pavel." She answered, turning her back to him to stare at the chemical equation of a possible cure for the virus.

Len didn't press. The boy had been sick for four days. Liv's distress was probably stemmed from the boy's eyes turning red as the small vessels burst. He walked closer to her and tapped the formula. "I still think this could be better. I don't think it'll bind to the virus."

Liv shrugged. "You're probably right." Her enthusiasm at having finally identified the disease (and proving him wrong) had dried up, leaving her as snarky as he was. They were both feeling the strain of the pressure they were under.

Len walked from her side to the culture dishes in a growth chamber. He eyed them, hoping one might show a change, that one of the synthetic antibodies was working. There were no changes from the day before. With a huff he turned and looked at Liv.

The bags under her eyes were darker than he'd ever seen them, they looked like bruises though he knew better. She was pale, looking more delicate than usual, and she'd stopped bothering with make-up. He still thought she was beautiful, she always would be to him, but he knew she was running herself ragged. And he knew he was little better.

_Four hours of sleep last night. Less the night Liv showed me all that data. There's just so much to go through. It took them months to rule out the few dozen cures LDL created. We have less than two weeks or everyone who's currently sick will be dead and God knows how many more will be on the way._

Liv frowned at the equation, took a dry-erase marker, and drew another bond between a pair of atoms. She nodded to herself and her eyes drifted to another part of the molecule. The doors whooshed open.

Len looked up to see Jim walk in. He looked nearly as bad as Liv. "Nothing on the background checks for either Laura, Lily, or Scotty. Problem is all of them are from the UK area so they all had access."

Liv huffed but said nothing. Len knew she was just frustrated, frustrated that nothing was changing, that there was no movement, and that as each day passed she got closer and closer to having failed Pavel. _No,_ He thought,_ the closer WE've come to failing that kid._

Jim opened his mouth to say more when the comm. interrupted him. "Doctor McCoy, Liv, to Sick Bay immediately." Chapel's voice ordered sharply.

Liv closed her eyes in desperation. "Not another one." She whispered as they took of at a run, leaving their coffee and locking the room with the EMCs. No one was getting in there.

They reached Sick Bay only a minute later, they were on the same level just the other side of the ship. Jim, being the fittest of the three of them, was the first to reach the doors. Of course the kid also stopped as soon as he entered Sick Bay, making Liv turn suddenly to miss running into him. Len was less lucky. He collided with the back of his Captain and friend with an 'oof'.

Len shoved the younger man and glared. "Don't do that you idiot." He informed his friend with a very superior tone. Then he looked to see what had shocked the Captain so much.

"'Ello." Scotty said with a little wave from the biobed. "Yeh can't keep me," he babbled before Len could get to examine him. "I'm here 'cause Galia begged. I'm fine and Engineering is understaffed as it is…" He stood up but wavered.

Len caught him and then bodily pushed him back onto the biobed. "Sit your ass down, Mr. Scott, and let me take a look at you."

"I'm not staying in my room like an invalid. I can work like this." He argued, struggling. "Knowing I'm dying won't fix anything."

Len growled wordlessly at his friend and drinking buddy, trying to think of something to say that would make the stubborn man stay.

"Wha? Ouch!" Scotty swatted at a pale, thin hand holding a hypospray before he slumped backward, onto the biobed, unconscious.

Len looked at Liv who shrugged. "Works for you with Jimmy. I thought I'd give it a try."

Jim laughed from behind them, it sounded bitter to Len, but a laugh none-the-less. "Liv you've been around him too long."

Len remembered his ex-wife saying something similar, though he had to clue why the memory chose _that_ moment to surface. _"Len, when we first met I loved you. But I've been around you too long, now I know better."_

Liv sniffed. "I'm not so sure there is an amount of time that would be too long to be around Len, Jimmy." Len's heart felt a little lighter. "Go back to the bridge and try to keep this ship afloat until we get Scotty back onto his feet." Ignoring his emotional fickleness Len focused on the task at hand, Scotty.

May 13th 2345 Hours

Liv was exhausted. Her whole body was all but shaking with caffeine withdrawls and her head ached. _I really should sleep more._ She thought to herself absently, uncaringly. She knew she wouldn't, not until she found a cure, not until Pavel, Scotty, and all the others were well on their way to being perfectly healthy again. _Eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or when I do finish this, then I'll sleep for a week._ After all, how could she even think of sleeping? Three of the engineers had died the day before and two over the course of the current day. Five dead in less than forty eight hours… _Those who are in less than perfect shape, especially the older patients, are dying faster, their bodies can't handle it._

A soft sound on her right almost didn't register, a monotonous beeping. An alarm. Not to wake someone up but to say a grate was open to the plasma conduits crawl space. _Huh._ She thought. _No one's supposed to be playing with those tonight…_ If fact no one was supposed to be playing with the energy system until the whole mess was sorted out and everyone was healthy again, on the off chance the Sick Bay lost power thanks to an error when it needed it the most.

_I'll just tell them to get their asses back to bed. _She thought, opening the door that the sound was coming from, using Jimmy's codes. It opened to the shared quarters of three women. No one was in sight but it was obvious it belonged to women because it was cleaner than any three men could keep it. _Why is someone mucking about in power conduit crawl spaces in the middle of the night, and accessing said conduits from their bedroom?_

Something about the whole situation made the hairs on the back on Liv's neck stand on end. It wasn't right. The sleepiness that had clouded her mind burned off with the fire of her adrenaline. _Something is wrong here._

So, being a Kirk, Liv did what any good Kirk would do in the situation; poke around to see what was what. She started on the far bunk. Like all three person rooms each bed was lofted and a small personal desk and chair sat under the bunk. Nothing amiss, bed made… She began rifling through the drawers at the foot of the bunk.

_Nothing._

She moved on. The bunk in the middle of the room was just as well-made and unused. _Why are the beds not slept in? Where are these women?_ Liv wondered. The items on the desk gave no indication as to who was supposed to sleep there, it was regulation neat, with no personal touches, not even pictures. There was nothing to be found. No locked drawers, no hidden catches… _Nothing._

Liv turned to the last bunk. It was un-made, it looked like someone slept in it for a bit before going on the little crawl-about around the ship. The grate that belonged in the ceiling lay on the bed's covers. _But is it worth checking?_ She wondered. _I've found nothing suspicious so far… I'm digging through someone's privacy…_

She remembered the once pale blue, now blood red eyes that had peered out at her from a pale, sweat-covered face. Pavel was on the line. Was someone's privacy, should this be an innocent lovers tryst or something similar, worth Pavel's life? _No._

Liv headed to the desk first. The PADDs were regulation, they had engineering data on them. The top drawer was unlocked and stuffed with a paper notebook and pencils. _Old fashioned much?_ It looked like a diary. _So NOT going there unless I find something else._ Liv thought a little guiltily. The second drawer had personal PADDs, books, letters from friends and family, a box of chocolates hidden under the PADDs.

Liv tried the third drawer. It opened with no effort. _Empty._

She moved to the dresser. Nothing but clothing. _I'm paranoid._ Liv thought as she stood and turned. At the door she hesitated. _That third drawer… something was off about it._ Turning back Liv opened it again. Empty, still. Undeterred Liv went to the middle bunk's desk and opened the bottom drawer. It wasn't empty. _Why does this look larger?_ Liv wondered. _HA! Brilliant, a false bottom!_ There was a scraping sound and a soft thump from behind her.

Whirling around Liv came face to face with… Lily. The pretty, young Englishwoman held in her hand a spray can. Her eyes widened as they recognized Liv and her face twisted into a scowl. "Damn it Liv, couldn't you just leave well enough alone?"

Before Liv's mind could quite reconcile that Lily - sweet, kind Lily - was the person infecting and KILLING crewmembers, Lily punched her in the stomach, sending her stumbling backward, into the middle bunk.

Her head hit the wood and her field of vision exploded into stars. Liv stumbled to her feet. "Lily no!"

But Lily had already pulled open her lowest desk drawer and removed the false bottom. Liv lunged forward, wondering what the girl was going for in the desk, she was too low rank to have a personal phaser. Lily turned just as Liv reached her and Liv felt a sharp, painful pressure in her stomach. She glanced down. A needle had pushed through her shirt and stuck into her stomach. The archaic syringe plunger was pushed all the way in.

Liv hit Lily's jaw with a right hook hard enough to make her own hand crack as bone snapped. Lily reeled. "What the FUCK was that?!" Liv yelled, pulling the needle out with her left hand lest it be broken off into her in the scuffle.

"What do you think?" Lily asked, laughing. "Ingestion is the only means of transmission, unless you get it injected directly into you."

Liv threw another punch, an upper cut. "Computer, place and emergency call to Captain Kirk and…" Lily kicked her stomach and Liv faltered, the wind knocked out of her. "Doctor McCoy." She stammered, drawing a pained breath. "They need to get to my location, NOW!"

Liv caught sight of Lily lunging at her just in the nick of time. She twisted away and felt a burning across her back, one she knew all too well. Turning Liv saw that her blood gleamed off a shining blade in Lily's hands.

"The Pox and a knife?" Liv panted. "Overkill much?"

Lily didn't answer, she just lunged again. Liv caught her wrists and they grappled, fighting over control of the blade. Lily knocked Liv's legs out from under her but Liv pulled her down too, rolling and twisting Lily's hands as she did.

In a split second Lily cried out as her wrists snapped and her back his the floor. And then she was oddly silent and still. Liv looked down and realized she held the knife in her hands, the blade was imbedded in Lily's chest. The doors whooshed open.

"LIV!" Len's voice was incredibly welcome and two pairs of hands pulled her up, off Lily's either dead or dying body. "Darlin' you idiot!" He snapped at her, holding her to his chest ad Jim checked Lily.

"Don't bother," Liv muttered to her twin, "she's dead."

"Better her than you." Len growled, his arms tightened around her. "You're an idiot, you should have called for help immediately!"

Liv snorted. "Her drawer, check her drawer," she pointed at it since Len didn't seem inclined to let go of her.

Jim did and lifted out four more aerosol cans and two bags of a pale yellow liquid. "What the hell?" Jim muttered.

Len released Liv and took the bags from Jim. "Vaccine," He breathed, the worry lines on his face easing, "Thank the Lord. There's a vaccine."

"But no cure," Liv murmured, realization hitting her. _I'm going to die… oh God. I'm dead._

"With a vaccine we can prevent more from getting sick though." Jim sighed. "Just incase she wasn't working alone."

"Jim," Liv muttered, another light bulb going off in her head as the adrenaline slowly fled her body. "Jim make a crew wide call, no one eats or drinks anything, even if they made or poured it recently. She had an empty can."

Jim nodded and went running out of the room, probably heading for the comm. console in the hall. Liv swayed on her feet. As the rest of the adrenaline burned off her body began to give out. "Liv?" Len asked, his warm hand catching her elbow.

"Just tired." She lied.

She could see his eyes narrow at her, focusing on her face. "You're pale, darlin'. Why are you so pale?" Liv said nothing, but her eyes – of their own volition – focused on the syringe that lay on the floor, kicked aside in the scuffle. Len must have followed her gaze because moments later he'd released her and scooped it up.

"No!" Liv gasped. "Len careful! It's the virus."

He spun to look at her quickly just as the door whooshed open. "Who was injected?" He asked in a deadly whisper. Liv said nothing as a wave of dizziness hit her. "WHO was injected?!" Len yelled, making her jump.

Finally she lifted her eyes to his. He wasn't angry, she knew he wasn't angry, he was worried. "Me," she whispered, "she infected me." And then the world, which had fallen completely out of focus, went black.


	26. Never Back Down

2259 – May 14th 0700 Hours

Len had every medical staff working to vaccinate the entire crew. They were almost finished, having been working for hours, but it did little to make him feel better. _Liv, God my Liv._ He couldn't focus, his mind kept wandering back to the pale, blonde woman who lay on a moveable biobed in his office. She'd not woken yet, though her brain scans said she was sleeping, not unconscious or in a coma. But the simple knowledge that HIS Liv was infected had a devastating effect on his mood.

"So what's the final count?" Jim asked, walking into Sick Bay, looking at the line of people waiting for vaccination.

"Replicating the vaccine was easy, we'll be done within the hour." Len answered, hardly paying attention. "We have eight dead and thirty sick."

"How's my sister?" Jim asked softly. Len glanced at his friend and saw how pale the Captain looked.

"As well as can be expected. She's still sleeping." He answered, wishing he could give his friend some consolation.

"No she's not." Came a hoarse, dry voice from behind them. Len and Jim spun, eyes wide. Liv smiled a broken smile at them. "Hey." She was pale, a little sweaty (probably from the fever), but aside from that she looked fine. "So what's the verdict?"

"You're infected with the same virus as everyone else." Len murmured, wanting to reach out and hold her but keeping himself in check.

Liv nodded. "Okay, so I've got four days or so of usefulness." She rolled her shoulders. "Let's get cracking. Time to solve this bitch."

Liv didn't feel the bravo she was attempting to show. She wanted to curl up and cry, mourn her certain death. _I give up now, _she scolded herself, _and I WILL die. My only hope is to help Len find a cure in time._

"Liv," Len argued, his voice stern and firm.

"No." She snapped, cutting him off. _Please, _she begged though she was too proud to say it aloud, _please don't make me sit around and wait for death._ "Len you listen to me. I am going to fight this. I am going to help you find the cure, and when we're done you can scold me for ignoring Doctor's orders. But if I'm dead you can't tell me off."

His lips quirked into an expression that wasn't a grin but it wasn't a frown. "I was going to say you needed to shower and pull on clean clothes."

Sheepishly Liv dropped her eyes from his. "Oh." She nodded, realizing she hadn't changed for over 24 hours. "Okay." She nodded. "See you in half an hour in the biomedical lab." She turned on her heel and walked out. Jimmy followed her.

As soon as they were out of sight of everyone else, safely in her rooms, Jim pulled her into a tight hug. "Liv," he whispered, his voice cracking, "Fuck Livie I'm so sorry." Liv shook her head, trying to dismiss whatever he was apologizing for, but Jim barreled on. "I knew Lily and Pavel had broken up. Chris told me Lily seemed to want revenge. But… I couldn't imagine she'd do this!" He caught her chin and made her look up, into his face. He was crying, tears running freely down his pale face. "You're going to solve this, you and Bones. You're going to be fine." It sounded to Liv as if he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Liv pulled on what little fake bravo she had left in her and smiled cheekily. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Jimmy." She assured him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Now go away and let me shower."

It was as if all he needed was to hear her say it. Jimmy brightened, his cheeks gained some color, and he smiled a watery smile. "Yea, okay." He kissed her forehead and left the room. It was only when she was safely in the shower, the hot water beating down on her, that Liv let herself breakdown.

_I'm so sorry Jimmy._ She thought, leaning against the glass and crying, her whole body wracked by sobs. _I'm sorry I lied to you._ There was no doubt in her mind that she would die. Hemorrhagic Small Pox was deadly to all but 5% of the general population centuries ago, when an immunity was selectively advantageous. There was no hope she would survive unless she found a cure in time.

_Pavel believes in you._ Whispered a nasty little voice in her mind. _You said you'd cure him or die trying. Now you really have to, cure him – and thus yourself – or die._

"Pavel," she whispered. _I won't fail him. I can't. And I can't leave Jimmy. He needs me as much as I need him. _She didn't want to think about what would happen to him if she died. _He turned into a regular thug when I left for school, and I was only a day's transport away._

"No," she whispered to herself, forcing back the tears and making herself stand up, ignoring the aches and dizziness. "I won't let Jimmy or Pavel down. I survived Sam and Frank, I can survive Small Pox."

1956 Hours

Len looked at yet another body. "Incinerate her, Nurse. We'll keep her remains for her family, just like everyone else."

Chapel nodded. "Yes doctor." She whispered. Len turned but hesitated when Christine asked, "How's Liv?"

He glanced over his shoulder at the distraught looking nurse. "She's holding it together." He answered. She couldn't open the tightly closed vials due to the weakness. She had dizzy spells, her stomach was queasy, she could hardly keep any food down; but she was determined. "She's in the biolab, trying to figure this out."

"Does… does she have a chance?" Christine whispered.

_No._ Len's honest, logical side answered. _YES! _His emotionally driven half retorted. _My Liv is going to beat this._ But there was no rationality to that thought. Just because she was his, which she really wasn't, didn't mean she would survive when others would not. "I don't know." He answered honestly. "I hope so." He left before she asked another question he didn't have an answer for.

Liv looked up at him as he entered the biolab. Spock stood beside her, dry erase pen in his hand. "Spock had a thought." Liv explained, probably seeing his glare toward the damned Vulcan.

"It better be a good one. We don't have time to waste." He growled.

"How's Pavel?" Liv asked softly. Len had made the boy move into an isolation room to be closer to the medical staff.

"Seizures have started." He answered honestly, wishing he could lie to protect her. "He's weakening; but he's staying positive, he's got hope."

Liv nodded. "No one told him it was Lily?" She asked, dropping onto a stool as her face paled suddenly.

Len fought the urge to steady her himself, knowing she'd yell at him. "No. I gave strict orders not to even think about it around the boy."

She leaned back against the counter, closing her eyes. He itched to touch her, reassure himself she was alright even though he knew she wasn't. "Good. I don't think he'd handle it well."

"I believe," Spock interrupted, placing the marker beside Liv on the counter, "that this chemical structure shall help bind to the virus more efficiently than the previous one."

Len looked it over and felt a grudging flash of respect. _Damn… he might be right._

2259 – May 15th Sometime after noon

Len glared at the cultures. "Nothing?" Liv asked, interpreting his silence correctly.

"Nothin'." He affirmed, throwing the cultures into the biohazard container. "FUCK!" He yelled, letting himself have a brief moment of temper.

Small, too warm hands curled around his wrists. Liv made him turn toward her and wrapped her feverish arms around his waist, hugging him. "We'll get it." She promised. "We'll figure it out Len."

He tightened his arms around her, startled and relieved that she would approach him when he was in a temper, despite their friendship. _She's the one dying and still she's keeping ME cool. _He pressed his lips to the top of her head and let himself go for just a moment. _What will I do without you? _He wondered, realizing just how much he relied on her, just how much she meant to him. If she died in two weeks it would make his whole life implode. Jocelyn had thrown him for a loop when she left him. _Suppose this is what it really means to be in love._ He thought. _Sure I loved Jocelyn… but never like this._

_So don't fail her._ Whispered the dark part of his soul that would kill to protect what he considered his own. He kissed her hair, feeling her tense a little, and let her go. "Let's get back to it." He murmured, turning his back on her, driven by the black fire in his gut.

1957 Hours

Liv glanced up at Len from across the small table in his quarters. She'd never had dinner with him in such a personal setting. Sure, she'd been in his quarters quite a few times but it felt… different. _Well I am dying,_ she thought bitterly.

But as soon as the thought crossed her mind she knew it wasn't true. There was something between them that was good… warm… right. _He didn't mean what he said. He's interested but we're all wrong. He's six years my senior for Christ's sakes… He's the dad of the kid I nannied for._ She knew that didn't matter though.

"You talked to Joey recently?" She asked, following that little side-tangent from her current thoughts, which were dangerous to consider.

Len shook his head. His hair was getting a little long and it swished closer to his eyebrows than usual. His brow furrowed and he brushed it absently aside. Liv fought a small smile. "Been too busy with the virus. But I talked to her the day it all started to break loose so she knows I'm just busy."

Liv nodded. "Good. So she doesn't know I'm sick. She's not worrying." Len's eyes darkened but he said nothing. She shrugged. "I don't want her worrying too, Len, you do enough for the two of you combined."

His eyes narrowed. "You don't seem to be doing enough."

Liv bit back a bitter snort. _You don't know the half of it._ She thought bitterly. _I'm on my deathbed, I am a dead woman walking, and I can't STOP worrying about it. I'm just trying to play it cool._ "You're worrying enough for me as well." She teased instead. "So let's not talk shop, okay?"

"Liv," he interrupted, annoying the hell out of her. "Another three patients died today. That's twelve total, and some are dying in less than a week, some are dying in ten days. We can't afford not to talk shop. We're on a deadline, literally!"

She didn't let him get a rise out of her. "So, read any good books lately or is it all medical journals for you?" She leaned back in her chair, ignoring the twinge of pain she felt along her back. _Stupid aches and pains._ "I hardly know a thing about you, just that you love your daughter and your horses."

"We have to talk shop, Liv." He pulled out a PADD. "We can get to know each other better later."

_Alright, this is clearly not working._ She thought annoyed. "I'm going to go visit Pavel. You keep working if you insist." With that she stood up and stalked out of the room, attempting to embody righteous indignation. She had a feeling it looked more like a sulk.

Pavel looked awful when she reached his room. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, his skin was flushed, his lips chapped, his eyes – when he opened them – blood red. "Hey man." She whispered, walking into the room and sitting beside him.

"Liwie." He greeted, his voice cracking.

"Here," she murmured, "let me." She grabbed a glass of water and gently sat him up. Bracing his burning hot back against her chest she carefully helped him sip the water. His lips cracked and bled. She wiped it up.

"Am I awful?" He asked, tipping his head back against her shoulder.

"No." She lied smoothly, smiling down at the boy she considered a brother. "No you look great." _Oh God, _she thought, _Oh God he's getting worse faster than the others. Oh God, he might just die…_

"You…" he cleared his throat, "look pale." He tried to reach out to her, to touch her face (or so she thought) but he was too weak. He managed to raise his arm a few inches off the bed and hold it there, trembling, for a moment before dropping it back onto her thigh.

Liv laced her fingers with his. "I'm not getting enough sleep, Pasha." She said softly, using the nickname she'd heard Chris call the boy. "Don't you worry about me, just hold on until I can make you better." She smiled teasingly. "We've got your eighteenth to celebrate, remember?"

He smiled weakly, his eyes drooping. "Yes, my bwirthday. I will bee legal."

"Not like that's stopped you." She teased.

"Mmm," he mumbled, his eyes falling completely closed and his breathing evening out.

Liv glanced up at the nurse as he walked in a minute later. "How's he doing? Really?" She asked, brushing back his sweat-soaked curls.

The nurse, whose name Liv had forgotten, looked unemotional as he said, "He's worse than the others. He's progressing faster. I dunno why. He looks like he might survive for ten days total, as opposed to the fourteen."

Liv glared. "Don't you dare say such things when he's conscious, do you hear me?" She snarled, seriously enraged by the apathy the nurse showed. "You have to keep his spirits up." She glanced at the chart that she held in her free hand. "And give him more fluids via IV, and a few doses of vancomysin."

"On who's authority?" The name-less nurse asked in a rather rude tone.

"Mine you idiot." She snarled. "Liv Kirk."

"You don't have the authority to…"

"But I do." Len growled from directly behind the nurse. It did Liv a little good to see the man leap into the air, startled. "Do as she says or I'll be finding you a post on the most disgusting backwater planet I can."

"Right away Doctor." Whimpered the nurse before he scurried away.

"I enjoyed that too much." Len muttered to himself but Liv heard him.

She grinned wryly. "Naw, I enjoyed it too." Carefully she settled Pavel onto his pillows, making sure they supported his back and neck to help prevent the coughing from waking him. "What's up?"

"You've been here a while, it's nearly 2100 hours. Go to bed, you need the rest." He growled softly, taking her elbow.

"Such a mother hen." Liv muttered but her knees felt weak as she walked and she knew he was right, so she didn't fight him. "You gonna tuck me in and read me a bedtime story too?" She asked teasingly as he frog marched her from Sick Bay.

"If it will get you in bed I'll do what needs doing." His voice was almost gentler when they were away from the prying eyes of the Beta shift medical staff. "I'll feel better knowing you're not working so hard you make yourself sicker, faster."

May 16th 1502 Hours

Len stood beside the incinerator and pressed the start sequence. The chamber began to turn red hot as he watched through the thermo-safe transparent polymer. _Three… Three more today and it's hardly three in the afternoon. Fifteen dead… this is worse than the Klingon incident was by far._

But he wasn't as devastated by the turn of events as he had been with the Klingon incident, not until Liv had been infected. _Which makes me a terrible man, not caring so much as long as me and mine were safe._ He almost hated himself for caring more about Liv's possibility of death than he did about fifteen other deaths. _Still though,_ he thought, _nothing I can do about it._

He turned to Christine Chapel. "Pack them up like the rest, Christine." He ordered before walking out of the small, dark room and heading back to the bio-lab.

May 17th 1145 Hours

Liv frowned and picked at her lunch, a vitamin enhanced noodle-like thing. It wasn't pasta but it sure looked like it was supposed to be. _Proof medical staff shouldn't attempt cooking._ She thought with a little humor, lifting a spoonful to her lips. Her hand trembled. She forced it to steady. Her eyes were red, she'd woken up to pink eyes but they'd darkened over the last few hours. _Thank God Len is busy with the most recent deceased crewmembers._ She thought. _He'd shit a brick if he saw me working with red eyes._

Her hand trembled so badly some of her noodles dropped from the utensil. They didn't land on her shirt, as sometimes happened, but on the floor. Liv set her bowl and spoon down and picked up the whatever-it-was. It went in the garbage. _It all would if I didn't NEED the energy._ She thought bitterly, as she tried to force herself to chew and swallow the first bite of the would-be-pasta. _Lord did they deliberately make it taste like shit?_

The door whooshed open. Happily her back was too the door. "Liv." Len greeted her, his gruff voice gruffer and darker than usual.

"Len." She responded, not turning around. She held her bowl out. "Want some?" She asked, half jokingly.

She heard his footfalls stop behind her. "What the hell is that?" He asked, his voice laden with disgust.

"My lunch apparently." Liv muttered. "It tastes worse than it looks."

Len laughed. "Poor filly." He took the bowl from her hand. "I'll go see if I can rustle us up something edible."

"My hero." She chirped, ignoring the endearment and forgetting herself just long enough to turn on her stool and kiss his cheek. _Fever's frying my brain cells…_ She thought as she pulled away. A deep red flooded Len's slightly scruffy cheeks. _Mind you… well worth it to see him blush. I didn't think the man could blush._

But of course he caught her eyes and immediately the mood changed. He grabbed her chin. "Fuck! Liv! You were supposed to stay in bed if this happened!"

"I feel fine." She lied. _But I don't feel worse than yesterday._ She said to herself, trying to make up for lying to him even if he couldn't hear. "It doesn't affect my vision. I can see just fine."

His lips pursed and his brow furrowed even more. _God he's hot… is that the fever talking? …No. No he's just always hot._ She banished the thoughts from her mind and focused. "You're not taking this seriously Liv! Damnit we lost two more. TWO MORE! That's seventeen dead, woman! If you don't rest you'll end up just like them!"

"But Len!" she argued, feeling her temper rising and struggling to control herself and prevent herself from speaking her mind. _I KNOW damnit! I know how many are dead! I know how close I am to being one of them! How can I forget?!_ "We're so close!" she reasoned. "So close to a cure. Spock's idea was brilliant and we're making headway. But if it's just you it'll take longer."

"You're not taking this seriously! How are you not worried? How are you not scared?" He yelled, dropping his hold on her chin to wave his arms about angrily.

Liv snapped. Tears she'd held at bay since the shower days ago flooded her eyes and streamed down her cheeks before she could stop them. "I AM scared!" She yelled. "Damn it I'm so scared I can hardly THINK!" She grabbed for her own arms, wrapping herself up, as if protecting herself though she wasn't sure from what. "I'm DYING Len! I'm a dead woman walking and I know it!" Maybe it was to prevent herself from falling completely apart…

"I'm so scared but if I stop working it's already won. I'm already dead. And I will NOT give up! For once I have something worth living for that's not just Jimmy. I have friends and family, and you, and Joey… and I'm not going to stop fighting until I drop dead!" Her anger left her in a rush and only the grief remained. "I'm scared." She whispered, dropping her head. "I'm so scared, Len, I don't want to die."

Len wrapped Liv's shaking body in his arms and she slid, slowly, from her yelling to soft, sobbing whimpers. She released herself and clung to him like he was a life raft and she was lost at sea. And he had no clue what to do.

His response to something he couldn't control or fix was anger but his anger had given way as soon as she let go. He hadn't realized that maybe she was holding on to work and her flippant attitude because it was all she could hold on to. He hadn't realized she'd been bottling up so much fear and grief and sorrow. But now he'd broken her defenses and released the torrent of emotions he'd wanted her to show all along he didn't know how to fix it.

So he rocked them slightly side to side, rubbed her back, and murmured soothing things to her, though he wasn't quite sure what. _What am I thinking, trying to get involved with her?! _He wondered as she slowly calmed down, her whimpers softening, her body shaking less. _I'm no good for her! Cantankerous old man like me… All I'd ever do would be make her cry._

"I'm sorry darlin'." He whispered into her golden hair. He didn't know if he was apologizing for pushing her into her little meltdown, or for loving her, or for not knowing how to fix any of it. "I'm sorry." Maybe it was all three.

She sniffled and nuzzled his shoulder, her tear-soaked face turning his shirt damp. "No… I guess it was going to happen sooner or later." She said into his shoulder, her voice a little weak from her tears and muffled by his body. Her hands, which clung to his shirt and upper right arm, tightened slightly. "Probably better you were here than not."

And as awkward as it was, having made her cry and then holding her while she did and failing miserably to calm her down… The thought of not being there when she needed him made him feel even worse. Gently he disentangled them. "I should go get that lunch, huh?" He asked softly, using the voice he typically reserved for when Joanna had nightmares. Her beautiful, if watery, blue eyes looked slightly confused. He nodded to the formula that was still on the wall. "We have a lot of work to do." He murmured. She smiled.

May 18th 0700 Hours

Liv groaned as she rose, slowly, into consciousness. The all over aching she'd almost become accustomed to was much worse than before. She was so uncomfortable she wasn't quite sure how she'd slept a wink, everything hurt. Not just aching like she'd pulled a muscle or worked out really hard. No it hurt like she'd just suffered a beating, a really BAD beating.

She shivered. _Oh I am so cold!_ "Computer," she called, her voice dry and cracking. She took a sip of water from her bedside table. Her arm trembled so hard she nearly dropped the mostly full glass. "Computer," she tried again, "what is the temperature of my quarters?"

"Seventy eight degrees." The computer answered.

_Oh shit. _She thought, realizing her fever must have risen significantly I the night to make her have the chills. _Better not tell Len or he'll forbid me from working today, no matter what he said yesterday. _Lifting the thick blankets from her body seemed like lifting weights, they were so heavy. Still she managed it and forced herself to sit up.

That hurt, and it took longer than she would have liked. A glance at the chronometer said it was 0713 already. _Crap._ She swung her legs to the floor. _One,_ she coached, _Two,_ she took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself, _THREE!_ She rose to her feet. Almost immediately, she didn't even have time to attempt to take a step, her legs gave way under her weight. The muscles were too warm and too weak to support her.

_No avoiding it now…_ She thought, resigning herself to the inevitable. "Computer, call Doctor McCoy."

Silence for a moment before… "Liv?" His voice was worried. "Liv are you alright?"

"No, I'm dead. Somehow I managed to call you though." She said sarcastically. She sighed. "I sort of need you here." She admitted, though it grated to say.

"I'll be right over." He promised before the line went dead. Literally minutes later the door opened and Len walked in, looking totally ready for the day. _Damn him,_ she thought uncharitably as he said, "Problem?" A single brow lifting in a handsome arch as he looked down at her, crumpled on the floor.

"My legs won't hold me anymore." She admitted, refusing to meet his eyes. _God how embarrassing…_

"Let me." He said simply, curling his arms under her and lifting her easily onto her bed. _Wow…_ she thought, for a moment sidetracked by the feel of being in his arms and having him lift her without trouble, _he's way more fit than I thought he was…_ "I suppose you're refusing to stay here again."

His voice was strangely calm and reasonable… Liv looked into his eyes. They were deep, dark pits of green, snarled with worry. His lips were pressed tightly together and his brow was furrowed, but his voice was level. _Odd…_ Liv thought but she answered, "Yes," as firmly as she could.

Strong arms collected her again and Len basically carried her to her bathroom. He placed her on the lav and opened the shower door. "I assume you can get yourself in there." She'd almost believe he was apathetic, just from the sound of his voice, but she heard the slight crack at the end.

She nodded. "Yea, I'll be fine. And… Could you maybe not tell Jimmy?" He scowled but said nothing to suggest otherwise. She caught his wrist, absently rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand. "Thanks Len." He nodded tersely and walked out.

Twenty minutes later Christine was there to help her dry herself and dress. She even had with her an ancient wheel-chair, used for in Sick Bay only. Liv had to smile. _I've always wanted to play in one of those._ She thought.

May 19th 1159 Hours

Liv was ecstatic. They'd done it! They'd actually done it! "Len, the culture has died off!" She looked up from the culture dish with the biggest, brightest smile she'd ever smiled. _We did it. I told you Pavel! I told you I'd save you!_

Len took the dish from her, his features controlled but brightened none-the-less. It would be a bad idea to get too excited, there might be a flaw with the cure but liv didn't care. It was the first bit of good news they'd gotten since the whole mess started nearly a month before. Liv rolled herself back and forth as she waited for Len to finished the scans…

Len's features darkened, his frown deepended. "Damnit." He muttered. "God damnit!"

"What?!" Liv asked horrified. Her heart dropping from her throat to the floor. "It didn't work?!"

Len snorted, angrily. "Oh it worked. But it created a bi-product that's toxic. I dunno if it's deadly at those levels or not. If it is, it'll kill faster than it can cure the Small Pox." He sighed and set the dish down before slamming his hand down on an adjacent table in a fit of anger. "FUCK! We'll need days of research and simulation before we can know for sure."

_But…_ she thought in a hopeless little mental voice, _but Pavel doesn't have days to waste._ He was so weak. They'd already had to remove two toes and the first phalange of the middle finger on his left hand. The rest were shifting from the red-purple to the dusky black of dead digits…

"I'll go get us some lunch and then we'll get started." He muttered, turning on his heel and walking out. He hesitated at the door and turned back to her. "We'll do it, Liv." He assured her. "We've gotten this far, we'll save you and the kid, I promise."

But as he left Liv knew it was a lie. Pavel didn't have a few days. He needed a cure in twenty-four hours or less, or there was no realistic hope he'd be healthy enough to save. There was a good chance he'd die from the damage already done to his body.

_I promised him._ Liv thought, staring intently at the culture dish. _I promised that boy I'd save him. That he'd celebrate his birthday. …God I think the kids a virgin. How sad would it be for a sweet boy like him to die a virgin?_ She ignored the fact that in a week or so she'd die a virgin too if the cure wasn't found.

_I promised him._ She thought. _I can't fail him._

_But it might kill him._ Her sensible side said, sounding weirdly like Len. _I have to be sure._

_I can't be sure unless it's tested, even if I did do all the simulations Len wants to do._ She argued back, feeling just a little crazy for arguing with herself.

_You can't test it on a person until after the simulations are run._ The Len-sound-a-like argued. _It's unethical to test unknown, quite possibly deadly drugs on patients. They can't fully understand the risks._

She snorted. _No one can unless they're in the medical field, even if it HAS had the simulations run. It can always go bad once in the body. And all anyone hears is '…possibility to save your life' the rest they don't care about._

_That's the law._ The practical side said firmly, like it resolved the issue.

But Liv was a Kirk, and aside from the fact Kirk's are known for being creative and out-of-the-box thinkers, they also hate laws. The vial of cure sat on the shelf beside her, archaic syringes beside it and all the other test substance vials to measure how much was dosed to the culture.

_But it's not illegal to give it to yourself._ She thought firmly, grabbing the syringe, the vial, and drawing up a dose. _I'm not going to let Pavel die._ She thought, pushing the slightly blunted needle into her vein, which stood out against her thinner than usual arms, and pushed the plunger.

The doors whooshed open. "Liv! God Damnit, woman!" Things clattered to the floor and a cool hand grabbed her weak, feverish one and pulled the needle from her arm. A pad was held to the puncture wound with more force than necessary. Len's face filled her vision and boy was he angry.

His eyes were bright with rage, his brows narrowed, his jaw set. "Damnit Liv! This could very easily kill you!"

She shrugged as best she could given her whole body had started to shake a little from a mild seizure, caused by her fever. "No time," she managed to force out between chattering teeth, "had to test it. Pavel's dying."

"You're dying too woman!" Len yelled. "What am I going to tell your brother when you die?"

"I died… a week… earlier… than I would have. …trying t..t..to save others." She forced out again, biting her tongue as she did.

"I am going to fire you ass if you live through this, woman." He growled fiercly. "Do you hear me?" _Actually not really…_ she thought distantly as her body went numb and her head swam in a way that had NOTHING to do with her fever or the Small Pox. _Uh oh…_ She thought as the world went black, again.


	27. Never Say Die

2259 – May 19th 2258 Hours

Len didn't look up as the doors to Liv's quarters whooshed open. He already knew who it was. After all, only one code could override the EMCs, and of the two people who knew said codes, one lay comatose on a bed in front of him.

"How is she?" Jim asked, walking up beside him and taking a seat on the bed, beside his twin.

"Comatose." Len murmured, wrapping his hand around Liv's thinner, smaller one and holding on for dear life. Her fever made her skin almost painfully hot to the touch and every few minutes she seized. "Fever's rising, seizures are getting more frequent but not more critical." He hesitated, considering whether or not to blunt the truth for his friend. "Not yet anyway." He added, deciding the whole truth would better prepare Jim for what Len was almost sure was inevitable.

"Any hope she'll pull through?" Jim asked, looking very child-like as he peered up at Len.

"Hope, always." Len answered, stroking Liv's thin fingers with his own. _We must always have hope._ He thought. _And I hope and pray you'll come back to me Liv, so I can fire your ass._ "But practically… her odds are miniscule."

Jim's face fell, shattered, before it hardened again. He glared up at Len with fierce blue eyes. "Get out, Bones." He ordered in a soft but powerful voice.

"Jim…" Len argued. _Please, _he begged silently, hoping his eyes conveyed the message he was too afraid to say aloud, _please don't make me leave her side._

"Get the fuck out." Jim growled, stretching out along the bed and pulling the feverish Liv into his arms, out of Len's grasp. "I want to be with my sister." Len hesitated. "I said," Jim began in a venomous whisper that sent a chill through Len, "get the FUCK OUT!" Jim roared the rest.

Len fought the urge to jump and instead lifted himself from the uncomfortable chair and nodded. "Call me if her seizures get worse. The computer in monitoring her vitals." Calmly he turned and left his best friend and captain alone with the dying woman he was quite sure he loved.

At the door he hesitated and glanced back. What he saw would forever be burned into his memory, should he lose Liv. He walked as fast as he could without running back to his quarters, trying to banish the image of Jim curled around Liv, sobbing silently. _Please Livie,_ Jim's voice begged his sister in a hoarse whisper in Len's head, _please don't leave me. I don't know how to live without you, I don't know who I am without you._

Dropping to his knees Len did something he hadn't done since he was a lad and science had sent religion running in public opinion. He bowed his head, folded his hands, and prayed. _Lord, please,_ he implored, _don't take Liv from us… from me. I know we managed without her before, but I don't think we can now. Jim will fall apart… Liv is his everything, she grounds him in a way no one else I've ever seen has. Don't take her away from him._

Len reached blindly for the small cross he still wore tucked under his shirt and held it tightly in his hands. _If she dies I don't know what I'll do. _He continued. _I'll fall apart. I don't know how, or why, but she's so important to me. You sent her into my life and you can't just take her away like this. I have to tell her I love her. I have to hear her say it back to me. So I'm sorry, and with all due respect, but you can't fucking have her._

May 20th 0645 Hours

Len knew Jim would be awake, he was due on duty in less than fifteen minutes after all, but still he felt some amount of trepidation as he opened the door to Liv's quarters. Liv was alone, curled up in her bed, still dead to the world. He walked into the room and perched on the edge of her bed.

"Hey," He murmured to her, "Mornin' darlin'." He brushed her damp, short hair from her forehead. "I'm here to steal some coffee and check up on you." The alarm hadn't gone off during the night and he could tell, just by touching her, that while her fever was dangerously high it wasn't yet so high she had major risk of severe seizures.

"Bones." Jim stood in the doorway to the bathroom, his hair damp. Len thought the poor kid's voice sounded… empty.

"Jim." He answered, offering his friend a nod before turning his attention back to Liv. He checked her pulse by hand though he could have asked the computer, he wanted an excuse to touch her.

"She's not getting better Bones." Jim croaked from the doorframe as he slumped against it. Len took a good look at his friend. Jim looked like he hadn't slept all night. His eyes were nearly as red as Liv's from crying, and big black bags ringed them. "Why isn't she getting better?"

"I wish I knew." He murmured, touching her closed eyes. _Open your eyes for me Liv,_ he coached mentally, _let me see those bleed-me-blue eyes, darlin'._ She didn't stir. "She's a fighter, Jim. Give Liv and the medication a chance to fight back the virus. It's not even been twenty-four hours."

Len stood up and turned his back on Liv, afraid if he stayed too long he'd never leave her side. He headed for the coffee maker. "She say that's okay?" Jim asked, his voice a little odd. "You can't just help yourself Bones."

He doubted Liv would mind but he didn't argue with Jim. The poor Captain was already emotionally fragile as it was. "Not explicitly." He agreed, changing course. "Forgive me, it just helps is all." They left together through the door.

"Helps what?" Jim asked, stepping into the turbolift with him.

_Helps keep me emotionally steady enough to do my job._ He thought bitterly, _because I can almost fool myself she's right about to walk into Sick Bay and chew me out for starting without her._ "It just helps." He said, brushing off his friend's curiosity. The door opened on the deck he needed. "I'll let you know as soon as I know anything about Liv, okay?" He asked but it was more to console his friend than an actual question. Without waiting for an answer he headed down the hall to the medlab.

1221 Hours

"I just got a call from Sick Bay." Jim growled as he stormed into the biolab. Len didn't even look up, knowing his apologies would be for naught. "You moved Livie from her room? She wanted to be in her room!"

"Jim," he said as calmly and patiently as he could given his patience was being worn extremely thin, "Liv needs the supervision. Her fever spiked and the seizures are becoming dangerous."

"She wanted to be in her room!" Jim yelled, his hand slamming down hard on an unused table.

His patience snapped. Len spun on his friend and growled rather venomously, "Listen to me, boy. I know what Livie wants. I did everything I could to respect her wants. But I cannot leave her unsupervised in her room in her current state! And I could not spare a nurse to sit with her.

"If her seizures stop her breathing she will die. Or, worse, she won't die. Her brain will go without oxygen for long enough it will begin to die and when the cure works she will be fine, except for the BRAIN DAMAGE!"

As soon as he took a breath Len realized he'd done the one thing he'd been trying not to do since Liv injected herself. Snap completely at some poor, innocent bystander. Sure, Jim wasn't a bystander, but that only made it worse.

Jim wilted, his rage disappearing and his shoulders dropping. "Sorry Bones… I just…"

Jim felt like curling up in a ball and sobbing. Liv was as good as dead apparently and somehow… somehow he had to find the strength to go on without her. He had the crew to think about, a ship with almost no engineering staff to manage, and a mission sent from Star Fleet Command to complete. _But I can't seem to focus on anything knowing Livie is dying and I can't do a thing to save her._

He'd spend the night holding her, begging her to wake up, to be okay. Livie was half of his soul, he could feel the thin connection to her at all times. He'd always had it and he assumed he always would. But if she died… If Livie died Jim would be alone. No one would fully understand him ever again, no one would know, explicitly, what happened to them both.

_No one would know about Tarsus, about what happened to us there. _Jim sank to a stool and closed his eyes, dropping his face into his hands. _Even I don't remember how I got each of my scars… Only Liv remembers how I got each and every scar. When I dream about the monster I really am who will know enough to convince me otherwise?_

He fisted his hands into his hair and fought a scream. "Do you have any idea what losing her will do to me?" He asked Bones, not looking up. "She's never told you has she? About what happened to us? I can't carry those memories alone. The only reason I survived was to protect her and now I've failed." _When she dies how will I live with myself? I'll have failed in the most basic reason for my existence._

"It's not your fault, Jim." Bones said softly, his voice full of hatred. Jim looked up and realized it was self-hatred. "I left her alone with the serum, Jim. I took away her hope for keeping her promise and left her alone. I should have known she'd not let the matter drop. I should have known she'd do something so stupid." Jim didn't think he'd ever heard Bones sound so… broken. "This is my fault. She's dying because of me."

"Bones…" Jim huffed, "Bones it's not your fault. Lily infected Liv, not you." Of course he couldn't follow the same logic for himself. He couldn't so easily banish the feelings of guilt that plagued him.

"She's getting worse faster than the others, Jim. Faster than any of the others! Her fingers and toes have started bruising. They'll be necrotic in a day. She'll be dead in two, if the seizures don't kill her first! And this is all because of the serum that I left her alone with!"

"No." Jim insisted, fighting the anger he felt welling up inside him. _No, no, no. It can't be his fault because it has to be my fault. I'm her brother, it's always my fault if I fail to protect her. From Frank, from Sam, from those aliens who took us hostage a few months ago, and from those cat-aliens…_ Besides if Bones was to blame Jim wasn't sure he could ever forgive him. And he needed his best friend.

"Yes, Jim! I could have saved her. If she'd not messed around with the serum I could have purified it and saved her! Pavel would have died, Scotty might have died, but Liv would have survived!"

Jim couldn't take the tension or his emotional weakness. He stormed from the room, hands curled into fists, fighting the urge to hit Bones. He headed straight for the Sick Bay. _I've got to see Liv._

2154 Hours

Len was exhausted. He'd hardly slept for a few nights, between his worry over Liv and his obsession with the serum. Yet there was no rest for him on the horizon. Tucked under his arms were two shatter-proof ceramic urns as he headed for the Sick Bay. _Two more,_ he lamented, _I've lost two more people to this virus. _

The door opened and Len set the urns into the cabinet with the others. He'd lost count. It was just too heavy a weight to think about. He closed the cabinet and wandered into the isolation ward.

It buzzed like a bee hive, nurses dashed about trying to keep the dying comfortable. Without a word Len headed for the far back room. Liv lay curled on her side on the biobed, her back to him. Her shirt clung like a second skin and he imagined it chaffed. She looked like she'd hardly been seen to although he knew it wasn't the case. They were just over run.

Kicking the door closed behind him, Len went to her bedside. As soon as he'd removed his own undershirt, he stripped Liv's shirt off her and replaced it with his own. It wasn't ideal but it wasn't soaked with sweat. "Computer, when was her last seizure?"

"2148 Hours." _About ten minutes…_ he calculated.

Pulling over the rolling stool, Len pillowed his head on his arms, which he rested in the biobed. He needed some amount of sleep, but he doubted he'd be capable of getting any rest in his own quarters. He closed his eyes, his hand finding and holding hers tightly. _I love you._ He thought desperately. _I love you and when you wake up and everything settles back down I'm going to tell you. _He promised her.

May 21st 0645 Hours

Len groaned as a hand gently shook him. His body ached, his back had cramped, and his neck cracked as he moved. The room was bright as he opened his eyes. As his eyes got accustomed to the brightness he saw his hand, covering a smaller, paler hand, his fingers laced with the smaller ones. The small hand in his was hot.

"Doctor, are you awake?" One of the Alpha shift nurses asked.

Len growled. "Yes, I am awake." Cracking his neck he looked up at Liv's face. Her face was pale, sweat-covered, and her lips bloody. But somehow she looked… better. "What is her temperature?" He barked.

"Wha?" The nurse babbled.

"What is Lieutenant Kirk's temperature? When did she last suffer a seizure?" He looked at her hands again. _Pale… her hands are PALE._ The bruised look was gone. "Well woman?!" He barked, glaring over his shoulder at the woman.

"Her temperature is one hundred and two, Doctor, and she last seized…" she glanced at the PADD in her hands, "about an hour ago."

It felt as if a crushing weight had been lifted from his chest. "Call Captain Kirk, get him down here now. Tell him it's possibly good news." He turned back to Liv, touching her still too warm cheek gently. "Also call in as many biologists as possible, we need to create more of this serum." He heard no movement behind him. "NOW!" He barked.

1139 Hours

"Why isn't she awake yet?" Jim asked for quite possibly the hundredth time since the top of the hour. "You said the fever was low grade now and her vitals had all stabilized."

"Jim, your sister's body has been a battle field for the past week. It is not surprising she needs to rest." Len growled firmly, fighting the urge to hit the man who was his friend.

"Think it'll work on everyone?" Jim asked, nodding toward the serum Len held in his hands.

"It will kill the Small Pox virus, yes. But I doubt all of them will survive the damage that the virus did to them before we could stop it." Len snapped, wishing he could reverse the damage done to them all. "Some, like Liv, weren't so seriously affected by the hemorrhaging."

"What about Chekov?" Jim asked, clearly trying to distract himself from fretting over Liv, which was both annoying as hell and a relief. The thought of Liv killed his ability to concentrate. But the mention of the kid made Len scowl.

"He's already lost the first phalange on four fingers and about half of his toes." Len admitted, heating the vial carefully, it had to be just the right temperature… "And the necrosis in a few of his remaining fingers is turning him septic. I might need to amputate, again." He deliberately left out the fact he wasn't sure the kid would live at all.

May 22nd 1204 Hours

Jim sat on the biobed, gently stroking Liv's hair. He hated waiting, hated not knowing. _Come home little twin._ He thought, willing her to hear him, to sense him. _Come back Livie._ Bones was acting all cool but Jim knew his friend well enough to read the lines on his face. Bones was worried she hadn't woken yet. And Bones being worried… well it worried Jim.

"Damnit Jim." Bones snarled as the door opened. "You have a job to do. Go do it."

"I'm waiting for my sister to wake up." Jim snapped, not looking up. "I'm not leaving her until I hear her voice." _The waiting is almost worse than her being sick._ To distract Bones he asked, "How are the others?"

"Two died over night, they were in the final stages of the disease so we expected it. One is weak, I'm worried she'll die before tomorrow morning." Bones sounded… exhausted and apathetic but Jim knew he was just protecting himself by acting like he was feeling nothing.

"How's Pavel?" Asked a soft, croaky voice from Jim's lap.

"He's weak, lost a few more finger tips but…" Bones stopped speaking and Jim realized why.

Looking down, he felt himself smile a smile that threatened to split his face in two. Liv's eyes were open but they weren't blue, they were a weird shade of purple. She smiled slightly up at him. "Hey." She whispered.

"Livie." Jim cried, feeling –to his shame- tears prick his eyes. "Oh, God, Livie!" He scooped her up into his arms, crushing her to his chest. "I thought I'd lost you." He whispered into her hair.

He heard, and felt, her chuckle. "Can't get rid of me…" she hesitated, her voice breaking, "…that easily, Jimmy."

"If you ever do that to me again I'll kick your ass." He threatened with no real heat behind his words. _She back, _he thought, over and over again, like a matra. _My Livie's back. She's back._

"Jim," Bones said in a stern, fatherly voice that Jim didn't know he had, "You need to let Liv breathe." Jim looked up and saw Bones beside him with a cup of water. "She needs fluids."

Jim released Liv and she settled back onto the pillows of her biobed (that Jim had brought from her room for a more homey feel). He watched his twin smile at Bones. "So… are you going to fire me?" She asked his best friend sheepishly, taking the water from him with slightly shaking hands.

"Yes," Bones growled but he had a particular grin Jim had only seen when Bones talked about his daughter. "You're fired."

Jim laughed. "And now you're rehired, because I can overrule him." He kissed Liv's forehead. Everything felt right again, his world had rebalanced itself. "I've got Captian-ly things to see to." Standing he made his way to the door. "You're having dinner with me tonight, Liv. No arguments."

She made a face at him and Jim left the Sick Bay laughing to himself. _If only the rest of my issues could be handled by 'sleeping beauty' finally waking up._

Len looked down at his beautiful PA as she leaned back against her pillows, smiling in a self-satisfied way. "What are you smiling at, Kirk?" He asked with a bit of snap to his voice. "You nearly died yesterday."

Liv shrugged in a dismissive way. "I trusted you to keep me alive while our serum cured me. I knew I was in the best of hands."

His anger at her idiocy disappeared and he collected her into his arms carefully, mindful of the possibility of scaring her and hurting her aching body. He hugged her. "You had a lot of people real worried, darlin'. You ever do that again and I WILL fire you ass, properly."

Instead of pulling away she snuggled close, resting her head on his chest. "I'm sorry I worried you Len. But I had to take the chance, for Pavel."

He rolled his eyes and tried not to smile. "You're an idiot. But you saved his life."

She looked up at him and smiled slightly. "So… can I go see him?" If he were able to stay annoyed with her he might have been able to say no. "Please?" She asked sweetly. _If she starts using this sweet, innocent routine with me I'll never be able to say no to her._

"Fine. You can go see him." Her bright smile warmed him through. _You will be the death of me, girl._ He thought. "But you should know I had to amputate the ends of a few fingers and a few of his toes."

Liv didn't actually want to move from Len's arms. He was warm and comfortable and it was easy to rest there, against him, and relax. She was so tired, her whole body ached, but she was so glad she was alive. "He's okay, though, right? Aside from that?" _If he's suffered something worse than the loss of a few phalanges I'll have failed him._ She thought miserably.

"He's just fine." Len promised, pulling his arms away from her. "He's in the room right across the hall." He collected the PADD that sat on the foot of her biobed and walked to the door. "You are still restricted to Sick Bay until I say otherwise, Livine." He informed her a little sternly.

As he left she smirked. _I ache, but not that badly._ She thought rebelliously. _I'm not staying here any longer than I've got to._ Still, she slid from her biobed and walked meekly to the door. _But I'll visit Pavel first…_

Pavel smiled weakly at her when she walked in. "Liwie, someone seid you ver sick."

Liv shrugged and smiled down at him. "Yea, well, I'm not immune to viruses just 'cause I'm a PA, kiddo." She sat beside him and took his hand in hers. All four 'fingers' on each hand had only one joint, the final phalange missing.

"Deed you rweally take da unteested seerum?" His eyes were bright, awed.

Liv nodded. "Well I promised you I'd get you better. It was the only way to know the serum wouldn't kill you."

"You kood have died." He said in an almost accusatory tone.

"Yea, well… Anything for family, little brother." She answered, kissing his forehead. "So… I'm making a jail break to my quarters, you think you're up to making a run for it with me?"

Pavel smiled a slow, mischievous smile. One Liv happily returned.

AN: HA! Done with this section. So, what do you all think? Good? Great? I loved it and I hope you all did too! And don't feel sorry for Chekov, he's got some good stuff coming to him, eventually.

Remember, review = Preview!

Ciao my loves!


	28. Taking Chances

AN: This was gonna be a naughty chapter but it's not. I ended up writing more than I planned so, eh. Enjoy!

2259 – June 6th 2345 Hours

"Livie!" Jim yelled as he dashed through her doorway. Liv, having been half asleep, did what came naturally to being startled when in bed and asleep after her childhood… she threw whatever was closest at hand at the intruder. There was a very satisfying thump of something against flesh and a breathless, "OW!"

Liv opened her eyes. Jim was bent double, clutching his stomach, wheezing. "Oh," Liv muttered, realizing what she must have done, "oops. Sorry Jimmy."

"Oops," Jim muttered, clearly annoyed. "You threw a…" he scooped up what she'd thrown, an actual paperbound book, "…'a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's greatest works' at me!" He walked slowly, as if pained, into her room and sat on the edge of her bed, placing the book on her bedside table.

"You scared me." Liv explained easily. "You know as well as I that we shouldn't be startled while sleeping."

Jim huffed but didn't argue. He DID know what she meant. It was a reflex they'd developed as they learned to fight back against Sam, who had liked to sneak into Liv's room in the middle of the night. Instead of arguing or pouting further Jim sprawled out along Liv's bed, his head on her pillow, face turned to look at her. "Do you know what tomorrow is?"

"June 7th." Liv answered, glancing at her chronometer to be sure it still was the 6th.

"Do you know what the 7th is?" Jim asked her, his lips slowly curling into a grin.

"No, Jimmy." Liv muttered, getting a little annoyed at her twin's antics. She was tired.

"Guess." He commanded in that annoying, 'I'm older brother so I can lord over you as much as I like' voice.

"Tell me." Liv growled, using the menacing voice she'd learned from Len. Jim balked slightly. "Or I'll just kick your sorry ass out and go back to sleep."

Jim pouted, clearly recovering from the shock of her uncharacteristic outburst, but said, "Boney's birthday, he's going to be 32." Jim snickered. "He's old."

Liv cuffed her brother. "32 is not old." She informed him firmly, calmly, but inside she was reeling. _How is it I didn't know this?! Why didn't he tell me? _She asked herself, internally freaking out. _Does he not want me to know? Oh, shit! What do I get him?_

"32 IS old." Jim muttered, grinning. "I just wanted to let you know because the day after tomorrow is a shore leave day and I'm gonna take him to get smashed." Jim's grin widened. "Maybe we'll hit a strip bar."

Liv's stomach turned into a hunk of ice at the thought of other women, particularly scantily clad women, shaking their assets at Len. "Nyota will kill you, and don't think I won't tell her." She threatened, thinking fast.

Jim's face fell and he looked almost crushed. "That hurts Livie!" He complained, grabbing her hands in his dramatically. "What about me? How could you forsake me like that?!"

Liv laughed, she couldn't help herself. "'Forsake'? Did you really just say that?" She asked, giggling.

Jim chuckled. "Yea." He shrugged. "Too much?" He asked, relaxing back into his usual cocky self.

Liv nodded, smirking. "Way too much. And yes, our solidarity only goes so far. I thought you were gonna marry that woman. Lord knows she's the only one who'd put up with you for life, aside from me."

Jim's grin relaxed into a slow, sweet, loving smile and his eyes went a little unfocused. "Yeah, she sure is something."

Liv kicked his lower leg. "So don't let her slip away you idiot."

Jim snorted. "Well that was why I brought it all up, sort of. I was going to let you know I was going to steal Bones all day and I'd be forever in your debt if you took Nyota shopping… and maybe pay special attention to the jewelry. They say this space station has some of the best selection in the quadrent." He looked at her so imploringly that Liv couldn't bring herself to say no. "Please?" He added.

"Yea," she sighed, "yea, sure, fine. I'll go with her and quietly as the shop keeper to place the ones she likes the most on hold for you. You can choose from there, okay?"

Jim hugged her with one arm, grinning. "You are the best twin I could ever ask for." He kissed her forehead. "Anyway, go to sleep little Livie, it's late." He hopped up and made for her door. Liv contemplated throwing something at him. _But then I'd have to go get it._ She thought. The door whooshed shut before she could make up her mind, the decision made for her.

But with the new information, sleep was the last thing on Liv's mind. _What do you get your boss for his birthday?_ She wondered. _Better question. What do you get your boss, who you're pretty sure is into you, for his birthday?_ Fiddling with her blanket, smoothing it out to remove the wrinkles Jim had made, she closed her eyes. _What do you get your boss, who you'd like nothing more than to jump and have been having naughty dreams about for months, for his birthday?_

With her mind running helplessly in circles Liv curled up and tried to sleep. Eventually the welcome darkness silenced her internal debate.

0645 Hours

The alarm went off for three rounds of annoying as fuck beeping, jerking Liv from a very pleasant and slightly naughty dream, before switching to a random playlist of her music. As Liv opened her eyes to her room, which was lit by overhead lights set to 35%, the music washed over her. "Don't know much about your life, Don't know much about your world, but Don't wanna be alone tonight, on this planet they call Earth."

The words were familiar and made her gut ache. Liv rolled out of bed. _What do I know about him? Aside from Jocelyn and Joanna and the horses what do I know about him?_ She headed to the bathroom as the second verse began.

"You don't know about my past, and I don't have a future figured out." _What is it,_ she wondered, _with my music player? Why does it always happen to play songs that exemplify my current delima?_ _Maybe some sick, twisted God up there dictating my life and getting a kick out of messing with my head._ She dismissed the thought with a grin. _Naw, that's just insane._

But the music, as it continued to play, kept striking cords in her mind. _Len knows so little about my past, and I've got no plans for my future. Everything I've ever worked for lead me here and now I'm just living day to day._

"I just want to start again, and maybe you could show me how to try." She stepped into the shower and tipped her head back. _I do want to start again. I want to be normal. I want to be… not broken, not afraid. And of all the men I've ever met… he seems most understanding. He's not perfect either but… maybe he could…_

"What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there's solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay. What do you say?" Liv lathered up her hair. _I say it's insane and stupid, and suicidal. I say you need to know what you're getting yourself into and you need to know, without a shadow of a doubt that you can trust a person before you let yourself fall in love._

The song ended and another began, one less meaningful. Liv rolled her eyes and let the mental conversation drop. "I'm an idiot. Chances like those are what get you hurt." _Love is great, but it's not for me._

0725 Hours

Len looked up from his PADD as he heard soft feet on the floor. Liv walked in. Her hair had kept growing and she'd not bothered to cut it. It was somewhere close to three, maybe three and a half inches long, and it was still damp. She placed an extremely large mug on his desk before him.

He eyed it distrustfully. What had he done to deserve extra coffee? _The day's not that busy… is it?_ He glanced up at her, meeting her eyes. _At least they're blue again. I missed her blue eyes._

"Happy birthday," she said in a shy voice, her cheeks darkening to a slight blush, but her eyes stayed on his.

Len groaned. "Lord, don't remind me. I'm getting old."

She laughed and Len looked up, glowering at her. "32 years is not old, Len." Her eyes shifted from his face to his hair and she frowned slightly. "Although…" she reached forward and brushed his hair, just at his left temple. He fought not to lean into the touch.

"What?" He asked, worried, as he noticed her frown deepening.

"Is that a grey hair?" She asked.

Len didn't consider himself a vain man, but he blanched and turned toward the far wall, where he knew there was a small, mirrored window that looked into the Isolation section of Sick Bay. He didn't manage to prevent a small, strangled, "what?!" from escaping between his lips.

And then he heard her laughing. He turned to glare at her darkly but Liv just grinned. "I cannot believe you fell for that. And don't worry, you look great." She tapped the mug and winked, "Happy Birthday, old man." Before he could find the words to snap back a retort she was gone.

It wasn't an hour later that the first minor ripple in his day occurred. The chronometer had just shifted to say 0815 hours when the Sick Bay doors whooshed open and a rather loud collection of voices filled the air. "Damnit." Len muttered, he'd been hoping it would be quiet for his birthday. He stood and strode quickly into the main bay.

Scotty sat on the nearest biobed to the door, scowling and loudly protesting his perfect health, "Tis ah scratch, lassy! A scratch!"

"If scratches bleed that badly I'm an belly dancer." Liv snapped, threatening the Scottish man with a hypo. "Sit your ass still or I'll use this."

Len let himself smile slightly. _Maybe I am rubbing off on her. Or maybe my little filly's just learning to trust and relax in general and we're finally seeing the real woman under there._ "Scotty do not fight my PA, not only is she MY PA but she's a Kirk. Do you really want to wind up on her bad side?" He scolded. That made the man sit still for a moment, clearly thinking it over.

"Well 'urry it up, lass. I've got ta get me arse back ta Engineering." Scotty groused, settling down.

Len rolled his eyes and collected the tools he'd need while Liv cleaned up the injury. "You have a full staff now." Liv commented, "why would you need to worry so much about it? They're fully trained…"

_Oh here it comes…_ Len thought. "They're idjits!" Scotty yelled, scowling. "Total idjits! Ah've got ta re-teach 'em else they do more 'urt than 'elp!"

Liv glanced at him, her lips quirked into a wry grin. Len returned it, unable to stop himself.

"He was trying to do everything at once." Laura accused from her place on the biobed beside them. "He miscalculated and blew up a few minor circuits."

Len scowled, his day taking a turn for the worse. _Circuits blowing up… Lord it'll be a miracle if I survive long enough to see my baby turn 8._ "Minor? Is there such a thing as minor circuitry on a spaceship?" He growled.

Scotty waved his hand at Len and Len was tempted to stab it. "Jus' backup systems, Doc. Nothin' ta worry 'bout."

"Unless we loose the main systems in some terrible, unforeseen event." Liv added cheerfully.

Laura chuckled but Len's gut turned to ice. _I HATE space._ "We've got Chekov working on fixing them. The boy really is a genius. I think he could do any engineering or physic related position on this ship." Although it went against most things he believed in, the idea of having the Kid fixing the system calmed him considerably.

"Well good." Len muttered. "Knowing our Captain…"

"Hey, be nice to my twin!" Liv interrupted, grinning. "He's not that reckless, not with us. He's an idiot when it comes to his own hide, but he loves this ship almost as much as he loves Nyota. In fact I think she should be jealous."

That got everyone laughing.

1200 Hour

Len looked up as his office door opened. Chris smiled at him and behind her stood the Kid, his smile shy but there. "Happy Birthday." They both said immediately. Chris stepped in, realized Chekov hadn't, and grabbed the kid's arm, dragging him into Len's quarters. Len fought a chuckle at the boy's nervousness.

"This is our gift to you." Chris said, setting a large, heavy, wrapped something in his hands. "We had to go halvsies because if either of us bought it for you, you'd of been annoyed at us spending too much."

Len rolled his eyes. "You two didn't have to get me a damned thing."

"Eet's more a 'fank you' for mee." Chekov said, turning his eyes toward his hands. Len followed his eyes and frowned slightly, wishing he could have prevented the boy from losing parts of his fingers. "Beeter my fingers than my life, no?" Chekov grinned slightly.

Chris kicked Len's shin, not hard but enough to get his attention. "Don't scold us just open the damned thing."

Len scowled at his blonde friend and did as she bade. Under the paper was a worn, ancient, blue hard-back book. It was in great condition, considering the pages were yellow with age. The peeling silver gilded words on the front read "Gray's anatomy: Descriptive ad Surgical Theory". For a long moment Len just stared at the piece of history in his hands, unsure what to say.

"Where… How?" He looked up at the Kid and Chris, both of whom were smiling brightly, clearly pleased with his reaction. "This book is four hundred years old."

"Four hundred and one." Chris corrected, grinning wider. "Chekov found it. It was in some estate sale in Russia. The previous owner was a collector of historical objects but since it's so out of date…" Chris shrugged.

"You are pleased, yes?" Chekov asked, looking hopeful.

"More than pleased, kid." He said gruffly. "This is… thanks." He didn't know how to express the tight, wondrous emotion he was currently feeling but he supposed he didn't need to, given Chris was part Betazoid.

"Good," Chris said with a bright smile. "We'll leave you to pour over it, we've got to get back to work anyway." Len nodded and absently waved them off, his entire attention focused on the beautifully bound piece of history sitting on his desk.

1700 Hours

Len couldn't help but be pleased with the turn of events. Sure, Scotty had been back to Sick Bay three more times, reaching a new ship-wide best for number of required Sick Bay trips in one shift. And The nurses had sung to him, and Jim had announced in on the ship-wide comm. (for which Len was already planning payback). And Joanna wasn't able to call to talk to him because of Jocelyn but it had been a good shift.

None of Scotty's mishaps had been life threatening just serious. Engineering was apparently settling down as all the new crew learned to just do as Scotty said, so the ship was likely safe from further incident. And Len had been given one of the most memorable gifts he'd ever received. So, given his surprisingly good mood, Len caught Livs arm as she walked out of his office for the last time that shift.

"Have dinner with me." He said, not really asking but not really ordering.

Liv shook her head. "Can't," she explained, "busy trying to figure out what the hell to get you as a late birthday gift." She glared at him a little but her eyes held no heat, "Since no one told me until really, REALLY late last night it was your birthday today."

Len fought a laugh. "Call it your gift to me. Dinner, you, me, my quarters, in three

hours." He saw the stubborn set to her jaw and added, "Please?"

He knew she'd given in by the slow smile that curled her lips up in a slightly crooked smile. "Yeah, sure. You gonna tell me why?" She asked.

_Because I'm going to sweep you off your feet because I am sick and tired of biding my time and hoping you'll come to me. _He thought honestly, but he answered, "We've been working together for nine months, but I hardly know you." And it was true. He knew he loved her, that he wanted to spend the rest of his existence making her love him, but he didn't know her favorite color, her favorite food, what she enjoyed doing in her down time, and so much more.

He didn't miss the odd look that flicked across her face, something akin to shock, but he didn't press the issue and he didn't have time too. Liv nodded and smiled a little. "Sounds good to me." Len smiled to himself as she walked off.

2000 Hours

Liv walked into Len's quarters, unannounced, with a small smile. "Hey there Cowboy." She greeted him. Len looked up from the table, which he'd set with the necessities, to offer her something to drink. His words died in his mouth. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a very nice, sort of slinky looking, dark green tank top. She must have noticed his lingering stare because she blushed a very appealing shade of red and said quickly, "Blame Chrissy, she made me raid her closet when I told her I couldn't have dinner with her because I had plans with you." Liv rolled her eyes, "She was rambling on about this being a 'date'. Do you know how long it took me to convince her I didn't need help with my hair and make-up?"

Len couldn't help it, he chuckled. _Chrissy… You just love making trouble don't you?_ If the top belonged to Chrissy that would explain the reason it was so tight across Liv's chest. Liv was the same size as Chrissy for the most part, but she was better endowed. "You look fine." _Better than fine, you look good enough to make me want to forget dinner._ "Sit. Do you want a drink?"

"Wine is always good, but I'll get it." Liv walked to his side and thrust her personal comm. into his hands. "You sit down. You're about to get a call." She placed her hand on his back and gently forced him to sit. "What color, red or white?" she asked, heading to the replicator.

Len wasn't a big wine fan but what wine he did like was hard to get. "I've got a bottle of a really good red," he said, pointing toward his desk. "Pull the right side away from the wall, it'll be the only bottle of wine there." The comm. in his hands buzzed and Len pressed the accept call button immediately.

"DADDY!" Joanna cried as soon as the connection was made. Her smiling face made Len's heart warm.

"Hey Baby." He greeted her. "I thought your Mom had you all day." _Not that I'm complaining, _he thought.

Joanna smiled and shook her head. "Mommy is out with her friends. Nick stayed with me." Her head turned, like she was listening to someone in the room with her. "He says 'Hi'."

"Hello Nick." Leonard answered, unsure if he was pleased or annoyed that the lad was helping him again.

"Happy birthday Daddy!" Joanna chirped, pulling from somewhere he couldn't see a cupcake with two lit candles on it.

"Happy Birthday Len," Liv murmured from directly behind him half a second later. Her pale hand reached around him, in it balanced a cupcake with three lit candles.

"Five candles?" He asked his daughter and PA, grinning slightly. "I'm older than five."

Joanna laughed. "No Daddy! Three and two, thirty two!"

"We didn't think thirty two candles would fit." Liv murmured as she sat in the chair opposite him.

And then Joanna burst into song. "Happy Birthday to you!" And Liv joined her. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Daddy (Leonard)! Happy birthday to you!" Len couldn't quite fight back a smile.

"Make a wish Daddy!" Joanna cried. "And blow out your candles!" Len did as ordered, inhaling and puffing out his cheeks to extinguish the small flames. He even humored his little girl by making a wish. _Don't let Liv run screaming from me tonight._ He wished with all he had.

As he opened his eyes Len saw his baby girl, albeit via a comm. halo image, and behind her Liv. _Exactly what I want,_ he thought with a wry smile.

Liv knew Joanna would have a few minutes to chat with her Dad before having to go to bed, it was later in Mississippi than it was on the _Enterprise_ as they were on San Fran time, so she decided to find and open the bottle of wine Len had mentioned. His desk wasn't much bigger than hers but it was heavy with whatever he'd stuffed in it, so moving the damned thing had her heart racing a bit. She found the bottle easily enough once the desk was moved.

Len's laugh, soft and a little rough from disuse, was a shocking and pleasant sound. It made Liv look up. _I wish Joey were here._ She thought, watching Len's face light up as he talked with his daughter. _She makes him so happy… and I miss her something fierce._

Liv would have wanted to talk to the kiddo too but there was no need. They'd caught up for an hour after Joanna had filled her in on the plan for the evening. _Wonder what he wished for._ She thought absently, pouring two glasses of wine.

"Love you baby." Len said gently. "Thanks for calling me."

"Love you Daddy!" Joanna said happily but Liv saw her yawn. "Happy birthday. And thanks 'Ivie!"

Liv snickered and smiled. "Welcome kiddo. Now get your butt to bed! I saw that yawn."

Joanna waved at her Dad. "Night Daddy."

"G'night darlin'." Len murmured and they closed the comm. link. He turned his eyes on her almost accusingly. "You planned that."

Liv shook her head and set the glass of wine down in front of him before taking what she supposed was her own seat. "God no. That was all Joey. She called me hours ago and told me exactly what I was gonna do."

Len eyed her for a moment, as if not sure he believed her. "My daughter was never than conniving when I lived with her." He accused.

Liv just grinned. "Well she spent three years of her life either at school or with me. I suppose I was bound to rub off on her a little."

Len chuckled, a warm and relaxing sound that made Liv's stomach flutter like it was full of butterflies. "Great, now that's all I need. Three Kirk's in my life."

Liv laughed. "Imagine that. Joey, Jim, and I, all together, all with our minds set on making trouble."

Leonard groaned, covering his eyes with a hand. "There really is no God." He lamented.

"You know you love us." Liv quipped, teasingly. But when Len's eyes opened again and met hers the atmosphere in the room shifted. It was almost as if his eyes said, _You have no idea._ But she couldn't quite believe that. "So," she said, breaking the moment by turning her eyes away from his, "Dinner?"


	29. Come On, Get Higher

2259 – June 7th 2059 Hours

"Dinner was great, Len." Liv said with a small smile in his direction. It did little to soothe his annoyance at the world, however.

"Dinner was passable. I hate these goddamned replicators, they can make a total clusterfuck of just about everything." Len groused, annoyed and upset that his wonderful plans for ribs and salad had gone so wrong.

Liv laughed softly. "Okay, fine, so the replicator botched the ribs, but it didn't botch the salad." Len just huffed, taking another sip of his wine moodily. _This is NOT how I pictured this evening going._ He groused to himself. "And the wine is great."

Len glanced back up at Liv. She was relaxed, smiling, completely at ease. _Okay, so maybe it could have been worse._ He admitted to himself. "You're right." He conceded, "And the pasta could have been worse." How a replicator could botch spaghetti Len didn't know but apparently it could, three times, before they managed to tweak the program enough to fix it.

"Clearly you need to try Jimmy's cooking. Compared to that," Liv said with a laugh, "replicator food is high cuisine, even if it's botched. Because nothing is worse than Jim's cooking."

Len chuckled, picturing Jim in his kitchen, trying to make anything. "Kid's that bad?"

"Burns water." Liv confirmed with a wink. "He can burn just about everything, which makes him helpless in the kitchen but amusing as all get up in chemistry class in high school." Len blanched and Liv giggled. "So, our professor had this theory. It was 'Pair up two boys, you get explosions and accidents galore. Pair up two girls you get nothing but gossiping. Pair up a boy and a girl you might actually get some work done.'"

"Didn't work with you two?" Len guessed, knowing his Captain and PA well enough to know the most likely outcome of them, fire, and flammable liquids.

"Three," Liv corrected, "Jim, Blake, and Me. And no. No matter who he paired Jimmy or I with we always created some minor catastrophe. I think the Chem lab still bears the scorch marks from when he paired Jimmy and I together…" Leonard cringed. _That is a rather frightening thought._ "So, what about you? How was school for you?"

"Much less interesting," Len admitted with a wry grin, "I was less of a trouble maker. More the boy everyone mocked behind his back for being nerdy but never to his face." High school wasn't one of those times he was too ashamed of. Indeed he rather liked his high school career.

"Why? Afraid you'd go Columbine on their asses?" Liv asked, tipping her head to the side a little.

Len shook his head. "Lord no. I was star quarterback on our football team." Her shocked expression made Len laugh. "Don't look so surprised. I might be old now but I was damn good a decade ago."

Liv shifted and he felt her toe tap his knee under the table. A gentle reprimand. "I thought we agreed, you're not old." She grinned, "And no, I was trying to picture it is all."

Len chuckled. "Difficult, I know. But it was the South and no matter how far we progress in some ways the South will always love football. It was the big thing in my home town."

Liv nodded. "Oh, trust me, I remember. Both from my high school and from the time I was in Mississippi. I took Joanna to see quite a few games, she loves it." _That's my girl, _he thought with a bit of pride. Liv glanced around the room. "So, tell me something Len, what do you do when you're not working?"

"Here?" He asked. She nodded. Len frowned a little. "I work a lot, I'm CMO. But I play chess with Chris, Jim, and the hobgoblin." Liv grinned a little at the less than kind nickname for the Second. "I humor the lot of you when we have karaoke nights. I read…" He wasn't sure if he wanted to add the last thing he did in his free time, it seemed a little vain to admit he worked out. _I'm CMO, _he rationalized it, _I've got to keep myself fit or else I'll end up like Dr. Puri._ "At home, in Mississippi, I'd spend time with Joanna or the horses. What about you?"

Liv shrugged absently. "I read, a lot, and I've been spending time with Pavel on the Halodecks. We've been going through simulations that teach hand to hand and other methods of self defense." Len frowned a little but Liv didn't seem to notice. "We don't want to end up needing rescue again. And I've been letting him teach me soccer, you know they have that programmed into the halodeck?" She grinned. "I bet they've got a football program. Maybe you could find time to teach us, Pavel and I."

Le felt his gut tighten a little. She was asking him to spend time outside of work… _I am getting somewhere._ He thought. "Sure," Len said, honestly looking forward to it. "Tomorrow?" A leave day was perfect timing, everyone would be on the space station.

Liv frowned. "Can't." She said apologetically.

"I have no plans." He argued, feeling more than a little disappointed. Liv bit her lip, trying to hide a grin. "What are you not telling me?" He asked, realizing she knew something he didn't.

"Promise you'll act surprised tomorrow?" She asked a little shyly. Len nodded. "Jimmy's going to kidnap you and take you out to get smashed. He's actually going to stay sober. I think he wants to pay you back for our birthday."

_Idiot kid,_ Len thought fondly, _I'm actually not in such a bad place that I want to get drunk off my ass. But I won't complain._ "What are you doing? You could join us." He offered.

Liv shrugged. "Maybe. Apparently I'm taking Nyota shopping and we're going to pay special attention to rings…" She grinned at Len's mildly surprised expression. "You don't think Jimmy could pick out the things he does for her, do you?" Liv asked with a wry grin. "He's not nearly as metro as he'd have you all think. But he is learning, there's hope."

Len noticed her glass was almost empty so he poured her a bit more, not wanting her drunk but wanting to keep her relaxed. "That doesn't surprise me much, actually." Len admitted. "I never pegged Jim as being the sort who paid close attention to his girl's favorites. He never had to when there were so many of 'em."

Liv grinned a challenging grin at him. "Oh? And you do, Doctor?" The way she used his title should NOT have been sexy, but it was. Len nodded and leaned back in his chair. "I bet you can't remember more of my favorites than I can of yours." She challenged.

They'd discussed them over dinner, slowly, more like comparing notes than playing twenty questions. "You are on." He said with a grin. "If you win what do you get?"

"You'll tell me what you wished for." Liv said with a grin. _She is like a dog with a bone._ He thought appreciatively. He liked her tenaciousness when she was comfortable.

"Alright, I'll tell you what I wished for. If I win…" Len considered his options. "You stay for dessert."

Liv blinked, as if surprised that was what he wanted, but he had a few little tricks up his sleeve. "Deal." Liv said confidently. "Go ahead."

"Your favorite color was blue, now it's green, but you won't tell me why." Len started, feeling very confident. "Your favorite food is cranberry and orange muffins." He loved the slightly shocked look on her face. _I pay attention, darlin',_ he thought. "Your favorite sweet is chocolate; flower, daisy; music, 21st century rock; weather, thunder storms; animal, dog; and your favorite drink is a good, old fashioned Coke."

Liv was just a little shocked Len had been paying such close attention to her. As she understood it men never did. _I can't believe he remembered all that._ She thought with a little thrill of uncertainty. Could she remember more? She didn't think so. That was all they'd talked about… what would happen if they tied?

"You're favorite color is 'bleed-me-blue', but you won't explain that to me either." His lips quirked a little into a secretive grin. "Your favorite food is the baby-back ribs you tried to make for me tonight, which is why you're so upset it didn't work. You also like chocolate but you prefer dark chocolate. You like roses because of their symbolism." She reached out and touched the rose he had sitting on the table in a tiny vase. "Very ballsy, by the way, admitting that." She teased. Jim would never have admitted he liked flowers at all, let alone which ones. "You like Jazz from all eras but especially the 20th century. You like warm, sunny days, horses, and your favorite drink is a well made mint julep.

"You owe me an answer." She teased.

"You owe me dessert." Len retorted. "I'll tell you later. Help me clean up?" He asked, nodding to their dirty plates and utensils.

"Sure." Liv murmured, grabbing her plate and utensils and following him to the small sink. "I'll wash, you dry and put away?" She asked, "Since I dunno where anything goes."

Ten minutes later Liv found herself curled up on one side of Len's small couch, nibbling on her favorite ice cream. "Well at least there's one thing the replicator does damn well." She said with a grin.

"Thank Chrissy. She went apeshit on the damn thing when she realized it didn't. Took her a week but she figured out how to correct the codes."

"A woman after my own heart." Liv sighed, biting back a little moan of happiness as she took another bite of the 'Brownie cheesecake' Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Len made a noise, sort of a groan, and she opened her eyes, startled and worried. "You okay?" He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together, his eyes focused and wanting. _If he wants a taste all he has to do is ask._ She thought, fighting a little laugh. "Want a taste?" she asked, offering him her bowl.

Leonard McCoy was only human. And being human he had his limits. Liv eating ice cream was not something he'd expected to be sexy, but when her eyes slid shut and she moaned very softly how else was he supposed to react? Especially when it was extremely similar to the little moan he remembered from the last time he kissed her. He tried to bite back a groan of desire but failed.

Her eyes opened, worried and sweet. "You okay?" She asked and he managed to nod, keeping his mouth shut to prevent himself from doing or saying something stupid. Her smile turned knowing. "Want a taste?" She asked.

Sure, logically Len knew she meant the ice cream, especially since she was offering it to him, but logic wasn't really what he was much concerned with at the moment. "Lord yes." He growled, setting his bowl aside, taking hers from her hands, and pulling her close so he could kiss her.

Liv gasped, shocked, and Len realized he was probably coming on too strong. _Damn it Len,_ he snapped at himself, pulling away from the kiss. But as he did Liv made an annoyed little sound and leaned forward, not letting him break the kiss. _Alright then._ He thought absently, smiling into the kiss.

Liv pulled away a few minutes later. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes a little glazed. Though she broke the kiss Liv didn't pull away from his hold, in fact she dropped her head onto his shoulder and took a few shuddering breaths. "That's one way to get a taste of my ice cream, I guess." She murmured into his shoulder after a few moments.

Len chuckled. "The ice cream was never what I wanted." He admitted, stroking his hand gently down her back. Liv surprised him by arching a little into his touch.

"Tell me, Len," she asked, snuggling into his arms, "What did you wish for?"

"I'm not supposed to tell," he teased, leaning back against the arm of the couch and pulling her with him so he was half sitting half lounging and she was cuddled to his chest. She didn't stop him. He felt her frown against his shoulder and shift, probably to sit up and glare at him. He chuckled. "But since It's mostly come true I suppose it can't hurt."

Len looked down at her blue eyes and admitted, blushing just a little, "I wished that you wouldn't go running from me again tonight."

The blush that crossed her cheeks was very appealing. _It's just not fair how sexy she can look, and still seem innocent._ He thought. "Why would I go running tonight? You've kissed me before."

"Because this time," he said slowly, fighting back a bit of nervousness, "you know I mean something by it. I'm not stressed, emotional, drunk, under mistletoe…"

Liv closed her eyes and pulled away from him a little, sitting up and shifting to put some distance between them. His heart skipped a beat as the thought _I pushed too hard, damnit!_ Rippled across his mind. "Len… what are you doing?" She asked, looking up at him shyly through her lashes.

_Honesty is the best policy. _He reminded himself. "I'm attempting to woo you." He admitted. "Clearly I'm out of practice if we're actually having this discussion."

"Why?" She demanded, scooping up her glass of wine and holding it but not taking a sip, like it was simply something to do with her hands. "You're my boss. Won't this make things… weird? And why do you want me? You've seen me… I'm ugly."

Len scowled and reached forward and caught her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "There is nothing ugly about you, Liv. Nothing at all." He gently reached forward with his free hand and touched the rather thick scar along her upper arm. Her eyes slid shut and she twitched, he wasn't sure if it was fro pain, disgust, of something else. But she didn't shrug his touch away. "You are beautiful, don't you dare think otherwise." He removed his hand from her arm and released her, knowing she'd probably run.

Again his Liv surprised him. She sat still and opened her eyes slowly, biting her lower lip. "You… you really want me, knowing what you do about me?"

"Yes." He said calmly. _God yes,_ He thought. "May I continue to attempt to convince you to give me a chance?" He asked teasingly.

She laughed a little, breaking the tense mood, "Sure."

"Thank you, darlin'." He said, leaning in to kiss her again, gently, slowly. _I got what I wanted._ He reminded his libido, which had shifted from 'off' to 'overdrive'. _No need to rush her. This should be slow._ After all, Jim could convince a nun to tumble into the sack with him after knowing the woman less than a day. But Leonard had a very different, if equally effective, MO.

A few minutes later, so as not to overwhelm Liv, or his strained self-control, Len broke the string of kisses and sat back, scooping back up his ice cream, even though it was half melted. "You do know what you've agreed to, right?" He asked her, feeling a powerful rush of pride at the flush to her cheeks and the mussed look to her hair.

"You're going to 'court' me, like a good southern Gent?" Liv asked, her voice both teasing and breathless.

"Actually," he said, "Yes." She smiled a slow, shy smile. "Which is why you are going to finish your dessert, help me wash up, and then go back to your quarters."

Instead of being insulted, or embarrassed, or anything else, like Len was afraid Liv might she grinned. "So Chrissy was right, this was a date." She picked up her ice cream and helped herself to another mouthful. She made the same, pleased little noise that had turned him on in the first place.

He closed his eyes and groaned. "Yes, and as a rule I never go further than kissing on the first date." He managed to choke out, "but if you keep making those noises while you eat that damned ice cream I will have to break my own rule."

When he opened his eyes she blushed a deep, dark shade of red. "Oh… sorry."

But there was a little glint to her eyes, the same glint he was so used to having known her twin for four years and her for nine months. "No your not. You knew that would get to me."

She blushed a darker red. "Can you blame me?" She asked, shyly, despite the flirtatious glint to her eyes still. "I've never knowingly affected a man like this. It's sort of fun…"

Liv was sad to leave Len's rooms, even though it was nearly midnight when she finally did. It was really nice, getting to know Len better, and tons of fun getting under his skin. _I never new I could feel so… powerful._ She thought, smiling to herself. _And I never knew Len smiled so much. I mean he doesn't smile like Jim or Chrissy do, big, happy smiles, but the ones he does show…_ Small and wry usually they were enough to completely change his appearance.

_I'm dating someone_ she thought, feeling a stupid grin cross her face. _I'm dating my boss._ It was joined by an almost hysterical giggle. _And I'm not all that scared… Okay, sure, kissing him is a little frightening, because I'm really not used to it and he is, and I don't want him to think less of me… And it IS scary letting him get close but… It feels almost natural. And It's easy to just… chill with him. I trust him that much._

She reached her quarters and typed in her personal codes. It wasn't until the door hissed shut behind her that Liv realized how tired she was. Carelessly Liv stripped off her clothes and fell into her bed, sleep coming to her even before her head hit the pillow.

AN: Okay, so I thought we were going to get something raunchy but apparently I over estimated Liv. She's just not ready to jump into bed with Len but she IS ready to jump into dating him. So instead of leaping into the relationship we'll go slower, which I like but it'll make the story even LONGER. So instead of looking at a total of maybe 42 chapters I'm thinking we're now looking at 46 or more.

So I hope you enjoyed this chapter of What A Doctor Needs. Because next chapter we will be getting more of Jim and Nyota, Pavel, and possibly we'll even catch a glimpse into the life of Chris and Spock (though they're not the focus of this story).

As for Chris and Spock, btw, I am more than able to start writing a few short stories for them, like chapter long blips in their lives, so if you have any cute ideas for what Chris can bully Spock into then, please, tell me! Because I'm always hungry for plot bunnies. ^_^

Ciao!


	30. Bleed Me Blue

2259 – June 8th 1200 Hours

Liv blushed and looked sideways at her brother's lover. "Well how was I supposed to know it was a date?" She asked Nyota. "I mean yea, he's showed some interest but…"

"Because he asked you to his rooms?" The slightly older woman answered with a laugh. "This is Bones we're talking about. That man is as private as they come. The only one more private than him is Spock!"

"I've been to his rooms before and they weren't dates then!" Liv argued, picking through the rack of silk tops.

"Had he told you he was interested then?" Nyota asked, but her voice was teasing. She knew Liv knew the difference between the circumstances. "And… don't worry about the whole, 'he's your boss' thing. I mean if Jim and I can manage the two of you can manage. You're both a bit more professional than Jim. And Bones gives you so much leeway as it is I doubt he could give you any more."

Liv blushed and shot a glare at her friend. "He does not." She muttered, pulling out a silk robe and considering it closely.

"Oh he does too." Nyota said with a laugh. "How many of his doctors does he trust to do their own work without double checking it? How many PA's are allowed to do work ups all alone and just get a signature?"

"He doesn't check the doctors all the time, just on cases he thinks are more difficult than others. And have you met the other PA's? " Liv sniffed. "I'm almost insulted to be under the same classification as them. They're idiots." Nyota just laughed and her conviction made Liv hesitate. "You think he's softer on me because he's interested in getting into my pants?" She asked, biting her lip. _I thought it was just 'cause I'm capable and he can trust me…_

"Oh hell no." Nyota said fervently. "Honey, Bones is very serious when it comes to his patients. He wouldn't give you that sort of leeway unless you deserved it. But I doubt he's giving it to you _just_ 'cause you're as good as you are." They were silent for a moment and Liv continued to consider the beautiful pale green-grey silk robe. "You should get that one." Nyota said a moment later.

Liv looked up and Nyota was pointing to the one in her hands. "You think?" She asked a little shyly.

Nyota nodded. "Hell yes. That's a great color on you." Liv just smiled at the compliment. _Sadly I didn't even think about how it would look on me._ She admitted to herself. _It just reminds me of Len's eyes…_ "If you ever let him see it, Bones will love it!"

Liv was not so innocent and naive (blame Jim for that) that she didn't know what Ny meant, and she blushed a little; despite the fact that the concept of Len and her being intimate was a frequent theme in her dreams. But instead of admitting to anything she ignored the comment and handed her credits to the merchant. "Let's head toward the restaurants, I'm hungry." She wasn't, actually, not yet, but between the lane of pubs and taverns and the small market tent they currently browsed were some of the finest jewelry stores in hundreds of lightyears.

1450 Hours

Dr. Leonard McCoy eyed his young friend and Captain flirt shamelessly with the barmaid. He didn't recognize her species, not off hand, and in fact he wasn't entirely sure the creature flirting with Jim was actually female. Although good to his word about not drinking, Jim could only control himself so much. Without Nyota there to hold his attention, Jim had lasted less than an hour before turning his charm on.

Len let his friend have his fun, enjoying sipping his second drink. At least his preoccupation stopped Jim from noticing that Len wasn't getting smashed. The point of the day was as a sort of repayment for Jim's birthday, where he'd chaperoned his best friend, allowing the younger man to drink himself silly in an effort to forget his demons. But Len didn't feel like he had demons to drink away, not anymore.

Sure, Joanna was living on Earth, with her mother and her mother's new man, but Len got to talk to her frequently, a major step up from seeing her once a year and speaking to her only a few times more. He was, surprisingly, no longer bitter about the divorce. While it caused him to be farther apart from Joanna, he didn't much care that he was no longer married, as he once had. Instead he was glad he was single, free to pursue Liv.

His lips curled into a smile. Livine, the real reason for his elated mood. She'd agreed to let him woo her. It wasn't everything he wanted, not by a long shot, but it was a major step in the right direction.

Len glanced up, pulled from his musings by Jim's good-natured laugh. "That's flattering, maybe later, but for now I'm taking my friend here out for his birthday." He bit back a retort as Jim used him as an excuse to _not_ go off to the restroom with the barmaid.

The alien made a face that resembled a warped pout, and walked off toward the bar. "You're showing amazing restraint, Jim." He commented.

Jim just shrugged. "If I were drunk, I probably wouldn't have said no. And then Ny would have somehow found out and she'd kill me." He grinned. "Best I avoid that, even if she failed Star Fleet command might realize we've been breaking regulation and then we'd be in a heap of trouble."

Len didn't say so, but he was surprised by his usually carefree friend's foresight. Instead he asked, "So what would they do, if they discovered Spock and Chris, for example?" While he was worried about his friend's relationship, he was more curious as to what they'd do if he and Liv were found out. _Maybe putting her career at risk isn't worth it._ He thought, _she's worked so hard for this, can I really ask her to give it up for me?_

Jim shrugged. "Because he's Vulcan and everything he's done has been purely logical, probably nothing. He's not the Captain. But he'd never become Captain of a ship that Chris was stationed on. Should he be promoted, they'd be separated." Something in Len's gut tightened, separated? That would be awful. "Or she'd be demoted from tactical staff to a science position, research or something." _Liv is NOT getting demoted._ He thought furiously. _And she is not switching to a different shift either._

"But aside from Tactical staff and Command staff, I doubt if the higher ups really care about fraternization." Jim rambled, looking wistful, "Like Scotty could be shagging anyone he wanted and no one would care, unless they were Engineering staff and he was found to be giving them favoritism."

The knot in Len's stomach loosened. "So I could be dating one of my staff and it wouldn't be a problem?" He asked vaguely, hoping Jim wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion he was seeing Liv. Now _that_ would be an awkward conversation.

Jim just grinned slowly, a knowing look in his eye and Len found himself slowly becoming nervous. "Bones, you sly old dog." Jim laughed, "I knew you were soft on someone. It's that nurse isn't it? The one who's all tough and in charge."

Len blinked, shocked. "What? Christine?" He managed to choke out. "Lord no." The woman was older than he was for crying out loud. Why go older when he was surrounded by so many pretty young things? _Besides,_ he thought bitterly, _I've done the whole older woman thing._ _If Jocelyn counted, she is older than me._ He ignored the fact his ex was only a few months his senior.

Jim laughed even harder. "You should see the look on your face!" He chortled. "But yea, you could get away with it. It would be easiest to explain if she was on another shift, but you're so worried about your patients and so damned hard on your staff no one could say you were playing favorites." Jim's laughter faded into a wide grin. Jim slapped Len's back in a friendly manner, "It's about damned time you found someone else. I'm happy for you."

_I wonder,_ Len thought while trying to keep his face schooled into a neutral expression, _if you'd be so happy for me if you knew it's Liv I'm seeing._

"Thanks Jim." He said instead, draining his drink.

"So… who is it?" Jim asked in a low voice, leaning in a bit, like they were conspiring.

Len snorted, "A gentleman does not kiss and tell, Jim." Was his only reply, and no matter how Jim tried, it was the only one he would get.

1708 Hours

Liv's feet hurt. She'd been wandering around the Space Station since just after 1000 hours, but Nyota wasn't done yet. She was half wondering if she could make a quick, unnoticed escape when Ny grabbed her arm and hauled her into the Fleet Pub.

"Ny," Liv groaned, "come on, you're feet have got to be killing you. Let's head in."

"What?" Nyota asked, shocked, "we can't! I told Chris and Galia to meet us here ten minutes ago. We can have a girl's night!"

Liv fought the urge to run when she noticed how packed the pub was. She beat the fear back but it wouldn't have mattered. Nyota had a very firm grip.

"Look, last time I went to a Fleet Bar Pavel and I got our asses handed to us in a brawl." She half begged her friend, hoping she'd be allowed to escape.

"That's why Chris is here." Ny assured her, finally spotting their green-skinned and blonde friends at a nearby booth and maneuvering them in that direction. "She's part Vulcan. I've seen her hand a Cardassian his ass without really trying. She's out bodyguard tonight." Ny pulled her closer, slinging her arm around Liv's shoulders in a comforting way. "We'll look after you, Kirk, don't worry. We ladies, we stick together."

Unable to find any good reason to argue, and suddenly feeling almost comfortable thanks to the reassurances, Liv didn't fight when Ny pushed her into a booth, opposite Chris and Galia.

"Hi!" Chris chirped, looking far to chipper. Damn the other blonde seemed to never get down. "What took you so long?"

Ny sat beside Liv and answered, "My bad, Liv was letting me look at all the jewelry." She blushed dark enough that Liv could see it stain her darker friend's cheeks. "I might have been dreaming a little."

Galia snorted, "Girl, James T. Kirk might be a player, but that player is addicted to you. He'll eventually realize that no one else will ever hold a candle to you and pop the question."

Nyota sighed a little and it was all Liv could do to keep her knowing smirk at bay. "Star Fleet Command would throw a hissy fit if he did." Still she smiled a shy little smile. "But if he does, I hope he knows me well enough to get me one of those beautiful Romulan style ivy platinum ones."

"With the little green diamonds studded throughout." Liv added, fighting to keep her self-satisfaction to herself. But from the sudden glow of Chris' mismatched eyes, she knew Chris had figured it out. She silently begged her fellow blonde to play dumb and apparently her empathic friend got the message, because she said nothing.

"Heck yes," Nyota sighed.

"I'm hoping Spock gets around to asking me within a year or so. Damned man is a tad dense to human traditions, but I can't let him see it in my mind because then it's as good as I told him to do it." Chris lamented.

Liv, still new to the ever murky waters of romantic relationships, asked, "And telling him is a bad thing?"

Galia nodded sagely from across the table. "Obviously. The man has got to figure it out for himself, otherwise he's not worth it. I mean he might need help, but that's what his buddies are for. We are never supposed to tell them what we want."

_If Len isn't a mind reader, how does he know what I want? I'm nothing like his ex-wife._ She said nothing as the other girls twittered on. _That seems silly. If you want something badly enough that you would end a relationship over not getting it, then you should tell him. The real test is if he decides you're worth doing it. …right?_

"So how did the date go, Liv?" Chris asked suddenly, pulling her out of her musings and back to the 'Girl's Night'.

2108 Hours

Liv hummed to herself as she combed out her hair. Music played softly in the background, she'd lit some candles that she'd just bought – they smelled live honeysuckle and reminded her of summers in the south, with Joanna. She even wore her new silk robe. It felt nice to pamper herself. A full body scrub recommended by Galia, the hair mask Ny had made her borrow, even the hand and feet lotion Chris had advised for her aching feet (damn those heels).

As she brushed out her now satiny smooth hair, she contemplated cutting the shining locks. They had grown since she'd come aboard the _Enterprise_ nine months ago. Gotten so long, in fact, that they dangled a good six inches, the lowest layer brushing her shoulders and the topmost layer brushing her ears and driving her nuts. Should she put up with the torment for a month or two more it would all grow out far enough that she could actually do something with it. But was that future gain worth the torment? Liv didn't know.

The music shifted, the modern 'Lament to the Federation' fading out and an old soul song slowly filling the air. Liv smiled slightly, it was a song she'd first heard at the Dance studio where Joanna took lessons. The studio had a class for mothers and she'd watched the lovely women move with such grace and confidence as she waited for Joanna's class to finish.

_Liv leaned against the doorway, envious beyond belief. Those mothers, some of them nearly fourty, danced like young, lithe things. The embodied beauty and grace in a way Liv had never believed possible. And it wasn't as if they were world-class dancers, none of them were, but the joy and the confidence that seemed to come off them in waves compensated for their lack of skill and raw talent._

I wish I could dance like that_. She thought. _As if you could_, the treacherous part of her mind whispered, vicious and sounding a lot like Frank_. You're not that beautiful, could never be_._

_A hand gently tapped Liv's shoulder, making her jump suddenly. The woman behind her she instantly recognized, the owner of the studio. "If your little girl is in one of our classes, you're welcome to join the Mom's class for only a few credits a month." She offered, smiling generously._

_Liv's stomach churned. To learn to be so beautiful… she wished she could. "I'm not a mother." She answered._

"_But you're here for Joanna aren't you?" The woman pressed._

"_Yeah," Liv admitted, smiling despite herself as Joanna bounced from her classroom at the end of the hall. "But I'm not her Mom. I work for her Step-dad and am sort of an evening Nanny, so her mother can work."_

_The older woman's mouth opened in an 'o' of understanding. "My mistake. I assumed you were her step-mother. Her Father used to make time between his cases to come get her, but it's been a while since I saw him."_

_Liv shook her head. "He lost custody in the divorce. Apparently he's not in the picture anymore, though I know she misses him." Sadly she watched the little four and a half year old Joanna tug her boots on. "I do my best to compensate for the loss, but it's a spot no one can fill." As she knew all too well._

_The studio owner was silent for a long moment, so Liv turned her eyes back to the matronly woman. She was smiling a thoughtful smile. "You should take the class anyway. Blood doesn't always make family, sometimes the bonds based on love, and not blood, are the strongest." She patted Liv's back and turned. "Five credits for the month, wear tight pants and a tight top, see you in two days." Liv couldn't help it, she smiled._

The sharp ring of her door chime snapped Liv from one of her few happy memories and she jumped a little before realizing it was probably Jim, finally coming to ask what Ny would like.

"Computer open the door." She said, not bothering to turn around and look at her brother she said, "It's about damned time, Jim. I was just about to rack out." As soon as she heard his boots thump against the floor.

Len walked into Liv's room, immediately finding her kneeling on her bed, her hairbrush in hand. Her damp hair hung perfectly straight, the longest portions just curling as they hit her shoulders. She wore a robe he had never seen her in, a green one that shone like silk and clung to her still damp skin, covering her but leaving little to the imagination.

"It's about damned time Jim. I was just about to rack out." She called over her shoulder, not bothering to look at him as she continued to brush out her hair.

For a moment Len couldn't speak, his mouth gone dry at the very sight of her. _Be polite,_ he warned himself, _I'm a good southern gent. What would a good Southern gent do?_ The answer came rather suddenly. _Turn around_. He thought, instantly hating that he was right, it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

_Damn it,_ he thought as he turned, _damn it all to hell._ He allowed himself one last peek before he said in a voice far calmer than he would have expected, "I'm not Jim, Liv."

The noise she made was not quite a squeal and not a shriek, but whatever it was it aptly expressed her shock and embarrassment in one wordless sound. "Len!" She gasped in a strangled sounding voice. He could imagine her peering over her shoulder, using her hair to shield her face as she checked to see if he was looking. "Crap, give me a second." He heard her leap off her bed and go to her dresser. The drawer opened, cloth rasped against cloth, something hit the floor. He had to lock his limbs in place so as not to look at the sound that had to be the sound of her shedding her robe.

_Lord,_ he wondered, _was she not wearing anything under it?_ He shivered a little and held himself firm. _Damn it Liv, _he thought fiercely, listening to her quickly wrench on clothing, _you're gonna be the death of me._

"I'm decent," Liv murmured a moment later and Len turned around to face her. She stood, a blush staining her cheeks, wearing the same green robe. This time, though, it hung open over what he could clearly see was a white undershirt that exposed her shoulders and arms, and a pair of light, regulation sleep pants.

"Sorry to disturb," He murmured, "Jim was going to come see you but Nyota accosted him before he could walk me to my rooms. He seemed to think it was vitally important he find out what you had to say tonight."

Liv sighed and Len realized she was fighting back a smile. "Ny is drunk. We had a 'girl's night' and both Ny and Galia decided that meant get more than a little tipsy and start giggling at everything." She shuddered slightly, "And then they moved on to oversharing, which was worse." She walked past Len to her coffee maker. "Chris and I finally got them both back to their rooms but I guess Ny escaped and made a break for Jim's." She motioned to the coffee maker. "Want some?" She asked.

Len shook his head. He was tired and really didn't need the caffeine. He was going to get the information from Liv, get it back to Jim, and then go back to his rooms and sleep like the dead, hoping to avoid a hangover in the morning. "Thank you, but no."

Liv shrugged and went to the replicator instead. A moment later Len could smell something very minty. When she turned Liv held a steaming mug of what could only be mint tea.

"Mint tea?" He asked, joining her as she sat at her little table.

She shrugged and blew at the too hot liquid. "Chris advised it, say it helps her sleep." She grinned slightly. "I've learned quite a few things over the course of the 'Girl's Night'."

Len didn't know if he should be nervous or not. Galia, Nyota, and Chris knew quite a few embarrassing stories about him. "Oh?"

Liv nodded. "Like that Chris is hoping Spock will propose, as is Nyota hoping Jim will. That Nyota has a weakness for plum tea, and Galia has a bad habit of giving sex toys as gifts." Liv took a sip of her tea and Len let her continue, suddenly quite content to sit and listen to her recount her day, given how happy and content she looked.

"And other, more practical things, like what products are best for sore feet from high heels," she shot a glare at the black shoes he noted by her door, where she'd clearly just kicked them off as she walked in. She was silent for a moment before prodding, "How was the bar?"

Len shrugged. "Nothing to write home about." He admitted. "I drank a few drinks, we talked, Jim flirted with anything that moved."

Liv laughed, "So a usual day on the town." She concluded. Len nodded. For a moment nothing was said, and there was a comfortable silence between them, a rightness that made Len not want to leave. He wanted to let Liv finish her tea and then go to bed with her. To curl up with her in his arms and just sleep, knowing she'd be there when he woke.

"Does this count as a second date?" Liv asked, breaking the silence but not the sense of rightness.

Len grinned but shook his head. "No."

"How can you tell?" Liv asked, and he was struck, again, by how innocent she sounded.

"If this were a date," Len answered, looking at her and letting his eyes follow the curve of the top of her nightshirt up to her throat, then to her lips, "I'd of kissed you by now." He smiled a lazily hungry smile at her, one he'd learned from Jim, but toned down. "Or," he added suddenly, "I'd of at least touched you in some way." Her blush drove him just a little mad.

"Oh," was all she managed to say.

Before the moment could become awkward, Len switched gears. "So did you find a few rings for Jim to choose from?"

Liv blinked, shocked by the rapid subject change, but nodded. "Umm, yeah, but Nyota stuck to me like glue, so I couldn't have the jeweler hold anything for him. She has a major thing for platinum Romulan Ivy bands, especially ones with the little green diamonds."

"Alright," he said, committing to memory what she'd said, "good night Liv." As he stood, Len leaned down and kissed her cheek gently before pulling away. He wanted to kiss her lips, but he doubted that if he did, he'd be able to stop anytime soon.

"Good night Len," He heard her say in return as he left. He thought he could hear the smile in her voice and couldn't help but smile too, if only a little.

Not long after Len left, Liv finished up her tea and put herself to bed, her music still playing softly in the background. A Cardassian lullaby ended and another old Earth song started playing, soft and haunting. Liv was just drifting off, a smile on her lips, as the lyrics caught her attention. "Bleed me blue with simple lies; tell me everything's alright; cause losing you was more than I could take; I'm broke with no one to take your place." Liv's heart leapt into her throat and as she lay there she listened intently to the song.

The lyrics were heart wrenching. The sound of a man who had lost everything he'd ever wanted. "Why…" she whispered aloud. "Why would he call my eyes 'bleed-me-blue'?" Did he think she would do this to him? The more she thought about it, the more her good mood slipped away. She lay awake for a long time before exhaustion carried her away into fitful dream.

AN: Can you believe it? I'm BACK! After almost two years of being MIA, I have returned. I apologize for my silence. I've been finishing my degrees and landing myself a wonderful man. But now I find myself with too much time on my hands and know exactly how to remedy that, by returning to my fans!

So this is the long over due 30th chapter with many, many more to follow. All I have to say is it's a damned good thing I had the sense to write out a very detailed timeline.

But now my handsome man is also a Treckie and is helping me with my plot, so be prepared for it to feel (hopefully) a little bit more like the series – with a bit more action to help balance out the drama and fluff. As such I'm half expecting…. Like 20 more chapters, at least. So lets see if I can crank these out before I go MIA again (I don't plan to but hey, shit happens, and I AM looking for a job).


	31. A Project Takes Shape

2259 – June 9th – 0700 Hours

Liv walked right past Len as she entered Sick Bay. While she met his eyes and nodded in greeting Len could immediately see that something had happened in the ten hours since he had last seen her. Something that had to do with him, with them. _Lord that is a nice thought though, _he thought idily, his mind caught on the idea of them.

Before following Liv, Len met Christine's eyes. "Get the two patients into the exam rooms and have them change into the robes. We'll start the physicals in a moment."

"Of course Doctor," Christine Chappell responded, her eyes following Liv's retreating back. Instead of comment, the head nurse rounded up the two ensigns and shooed them into the exam rooms. Len turned and stalked after Livine, determined to root out whatever was troubling her and set it to rights.

He cornered her in his office, as she picked up her PADDs. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately, gently taking her wrist in his hand so she couldn't flee him.

He watched as Liv's mouth opened quickly, as if to deny that anything was wrong, but she closed it just as quickly. Instead she shrugged.

"Something is wrong." He insisted, looking into her lovely eyes and searching for some clue in their depths. She looked… hurt, sad. And tired. Had she not slept well?

For a moment Len was certain she'd deny him again, instead she took a breath and asked, rather hesitantly, "Why do you say my eyes are 'bleed-me-blue'?"

Len blinked at the randomness of the question, thrown for a loop momentarily. "That's what's bothering you?" He asked, just to be certain.

Liv nodded once. "I was listening to a collection of music from the ship's data banks last night. This song came on, called "Bleed MeBlue" by some old band called Underwater. It…" she hesitated only momentarily, "it's really sad Len. It's about someone who gets his heart broken for crying out loud. Why would you associate my eyes with that song?" She looked, genuinely hurt.

The very vulnerable look in her eyes explained all he needed to know and Len sighed softly. "It could be taken as an insult, I suppose." He explained, touching her cheek with his fingertips more for his reassurance than hers. "But I don't mean it as one." She stared at him with those damnedable eyes and he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and not stop until she was satisfied, but he doubted that she would be receptive to such a display at the moment, particularly as they were both on the clock.

"Your eyes," he explained, "are the kind of eyes that make a man fall in love. The sort of eyes I could let myself get lost in and for good or bad I'd never be the same." He stroked her cheek carefully, watching her face for signs that she was about to shy away, like the filly she was. "Powerful, compelling, stunning blue. That's what I mean by 'bleed-me-blue'."

He was very pleased to watch her cheeks turn pink with the faintest hint of a blush. "Oh," she murmured. "Okay then." She smiled shyly at him and he was unable to stop himself from leaning in to kiss her beautiful mouth.

"Doctor!" Someone screamed as the doors whooshed open, "Doctor help!" Len growled a curse, released Liv, and stormed out of his office snarling. He didn't know it but Liv leaned heavily against the doorframe and touched her cheek, where he had caressed her. She grinned what one might call a slightly hysterical grin, as if only just keeping herself from giggling foolishly, and blushed. After only a moment she composed herself, however, and joined him in the fray.

It was one of those days.

2259 – June 10th – 0655 Hours

Liv walked into the Sick Bay a little early for her shift. She'd planned on being earlier, to make up for being only just on time the morning before, but she'd overslept. The Gamma shift had been hellish, apparently, and when they'd needed an extra hand they'd called to wake her up – three times. Liv was quite sure of a few things, as she carried a mug of steaming coffee in her hands.

First, she did NOT envy the Gamma shift's head of Engineering. He or she was most certainly on Scotty's shit list that morning. Second, she felt more than a little foolish for how she'd reacted the day earlier. Not the slight swoon over McCoy's explanation, she figured that was a fully understandable swoon. But for her anger and hurt over something as silly as a song, she wanted to apologize. And finally, she knew that Len was bound to be in a right mood as he had been called on at least three times, as she had, and gotten as little, or possibly less, sleep than she had.

On practiced, quiet feet she slid into McCoy's office and up behind him. He was slumped over, glaring tiredly at a PADD, probably one belonging to someone seen on the Gamma Shift. As soundlessly as possible Liv set the mug beside her boss's right hand. He didn't jump, just looked a little startled when he glanced at her over his shoulder. He looked ten times worse than she felt.

"Don't sneak up on me, damn it woman." He growled, but his hand curled around the mug tightly, his fingers brushing hers as he did, and his touch was as gentle as ever.

Liv smiled slightly, a little pleased with herself that she hadn't lost the little used skill – it had been a survival trait in a house with Frank, but she hadn't used it in so long… She shrugged, looking about. No one was in sight. A little thrill of nervousness shot through her as she decided, rather spur of the moment, that she wanted to cheer him up. After all, no one was around to witness it…

When she looked back at her boss he had turned around, paying attention to the PADD once more. Liv leaned forward and swiped the PADD from under his nose. Len turned, a growl on his lips, she was certain of it. She didn't let him voice it, though, as she kissed him quickly, her heart pounding out a violent quickstep against her ribs.

Len did growl, but it wasn't an angry sound. It was a sound that send shivers of a new and wonderful sort down Liv's spine. His hands came up, one tangling in her hand and the other curling around her waist. He tugged once, rather suddenly, and she dropped into his lap. Startled she tried to break the kiss but he wouldn't let her and when his tongue ran across her bottom lip she stopped trying.

Finally they had to breathe and Len let her pull away from him, though she didn't retreat more than a scant inch or two. She sucked in a few heavy breaths, smiling. "Good Morning, Doctor." She murmured.

His mouth broke into a smile of his own, "Mhmm," he answered in a satisfied tone. "Good morning indeed."

The look in his eyes said he wanted another kiss, and Liv was all to happy to give him one, when the door hissed open and Nurse Chappell called in an annoyingly chipper voice, "Good Morning!"

She signed and stood, pulling her uniform straight and fixing her mussed hair, glad she hadn't worn lipstick or lip gloss (which Galia had mentioned would make men want to kiss her more). _Apparently,_ she thought happily, _I don't need help in that department._

Len stood too, towering over her. "Not that I mind," he said in a low voice, "but what did I do to deserve that?"

Liv shrugged, "Dunno, I just sort of felt like it." She blushed a little, realizing rather suddenly she had acted _very_ inappropriately in her work environment.

Len didn't look annoyed, instead he looked… downright pleased. "Let me know if the mood strikes you again." He said in that same low voice.

Liv felt her cheeks warm up a little more but she nodded and managed to sound almost cool and confident when she said, "Sure, I think I can manage that." And then she ruined the effect by practically bolting from the office and out into the main portion of Sick Bay.

2259 – June 11th – 1301 Hours

Liv tried _not_ to glare at Len, instead she remembered Jim's adorable pout and schooled her features into the expression she'd seen on her twin so often.

"Please Len," Liv murmured, looking up at her boss from her perch on his desk. "Please."

Len looked at her briefly, his green-grey eyes stern. "Not this time Liv." He growled, turning to keep packing his Medic kit. But there had been less resolve in his voice that time and Liv felt a little flash of hope that maybe, just maybe, she was wearing him down.

"Come on," she urged, sliding off the desk to get a little closer to him. "I'm so sick of this ship and you hate away missions." Slowly but with a surety that surprised her, Liv placed her hand on his arm, stilling him. "Please let me go with them."

Len turned to face her, putting them very close. It was a small blessing that the office door was closed and they were afforded a little privacy. "Why don't you want me to go?" she asked softly.

Len scowled slightly, his brows furrowing. "Last time you went on an away mission you needed rescuin'." His hand drifted to her cheek. "I'm not partial to havin' ta patch you up."

Liv let the blush heat her cheeks. _He really is serious about me,_ a part of her whispered, awed at the genuine worry and tenderness in his eyes. "Jim isn't coming on this mission," Liv said softly, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood. It was just a little more intense than she could handle in such a public environment. "He's the trouble magnet, not me." Len snorted and the mood shifted a little, lost some of that intensity, but his eyes were still tender.

"You really want ta go?" He asked, his voice resigned.

"Very much so." Liv answered, smiling brightly. "Please say yes." She begged. "Besides, we're swamped today. I couldn't handle this without you, especially if I had to call in one of the other shift doctors." Len chuckled. "No, seriously," she insisted, "they'd just slow me down double checking everything I do and second guessing me."

Len sighed, clearly resigned to the fact she had won. He handed her the Medic kit. "Be careful," he growled, "I mean it this time. If I have to patch you up this time for any reason, you'll be left on ship for the next dozen away missions."

Liv's fingers curled around the handle of the kit and she leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Agreed." She dashed to the door before he could change his mind and pull rank on her. At the door she hesitated. "Don't hypo anyone out of frustration while I'm gone." And then she bolted to the transporter room.

1345 Hours

Liv smiled brightly at Sulu as they beamed down. "Glad to get off the bridge?" She asked the Asian man.

He let a grin split his face and he nodded. "You have no idea. It's always, 'Sulu, you have the Comm.'" He said in a very good imitation of her brother. He made a face. "I'm so sick of having the comm."

Liv took a deep breath of the delightful fresh air, letting the wind whip about her too long blonde locks. _Shoulda cut them_, she mused to herself, trying to tuck one particularly errant lock behind her ear. Damned thing kept springing free.

"I know the feeling." Liv commiserated. "Bones is a little over protective since the last few away missions."

Sulu snorted. "Man has good reason. You seem to get kidnapped a lot."

Liv made a face at the Japanese man. "It's Jim's fault," she groused. "Jim's the trouble magnet, I just seem to keep getting caught in the middle."

"Well then," Sulu said jovially, happier than she'd seen him in a long while. "Let's just show them how wrong they are about keeping us locked up, so we can get off ship more often."

Liv nodded, hoisting her Medic kit and the pack of specimen containers she carried for Sulu. "Lets." She agreed, surprising herself with how comfortable she felt with the man who less than a year ago would have made her incredibly nervous. The Asian botanist lead on, and after Liv fell into step behind him, the two other science officers (an entomologist and a geologist) dropped in behind her, and the security team, including Blake, fell into step behind them.

Sulu smiled at Livine from over his shoulder as he knelt to collect a sample from a particularly intriguing plant. "This doesn't really seem like your thing." He said conversationally, wanting to get to know his Captain's twin a little better.

She shrugged, tucking back a strand of her blonde hair, "Well if you need a medic I'm best qualified of everyone other than Bones," she grinned a little, "and I actually am interested in botany. Plants were our first medications and let's face it, they are still the source of some of our most incredible medical discoveries."

Sulu nodded pleased someone understood his passion. "I agree." He collected a sample of the roots and the soil around the plant. "Good to see a doctor who hasn't forgotten her roots." He joked, handing her the specimen container with the root sample.

Liv surprised him by sticking her tongue out at him. "Haha," she said sarcastically, giving the sample jar a little shake before tucking it back in the pack. "I'll have you know my PhD was in comparative medical techniques, lots of alien races are still using what we'd consider 'Witch Doctor' medicine with incredible results."

Sulu stood and they kept walking, keeping the rest of the team within eyesight. "I know, it's so amazing." He glanced at Liv, "It would be so fun to catalogue all our plant and animal specimens and see which had medicinal uses."

"We could recruit Chris and have her help, she's got the cultural anthropology background. Could come in handy to have her help us with researching which species use what, and why." Liv added, holding her scanner up to collect as much data as possible.

"And you could research the physiology of those aliens, figure out why the treatments work with their physiology." Sulu could already see it, the three of them, working in the labs, having fun and furthering human knowledge along the way. They might even come across a few important medical breakthroughs along the way.

"And when we were finished we could write a book and become famous." Liv concluded, Sulu matched her gin with one of his own.

"Which would make my Father realize that botany wasn't a stupid specialty." He felt a flash of vindictive pride. _He'd have to be proud of me then._ He thought.

Liv sobered quickly, "He said that to you?"

Sulu hated that he'd killed their fun but nodded, not wanting to lie to his companion. "Yeah, he was really… displeased with me. He felt I was dishonoring the family."

Liv's expression hardened a little. "So fuck him." She said with surprising venom. "We're going to do this."

Sulu blinked, startled. "It was just an idea, a pipe dream."

"No it's not." Livine said firmly, beginning to walk again, and Sulu realized they must have stopped but he couldn't remember when. "We're going to do this. It's a great idea, it's going to be so much fun, and if it shows your Father how wrong he was… well then that's an added bonus."

Sulu had to move quickly to catch up to her. "You're serious, aren't you?" He asked, evaluating her expression. She nodded and flashed him a smile. "You'll need the Captain's permission, and Dr. McCoy's." _Jim will be easy to convince, but McCoy… he's very much a Fleet Doctor. I don't think I've ever seen him use anything other than Star Fleet medical science._

She smiled a little wider. "Let me worry about both of them." Her surety was startling and Sulu was startled to remember the woman who'd come aboard nine months before, and he wondered where that woman had gone, and where this Kirk had come from, because they couldn't be the same person.

But that didn't stop the excitement he felt at the prospect of a project in which he could indulge in his passion. "If you're sure, then I'm all for it."

1945 Hours

The door to Len's quarters hissed open a moment after he bade the computer open the door. He was only a little surprised to see Liv bound into his room, a very large, very Kirk grin on her face. _Oh Lord,_ he thought, _what's she up to now?_

"Good day I take it." He asked with only a little bitterness. He had only just gotten off shift and he would be working on paperwork and reports for hours more.

"Wonderful," She admitted, taking a seat at his little table and stealing a PADD. "I need your permission to undertake a joint research project with Sulu."

Len felt his brows lift a little, surprised at Liv. "Research into what?" He asked. Whatever it was it had to involve medical practice if she wanted to be involved. And botany if Sulu was involved.

"Research into 'Witch Doctor' medical practices across alien cultures." She answered simply. "All the research we do into the plants and animals on alien planets are into commercial uses, or if they're edible. We want to consider the possibility that what we're doing here could further medical science."

Len couldn't help but be skeptical. He'd been taught only the standard Fleet medical practices. He knew other alien species used less… scientific methods of treatment but he doubted their effectiveness. "I don't know Liv," He said honestly.

"Aspirin was first used by the Native Americans, who chewed willow bark to relieve minor to moderate pain and swelling." She said before he could fully formulate an argument against her. "Willow bark tea was common up until the 21st century." He must have still looked skeptical because she continued, her expression taking on a desperate edge. "We discovered the first clue to the cure for cancer in the brains of sharks." She reminded him.

_She has me there…_ He thought. _And she's so passionate about it… If I deny her, what will she think of me?_ He tried to force that thought away. He couldn't let his feelings for her and their relationship influence his decision as the CMO. _But ignoring our relationship, what harm will this do? If I were to allow this what repercussions could we face?_ Len took a long moment and tried to think of a few. He couldn't think of any.

"There need to be a few conditions if I'm going to agree." He said finally and a beautiful smile bloomed on her face.

"Of course." She agreed. "Name them."

"First," Len said calmly, trying not to let her obvious excitement infect him, "you all will not allow this to neglect your duties." She nodded vigorously. He assumed as much, but it had to be said nonetheless. "Second you will take all precautions when handlin' unknown species, there are to be no medical disasters because of this." His eyes narrowed, "which means no testin' unknown medical treatments on yourselves, ever." She had the decency to blush and look away, embarrassed.

"Agreed." She murmured before meeting his eyes again. "Anything else?"

"Yes," he said, and this time he allowed himself to smile a little. "You will only work on this a few evenin's a week, so as to allow yourselves to keep a healthy social life."

"Worried we'll over work ourselves?" She asked, but her smile had a slight shyness to it.

"While you do that a lot, no, that's not why." Len admitted, "I am just guaranteein' that you will have time to see me at least once a week." He winked at her, "can't let this take up all your time if I hope to sweep you off your feet."

"Thank you," she said softly, giving him a very sweet smile. "You won't be disappointed you said yes."

"Lord, I better not be." He growled, "or I will shut you down faster than you can say 'CMO'." He expected her to head toward the door after she rose to her feet, but she didn't. Heading instead to the replicator.

"Green tea." She told the machine before joining him at his table again with a steaming mug. She took a PADD and began scanning it. "So, need a hand?" She asked. Her voice was almost confident, wavering only a little, but it gave away her shyness.

"You don't have to." He told her, giving her an out. He felt almost guilty letting her help him finish his work.

"I know." She said simply.

"Sure." He accepted, honestly grateful.

AN: YAY! Another chapter done in only a day! It's coming so much faster than I thought it would!

But OMG! Damn Sulu and Liv, they surprised me! I was just planning to write the away mission as a little diversion but they decided to start a project and before I realized it, they've added another facet to the plot. I'm almost certain they did it of their own accord, because I sure as hell didn't plan it. But now it's happened it works pretty darn well with the rest of my ideas so lets see how it goes.

As always, review = preview. Next chapter will involve fluff, the project getting underway, and a MOVIE NIGHT! I'd take ideas on the movie, but I've had it planned out for the last 2 years ^_~. So I'll take bets. Winner gets a mention in the AN at the end of next chapter and a longer preview.


	32. Doom, Da Doom, Doom, Doom

2259 – June 15th 2000 Hours

The senior staff members of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ were slowly making their way to Rec room 4 as Liv and Chris were putting the finishing touches on their impromptu theater. They'd commandeered couches from various places, including crew quarters, a few side and coffee tables, and replicated enough popcorn to feed a small army.

"Think it's enough?" Liv asked Chris, knowing the other blonde had more experience with 'movie night'.

"Probably." Chris answered, tossing a piece of the salty, buttery goodness into her mouth. "At least the replicator codes have been fixed since last time. It came out burned."

Liv snorted. "It wasn't replicated. Jim made it in his quarters."

Chris looked shocked, "He can burn popcorn?"

Liv shrugged, holding back a giggle at the horrified look on her friend's face. "Jim burns water. Man couldn't cook to save his life."

"Maybe we should do a cooking class in that new Holodeck." Chris mused.

"Don't invite Jim," Liv advised, fluffing pillows and dumping her blanket on a particularly comfy two person couch. "He'll damage the Holodeck." After a moment of listening to Chris giggle she added, curiously, "And last I heard the Holo technology was in its infancy, but when I came on board you guys had the most amazing holodecks. How is that possible?"

Chris stopped laughing and became serious. "It's a long story, but suffice to say I and Jim have a friend who had the connections to make it happen." Liv wanted to ask more but Chris didn't give her the chance. "So how's the project with Sulu coming? Was my research helpful?"

Liv sighed, a little annoyed at her friend's evasiveness, but let it slide. "Yea, it was great. We got in touch with that doctor, Phlox. He was thrilled to give us all his data on his medical practices." She laughed. "I can't believe that only a few decades ago Star Fleet allowed him to be a ships doctor."

"He's an interesting guy." Chris admitted. "But their culture is way more interesting in my opinion. After we met when I was in my teens, I kept in touch, he has a passion for anthropology that rivals mine."

"What about their culture?" Liv asked, moving to prepare the holovid.

"They're a very… sexually open species. They're polyamorous. Each individual has three mates of the opposite sex. Phlox has three wives, each of his wives have two other husbands and so on."

Liv shuddered. "That would be too much for me. I can hardly handle…" She let her voice trail off, not sure of how much her friend really knew.

"Bones," Chris finished for her, smiling. "He's a good guy. But it's a good thing you're not into that sort of relationship. I'm pretty sure Bones doesn't share."

Liv blushed. "What about you?" She asked, diverting the attention from herself.

Chris winked, "As if I had the energy for another man, Spock is more than enough for me." Liv blanched, suddenly wishing she hadn't asked, because she was suddenly having trouble removing the mental image of Spock and Chris locked in a… compromising position.

"EWWWWW" she squealed, like she would have had it been Jim who over shared. "Too much information! Too much information!"

The door opened and Spock entered. Liv turned to see him life his brow in question at his lover and Liv couldn't help it. She burst out laughing hysterically to prevent herself from squealing gain.

Less than fifteen minutes later the whole group had finally arrived and Liv found herself sharing the couch with Galia, not Len as she'd half hoped.

"So what's tonight's movie?" Jim asked happily from the seat he shared with Nyota. "Please tell me it's not 'Night of the Androids' again."

Everyone groaned, Liv in particular. "Hell no." She assured her friends. "Chris and I thought we'd go really old school again."

"How old school?" Len asked from his chair on her other side, almost close enough to touch. She wished he was closer.

"Ummm… early 21st century." Chris answered. "It's a movie they based off of a computer game. What's it called again Liv?"

"Doom." Liv answered, fighting a little grin. "It's about aliens and bioengineering, and is set on Mars."

"They weren't on Mars in the first few decades of the 21st century." Sulu commented.

"It's set in the future, like 2020 or something. Obviously its nonsense, but I heard it was funny." Liv explained before leaning forward to press play. "So shut up and try to enjoy."

A few minutes into the movie Len found himself staring at a face amazingly similar to his own.

"Holy shit, Bones." Jim breathed. "It's you."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jim." Len growled but he watched Liv out of the corner of his eyes. She grinned, her eyes following the character 'Sargent John Grimm' with interest.

Only a few minutes later Jim said "See, See!" as the character looked up at the camera as the elevator sunk into the earth. "It is you!"

"He could practically be your twin." Liv agreed with her twin. Len held his tongue and watched as the movie progressed. When the team went in the 'Arc' his stomach lurched. "Holy crap." Liv breathed. "That looks positively terrifying."

_I will never complain about the transporters again._ Len thought as the screen flashed two legs materializing in a different universe from the rest of the man.

For the next twenty or so minutes Len had the surreal experience of watching himself run around as a military man, toting an archaic gun and everything. What didn't help matters was Galia and Liv whispering to one another very, very quietly.

When the on screen doctor drew blood from the man with one ear Liv groaned in disgust at the same moment Len snorted. "No way in hell."

"Bullshit." Liv agreed at the coagulated blood in the syringe. "Couldn't happen like that."

"Shut up and let us enjoy the crappy movie," Chris scolded.

The silence only lasted a few minutes, broken by a few laughs from the assembled group. "No!" Chekov cried. "No, you newer spleet up! Haff dey newer seen horror mowies!"

Only minutes after Chekov yelled at the screen they discovered why, as the character names 'Goat' was attacked. Liv's gut twistedas the men tried desperately to save one of their own. She could have, in her lab, but with early 21st century medicine, he was a goner. 'Reaper' was yelling orders and for a moment Liv was almost certain it _was_ Len on that screen, because it sure sounded like him. _He is rather sexy, with the scruff and she shorter hair._ She thought with a smile.

"Hey Bones, it _is_ you," Jim said with a little laugh. "If you had shorter hair, scruff, and more muscle."

Liv rolled her eyes. She had seen her boss shirtless, she knew the definition he had. Sure it wasn't a perfect six pack and arms so muscle tough they were muscle bound, like the actor who played 'Sarge'.

"Be nice Jim," Nyota chided.

Samantha asked for a 'power bone saw' and Liv smiled wistfully. "Hey Len, will you get me a power bone saw?" She asked playfully in a voice only meant to carry to his ears.

"Hello no," he growled and Liv felt a little hurt. "I'll get you a photon laser instead." He grinned a little roguishly. "Far more useful."

_God he is sweet,_ she thought as she settled back into her seat. _Is it lame I think that's sweet?_ She wondered before deciding she didn't care.

Over an hour later, once the movie was done, Liv stretched. It was just after 22 hundred hours and she was fighting back a yawn.

"Sargent Grimm is a sexy beast." Chris announced, as if having finally decided.

"Mhmm," Liv answered in agreement, still stretching. "Very."

She saw Len turn to watch her, his eyes intense. "You think so do you?" He asked her in a low voice.

"Yup." She answered nonchalantly. "It's the scruff."

"And his intense eyes." Galia commented, leaning a little closer to Liv to join in the conversation as the others around them stood, beginning to clean up.

Liv blushed a little but nodded, holding Len's gaze. "Yes, he had nice eyes." _Which were the exact color of Len's._ She thought to herself. "But I rather liked his hands. I think his hands are sexy."

"I didn't notice." Galia said with a shrug. "I kept trying to get a good look at his ass."

"Why would you be checking him out?" Jim interrupted. "He looked too much like Bones to be attractive."

Liv blushed a little deeper and said, mostly to herself, "I dunno, that was most of the appeal for me." She thought she'd said it quietly enough no one else heard her, but she didn't notice Len's mouth quirking into a rather satisfied grin.

2259 – June 20st – 1200 Hours

Len watched his PA as she at her lunch, her nose in her PADD. He missed the opportunity to talk to her over lunch, but he had to admit, even just to himself, that he did enjoy the opportunity to study her. Rarely was he able to stare at her, no one to observe his intent scrutiny of her.

Her hair had gotten long, the shortest layer just brushing her ears while the rest curled at her neck. She kept brushing her locks aside. They must be driving her crazy, too short to do anything sensible with, but long enough they needed some attention. "Anything of interest?" He asked her.

"Oh yes," She answered between bites of her sandwich. "Phlox was a very interesting man. He had a bunch of medical degrees from many advanced societies, but half of his methods were more witch doctor medicine than science medicine." She finally looked up, "did you know that he had a veritable menagerie in his Sick Bay? Bat-like aliens, slugs, leeches from many different planets. Each one had a medical purpose."

Len couldn't stop himself from wrinkling his nose in disgust. _Leeches… what was he from, the middle ages?_ But he held his tongue. "Any of them offer a use we can't match with current science?"

Liv nodded, which surprised him to no end. "There is a plant that is found in remote regions of Illyria that is a cure for the Cardassian Flu. It was used as an alternative for the medical cure." She shot him a look. "Apparently Phlox used it for those crewmen who were allergic to the usual cure."

_That_ shut Len up. _Well damn, I guess we might be needing some of that._ It would have stopped him from being a miserable ass for a week. He couldn't help but enjoy her self-satisfied smile, even though it was aimed at him. "Maybe there is merit in your project after all."

"Of course there is." She answered, "Sulu helped me analyze one of the plants we found on the last M planet we visited. It's a new species; we're going to get to name it. And on top of that, it has an incredible enzyme that helps boost the body's natural healing capabilities."

Len didn't say anything more, he just watched her as she returned to her PADD. For the rest of their lunch they sat in companionable silence, Liv intent on her reading, and Len intent on her. As they stood, gathering up their trash, Liv surprised Len by asking "So what are your plans for tomorrow after our shift?"

Ignoring that he had intended to finish some work related reading and catch up on patient files, Len answered, "Nothin', why?"

Liv shrugged, her eyes shy as she met his gaze. "I was just thinking that Sulu wanted the afternoon off from our little study, so I'd be free."

_And we haven't had a date since dinner almost two weeks ago._ Len though, following what he hoped was her train of thought.

"Well if you've got time," he drawled, closing the distance between them, enjoying her faint blush, "how about we make a date of the evening."

Her blushed deepened but she smiled. "Dinner?" She asked softly.

Len shook his head. "Naw, meet me at the holodeck half an hour after we get off shift, wear comfortable clothes."

She looked confused for a moment before nodding. "You're not going to tell me what you have in mind, are you?" She queried.

"I think I'll surprise you." He leaned down, stole a chaste kiss, and left feeling very satisfied with himself.

1748 Hours

Liv carefully added enzyme delta to her samples of damaged human dermal tissue before placing the sample dishes back into their cabinet. "We'll let those sit for the next forty eight hours or so." She told Chris, who sat on a stool a few feet away, watching intently. "We have some control samples already." She didn't glance back as she asked, "hand me the Vulcan and Klingon samples?"

"Sure," Chris chirped, the sound of her feet making soft sounds on the floor as she stood to fetch the requested samples.

The two samples looked nothing alike, the Klingon pink tinged and the Vulcan green. "Thank you." She murmured, adding the enzyme to the samples carefully, marking which sample received which dosage size. She glanced at her friend, and had to fight a smile at the sudden rush of joy the thought gave her. _A friend,_ she thought,_ a real friend with whom I can have a real, normal relationship._ "You'd never believe the Klingons can actually give a blood transfusion to Romulans, would you?"

Chris eyed the distinctly different colors of the samples, the colors due to the color of the species blood. "How is that possible?"

"The Klingons have just enough copper in their blood to make it a good match to the Romulans. It's not ideal by any means but it will keep them alive long enough for their bodies to reproduce more."

"But not Vulcans?" Chris asked, curious.

"As far as I know, no." Liv answered, happy to be teaching her friend something as they finished putting the samples away. ""The Romulans have enough copper than they can receive Vulcan blood as well, hence the green-ish color of their blood. It's like levels of copper concentration. Humans have almost none in comparison, Klingons have enough that they can't receive human blood but can give Romulans blood. Romulans have more than Klingons, but not so much to make them incompatible."

"And Vulcans have the most of the four, making them incompatible with anyone other than the Romulans." Chris finished, beaming.

Liv nodded, smiling. "Yes. Very good, we'll make a medical officer of you yet."

Chris wrinkled her nose. "Thank you, but no." She said cheerfully. "I'm not good with pain. I'll leave that to you and Bones." She sighed and sat back on her stool. "So now what?"

Liv looked about. Everything was dosed and labeled and put away. "Now we go have dinner at a normal time, for once." Together the two blonde women left the biolab, chatting quietly together.

2259 – June 21st – 1535 Hours

Liv's ratty old sneakers thumped out a steady, slow beat as she made her way to the holodeck to meet Len. To her chagrin her heartbeat thundered away against her ribcage, going fast enough she half wondered if she was going to have an MI. Liv didn't like surprises, not really. The fact that, over the course of her lifetime, almost every time she'd been surprised had ended in her in pain left her, understandably, apprehensive.

_You're being an idiot._ She scolded herself, _calm down. Len won't let that happen. It's going to be a nice surprise._ Unfortunately she couldn't quite make herself believe the thoughts. Not that she believed Len would hurt her; rationally she knew he would never do so. But the instinctual fear response was too far engrained in her to be so easily overcome.

She rounded the last corner, her ponytail thumping against her neck, and came to a rather abrupt stop. The holodeck door was open, waiting for her, but Len was nowhere in sight. Slowly, her apprehension rising, Liv crept toward the open doorway and peered in. The juxtaposition of the ship's corridors around her and the vibrant green grass of the field in the converted cargo hold made her smile involuntarily.

"Len?" She called, slinking into the open door, looking around. She stood at the edge of what appeared to be a small sports stadium, like one found at a small local school.

"Be right there." A voice called from somewhere out of sight, hidden by the empty bleachers. The nervousness that had made her shoulders tense flowed away suddenly, leaving her curious.

"What do you have up your sleeve?" She asked, walking further onto the field, enjoying the sun on her face. With a sigh she lay down in the grass, it tickled her exposed skin like real grass would, and she couldn't tell the sunlight was fake. It all felt so real.

"I have nothing up my sleeve." Len answered and she could hear his footfalls as he walked toward her. "It's physically impossible." As he walked into her view Liv saw why he'd answered so evasively. He wore what looked like an old school shirt, one with the school's name and crest emblazoned on the right breast, above the heart, but it's sleeves had been torn away, leaving his arms fully exposed.

_Jim you're an idiot._ She thought briefly, recalling her twin mentioning Len's lack of muscle tone. Clearly he'd never seen her boss as he was in that moment, because Len did not _look_ fit, he _was_ fit. While not bulging out all over the place, Len's upper arms were clearly defined, and she knew how strong they really were.

"Haha," she answered sarcastically to cover her enjoyment at his choice of clothing. "Very witty doctor."

"Thank you," he said, standing over her, "I've been working on that for the last half hour." His smile made her still too rapid heart skip a beat. He offered her his hand and she took it without thought. As soon as he had a good grip, he hauled her to her feet. "No lying around Lieutenant," he scolded her gently.

She pouted at him, remembering how effective the expression had been last time she'd used it. "Oh, but Len…"

"No," he said firmly, cutting her off and tossing something lightly at her chest.

Liv's arms curled automatically around the large object and she looked down in surprise. Cradled in her arms was an American football. She met his eyes and he winked very playfully. "You said you wanted to learn. I figure now's as good a time as any." Len walked a good dozen or so paces away and turned to face her. "We'll start simple, just toss the ball to me."

Liv blinked down at the object in her arms before looking up at her boss sheepishly. "Umm… how?"

AN: I was thinking of adding a bit more, finishing the date in this chapter, but I have an event to go to and wanted to post this tonight. So instead you get to wait for the rest of the date, hope you liked the fluff and flirting. I've got a bit more fluff to finish up for next chapter and I'm thinking about a little bit of plot-less sci fi goodness, as tribute to the original show.

As always, review= PREVIEW!


	33. Slime

2259 – June 21st – 1542 Hours

Len could not help but stare, dumbfounded, at Livine. "I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked numbly. "I must have misheard you. I thought I heard you ask how to throw the football to me."

Liv's reddened cheeks turned a darker color. She nodded shyly, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Every child learns to throw a football Liv." He half exclaimed, not thinking his words or tone through.

She practically flinched back from him, as if his words were a blow. His gut twisted agonizingly. "Apparently not every child." She murmured, her voice only just carrying to his ears.

Mentally kicking himself Len strode toward her quickly, careful to keep his posture as relaxed and open as possible. "Sorry Darlin'," he apologized soothingly, "I didn't think that through. Let's just try this again, starting at the very beginning." He reached her, standing so close he could see the almost imperceptible trembling in her hands.

Despite her obvious nervousness and embarrassment, Liv nodded, looking shyly through her blonde bangs, her bleed-me-blue eyes shining. "Okay." She breathed airily.

Smoothly plucking the ball from her arms he slid carefully behind her, his hand firmly, but gently, on her shoulder while holding the ball in front of her. He treated her like the filly he saw her as, letting her know where he was to stop her from becoming more nervous. "First you need to hold it like this." He showed her his right hand, curled easily around the back half of the football, his fingers between the laces. "This is the easiest way to hold it, it allows anyone to get a good grip." He coached. "You try."

Her nimble fingers took the ball from his hand, curling around the ball. It was almost too large for her and he had to fight a smile. _Lord she is little._ He thought as he said, "Good. But slide your fingers between the laces, not on them." He adjusted her grip until it was perfect.

"Why?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at him. He realized how close he stood to her, how easy it would be to pull her back against him and kiss her senseless. He restrained himself, just barely.

"This allows you to get a spiral when you throw it. You want it to spiral, so it will travel further and more smoothly." Len stood so close he could smell the scent of her skin; he wanted to nuzzle her throat and discover if she tasted as sweet as she smelled. _Bad Leonard,_ he scolded, _you almost ruined the date before it could begin. You will NOT scare her off by being too bold._ He forced himself to take a step back. "Try an experimental throw, it doesn't matter how well you do." _Damn it man, be patient._

Liv did as he bade, lifting her arm awkwardly and tossing the ball. It didn't spiral, and it didn't go more than three meters. Liv made an annoyed sound as Len tried not to chuckle. "Crap." She growled, stalking forward to fetch the ball. She rounded on him. "What did I do wrong?" She demanded and the look on her face made him loose the battle with himself. He chuckled. Her look darkened.

"Not bad for a first try." He motioned for her to return to him, "Come here and let me show you how." Her expression didn't change but she took a step forward. _Come here little filly,_ he thought, _come to me and lets see how far we can push my self-control._ With a suffered sigh Liv took the next step and walked back up to him. Silently he guided her through the proper way to throw the ball, loving how close he stood to her.

On her second try the ball spiraled beautifully, going a good ten meters. "Oh," she said softly, watching the ball fly. "That actually worked."

Len snorted. "Of course it did. Why did you think I was showing you?"

Liv glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes playful again. "I thought it was a ruse to get close to me."

"No," Len corrected, fighting a hungry grin. "That will be the tackling lesson."

Her cheeks turned a delectable pink but instead of stuttering or running, or shying away, she just laughed a little. "When do we get to that lesson?" She asked in what Len thought might have been a hopeful tone.

"Not today, unfortunately." Len admitted. "Ensign Travers has been on the waiting list for over three weeks, and his time starts in a little over an hour from now."

Liv pouted but nodded. The holodeck was a hot commodity. "So what do we do for an hour?"

"Learn to catch a throw." Len answered, walking to fetch the pigskin. "And then the other half of your surprise."

Half an hour later Liv had mostly gotten the hang of the football. She could toss it reliably, and usually get it to go in Len's general direction. Apparently her aim needed work. And she could catch the ball eight times out of ten, if Len was gentle. She suspected she was terrible, but Len assured her otherwise and it was far too much fun, just throwing the ball back and forth and talking, for her to care how terrible she was or wasn't.

Liv watched as her last throw sailed toward Len in an almost perfect spiral, only to go sailing over his head. _Oops._ She thought, only a little contrite. As Len turned to fetch the ball she got to enjoy the sight of his rear. _I could learn to like being this bad at football…_

She was almost too preoccupied to notice when Len actually continued walking away from her, once the ball sat safely in his lovely hands. "Hey, where are you going?" She asked, suddenly panicked. _He's realized I suck and he's tired of trying to help me learn. Damn it I should have tried harder…_

"Fetching the other half of your surprise." He called back over his shoulder. "Close your eyes."

Liv stood stock still, unsure if she wanted to do as he said. Closing her eyes, trusting him that completely, that was terrifying. But he had gone to so much trouble. Liv forced herself to close her eyes. She began to tremble in fear almost instantly, but she forced herself to keep her eyes closed. She could hardly hear a thing. The holographic wind whispered very softly, brushing against her slightly sweaty skin.

"Len?" She called softly. "Can I open my eyes yet?"

"Not yet." He answered, his voice not close but not terribly far away either. He was probably just behind the bleachers as he had been earlier. "Just a minute more." As she listened hard she heard his soft voice cursing, then the wind whispered again and the sound was drowned out. She heard his jubilant cry and quite suddenly her perceptions of her world shifted.

The sun was still warm but it shone through her eyelids now, as opposed to against her back as it had. Something whispered in the wind, which was suddenly a bit stronger, and there was a sweet smell in the air. She heard Len's footfalls as he walked toward her. "You can open your eyes now." He called and she did, lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. She saw green, and old brick buildings, and trees covered in soft, pinkish white flowers. Towering above it all a huge white stone structure, reaching up into the sky.

"Where are we?" She asked, turning a slow circle.

"Washington DC," Len answered, quite close to her. "In March, when the cherry blossoms bloom." As she completed her circle Liv's eyes fell to Len again, this time noting the gigantic basket he held in one hand. She lifted an eyebrow in a silent question, as she'd seen Spock do. "Picnic dinner?" He asked with a coy grin. "Enjoy the scenery and watch the sun set with me?"

Liv fought back a rather childish squeal of delight. _If this is what dating is like, why the hell did I wait so long to try it?_ She wondered as she nodded, trying to keep her cool. "Well aren't you the charmer." She teased.

Len shrugged, laying out the blanket for them as she sat. "Maybe, a little. But I figured it was something I've never done, and if I could try it, even if just as a holographic reproduction, I'd like to try it with you." He was busy setting out the meal, so he didn't see her blush or her ridiculous grin.

She glanced around at the meal and the blush deepened. Laid out were her favorite Chinese dishes. "Honey Shrimp? Kung Pao Beef? Orange Chicken?"

Len looked up at her and offered her a very sweet, very small, and very self-satisfied smile. "Your favorite." He glanced back at the basket and said quickly, "oh, and I also forgot." He handed her something heavy out of the basket. Liv looked down at it and blinked before realizing what it was. Then she laughed.

"A medical use photon laser." She said after she'd regained her breath. "You know you do a damned good job at hiding it."

"What?" He asked, curiosity in his features.

"How sweet you are." Liv murmured and kissed him.

2259 – June 22nd – 1200 Hours

"Jim," Liv sighed heavily, "is a complete idiot."

"You're just jealous." While the Beta Shift PA was right, Liv was a little jealous, there was no need for the self-satisfied, snarky tone to his voice.

"Oh, yes, jealous." Liv snarled at her incompetent peer, "That must be it. As opposed to terrified that Jim will be hurt and left in …" A warm hand curled around Liv's mouth, effectively cutting off her rant.

"You're right, she's jealous." Len drawled from behind her. "But if you don't stop acting like a self-satisfied child I will send Gamma shift down instead of you." While frustrated beyond all reason at Len from stopping her scathing rant, Liv did enjoy the sudden manner that the PA's face fell, first into a shocked and hurt expression, and then into a rather pathetic attempt at a mask of calm.

"Of course Doctor." The little twit simpered and Liv wanted nothing more than to slap the idiot. _Clearly someone made it through PA school by kissing ass, not by brains or skill._ She thought viciously and felt another little thrill of terror that her brother would be left in the fool's hands should the unexpected happen.

Len released Liv slowly, first freeing her mouth but letting his arm linger, his hand caressing slowly across her shoulder and down her back. She couldn't bring herself to scowl at him when the tine his fingers had traced sang with a light, tingling pleasure, but she tried before making a hasty get away, lest anyone notice the moment between them.

Busying herself in Len's office, collecting the PADDs with the next few patient charts, Liv tried to convince herself she was _not_ hiding. _Hiding implies fear of someone. I'm not afraid of Len._ She reminded herself. _And I'm sure as hell not afraid of that idiot Jake. Besides, hiding is usually done to avoid being found and I…_ Her thoughts trailed off for a moment when the door opened and Len walked in. She turned to him and watched his eyes. They were hungry but were very clearly not focused on the lunch Christine had brought them, but focused on her. _I want to be found._ She finished as Len walked toward her.

He stopped so close to her that Liv was quite certain she could feel the heat of him. If either of them leaned in even the smallest bit, they would be touching. Out of the corner of her eye Liv saw Len's arm move, as if to lean against the desk behind her. He lowered his mouth to hers and Liv was suddenly quite certain he would kiss her and that this time it wouldn't be nearly as sweet and gentle as the last few times. She discovered, as her heart rate sped up and her breath hitched, that she wanted him to kiss her like that.

Before her eyes could slide shut and their lips could meet, Len was leaning away from her, taking a step back. His hand came to his mouth in the same moment, depositing one of the thick cut steak fries from her plate into his mouth. He made a very pleased noise. It took a moment for her mind to find center again, but when it did Liv exclaimed, "That was mine!" because it was the only thing she could think of.

"Christine always brings me salad." Len grumbled. "Makes me feel old."

"And stealing my food makes you feel young?" Liv asked, giving her… man? a mock glare.

Len smiled slowly, "No, but this does." Liv had only a moment to process his words before he stole a slow and languid, but chaste kiss. Liv's heart skipped a beat and she smiled as he pulled away. "Now eat up, you'll need the energy if we're going to handle half of Beta shift too."

Liv's face twisted from the serene expression into one of annoyance. "I knew letting them go on that away mission would bite me in the ass somehow." Len just laughed and settled down to his salad… and to stealing a few more of her fries. Not that she minded much.

1649 Hours

Len had just finished cleaning out a head wound on a flinching, infant of an engineer when the emergency biohazard field went up around exam bed ten, and something was teleported directly onto the bed. There was a terrifying moment where Len was quite certain that the thing on the biobed, a squirming mass of white gelatin tendrils and slime of some sort, had at one time been Jim.

"Bones!" Jim's voice came from over the comm, much to his relief. Len saw Liv sag momentarily, her eyes closed in what looked like exultation. She must have been thinking the same thing Len had – that no one was stupidly reckless enough to wind up that messed up on a simple away mission, with the exception of their captain.

"What the hell happened down there, Jim?" Len snapped, forcefully shoving the Engineer a dermal regenerator and taking a few quick strides to biobed ten.

"Damned if I know." Jim answered, "I had my back turned to the PA there but he was assigned to help the botany crew take samples until he was needed."

Len tried not to respond to the "until he was needed" comment. As if Jim knew that at some point a Medic would always be needed. Maybe with Jim as Captain one would be. Liv appeared at Len's side, her tricorder already scanning the life form on the biobed.

"I've got two distinct bio signatures Len." She murmured. "Whatever that white goo is, it's a living entity." A white tendril shot out and smashed against the medical forcefield. There was an unearthly sound, almost like a shriek, and the tendril withdrew. "Bet that stings," Liv muttered, more to herself than Len, but he heard her.

His fingers flew over his own tricorder, isolating the crewman's life signs. "His heart rate is off the charts." Len noted aloud.

"He is encased in a living ball of jizz." Jim commented, walking into the Sick Bay. As Jim reached Len's side two tendrils struck out, directly at Jim, and hit the force field at the level of Jim's chest. The kid jumped. "Holy shit."

"I don't think it liked being referred to as jizz, Jim." Len drawled, sarcastically. "What do you know?"

Jim motioned behind him, and a small voice piped up. "He was collecting a sample for me, one too high up for me to reach. This white stuff was just a tiny dollop, sort of suspended from a rock formation. As soon as he touched it, it reacted, expanding and swallowing him whole."

"Wasn't he wearing his biogear?" Liv asked, not looking up.

"Umm… no." The woman's voice answered, almost shyly, as if afraid of getting the idiot PA into trouble when he might well be dying.

"Damned fool." Len snarled. "If he survives this I'm firing him."

"You've said that before." Liv murmured, her words too soft to carry to the others.

"But I like you," Len answered in the same tone, his eyes never leaving the scanner's screen, taking note of the biochemical changes that were beginning in the PA's body. "I thought he was a damned, incompetent fool before he did this to himself." Len frowned at the creature. "What the hell is it doing to him?"

"That is exactly what I'd like to know." Jim interrupted. "And is it contagious?"

"If it moved to attack him, and it moved to attack you, then it stands to reason it could do this to others, yes." Liv answered her twin, much less sarcastically than Len would have. "But it's not an infectious virus, to be contagious."

Len's scans finally completed and his gut dropped. "Oh hell."

"What?" Jim and Liv asked at exactly the same moment, with equal amounts of dread in their voices. It would have been odd to him if Len weren't too shell shocked by the severity of the situation to care.

"It's digesting him." He answered. "The crewman is still alive, but the life form is digesting him as we speak. If we don't act soon, there might not be much left to save."

"He's being eaten?" The little crew woman Jim had shown in wailed.

"Get her out of here," Liv snapped at Jim. "Try to calm her down." She turned to him and Len saw the calculation in her blue eyes. "We need to make it upchuck and soon."

"We know nothing about it Liv." Len reminded her, a little waspishly.

"So." Liv answered back in almost exactly the same tone. "There's no time to be smart about this, not really. So just think, anything, no matter how insane."

"You could try treating it like a snake." The Engineer who still sat on biobed two said. Len whirled to face the young man and felt Liv doing the same. He motioned for the crewman to continue. "You know," the Engineer continued, "if a snake gets hurt or extremely scared it will bring up whatever it last ate to distract the aggressor while it gets away." He shrugged, "or you could just beam down the creature and not the Medic."

Liv shook her head, "It's beginning to integrate itself with the crewman, it will be impossible to get a proper lock on the crewman's DNA. We could beam parts of him down with the life form."

1905 Hours

Chris leaned forward on her stool, her whole attention riveted on Liv. "So what did you do?" She asked, hanging on her friend's every word as the fellow blonde checked her samples.

"We did as the Engineer suggested. Treated it like a snake. We ran a test, found out it was silica based, and bombarded it with high yield radioactive particles from the warp core reactor. It had…" she hesitated and grinned in an almost predatory way. Chris could feel her friend's satisfaction. "a violent reaction to the radiation. Spat out the crewman and retreated to it's previous form."

Chris frowned as Liv trailed off, staring down a microscope for a long minute. "What previous form?" she finally prompted.

"Oh, the dallop-like form, which is actually a cocoon of some sort. We transported it back down to the surface and ran every imaginable scan on the PA before lowering the field."

Liv didn't seem too concerned for the other crewman, and Chris knew why. The man was a twit, who was always brimming with emotions like envy and evasiveness. Chris didn't like him one bit either. Yet she still asked, "So how is he?"

Liv shrugged, her emotions almost apathetic. "He's fine, unfortunately. Second degree chemical burns over two thirds of his body from the creature's digestive enzymes, but we managed to prevent further damage. The rest should be repaired in a few short days between the dermal regeneration treatments and this wondrous new enzyme." She smirked. "Len said I could do a live human trial."

Chris couldn't hide her shock. "I thought he was against human trials, especially so soon."

Liv's flash of anger and resentment was so strong it hit Chris like a battering ram. "Oh he is, but the Beta Shift doctor apparently has friends in high places. He found a way to over rule Len's decision to fire the blasted idiot. So now Len has decided that a little medical experimentation is just what our little PA that wouldn't die deserves."

Chris couldn't help herself, she laughed a little, caught up in Liv's vindictive satisfaction. "So you're not anticipating any major side effects?"

"Dunno," Liv answered honestly, "let's go find out." She grabbed the vial of the pure enzyme and led Chris out of the botany lab and toward the Sick Bay.

AN: Sorry for the wait all. Between a full time job and full time classes finding time to write is hard. But I've got plenty of ideas (7 full pages of timeline, most of them pretty in depth chapter ideas) and your reviews keep me driven. So keep reviewing and I'll keep writing.

On another note, I'm contemplating a running Girl's Night for the Senior crew ladies. So if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. While they might not all get written in depth, I'm going to try and mention them in conversation.

Also I'm giving serious thought to another Karaoke Night (a Girl's Night activity) and want to know if you have any suggestions for songs – especially Nyota.

Thank you all, and as always, REVIEW = PREVIEW!


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